Give Wolfram Back To Me

by mycah0taku

While Yuuri was on Earth, his fiance was kidnapped. With Greta as the only one who saw the face of the man, will they be able to find him? What if the one who kidnapped the prince is just ordered by someone? Will Yuuri finally realize his feelings and risk everything to bring back his fiance? Will Wolfram fall for his kidnapper? This is my first fanfic so dont be too hard on me.

40. Chapter 39

Give Wolfram Back To Me

A Kyou Kara Maoh Fanfiction.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the plot. Otherwise, this wouldn't be a fanfiction.

All rights belong to Tomo Takabayashi, Temari Matsumoto, and Studio Deen

Author's note: Just remember what I said in the 36th chapter update… if you don't remember, please read the author's not there again. Or you might wait for nothing. (DO NOT SKIP) Also, It's my birthday today ^_^ (October 2) and I'm finally 17 years old :-D.

Chapter 39

Yuuri's POV

I started reading…

" The 28th Maou of Shin Makoku. He is the king that my ancestor, Shinou Heika, chose to defeat the Soushou… and he did. He has onyx eyes and raven hair. He has this contagious goofy smile and a very kind personality. He is warm hearted. He gives love to everyone. He brought peace and joy to our country. He gave us hope and introduced alliance.

He gave the country and other people so much more. He also gave many things to me. He brought change to who I am or how I am and many more. But what he caused me the most is PAIN. So much pain… an excruciating pain…pain that is almost suffocating… pain that makes you feel that your heart was being ripped apart… even greater pain that the one I've experience from my brothers.

And here is how it all started…

My mother announced that she will retire from being our maou and that Shinou Heika will choose another maou for us. I already knew that he will come. I already knew that he will be my king no matter what I do, whether I like it or not. I will be downgraded from my position as the kingdom's third prince. It doesn't matter to me actually. I always say that I don't care about positions and titles, and I really don't.

But still my uncle told me that I wasn't really downgraded. There may be a new maou but no one can ever change the fact that my mother is still the 26th Maou of Shin Makoku… and I'm his son… I'm still her third prince. My position will be the same and the only change in the kingdom hierarchy is that there will be a person that will be put above my mother. But like I said, I don't care. I actually have high expectations for our soon-to-be king that time.

And I was so disappointed on his shameful arrival in the castle. Imagine a maou you have high expectation for will enter the castle gates with his horse in panic and rage, he can't even control such small horse, or even think of rubbing the horse's neck just to calm it down a bit… and then he would land on his butt in a very disgraceful manner and look up at me on top of the staircase. The atmosphere feels as if I'm superior to him. It's as if he wouldn't even pass to be a castle servant or guard.

I though at that time, "I was so disappointed. Shinou Heika chose this person to be our king?!" He may be a double black for all I care but if he puts shame like this on his position as maou, I will personally thrown him off his throne… Even if I had to replace him and shoulder all the duties and responsibilities of the whole country.

I also then feared about how he looked up to me when I was on top of the staircase. It was like he was mesmerized by me… Oh Shinou, why must this always happen. Every time I always meet someone for the first time, may it be in the parties that my mother throws… or in business and trade talks… diplomatic or noble meetings… different special occasions such as birthdays, weddings,etc… military duties… they will all look at me as if I'm the most beautiful person they've ever seen (I'm not… I know many people out there are more beautiful than me, like mother and Elizabeth)… they will stare at me as if they've fallen in love at first sight. And I don't like it when people fall head over heels for me.

They will write letters to me every day, they will personally visit the castle just to see me… they keep on flirting at me amidst my duties and it was so irritating… And some will even try to slap my left cheek and I will run away whenever I see them… when it came down to this, the suitors trying to slap my cheek, Gwendal, Conrart, Gunter, Anissina and Mother will then interfere.

