Yuwen Zhuo looked down at the expense report that he was reading with a puzzled look on his face.
"Zhan Mou, can you explain this?" he asked his faithful guard and adviser.
To his surprise, his right-hand man actually started to chuckle.
"Why are you laughing? This great of an increase of expense for Qing Shan Yuan is no laughing matter. In fact, this is so important to me that I even assigned the Eyes of God to look into why we're suddenly spending so much more money."
"Forgive me, sir," Zhan Mou said, this time managing to contain his mirth. "Our men looked into the matter and discovered that these price increases all centered around a certain area of Qing Shan Yuan and that they began at a specific time."
"Well?" Yuwen Zhuo barked impatiently. "Who's responsible for this irresponsible use of Yuwen wealth?"
"Young Master Yue," Zhan Mou said, his mouth twitching.
"What?! How is that possible? Yue'er has always been a paragon of responsibility and virtue. Are you telling me that he's suddenly wasting money?"
"Not exactly, sir. The extra expenditures have mostly been for the repeated replacement of certain items in his room—especially bed sheets and hangings. As for when this increase started...actually, it started when he married Xing'er."
"Xing'er! I knew she was trouble from the moment I woke up from my coma! I should've sent her to Liang first thing!"
"But she makes Young Master Yue so happy."
"She makes Young Master Yue forget his responsibilities to his family, his country, the Eyes of God, everything! And now she's apparently influencing him to waste money! I'm going to have to have a talk with...never mind. Summon Yue Qi. Maybe he can give an accounting of his master's behavior."
Zhan Mou's mouth twitched again, but he did as he was told. With little delay, Yue Qi strode confidently into the room, clasping his hands in front of himself and giving the appropriate greetings.
"Ah! Yue Qi! This year's expense reports have come in and they report an increase in money spent on replacing furnishings in Young Master Yue's rooms. Can you explain why?"
Yue Qi's face didn't change expression, but Yuwen Zhuo still detected a slight twinkle entering his eyes.
"Master has always been concerned about Xing'er's welfare, so he continues to train her in kungfu. They frequently spar in their bedroom and sometimes the training sessions get a little...out of hand."
What sounded like a snort came from Zhan Mou, but he followed it with a couple of coughs, so Yuwen Zhuo figured that his adviser had just gotten something in his throat.
"Explain."
"Well...Master has taught Xing'er than anything and everything can be a weapon, so they sometimes fight using everyday items."
"Like bed sheets and bed hangings."
Another snort-cough sounded behind him and the twinkle in Yue Qi's eyes increased.
"Exactly."
"Well, I suppose that could explain the need for a new large incense-burner," he mused, looking down at the list of items that Yue'er had replaced over the past year, "but what about the desk?"
Zhan Mou collapsed in a fit of deep, hacking coughs that sounded suspiciously like laughter. Yue Qi's lips twitched, but he otherwise remained as unflappable as ever.
"More training, sir," Yue Qi explained. "Master takes Xing'er's training very, very seriously."
"What could he have been teaching her that would have required the...use...of...his..."
His eyes widened in comprehension as the truth finally dawned on him.
"Zhan Mou! Take me to Yue'er now! I'm going to have a talk with him about upholding the family's honor and displaying the proper amount of decorum befitting the inheritor of the Eyes of God."
Yuwen Zhuo noticed the amused glance that his adviser and Yue Qi shared, but he had more important things on his mind. As Zhan Mou wheeled him towards Yue'er's rooms, he noticed that the guards all had concerned looks on their faces.
"What's going on?" he asked one of the guards who was standing outside of Yue'er's doors.
The guard clasped his hands, bowed his head, and replied, "Master and Xing'er are inside being taken care of by a doctor."
"A doctor? What's wrong? Is it Yue'er's typhoid? Is it..."
His eyes darkened as a possibility flitted through his mind.
"That's it! Open the doors at once and take me inside! They've gone too far this time! Paying for new bedclothes as a result of rough...training...is one thing, but doctor's visits..."
"Trouble is coming! Trouble is coming! Trouble is coming!"
Yue'er's parrot interrupted his tirade and somewhat ruined his entrance, but in typical Yuwen fashion, he soldiered on.
Xing'er was stretched out on the bed, looking blissfully peaceful. Yue'er was seated on the bed, looking exceedingly pleased with himself. The doctor was clearly preparing to leave and didn't seem at all concerned.
His grandson clasped one of Xing'er's hands in his own, and she looked up at him with that mischievously innocent expression that he knew had captivated him years ago. The look of raw adoration on Yue'er's face made Yuwen Zhuo's anger dissipate completely.
"Could someone please tell me what's going on here?" he asked the room at large.
"Pregnant! Pregnant! Master's fault! Master's fault!" the Cangwu bird answered.
Zhan Mou dissolved into booming peals of laughter. Yue Qi smiled beatifically. Yuwen Zhuo placed his head in his hands.
"When I dropped that stick and predicted that doing so meant woe for the Yuwen family, I never imagined that the foreseen trouble would be like this."
Without another word, he signaled for the still-chortling Zhan Mou to wheel him back to peace and solitude with as much dignity as he could muster. After all, he had bills to pay.