I have worked very hard on book one of this series. I really hope you enjoy it! I've actually finished the first book, I've written it all down in notebooks, I just have to type it. I apologize deeply in advance for any mistakes. I've added several OCs to this story as well. The OCs in the chapter are: Orphan(main), Koji(minor), Lettuce/Retasu(minor), Sharky(minor). The characters that belong to Masashi Kishimoto respectively are in fact mostly OOC, meaning Out Of Character
Year Two: Birthdays Everywhere!
Orphan took out her big red marker and marked off the day. It was January twenty-sixth, two weeks before Tobi's had already planned out what she was going to get him.
Orphan walked to the living room and sat next to Zetsu, who was eating bacon.
When Orphan realized who she was sitting next to, she quickly got off the sofa and ran to the kitchen.
Orphan dragged a stool to a counter, climbed up it, got on the counter, and raised her fists in victory.
Then she padded over to a cupboard the read: DO NOT OPEN!
Orphan pulled on the handle and the door didn't budge.
Orphan had encountered many doors like this but she needed to hurry. Who knew who'd be coming into the kitchen?
And when?
Orphan did her special little trick and got the door open. It opened to a stash of snacks.
Lots and lots of snacks that belonged to only one person.
Orphan walked down the counter to a different cupboard and got a plate.
She went back to the Snack Stash cupboard and grabbed some chips, two cupcakes, some pretzels, and some rice cakes.
She closed the cupboard, which sealed immediately, hopped down to the floor, set her plate down, put the stool back, and walked to the fridge.
There, she got herself an apple juice juice-box and some lettuce, which she put on her plate.
Orphan bent down and opened a cabinet by the fridge and pulled out a small bag of puppy food. She poured the food into Lettuce's bowl and called him.
Lettuce padded over and started eating. He had on an Akatsuki patterned bandanna.
Orphan went back to the living room and Zetsu was still sitting on the sofa, so she sat on the couch to eat.
Orphan heard someone go into the kitchen.
"Hey, where are my cupcakes?!"
Orphan giggled and stuffed the two cupcakes she stole into her mouth, one at a time as to not choke.
Unfortunately, she stuffed them messily.
Zetsu looked at her, then held up a random mirror.
Orphan's eyes got wide when she saw the 'evidence' on her face.
She jumped up from the couch and ran upstairs to the bathroom.
But much to her dismay, Hidan was in there looking for the iodine.
"Oh, hi Uncle Hidan." Orphan said, slipping into the bathroom. "Just here to wash my face..."
"Yea yea, okay..." Hidan murmured. "Now where is that fucking iodine?!"
Orphan got her dark blue wash rag and successfully washed all the 'evidence' off her face.
Just then, Itachi entered the bathroom.
"Hey, Hidan, let me see your hands." He said.
Hidan held up his hand, which were surprisingly clean considering he'd just gotten done with a ritual.
"Okay, it's not you." "What's not me?" Hidan asked, continuing his search for the iodine.
"Well, I put a jutsu on my cupboard door so anyone who opened it that wasn't me would get a mark on their hand." Itachi explain.
Orphan panicked. She looked down at her left hand.
She SWORE she saw a mark that looked like a cupcake. Orphan immediately hid her hand behind her back.
"What about you Orphan? May I see your hands?" Itachi asked.
Orphan hesitated, then hung her head and held up her left hand.
"Okay, not you." Itachi stated.
Orphan was shocked.
"Oh, Hidan, you might be looking for this." Itachi tossed the bottle of iodine at him. "It was on the kitchen counter."
"Hey, thanks!"
Itachi left.
Orphan got out of her daze and got ready to leave the bathroom, but Hidan stopped her. He stood up.
"Hey. I forgive you for breaking into my snack stash."
He winked, and patted her on the head. Then he left as well.
Orphan stood there, not knowing what to do.
Turns out she imagined the mark on her hand out of panic and guilt.
She shrugged and left the bathroom.
