A/N First of all I need to thank my pre-reader who has become my beta. I somehow lost the one I did have. I have no clue what is going on except that she must be extremely busy as I have not heard from her so one of my pre-readers has taken her place until she either tells me she's not doing my chapters any more, or she comes back. My beta is OoJasper'sAngeloO and a huge thanks goes to her for helping to make this chapter even better. Also a huge thanks to my other pre-reader sinfulroad69. Her help is greatly needed at times. This chapter, Bella shows her heart to Jasper, and tells him like it is. Hope you enjoy it.

I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

Bella's POV

After Jasper was done speaking to Rose I saw him slip out the door. I really needed to speak to him alone. I needed him to understand what I was feeling. While I knew that because of the plan, neither of us needed to worry about the timing of trying to get pregnant, I also knew that the sooner the child was created, the sooner the fucking Volturi monsters could be stopped.

It seems like everything has been against both Jasper and I ever since our wedding. If you could even call it that. I needed to try to get past the memory of seeing Jasper with another female. While I knew that it wasn't his choice, the pain from seeing him kissing her, was still there.

I decided to wait a few minutes before going to find Jasper. I noticed Rose talking to everyone and decided to ask her if she knew where Jasper had gone. I didn't want to go outside if he was going to hunt.

When I walked up to them, it was Emmett who spoke up first, "Hey Bella, we are thinking about going out tomorrow night. It's going to be Rose, Alice, Char, and us guys. You want to join us, with Jasper of course?"

"We're going to a club where they have dancing, and drinking. Don't worry, we have an ID for you that shows you are twenty-one." Emmett continued.

I have no idea what the hell he's talking about and told him as much. I don't know what a club is, and why in the fuck would I need to be twenty-one to drink? I drink here all the time, and no one has ever bothered about my age before. I even drank a few times when I went to a restaurant.

I could see that they were trying not to laugh at me. It was Rose who spoke up, "Bella, when Emmett said drinking, he meant drink alcohol."

I gave her a strange look. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to drink something that was used to sterilize, and clean wounds, as well as sterilize things before being used on the body, like needles. This conversation was beginning to get more and more weird.

When I asked Rose why anyone would want to drink something like that, they all busted up laughing. They tried not to, but apparently something I said was really funny to them. I was becoming frustrated as I seem to have missed the joke.

Carlisle was the one who finally explained that the alcohol they were talking about was totally different than the one that I know of. I understood until he said that a lot of humans drank it to get drunk. What in the fuck is drunk? So I asked.

"How about this, you just agree to go with us, and you can watch some of the humans get drunk and you'll see what it is. Of course, we can't get drunk because the alcohol tastes like shit to us." Peter explained.

Rose then whispered that it would be a chance for me to get dressed up in a sexy dress, just for Jasper. I decided that it sounded like fun. Not the dressing up, but the dancing, and watching drunk humans. First though I really needed to talk to Jasper. I agreed to go and then asked Rose if she knew where Jasper had gone.

She then explained to me about how King had gotten blood, my blood, on his nose and then came to get them to follow him as he led them to where I was. She also told me that he had killed the huge mountain lion that had attacked me.

No one had really seen to him since I had been found, so Jasper had gone out to clean him up, check for injuries, and make sure he was fed. I hadn't realized just how much King had done for me, so now I needed to see him as well. I couldn't believe that he had killed to save my life.

I told them I was going out to the stables and that I needed to speak to Jasper alone. Rose stopped me and said, "Bella, I know that what you saw hurt you, but the guilt is going to eat him up. Please forgive him and let him know he still has a chance." She had venom in her eyes and I told her that while there was nothing to forgive him for, I still felt the pain and would need time to heal.

I also told her that I planned on being honest with him. He deserved that much from me. I then told her that after our talk, I would ask him to be my date for going to the club. She beamed when I told her, because she understood where I was coming from and I just had to smile back at her.

Alice came up then and said that we would have to go shopping for the perfect dress. Rose then chimed in and said that she knew exactly how to fix my hair, and how I should dress. Alice agreed with Rose and then Rose told me that she knew, without having Alice's gift, that if I got dressed up like we were talking about that it would drive Jasper crazy. Unfortunately, for him there was a very small part of me that wanted to do just that.

