A/N: Alright! I got more than one review, and honestly I feel selfish keeping these chapters from you when I have them on backup. So thank you for those who reviewed and please keep them coming! I'm going to make it higher than one review for the next update! The next chapter can be yours, just tell me what you're thinking! Enjoy!

Lately I really, feel like I'm rolling for delf like Philly,

feel like I'm losing control of myself, I sincerely

Apologize if all that I sound like is I'm complaining,

But life keeps on complicating, and I'm debating,

On leaving this world, this evening, even my girls

Can see I'm grievin', I try and hide it,

But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty,

When inside I'm dying, I am finally realizing I need help.

can't do it myself, too weak, two weeks I've been having ups and downs,

going through peaks and valleys, dilly dallying,

round with the idea of ending the shit right here. ~Eminem

New Orleans had endured one of the greatest natural disasters to have ever hit the United States, Hurricane Katrina. Before the storm, there were murders in the French Quarter, until the storm. The New Orleans PD believed that the killer was killed in the storm, until another body was found, and the team was called in. The victim had the same M.O, even though the un sub had an unusually long cooling off period. Caitlyn looked at Spencer next to her at the round table, she could just see on the look on his face that he wasn't in the right state of mind. Ever since the fight he was trying to not snap at her and she was trying to be as supportive as she could. The rest of the team was noticing as well. She just wondered how long she could play it off as PTSD from his abduction. All of the team got onto the jet within thirty minutes. Caitlyn was looking over the letters that were sent to one of the officers, Will from the un sub until she heard Morgan speak up.

"Hey Reid, what's going on up there?" he asked, observant of the young doctor deep in thought.

"I was just thinking about an old friend of mine from Las Vegas, Ethan. I'm pretty sure he lives in New Orleans now."

"Really? You gonna give him a call?" Morgan followed up.

"We were competing against each other in absolutely everything, spelling bee's, science fairs, we both even had our hearts set on joining the bureau… but he dropped out the first day at Quantico."

"He probably couldn't take the heat." Prentiss smiled light heartedly.

"That's probably not for us to judge is it?" Reid quaffed, Caitlyn shot him a glare.

"Right… my bad." Prentiss said softly, giving Caitlyn a gaze. JJ broke the tension by giving out the information needed prior to 2005, that was the only thing that they had to work off of. The only thing the victims had in common were that they were men walking in the french quarter, which wasn't anything out of the ordinary. The agents had to start at square one. When the team got to the crime scene the head officer was there to meet them.

"Well you must be the BAU. I'm Will LaMontagne." he said.

"I'm Jennifer Jareau, we spoke on the phone." she said hurriedly, introducing each of the team members. Caitlyn raised a brow as she saw a shift in his body language and a difference in her lingustics as JJ spoke, there was definitely something going on there. William told them about the letters over the crime scene, there was a detailed account on what happened to the body. Reid and Prentiss were looking at the bodies as the rest of them looked over the crime scene. Will then took them to the house of his father, Jones was carved into the wall. It was the last thing that he did before he died. Caitlyn kept looking at the interactions between William and JJ, trying to find any indicator on what was going on between the two. When they arrived back at the station, Hotch was looking over the letter that was sent to Will.

"Something about this looks oddly familiar. The use of Boss, the way the victims were killed… sounds like… Jack the Ripper." Caitlyn said.

"And the un sub wants us to believe he's the modern day Ripper."

Before they knew it there was another body they were looking over. This gave them enough to deliver the profile. Jack the Ripper was a lust murderer, the difference between him and the un sub was that he is calculated and believes that he relates to Jack the Ripper because of his isolation. When they were done delivering the profile Caitlyn walked to the conference room where Reid was sipping on a cup of coffee.

"Spence," she said softly, he jerked around quickly as if she startled him.

"I think I'm going to visit Ethan." he said, looking down.

"In the middle of a case?" she asked stepping closer to him.

"Yeah, I just… feel like I need to." he said. Caitlyn couldn't tell if he really was going to see his friend or if he was just going to get another fix. She leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the lips, nodded and walked away to go help the team on the rest of the case.