Orphan went to the dining room and asked where Lettuce was.
"Sempai let him out." Tobi answered.
Everyone looked at Deidara.
"Deidara, Lettuce isn't trained to stay in the yard!" Pein yelled.
Everyone got into their lightweight jackets and went outside.
Sure enough, Lettuce was gone.
The Akatsuki searched everywhere for him, but all they found was his bandanna snagged on a bush brach and his collar in the snow.
A week later, Lettuce was still missing, and Orphan was grounded.
Even though Hidan had forgiven her, Konan grounded her for stealing, until she said otherwise.
Konan had taken Orphan into town so she could buy Tobi's present.
While they were walking, they saw a boy walking a very familiar looking puppy.
They looked closer, and yes, it was Lettuce.
"Lettuce!" Orphan exclaimed, running toward him. "Oh Lettuce, I missed you so much!" She said, hugging him tight.
"What are you talking about? I found him." The boy said, clenching the leash tighter.
"And WHERE exactly did you find him?!" Orphan snapped.
"He was-" Konan came over.
She bent down in front of the boy and pushed Orphan away from the puppy.
Orphan started to cry. She was afraid she was going to lose Lettuce forever, never to see his fuzzy face ever again...
"Little boy, may I please see the dog?"
The boy gulped and nodded.
Konan picked the puppy up and looked at his rear.
"Young man, this dog has the very same mark as the one my granddaughter lost. It isn't a coinsedence either, for I added the mark myself." Konan stated.
"O-oh... I'm sorry Ma'am... I didn't mean to take your puppy..." The boy handed Konan the leash.
As they were walking away, Orphan heard the boy say words that struck her heart as if been stabbed in the chest.
"Live a life full of hate... All you want is someone to love who'll love you back. You finally get it, but it's taken away... What's next, huh? What's next..."
Orphan actually knew what this boy was talking about, and it was heartbreaking.
She told Konan what she was going to do.
"... Are you sure, Orphan?"
"Yea... At least Pet talks..." Orphan answered.
She took the leash and walked back to the boy.
"Hey... What's your name...?"
He looked up with tears streaming down his face. "K-Koji..."
"How old are you?"
"... Five..." The boy answered.
"... Here." Orphan handed Koji Lettuce's leash. "You can keep him. You need him a lot more than I want him."
Orphan's voice was breaking.
"Th-thank-you! Um, wh-what's you're name...?"
"... Orphan..."
"Thank-you Orphan. I hope to see you again some day." Koji started to walk off, but Orphan stopped him.
"What... What are you going to name him...?" She sniffled, pointing at Lettuce.
"... Retasu." Koji answered.
Orphan gave a half laugh, tears streaming down her face.
"Bye Koji." Orphan bent down, giving Lettuce a big hug. "Bye Lettuce, I'll miss you."
Orphan stood and Koji hugged her.
"Thank-you again..." He let go and walked away Lettuce.
"Orphan, you did the right thing..." Konan said, coming up behind her. "I release you from your grounding..."
"Can we go home Grandma? I just want to go home..." She cried.
Orphan's face was beet red, her nose running, and her tears looked like rivers on her face. Konan nodded and picked her up, then headed back to the lair.
February tenth...
Orphan woke up early that day. She slipped out of the room, snuck downstairs, and took her place next to Kakuzu.
Tobi came down the stairs a few minutes later and turned on the lights.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBI!" Everyone shouted.
Tobi was so startled, he threw kunai and shuriken in every which way direction.
Everyone skillully dodged the weapons. Everyone but Orphan, who was standing on the sofa.
A kunai was headed straight for her head.
Hidan stepped in front of Orphan. Now the kunai was headed toward Hidan's heart.
The kunai was just two feet away from Hidan when Itachi stepped in front of him and caught it with two fingers.
"Awwww, Itachi! You knew that wouldn't have killed me!" Hidan complained.
"Did you seriously want Orphan to see that?" Itachi asked dryly.
