Memories
Demons and Dragons
Disclaimer: What do you think?
If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.
She closed her eyes as she stood in the ruins. The black stone was gradually being covered with plants. She considered for a while before only trimming away enough for the name to be read. Somehow she felt Etana would rather be a part of nature than a way of keeping it away. The last couple of snowdrops drooped sullenly as they slowly died. The once gleaming metal helmet that had arrived one night now was overgrown with ivy and lay in state, its empty eye sockets staring up at Tora. She'd never seen Etana wear the helmet but she could see the silver eyes staring out of it all too clearly.
"Hey 'Tana."
She smiled, knowing there would be no answer.
"Well I hope you know how hopelessly lost we all are without you. Life would be a lot easier if you were here. I wouldn't have to pay a fortune in childcare costs for one. You know, you've just had a son. Steve Logan Rogers, who only knows his mother and his batty aunt because you're so afraid Cap's enemies will come after him. And yes, I am the batty aunt."
Her fingers dug into the earth.
"Well, I reckon you'd be a gift from heaven in San Francisco. We're all wandering around like little lost children. You'd be a joy to have there. I don't think Scott would be leader for long, as you'd be so efficient that everyone would automatically turn to you for assistance."
Tora leant back, so she lay as Etana did, wondering vaguely about how long it would take for her feathers to decompose.
"I miss you. So much. It's not enough to see you in other realities. I want you here, to laugh at me, get to know Eva and Curt. Jamie knows you well enough but those two will never know you except as we tell the stories. And we can talk about you but how can they know about all the things you were that we can never tell them about. Words don't describe how funny, kind, proud, honourable, unique and…well Etanaish you were."
She laughed.
"And I've just completely and utterly failed to describe you. But then you'd need to be Shakespeare to describe you right, and even he made a mess of it. The Indescribable."
She sighed.
"You just died in 295. It was horrible. You saved me from Apocalypse when I was just a teenager, gave me a name, introduced me to Magneto and the X-Men and…well, gave me a real push in the right direction when it came to Kurt and although you got mad with Erik for killing Apocalypse when you wanted, and deserved, to be the one to kill him, what is it with him by the way that means he's obsessed with you?, and well, kept everything nice and neat and tidy and held us all together when Logan's team just disappeared and now you're dead. It wasn't pretty. I couldn't do anything as you deliberately shot the bomb to destroy yourself and the alien that was growing out of you. You knew you were dying and called me 'daughter' just before you killed yourself. Told me that Kurt was a good man and deserved me. And me being stupid, I didn't get it until he stayed up all night so I could cry. Oh, dammit. I'm crying like a little abandoned orphan…"
A low bamf and Tora dissolved into helpless, giggling tears.
"Oh boy… 295 was how she found out about X-Force, wasn't it?"
"295 was where she loved X-Force."
"Oh… Is that why there were two Tora's running around the school?"
"Pretty much."
Kurt's steps calmed her.
"Are you alright Tora?"
She nodded slightly, remaining kneeling on the stone floor.
"You've been in here for six hours."
"I…I need time to think… Here is…quiet. Calm. Everything I need."
"Why kneel?"
"It's a chapel Kurt. One should show respect."
"Kneeling for six hours is a little over the top, even for me."
She shrugged but didn't get up.
"What are you doing?"
"Remembering the dead."
"It's taken you this long?"
"There are a lot of dead."
"Is this a Dragon thing?"
"No. This is a Tora thing."
"Tell me."
She stood up and sat beside him.
"I remember everyone who any Tora knew who died. Lots of Etanas, quite a few Jeans, Logans and Charleses. Far too many Kurts."
"Tell me."
"Last night I had to watch you shot down in front of me and our –don't get any funny ideas about this Kurt –kids, just because you were a mutant. Our eldest, Anya, was also killed because she looked like you. And I couldn't do anything because of Stephan and Sal. And that's just so stupid and hopeless."
He wrapped his arms around her, cradling her slightly, knowing that this was something quite possibly unique, seeing a time when she was vulnerable and scared.
"I am here Tora. I will always be here."
"I know Kurt. I know."
"A demon and a dragon. How sweet."
Death suddenly found herself hanging over the pool, the ice mask an inch from her face.
"Kurt Wagner deserved better than what he was dealt with by life."
"And that is why I was the greatest thing that ever happened to him. You think he was happy on Earth? Death levels all men to their actions and his placed him higher than any other."
She teetered on the edge, seriously considering it. She wanted to know what it felt like, to be without support for the time taken to fall. Based on the height of the building and considering drag as negligible it would take five seconds to hit the ground. She wasn't afraid of falling. It was landing that hurt. Her hair swept around her. She thought of Etana, who had died flying. Who in another world hid in the mountains to keep a child safe. The wind was biting and cold. San Francisco stretched out beneath her. She reached out a hand and lined it up with the bridge. The claws shot out and she stared at the blood trickling over her hand.
Since the mental crisis, she'd been…different. Started slipping. Had trouble holding onto this reality. And an obsession with pain. Only her own. She wanted to know how far she could go without screaming, without flinching, without crying out. She didn't blink as grit hit her eyes. She was Dragon. And she was lonely but the others all intruded and she never had peace. Always others wanting reassurance, wanting comfort, wanting to know 'what do I do when [insert problem here]'. She prepared to step forward, knowing there wasn't anyone underneath her. Just to fall. Not to be held up by anything. And she leant forward, about to topple. A hand grabbed her arm and she was pulled back from the brink by brother-friend-Pack-priest-lover-close-confident-special Kurt and she had to stop thinking like that, slipping through realities so fast she wasn't even aware of it.
"Tora, is something wrong?"
"I'm just…stretched so thin Kurt. Like elastic about to snap. I don't know what I am anymore. Am I Tora? Am I Xii? Am I Dragon? Am I something more? Am I all those things?"
She collapsed down onto her knees and shuddered. Soft hands cradled her head and then she was being rocked back and forth, held close to a chest that smelt of brimstone-lemon-happy-right-home.
"You are you Tora. Nothing more, nothing less. Something unique and special."
She clung to him like a drowning sailor clings to a rock.
"Promise you'll stay Kurt. Promise you won't leave me. I need you. I need you as much as I need Logan. Everyone needs their hero Kurt. I need you to be there for me. I need Kurt Wagner."
"I can't promise that Tora. I can promise this though. As long as I am alive, you will always have a friend."
She smiled weakly.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being you Kurt."
They weren't certain how long they sat on the top of the building for, a demon man and a lost woman, just saying a great deal without opening their mouths.
"You can measure a man by their friends."
"Says someone who has never truly been human."
"I cannot count myself as human yet you two still do, despite having left humanity behind millennia ago."
"Humanity cannot be taken Death. It can't…"
A.N. Basically I was reading Second Coming and Wolverine: Weapon X #16 and crying my eyes out. WHY MARVEL, WHY? I loved the fuzzy elf… And came second in a reading competition after reading from the aforementioned Wolverine comic. (I was supposed to do Jane Eyre but my partner dropped out, leaving me to try and find a monologue in three days). But why kill Nightcrawler, who was the sweetest, most inoffensive, fuzzy, elfy hero of them all? ARGHH! Now I want to get a job at Marvel, just to bring him back. They brought Cap back, they brought Jean back (multiple times), they're bringing Thor and Cable back. I DEMAND THEY BRING NIGHTCRAWLER BACK RIGHT NOW! Right, fangirl rant over.