So, just to make sure that won't happen to someone I will live with under the same roof, I planned that during dinner, I will insult him and all and give him a bad impression. And when the dinner started, I went on with my plan… (but I never meant it all, and my conscience bugs me every time a word will come out of my mouth). When I saw that he is already getting upset or angry, I let my guard down and not worry about him being interested in me anymore. But then, he slapped me… on my left cheek… on the dinner table… in front of my folks and the servants.

He proposed to me despite all the insults! I was so upset! And my ears shut the world out and not listen to reason even though I kinda heard that he didn't know what he had done. And that made my blood boil even more. He just proposed… He just asked for my hand… He just asked me to be his fiancée, his betrothed and he didn't even know it!? If he doesn't know the customs here in this kingdom then he shouldn't go slapping people! If he was so angry and wanting to hit me, he could have just punched me! And so I challenged him to a duel, and for the love of Shinou, he accepted it without knowing. But I didn't care at that time.

Actually, I lost the duel. I was also shocked by the fact that he could transform…. But I was more shocked by the fact that finally, after 84 years; someone had finally succeeded in making me their betrothed.

That very same day, I finally accepted him to be my king. And I didn't renounce the engagement. Me, the heir of the Bielefeld lands, being engaged to the country's king will give Bielefeld many benefits and power. We will most likely have the upper hand in debates, meetings and trade talks. At first, the engagement was really, purely political. There were no feelings involved, only politics and my pride. I was impressed that he can develop an alliance with the human countries and by his kind spirit and warm heart. He made the numbing pain I was suffering less and less each day. Everyday, I'm starting to feel true happiness again. My heart can feel warmth once more.

Both of my brother and my Uncle Waltorana also ordered me to act possessively so that no one would dare to take advantage of the king and his kindness… and also, to protect our maou from danger. With my experience, my rank, my skills, my intelligence, my looks, my talents and natural instincts… they said that I am most eligible to be the king's betrothed and his protector. And no one did object… well, there are some but all they say is that the king does not deserve me or something like that.

And I can't renounce the engagement myself; it would be a disgrace to the maou because the people will say that he is that bad, that he can't even keep his fiancée. Even though everday, he reminds me that the engagement was an accident and that he won't love another man because that's how it is in where he came from. I didn't care. My goal was to keep Bielefeld at the upper hand and all the political benefits I can get.

But along the way, I started to feel something for him… And all his denial to our engagement started to pinch my heart. The pain worsens every day that pass, for I keep falling deeper and deeper in love for him. I was afraid then, I was afraid to fully fall in love with him… because I know that he won't return the feelings I have. I wanted to stop this feeling… but I can't. And one day, I did fully fell in love with him. I don't know when, I don't know how, I don't know why. I just know when I woke up on that day that the feelings that I didn't want to harbor was already in full bloom.

'Love is magic,

The more you hide it… the more it shows;

The more you suppress it… the more it grows.'

I said that I was glad that I can feel true happiness again… that I was glad that he took all the numbing pain away. But now I wish that my heart just remained numb from pain… so I didn't have to feel yet another excruciating pain.

Everyday, my feelings would get hurt. I know that the engagement was an accident, I know that he doesn't love me, I know he won't love another man, I know it is taboo in his world… but he doesn't need to rub it in my face. That every time I will mention the engagement or being fiancés… he would bring it all up and add more salt to the already aching wound on my heart. And, by this time, he already knows how I feel about him. Doesn't he care about how hurt I am? Won't he be gentler on me with the words he say? Would it hurt him to be a bit more sensitive in matters of our engagement even at least in front of me?

He said that he only sees me as a friend, but he doesn't even treat me like one. He's so insensitive towards me. And he acts like I'm some disease whenever he will see me or I will try to touch him or reach out to him. We were engaged for two years now but he never once asked even a thing about me. About my father… about my favorite food… about my favorite color… anything! Nothing! I feel like he doesn't really want to know me...which is the exact opposite of how I feel.

Friends? Then why does he step back whenever I will move closer to him as if I'm gonna kill him or something… I know I am violent and temperamental, but he does this even though when I'm in a very good mood, which in turn makes my mood sour. Why is he so afraid of me even though I'm not doing anything? Why doesn't he want me to sleep beside him? I mean, I'm not gonna do anything except sleep there, or if there is an attack, I will protect him. I won't kill him in his sleep or molest him. I'm not that kind of person.

