Memories
Deadened Soul
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"Dammit Scott! I should be going with Kurt and Hope!"
No Tora. Rogue can go with Hope. Anymore and Kurt won't be able to cope.
She snarled and walked over to Logan and Laura.
"You have a lot of explaining to do."
"I know."
She sighed.
"Fresh uniform?"
"What? Oh… yeah. Naked."
She stopped.
"I'm just going to see Kurt."
She walked over and rested her hand on his shoulder.
"Stay safe Kurt. I would give you a boost but I don't know what Dragon power would do to you."
"Don't worry Tora. I'll be fine."
"Don't do anything stupid, okay?"
He laughed.
"I'm never stupid Tora. Didn't you know that?"
"Yeah."
"Oh… About Etana… Tora…"
She stared at him.
"You were right Tora. You were right. I'll tell you more when you get back."
She nodded and pressed a hand to his arm.
"Save your energy for 'porting. Leave protecting Hope to Rogue. I want to come with you, but Scott's right. She's the best choice right now."
"I would be equally happy with either of you by my side. Neither of you would allow any harm to come to Hope."
She leant over and kissed him on the cheek.
"Goodbye Kurt. I'll see you on Utopia and you can tell me all about Etana."
He grinned and walked over to Rogue and Hope. A bamf and they were gone. Tora sighed.
"À bientôt, mon ami."
Logan grinned.
"Looks like we've drawn decoy duty. Anyone know any really short prayers?"
Tora smiled.
"Oh One-Above-All, please do your best to allow us all to live, ta very much from your dear child Dragon. That do?"
"Short, to the point and highly personal. Let's hope he likes you."
"He likes everybody! It's sort of part of the job description!"
"Yes well, I don't think Logan knew that."
Kurt burst into existence and screamed as he felt the arm pierce his chest. He saw Hope whispering 'please please please…', heard Rogue say his name, and then he saw Her. She was a being of fire, an angel. And he began to pray.
"Ht…hh…O…O Luh-Lord…in this…time of need…st-strengthen me…"
And She smiled and as he teleported She filled him with her power, the power of the promise of the peace that was to come, allowing him to reach Utopia. And She tilted her head towards Hope and he knew what to say.
"Huhh…wuh…worth it… I…I believe in you."
He reached towards the silver fire that made Her up and She took his hand and pulled him up.
Well done little one.
Were you really an angel, all this time?
She smiled and he could see Her old face, her human face in the fire, the face he knew and trusted. And he had a question to ask her.
Why me?
I am the Malach Hamavet. I come for those who accept me as a part of life, for those who sacrifice all for others. And I come for you because you are Kurt Wagner and you deserve an explanation.
Where do I go now?
Two options. I can take you to a realm of the dead, where there is a chance of resurrection or I can take you to the true afterlife, where you cannot return from but would never want to leave.
He stared at her and she smiled.
I am an Angel of Death. One of many. I represent those who accept death, who do not fear me, who give up their lives for the good of others. I think you come under all three headings.
No. Why did you come in person for me?
She leant towards him and the flames flickered until it was quite obvious she was trying to appear as she used to look, to make it easier for him.
Because you came into the world in my arms and it only seems fitting you should leave it in them as well.
I have made my choice. And I believe you already know it.
And she laughed, a beautiful sound, the sound of Heaven calling and he grasped her hand as she spread her fiery wings and flew with him.
"She was a good servant. She never failed to do her duty."
"I know. Although I counted her a friend."
She pushed her way through the crowds and then fell at his side.
"NO! NO! KURT!"
She pressed her hands to his chest and the waves caused the arm to crumble away and then the wound healed and she screamed again.
"WAKE UP YOU! WAKE UP! I NEED YOU KURT! WAKE UP!"
She collapsed onto his chest and pummelled him.
"Wake up…"
No one was sure what to do.
"Please…"
"I'm sorry."
Laura's hand was brushed away as Tora sat up and then gently closed his eyes as someone else spoke.
"Bring him back. Bring him back!"
And as Hope ran off, Tora pulled the body of the person she could never find a label for because he was so precious close to her and whispered in his ear.
"You told me you would always be there for me… Come back to me Kurt. Come back to me…"
She couldn't cry. How could tears ever bring him back? She was so empty she didn't even have tears to cry. And then a soft voice.
"Uncle Kurt?"
The four-year-old stuck his head around Warren's legs.
"Maman? Bring Uncle Kurt back. Please…"
She didn't answer, merely rocked him back and forth, whispering words into his pointed ear as Logan swept up Jamie and pressed his son's face into his chest so he wouldn't have to see Kurt's sprawled-out body. And no one was quite sure how to approach Tora as she cried.
"I…I…I… He said… He…promised he… he said he'd talk to me later…"
And finally a tall man with stained orange skin crouched down and helped her up, half-carrying her to the Med-Bay.
"Xixy… What's wrong with Tora?"
"She is in… there isn't a word… Mrrlsta. She has lost her Makrrrst."
"What?"
"It… It is like… Like platonic marriage… They bind their...Maniaska... their souls together… They fight together. They share their darkest fears… And when one dies, the other is sure to follow soon."
It had always seemed like there was no word for the closely bound relationship between Tora and Kurt. Sometimes newbies would think they were linked romantically, but there was never anything like that between them. Their older friends could all see that. The most anyone got was 'Look, Tora and Kurt? It's like they're on the same wavelength and no one else can get on it. Don't even try to suggest it.' Etana had summed it up in two words 'platonic soulmates'. But even that wasn't close. And Xixy had used a K'Meeri word that seemed to sum it up. Makrrrst. And the last bit sunk in.
When one dies, the other is sure to follow soon.
Tora was cradling her legs up to her chest as she started to gasp, unable to breathe properly.
"My friend… My friend… Mon ami… Mein Freund… Ter Makrrrst…"
She stiffened then turned.
"Is it true Xix? Was Kurt my Makrrrst?"
"I know you never made the Makrese but I think you are."
She stared at her hands.
"Then I am a dead woman."
"Tora, explain this… Makerst? to us."
"The Makrrrst is a bond of souls. They are tied together most often in a ceremony called the Makrese. Most K'Meer would hate to be so reliant on another, so it's quite rare. But every now and again, it happens naturally. And those are the strongest bonds. Sometimes there is romantic attraction, most times they just become so… so attuned to one another that they need the other to be entirely... well, alive. They need the other to live. They become the other's soul and their soul is their Makrrst. And when one of the pair dies, the other almost certainly follows. You no longer have a soul. You are alive in body and mind but you have no wish to live. You just…give up… When was the last natural Makrese?"
Xixy frowned.
"About seven thousand years ago. Your years. Not standard galactic years."
"Has anyone survived?"
"Twice. Both were created Makrrrsts and one wasn't done properly. The other, the two K'Meer had been at opposite sides of the Empire for three-hundred and sixty-one years."
Tora looked at her hands.
"Why? What is the point of his death? He… I…"
And she pulled herself tighter into the ball and turned away, whispering to herself and to her dead soul.
"The beginning of her degeneration. So sad to see a woman such as that spiral into her own loss and hate, it was so sad."
"It took a great deal to persuade her soul to return to her. I had to explain it all in very great detail to him, and he only agreed to return when she went…er…"
"You can say it. She went insane. Again. And then she decided to destroy the universe, by making everything happen at once."