After finally agreeing to going early in the morning to find an outfit, I went out to find Jasper. Rose promised to keep the family away so that we could have some privacy. I told her that I would put my shield up to make it more private. I already knew what I needed to say to Jasper, and while I hated it, I just couldn't see any way around it. This was going to hurt.

I made sure to stay as silent as I could. I put my shield up because I wanted to see if he was talking to King. I was right because he was doing just that. He was berating himself over something that had to do with King. I listened as the conversation, if you could call it that, changed.

"What am I going to do King? It's killin' me that I did what I did, even though I know it wasn't my fault. I love her so fuckin' much. I just hope that I can make it up to her, even though there's no fuckin' way to make up for something like that. I don't even know if she loves me, she won't let me feel her emotions. I think she does, but she still hasn't looked at me like I've seen her look at you, with love. I bet you think I'm pretty stupid for a vampire, talkin' to you, a horse, about my feelin's."

I decided to interrupt, "Jasper are you out here?"

I heard Jasper tell me where he was and I dropped my shield enough so he couldn't feel me. I would raise it again over the both of us so we could talk privately. Once inside of the stable I couldn't hold in the gasp that I let out upon seeing what Jasper was doing.

He was wrapping one of King's legs. I asked him what happened and he said that apparently when King attacked the cat he didn't go without suffering an injury himself. There was a huge slash all the way down his leg. The cat managed to claw him before being killed. His beauty would forever be marred now by his heroic act of saving my life. This was my fault. If I had not tried to take him into the area he knew was dangerous because of the cat, he would still be unharmed.

I could no longer hold everything in. I was tired, angry, hurt, and hated that the only thing my life meant was a means of entertainment for sick bastards. I just broke down, and started sobbing. I just couldn't hold it in any more.

I knew Jasper wanted to calm me down, but I let him know not to. I needed to get this out, and the worst part was that I knew that what I had to say would only bring more pain to both of us. But, I needed to heal, emotionally at least.

I finally calmed down and realized that King was trying to nuzzle Jasper who would have been crying if he could have. He had his face in his hands and I could tell by the way his shoulders were shaking that he was sobbing as well.

I knew the emotions were his own and not mine, as I still had my shield up enough to keep him from feeling mine. I waited until his own sobs slowed down, and then asked Jasper if it was alright if I talked to him. He nodded, but then asked me a question that I wasn't sure I could or even should answer.

"Can I ask, why did you come up to the room? You knew that I was going to come down and meet you. Was it because of something you saw, or heard? Or had I been gone so long that you came to see what was holding me up?" he whispered.

I sighed and decided that now was the time for him to hear the truth, all of it, "It wasn't for any of those reasons. I made a decision earlier, before we planned the ride. I had also decided to tell you that evening in private, but then I got so excited I just didn't want to wait. There were two reasons for me to come up to the room that afternoon."

I hesitated, because I knew this was going to hurt and I didn't really want to do that. After a minute of silence he said, "Well, are you goin' to tell me?"

Again I sighed, "I came up to tell you that I had realized that I had fallen in love with you. At first I was going to let you know that night that I wanted us to be together,but like I said I got so fucking excited and started thinking about the fact that you were taking a shower. And. .Well. .I started thinking that maybe since you were well, already naked that well, maybe we could you know. . . I'm not doing this very well right now, am I? Oh fuck this, I was kind of hoping that if I told you while you were either in the shower or just having gotten out that maybe we could make love. In other words, I was ready."

He had been standing but when I finished, he fell to his knees and doubled over. I went over to him and pulled him up until his head was level with my stomach and then pulled him to me. I started to run my fingers through his hair. A minute later he told he, "I'm so fuckin' sorry. I hate myself right now. What can I do? Do I even have a chance any more, or have I destroyed everything?"

"Jasper, I need you to look at me." He just shook his head no.

I pulled his face up so that I could look into his eyes. I was crying, I knew that this would cause more pain but I couldn't see any other way, "Jasper, I love you, but right now I just can't be with you. I forgive you yes, but I need to heal. Every time I look at you, I see you kissing her. When I close my eyes, I hear you moaning in pleasure that she was giving you, whether it was real or not. I can't really tell you what I need in order to heal. Maybe, we should think about going away somewhere, alone, just you and I. Maybe I just need a new beginning with you. Just try to be patient with me. I'm not saying never, just not now. Do you understand?"