I'm actually kind enough to wear a night gown while sleeping beside him. Back then, I sleep in nude. I remember, the first time I slept beside him, when he woke up… he screamed and ran out of the room. That's when I started to wear those night gowns… Well, I do wear them before, when it's a little cold for me. I mean, I don't get cold that often… I'm a fire mazoku for Shinou's sake! I don't get cold that easily.

But then, as I sleep beside him… it started to get colder. It feels so cold to sleep beside the one you love without even sleeping close to each other. He puts as much space as he can between us and sleeps sideways in the way where I would look at his back. Am I that repulsive for him? If he's trying to hide it and not make it obvious, then he's too bad at it. I could have accepted it better if he were to tell me straight on, even spat it on my face… even if he would say it to me in a way that I would get the biggest reality slap I will ever get. He doesn't need to be like this.

I already accepted it, well trying to accept. I'm not dumb not to get what he's trying to say. But regardless of that, I still love him no matter what. I will protect him no matter what the cost… even if I have to sacrifice my life just to ensure his safety. I will give him his happiness even if it means we have to renounce the engagement and he decides to have a relationship to a girl. I already accepted all that. I know I cannot be a girl.

And even if I would be given a chance to be one, I still won't choose it. I respect and love who I am. And if Yuuri cannot love me the way I am, then I will just be joking myself if I choose to change myself for him. Even though I love him, it's not worth it to change myself just to make him love me. And I'm not that desperate. If by chance we do separate, that only means were not meant for each other and there is someone else Shinou Heika destined for me. I will get over it in time… time heals all wound.

Wow… it may seem so easy to say, but truthfully, it's very hard to accept and do. Well, I have no choice… I know my heart and world will shatter into pieces if that happens, but I have to accept it and get through it, or else I won't be able to move on to my life and take another step forward. So I will just brace myself for what is coming.

This was my thinking… because at this time, his actions and words were constant and not contradicting…

But then Yuuri started to become confusing. He would do things to me that will make me hope… but then he would crush that hope and throw it to my face… and he does it over and over again… making me hope then shattering that light of hope. It hurts so much and it's so confusing. Why is he doing this to me?!

In the battle with the Soushou/Originators… it possessed the body of Shinou… then Shinou took all the keys we possess… including my heart. My heart lost its ability to beat at that time and I was already dead. But then I woke up again then mother and Greta told me that Yuuri was the one who lead the others to battle with the Soushou once more so that I could be revived. I was shocked that Yuuri would go that far for me. I would understand if it were my brothers or my mother… or Gunter or Anissina… or even just my private soldiers… but Yuuri… It was so hard to believe, and yet it caused me so much happiness that Yuuri was willing to do those kinds of things for me. But then, after, when the battle with Soushou was done, everything went back to normal… even his rejection and denial.

Then one time, Yuuri went to Earth for too long and the Ten Head Aristocrats were furious and impatient. They decided to choose the next maou on their own. They needn't the approval of Shinou, for he only chose the former maou's for the sake of defeating the Originators. And would you have guessed that they chose me?! My Uncle Waltorana was the one who nominated me… and of course, he knew that I would win the nomination… I mean look at it in this perspective… him (my uncle), Stoffel (my uncle), Gwendal (my brother), Gunter (my teacher), Lord Densham von Karbelnikoff (brother of Anissina whom always visits the castle so basically, we are already in an informal relationship and we already talk casually), Lord von Wincott (Julia's brother whom also visits the castle frequently before and even became my teacher in healing for a few days that Julia went out in Rocheford lands with Gisela)… So yeah… And they most definitely won't choose the other nominee (Anissina). Can you imagine Anissina being your maou. It sends shiver down my spine.