Later, after lunch, Tobi got to open his presents.
From Hidan, he got a few kunai, from Kakuzu he got thirty dollars, from Zetsu he got a bonsai tree.
From Deidara, he received a whack on the head and a clay bird. From Itachi he got a box of tea, from Konan he got a stuffed panda, from Kisame he got to really cool shirts, from Sasori he received a carved name plate for his wall.
Pein gave him a large poster. Orphan handed Tobi a large box. He opened it and squealed. Inside were some very pretty stones, and art supplies for his drawings he did.
He picked up the card and read aloud. " 'I love you Tobi, you're the bestest little brother ever.' "
Nobody could see it because of his orange spiraled mask, but Tobi smiled. "Thank-you Orphan!"
That night, Orphan layed there in the dark for a while, then started sobbing.
Tobi, hearing this, sat up quickly. "Nee-chan? Is Nee-chan okay?"
Orphan didn't answer, she just kept sobbing. Tobi couldn't see her in the dark.
"Nee-chan, why are you-" He felt his mattress depress as Orphan crawled up next to him.
"... Orphan... What's wrong...?"
"I... I-I miss him..." Orphan cried.
"You miss wh-... Oh... It's okay..." Tobi hugged Orphan tight. "It's okay Orphan..."
Eight days later, Orphan doing a handstand on her bed. "I... *huff* I can't... *huff* *huff* I can't do it Nii-san..."She panted.
"Yes you can Orphan. Just relax your muscles." Itachi replied.
"B-but... *huff* M-my arms hurt..."
"Start opening your legs."
"Please no Nii-san, no more!"
"Just do it." Itachi commanded.
Orphan tried, but she fell to her bed with a THUD.
"Well... You did a handstand for three minutes. You just have to work on the splits."
"I'll never be as good as little brother!" Orphan grumped, pointing at Tobi, who was walking around on his hands while doing the splits.
"You will Nee-chan!" Tobi piped up. "When at first you don't succeed, try, try again!" Tobi left the room.
Orphan smiled slightly, the resumed her handstand. "Nii-san, what should I get Grandma?"
"I don't really know... I don't know what she likes, I'm just getting her chocolate like I do every year."
"Hmmm..."
Two days later...
Konan went downstairs and over to Hidan, who was sitting in an armchair. She picked up a magazine a whacked him on the head.
Hidan scowled, but got the message. He got up and Konan sat down.
"Orphan, breakfast!" Pein called.
Orphan ran down the stairs, grabbed a poptart, and ran back up to room.
At lunch, Pein called Orphan again, but she didn't come down. He called again after, but she still didn't come.
"Oh well, let's start without her." Hidan said.
So they did. Konan got a lot of very nice gifts from everyone, but it isn't necessary to name them all.
Just then, Orphan came down the stairs. Once she reached the bottom of the stairwell, she got on her hands and hand-walked all the way over to Konan.
She then stood and clapped her hands. Pein's second Animal Path, Chikushodou, came over carrying a beautifully wrapped box.
She kneeled down and handed it to Konan. Konan took it and opened it.
Inside was a hand-sewn night dress with white and red felt flowers in the center shaped as an Akatsuki Cloud.
"Oh, it's beautiful!" Konan awed. "Thank-you Orphan!"
"Chiku-chan helped."
Konan smiled, "Thank-you as well, Chikushodou."
The Akatsuki had flame-broiled fish for dinner, Konan's favorite. Konan got into her new night gown and stayed up late to watch television with Hidan, Sasori, and Zetsu.
It was three days before March eighteenth and Orphan was in big trouble.
"But I didn't do it!" Orphan wailed.
"Tobi, did you draw on my puppet? Sasori asked.
Tobi put his hands up in defense, "No no, Tobi is a GOOD BOY!" Tobi answered.
"That means it was you, Orphan."
"NO, I didn't do it!"
"Then why do you have marker all over your hands?"