"I promise to think about what you said. I'll talk to the family. We'll be moving anyway. We'll have to appear to be mourning your death, and this place will hold too many memories. Maybe we could go off on our own for a week, a month, or however long it will take for you to heal." He told me.

"Thank you for caring enough to give me time. Now, on to lighter subjects. Em has asked me to join everyone tomorrow night. They want to take me to something called a club, and let me dance and drink. Even though I still can't understand why any one would want to drink alcohol, I promised Em I'd think about it. Would you want to be my date?"

"You would want me to be your date? I thought that looking at me brought you too many bad memories."

"Its not just looking at you. Its hard for me to explain. Its like every time I think of kissing you, or doing other things that I see her and you. That's why I think we need a new beginning, and I'm lost to figure out how to do that. Maybe you can come up with something."

He promised that he would and said that he already had a surprise for me and going to the club would work in favor of it. I asked him if he was ready to go back inside and he said he needed to finish dressing King's injury. He told me that he would speak to Carlisle about maybe checking out the injury to see if maybe he would need stitches.

I comforted King while Jasper worked to cover the injury. My heart hurt for this magnificent horse, that had been given the title of the world's most beautiful horse, was now scarred because of me. Now, he was more like Jasper. He was still magnificent, but he had a scar that showed not only his bravery, but his loyalty.

Yet, it was my stupidity that caused him this injury. He only seemed to be grateful that I was still here. He kept nuzzling me, and I believe he was trying to tell me he didn't blame me and that he would do it over again to save my life.

I watched Jasper as he worked. I could tell by the way he was moving that he was in pain. Yet, he concealed it well. In his face was concern for another creature that couldn't be hidden. I felt the love I had for him grow, because I could see how badly everything had affected him. I just wish I knew how I could get past all of the fucking shit that has happened.

Jasper's POV

At least now I was pretty sure that my idea would work, and it would fall right into Bella's idea about having a new beginning. Of course she could still say no, but being a bettin' man I was willin' to bet that she would go for it. I still had a couple of things I needed to do for it to be perfect but I could do one while she was shopping with the girls.

The other thing would have to wait until she was asleep and i had shown the family. I needed Edward's help as well, but didn't want Bella to know anything about it. I couldn't help but be excited and wanted to see the look on her face when I gave her the surprise.

When she finally went to bed and was asleep, it was Rose who barreled into me asking about what I had come up with. I showed it to her and her smile let me know that she felt it would help Bella heal. Edward did his part, and it came out to be perfect, at least as far as I was concerned.

Bella had a nightmare during the night, and actually asked me to stay with her to help keep the nightmares away. She made me lay down with her, and while I wasn't allowed to kiss her, I was able to at least hold her. Unfortunately, it only made the pain worse.

I was able to get the other things I needed while they were out shopping. I was starting to get nervous, and was driving Peter crazy with the what ifs. He finally had to hit me upside my head, and told me to stop with the mojo shit or he was going to be ripping something off.

I also had a feeling that Peter and Emmett were up to something. They kept their heads together a lot throughout the day, whispering. I really didn't have time for their fucking shit today as I had a couple of phone calls to make, and more plans to get done. I wanted everything to be perfect for her.

I also had information that I would need in order to be able to do this. I hoped that the phone call would have been able to give me what I needed to know, and it did, but I had to wait until the information was verified, so it took a little longer than I thought it would. At least now I could go ahead and start the ball rolling so to speak.

I thought I was doing pretty good until Peter had to hit me again. Apparently, I had started projecting again. I have to admit, my nerves were starting to wear on me. Even Peter had to go and start making fucking comments about me being nervous.

One thing that was causing me to be nervous was the fact that I could feel the mischievousness coming off of both Em and Peter. I have a feeling that whatever they are planning, won't be good. Every single fucking time those two got together, and made plans it wasn't good, and they have been arrested for some of their shit. Yeah, I have a feeling that tonight is going to be a very fucking long night. ..

A/N Please let me know you're thoughts. Any ideas as to what Jasper's plan is, or Peter and Em's? Next chapter we see what Jasper's plan is, as well as Peter's and Em's. There will be fun, a little romance, and maybe a mini lemon, maybe. Thanks to all who reviewed, added this story to their favorites, and alerts. I know I haven't been replying to reviews but its only because I have very little time to write, so I have to choose whether to write or review. I read every one of them and they make me want to write faster for you guys.