I accepted. I was already in reign, but only in secrecy. They didn't want to reveal it to the public yet for it would cause and uproar. So yeah, I was also cooped in the maou's office signing paper work. But I was motivated to do it. I always had in mind that even if Yuuri wasn't here, I would continue to rule this kingdom in a way I know he would. But then Yuuri came back and everything became complicated.

Since no one, except the lords and ladies of the blood pledge castle, my mother, the ten head Aristocrats, Conrart, Raven and Yozak… I stepped down the throne and gave it back to Yuuri. Not that he knows that.

I pondered on the situation at hand. My uncle (Waltorana) was furious, not at me but at Yuuri. I know how much my uncle wants me to have the power over the throne, and his plans are ruined because the maou came back. So, I broke the engagement and obeyed my uncle and return to the Bielefeld lands. I was actually ready to move on and continue my life there... but then, the maou came to the Bielefeld House to take me back. I asked myself 'why?', 'Why is he doing this to me?!'... there was a growing hope inside my heart that no matter how I tried to stop keeps on growing... I hoped.

And one thing that I learned while I was with the maou, never let your hopes up high because it'll just be crushed. The maou battled with me to take me back home with him, and the maou won... a few days after, our engagement was set back on. The king keeps on giving me hope but then come crushing it and throwing it on my face over and over again! The king always tries to get away from me as much as he could like I was some disease! He says that I can't be his fiancée but I can be his friend, but he doesn't even treat me like one! He is aware that he is hurting my feelings but never tries to be careful of the things that he will say!

But I always forgive him, ALWAYS! I want to hate the maou for doing things like that to me EVERYDAY, but by the Gods out there, I can't! I can only love him! I already fell for him… I already fell too deep to be able to get out on my own. And it hurts so much that he doesn't feel the same!

What did I ever do to have this kind of life? All the people I love just brought me so much pain. My mother… my brothers… the people whom I see everyday as I grow up… people whom I learn to care for as the days passed… and lastly, the man who conquered my heart. I love them so much… but they keep on pushing me farther away from them… they're the ones to pushed me to my limit that I had to build a wall around me and my fragile heart. They're the one whom caused me so much pain, so much than I thought was possible. I've been suffering for too long, isn't it enough yet? What did I ever do?! Why are the gods out there doing this to me?! Why does it has to be me?!

I do yearn for his love… But what can I do… it's not like someone will actually answer me up there… I mean, no one even want to talk to me around here. So I wouldn't waste my time and ask the odds why… I would just continue my painful life. I will just hope that someone out there that someone does care. No matter how distant in the future I meet him, no matter how long I will wait…

But know that I will still be there for you. I will be beside you every step of the way you choose to take until the time comes that you can journey on your own and no longer have use of me. I know I can't easily replace you from the spot you've taken in my heart. I know it will be a painful journey for me. I know that it will be suffocating, for I will see you looking at women in a way you won't ever look at me… for I will see you start to harbor feelings for someone which you never felt for me… I will see you get married to and exchange vows with person of your dreams which could have been me… for I will see you with your family which once consisted of you, me and Greta…

It would be painful. But what can I do. You've stolen my heart. And now my heart is owned by you and only wishes for your happiness. May it cause me suffering, tears, despair… pain… I would abide by your wishes up to the limits of my capabilities.

I don't know if in the future, I will learn to love someone else… But all I can assure you is that no one can ever love you as much as I do right now. I love you up to the heavens and beyond… so much more height and depth my soul can ever reach… I love you and love more and more with every beat my heart makes… I love you that the power of exploding stars cannot compare… The burning fire in my heart will put the heat molten elements deep beneath the ground into shame… I love you so much than I can ever explain. The feeling in my heart, unexplainable… that even I cannot comprehend fully.

I love you Yuuri… so much… and I can't believe that IT HURTS AS MUCH."

Tears running down my cheeks…

"Oh, Wolfram." *sobs*

(To Be Continued) (I made this chapter a little longer than the others as my birthday blow out to you guys… it's almost 4000 words…) (4 pages in MS Word, Font-Calibri, size-10, Paragraph (No spacing before and after, line spacing-single)