So, I've kinda always wanted to say this, especially since grade ten physics…
May the mass times acceleration be with you ;-P
Every day, for two weeks, I wait for my bones to grow. I know it will be painful, but nothing ever changes or becomes better without a little (or maybe a lot of) pain.
I am very grateful for these two weeks of rest.
Hanji, Nanaba and I work on my rehabilitation. Hanji has me do all sort of muscle exercises which often leaves me achy and grouchy ; but, inevitably, I fall asleep faster at night. Nanaba helps me through the mental pain, the nightmare and coming to terms with the fact that I am no longer Eren Jeager, the human firefighter, but instead Eren Jeager, the angel.
Petra and Gunther come to see me every day, often with helpful hints and kind smiles. Eld and Oluo come and check in at random intervals which usually end up in bouts of random laughter.
As quickly as my two weeks of rest had arrived, it left. I remember the first night, when my bones shifted for the first time. Levi and I were sitting on the couch, okay, he was sitting and I was lying with my head in his lap. He was holding a book in one hand and playing with my hair with the other; I was dozing off and humming at the contact, because Levi had been too scared to touch me before then.
That was when I felt, rather than heard, the bones in my back shift. I shrieked and arched my back off the couch; Levi had such a fright that he leapt from the couch, over the coffee table, spun around to face me while his book lay forgotten on the floor.
He looks so worried… Fuck, I mustn't scream. Do it for Levi, do it so that he doesn't have to keep apologising. It fucking hurts!
I clench my jaw, refusing to scream as my back arches off the couch again. This time I hear a crccck from my shoulder and I try not to cry, but the tears are already burning my eyes and I struggle to think straight.
After what feels like hours, which in reality was only fifteen minutes, my body goes limp. Levi takes that opportunity to carry me to his-our bed. This time though, he huffs a little as if struggling to carry me.
No sooner did he set me down than another wave of bone crackling hit and I moan because I refuse to scream but it hurt too much to be silent. Levi cradles my head, holding it against his chest for the rest of the evening. Neither of us sleep much. The pain comes and goes in waves. It is so intense that at one point I actually faint.
Levi says that I moan and cry in my unconscious state. He also says that I mumbled his name over and over, but I don't actually remember.
When I feel well enough, I go train my muscles with Hanji. Yes, my bones shift, grow or stretch to breaking point and it hurts like hell, but I'm tired of lying in my bed all the time. Especially with Levi hovering over me. All. The. Time. So when an episode hits, be it my arms, my back or my legs, I grab on to something and stay absolutely still until it passes.
I have to say I have gotten pretty good at not screaming. Yes, I cuss under my breath and I cry a little, but at least Levi doesn't have to hear me scream in pain. I think it hurts him more than anything else.
Well, I thought I was pretty good at holding back my screams. That was until I felt something sticky and warm dripping down my back and I was hit with the worst pain so far.
It is so humiliating that it had to happen in the café, in front of half the population of the Tower and my scream was so loud that it actually shattered glass.