Reid's Point of View

Reid walked though the French Quarter, his old friend in his sights. He was always one step ahead of him and loved to give anyone a good scare so when he popped out from the corner and earned a jump from his old companion he couldn't keep the wide grin from spreading across his face.

"Spencer! You scared the hell out of me." he said.

"I've always been one step ahead of you man."

"Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night." he said with an eye roll, "I'm glad you called, it's good to see you."

"You too." Reid smiled as Ethan patted him on the back.

"Let's get a drink." he said, grabbing him by the shoulder and leading him into a small jazz bar. They leaned against the mahogany bar top, standing side by side.

"So are you going to ask the question?" Ethan inquired, Reid furrowed his brow.

"What question?"

"We haven't talked to each other in years, and then you call me, ask the question." he said, popping a piece of bar trail mix into his mouth.

"Why did you quit after one day of FBI training?" Ethan smiled knowing thats exactly the question he was going to ask, he leaned over and picked up his scotch, swirling it in the glass.

"Well I'm sure you've considered the evidence, evaluated the signs, what's your theory."

"You were battling your own demons and didn't have the time to analyze someone else

s." Reid answered

"Very good, those days I did prefer Jack Daniels to Jeff Dalhmer." Ethan raised his glass as Spencer's phone rang in his pocket. He looked and saw that it was Emily and ignored it.

"Let me ask you this, do you ever regret it?"

"I may not be changing the world but my music makes me happy. It doesn't take a profiler to see that you're not." Ethan said making his way over to a pair of chairs, Reid followed.

"It's not easy. And I am happy, I have a girlfriend, but I can't believe some of the things I've seen." Ethan let out a loud laugh.

"You have a girlfriend! I can't believe that!" Spencer laughed sarcastically in response. He opened up his phone and showed him a picture of the two of them at the office that Garcia had taken. Caitlyn had her arms wrapped around his waist hugging him tightly and he had a large grin on his face.

"Wow, she's beautiful. But man… you look like hell."

"I'm fine." Reid countered.

"I'm a jazz musician in New Orleans I know what it looks like when someone's not well." Reid grabbed at his arm where he had been injecting himself, Ethan continued.

"This may be the one time I can tell you something that you don't already know, it might help you forget but it won't help it go away. And from what I can tell you're surrounded by some of the best minds in the world if you think they don't notice, well for a genius, that's just dumb." He took a sip of his scotch, "and that girl of yours, she definitely knows. Even if she doesn't say it. And it's probably hurting her more than it's hurting you."

xxx

Caitlyn boarded the plane last, Morgan and Prentiss sitting waiting as they were going to interview the fiance of the last victim.

"Where's Reid?" they asked.

"I called him ten times." Emily added. Caitlyn just shrugged her shoulders,

"We're gonna have to leave without him."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

When they finally got to the fiance, they didn't find anything unusual in the group of friends except that they would party with anybody. The friends didn't see anything and traveled in a pack. Until Morgan put two and two together. He used a lion and antelope analogy, both Caitlyn and Emily didn't understand at first.

"That's because neither of you have ever been the antelope. The lioness waits until one of the antelope break away from the pack and then she strikes." Morgan explained.

"So our un sub is a woman." Emily breathed. The un sub waited for the man to get away, this un sub was a woman and was luring men to their deaths. This would be the only thing to get a straight man away from his friends. Caitlyn, Emily and Morgan all made their way back to New Orleans and were looking over the case files when Reid came into the room.

"You guys are back." he stated.

"First flight this morning, where were you?" Morgan asked.

"Out with a friend I told you guys that." Caitlyn winced internally at his tone.

"I called you four times." Emily said sternly.

"I didn't have any cellphone reception so I didn't get your message until today."

They told Spencer that the unsub was a woman and then were interrupted by Hotch and the finding of another body. She was following Jack the Ripper's case to a T. When all of the agents dug further into the investigation they found out who the un sub was and that she was a victim of rape. They found her in a motel room about to kill another man. Caitlyn's heart raced as she ran up the stairs of the motel, gun in hand. This time Reid was along for the takedown and Caitlyn followed right behind him. They all held their guns up as she straddled the man, knife in her hand.