"I told you, I was coloring with Daddy!" Orphan bawled.
Pein came over. "What's going on?"
"Orphan drew all over my puppet."
"Uh, she was drawing with me."
"Yes, but who knows how old this is?"
Deidara came over. "What's happening? Hm"
"Orphan drew on my puppet with permanent marker."
"Dude, it's what kids do. If the pest wants to draw, give her paper or-"
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY WALL?!" Konan came storming over.
"Alright Missy, TALK!"
Orphan cried harder. "I'm sorry Grandma, I'm sorry!" She wailed.
"You are in deep trouble young lady!"
"TOBI DID IT!"
Everyone looked at Tobi.
"Tobi is sorry, Nee-chan does not have to lie. Tobi drew on the walls and on Sasori Senpai's puppet. Punish Tobi instead." Tobi hung his head in fake shame.
"Tobi, you know better! Tobi is a bad boy!"
Tobi cringed. Orphan stared at him with tears still rolling down her face. Tobi knew she had done it and took the fall for her... What a good little brother he was to her.
The next day, Orphan knocked on Sasori's door.
"Enter! ... Unless you're Deidara!"
Orphan entered. "Um... Saso- woah!" Orphan stumbled, tripping over Sasori's arm.
"Oh, hi Orphan. Do you mind handing me my arm?"
"I was wondering if I could ask a few questions?" She said, handing Sasori his arm.
"Sure Orphan, ask away."
"Why does Zetsu eat people?"
"That's his thing."
"Why is Uncle often covered in ketchup?"
"That's his thing."
"Why does Grandpa love money?"
"That's his thing."
"Why does little brother wear his mask all the time?"
"That's his thing."
"Why can Nii-san's eyes turn red?"
"It's called Sharingan."
"What?"
"That's his thing..."
"Why are Daddy's eyes spiraled?"
"It's called Ri-... That's his thing."
"Why is Pet blue?"
"That's his thing."
"Where do babies come from?"
"..." Sasori looked up from putting his arm back on. "... That's classified."
"Okay, bye Sasori." Orphan skipped out of the room.
The next day...
Orphan was pacing back and forth in the room she and Tobi shared. She had no idea what to get or make Kisame. She thought and thought and thought, then it hit her.
"Daddy!"
"Yes sweetheart?"
"Call Chiku-chan please!"
"Yes dear!"
A few minutes later, Chikushodou was in the room, sitting criss-cross on Tobi's bed.
"So, you called me here today why?"
"Well, you see, I had a problem. But then I got an idea. But then, I remembered, I have another problem. To do what I was gonna do for Pet, I need skill, experience, and long fingers... And I got none of that. So you, my main help, are gonna help me... Please..."
Chikushodou smiled. She couldn't resist Orphan's five year old cutness and she'd help her do anything. "Alright, let's do this!"
That night, Orphan was NOT gonna get up to go pee at six in the morning like she usually does.
The next day, Kisame insisted on opening his presents after dinner, which was shrimp, crab, and sushi. The Akatsuki went to the living room after they were done eating.
Yes, of course Kisame got present from everyone, but I'm only naming two.
Itachi handed Kisame a medium sized box. He opened it and pulled out a new sword holder for his sword, Samehada.
"Hey, thanks Itachi! The other one was wearing out." He gave his friend a sharp toothed smile.
Orphan smiled as Chikushodou bent down and handed the large box to her.
Orphan held it up to Kisame.
He kindly took it and opened it. Inside was a handmade plush shark. It was finely detailed as a chibi type shark plush.
"I picked the design and materials, and Chiku-chan helped me make it." Orphan giggled and hugged Chikushodou.
"Wow, Orphan, Chikushodou, you guys... Are just... Fantastic!"
Both giggled and blushed.
Two weeks passed and the Akatsuki would normally be playing pranks on each other, but they weren't. Because of Orphan.
The Akatsuki went to the store while Orphan kept Hidan busy.