"He wanted it." she snarled.

"Drop the knife!" Caitlyn commanded.

"He got it."

"Put it down now." Caitlyn said.

"We don't want to shoot you." Morgan pleaded.

"We don't want to hurt you Sara." Hotch said quietly. William put his gun down and tried to talk her down and told her about his fathers death which brought her to tears and he was able to get the knife from his hands. All the agents lowered their guns as they took him into custody. Caitlyn looked over at Reid, who still was pale and shaking. She placed her hand in his and gave it a squeeze.

"I'm going to the hotel to get some sleep, I'm exhausted." she said.

"I'll meet you there."

Reid's Point of View

Reid sat in the same bar, listening to Ethan play. Wondering what his life would be like if he didn't join the BAU as Gideon sat down next to him.

"How'd you find me?" he asked.

"You're not all that hard to profile." Gideon responded, "Your friend is good." Reid nodded in agreement.

"I missed that plane on purpose," Reid admitted, looking over to his mentor, "I'm struggling."

"Well anyone whose been through what you've been through recently would." Gideon said with a sympathetic smirk that a father would have looking at his son.

"Before all of that happened I never even considered another option," Reid confessed.

"Are you questioning whether or not you're strong enough to be here?"

Reid nodded his head, trying to fight back tears, "Yeah."

"I have been playing at this job and trying to find another for almost thirty years, I've felt lost, I've felt great, I have felt scared, sick… insane. I don't know, I guess the day this job stops gnawing at your soul, your hands stop feeling cold, maybe that's the time to leave." Gideon lectured, Reid's eyes teared up.

"I guess I had to try and see if I could step away from this job…" he started.

"And?"

"I'll never miss another plane again." Reid concluded. Gideon smiled and took a sip of his drink, they listened to Ethan's jazz for a while before the young agent stood up.

"Where are you going?" Gideon asked.

"I have a girl to get to." Reid smiled, walking out and heading to the hotel room where Caitlyn was and taking the files of dilaudid and dropping them in the trash on his way out. Gideon smiled as he watched the young genius leave the bar,

"I don't know what's going to be worse, the drugs or that girl. Maybe I could be wrong. And… I'm talking to myself. Maybe I should start looking for a new job. I'm the crazy guy talking to himself in a jazz club." he mumbled leaving a tip for the bartender and heading out himself.

xxx

She was already almost half asleep laying on her side.

"Spencer?" she asked groggily, sitting somewhat up.

"Yeah it's me," he answered, and she slid back down with an exasperated sigh. Reid turned on the bathroom light to not shine her out and changed into pajamas and slid into the bed behind her, wrapping his arms around her and placing his head into the nape of her neck, breathing her in.

"Caitlyn," he whispered.

"Hmmm?" she responded sleepily.

"I'm struggling." he felt her hand wrap around his, and she let out a sigh of relief.

"I know, I've known the whole time." she confessed, he pulled her closer.

"I'm so sorry." he whispered, "I'll never keep anything from you again, or treat you like that you didn't deserve it." Caitlyn turned around in his arms burying her head in his chest.

"It's okay, you can beat this. I'm going to help get you through this." she promised, and Reid tried to fight back tears.

"Don't cry, there's nothing else for you to cry about. It's all going to get better from here, and if and when things do go wrong, I'm alway here and on your side. I told you I love you, and that I'm yours. And if you're mine that means I can't let anything happen to you if I can help it." He smiled and kissed her forehead and she yawned quietly, "Plus seeing you cry makes me cry and I'm trying to keep up my tough ex-swat persona, I don't want to look like total softy." Caitlyn joked and they both erupted into a fit of laughter. It was the first time they had genuinely laughed in weeks, Caitlyn finally yawned once more and pulled herself closer to him. He wrapped his arms as tightly as he could around her, wanting to remove every amount of space from between them and finally Reid slept easy for the first time in weeks.