The next morning, Hidan got out of bed and stepped on a kunai. He grumbled some not so nice words as he pulled it out of his foot, stumbled to the bathroom, put iodine on his wound, and bandaged it up.
Hidan walked down the stairs to the dining room. Nobody seemed to remember his birthday, but what was he gonna do? Shout out 'Hello! Twenty-four year old man waiting for his birthday wishes!'? Of course not!
Hidan sat down at the table and ate his breakfast quietly, glaring at everybody. Then, he realized Orphan wasn't there and got a little excited.
But, Orphan came in carrying two cups of orange juice and sat next to Deidara, who took a cup.
Hidan scowled and started glaring again.
Later on, he didn't come down for lunch, which was absolutely fine with the other Akatsuki members. Hidan just stayed in his room, looking at pictures. Eventually, his stomach spoke loud enough for him to go downstairs to get a snack. When he did, he got a big surprise.
"SURPRISE! Happy birthday Hidan!"
Streamers and balloons were everywhere.
"Wow, you guys did this for me?" Hidan asked.
"Yea, well, it was Orphan's idea. Don't get used to it." Kakuzu said, handing him dinner, which was spare ribs covered in barbacue sauce, just how Hidan liked it.
After Hidan ate, it was present time. He received sharp pointy objects from everyone... Except Orphan.
She gave him a large pillow with Jashin's simbol embroidered in the center.
"Oh my Jashin, Orphan! This is the best gift ever, thank-you! I haven't gotten a single soft gift in the time I've been here! Everyone assumed I liked sharp things, so that's what I got."
"You DO like sharp things..." Kakuzu said dryly.
"That's besides the point Kakuzu, shut the fuck up."
"Language!"
"... Anyways, thank-you Orphan."
Four weeks and four days later...
Orphan sat on her bed and counted her money. She had one thousand dollars(wow, what every kid dreams) from randomly given money(she is so spoiled).
Orphan put her money back into her drawer, then laid her clothes out for the next day. Then she snuck into Deidara's room and picked out clothes for him. Orphan went downstairs and went to eat breakfast.
At lunchtime, Orphan went to her room and grabbed her Naruto plush. She went downstairs to Konan and handed her the doll.
"Um, Grandma? Could you fix Naruto-kun?"
Konan looked the doll over. "There's nothing wrong with it Orph-"
Orphan handed the doll's little headband to her.
"Oh." Konan tied the headband back on the doll and gave it back.
The next day, Orphan got into the clothes she picked out and skipped downstairs. She ate breakfast, then confronted Deidara.
"Mommy. There's a festival in town. Can we go, may we go, please?"
Deidara sighed. "Sure, whatever. Hm"
"Yay! I laid clothes out for you!" Orphan said happily.
Deidara got dressed then he and Orphan went to the festival.
"Two entry tickets?" A skinny man asked. "That will be twenty dollars..."
Deidara sighed and started pulling out his wallet when Orphan handed the man the money. She turned and smiled. "My treat, happy birthday Mommy!"
When Orphan and Deidara got home, Orphan only had about two hundred and fifty dollars left. Orphan's card to Deidara read: 'Happy birthday Mommy! I don't know what I'd do without you'
June ninth, Itachi had the most awesome birthday and he got a bunch of cool gifts. Now, it was Orphan's birthday.
She got a Rilakkuma bear from Sasori, a pillow with lace around it from Konan, Kunai from Hidan(which were confiscated), a pink mask from Tobi, five hundred dollars from Kakuzu(I'm officialy jealous of this kid), cute pajamas from Pein, another boquet from Zetsu, a necklace from Itachi, a telescope from Deidara, and a fish from Kisame, whom Orphan named Sharky.
"I'm finally SIX!" Orphan shouted.
Please note: I call the black side of Zetsu, Yoropiko. It is easier than calling him KuroZetsu or Black Zetsu. I am also addicted to writing Pain's name as 'Pein', I apologize if either of these things are annoying