I have worked very hard on book one of this series. I really hope you enjoy it! I've actually finished the first book, I've written it all down in notebooks, I just have to type it. I apologize deeply in advance for any mistakes. I've added several OCs to this story as well. The OCs in the chapter are: Orphan(main), Utsukushii(major) Kimuzukashii(major), Koji(minor), Ren(minor), Kindergarten Class(minor), Mystery Male(minor). The characters that belong to Masashi Kishimoto respectively are in fact mostly OOC, meaning Out Of Character
Fun-sized
"What the- everything grew!" Kakuzu shouted.
"No, we shrunk." Sasori said.
"We didn't shrink. Un" Deidara said. "If we had shrunk, Konan wouldn't be flat-chested. Un"
"You mean-"
"We got turned back into kids. Though it is quite clear that we still have knowledge of when we were still adults. Un"
"Why does stuff like this happen to us?!" Kakuzu exclaimed.
Kimuzukashii and Utsukushii walked over to the group of kids. "So, you're awake, huh? It didn't affect us."
"What happened?"
"It was a scroll. Hidan did it. I told him it had flaws."
"Our power level has decreased greatly. Also, we might get some new fears and different personalities. Un" Deidara added.
"Yea, I can tell my Sharingan weakened at a great amount." Itachi said.
"I'm sorry everybody! It was my fault~!" Hidan wailed.
"Like I said, we might get different personalities... I was almost a legal adult and NOW I'm a child again! Un" Deidara shouted.
"Damn, you think you have it bad Deidara? I'm a human again! And I'm too small for Hiruko!" Sasori said.
"That ain't so bad Danna. Un"
"Um, if you don't mind, I'd like to know where Pein is?" Konan asked politely.
"Pouting." Kimuzukashii answered.
"Itachi? What's with that face?" Kisame asked.
Itachi's eye twitched. "Hey, Deidara, how old do you think we are?"
"Well, considering the fact that I am not an infant, we are ALL about five or six. Why? Un"
"... Sasuke... He's older than me... And a lot bigger..." Itachi said quietly. Kisame laughed.
"Hey! Don't laugh at Itachi! That isn't nice!" Hidan said.
Kisame frowned and growled at him. Kimuzukashii's brow raised, "Well, Deidara was right. People have change a lo-"
"Hey! Hey! Kimuzukashii! Will you be my friend?" Sasori asked, with an adorable smile.
"Uhhhh... Suuurrre?"
"Yay! Thank-you!"
Kimuzukashii slowly grabbed Utsukushii's arm, then dragged her out the front door.
"Hey, wait a minute... Where's Orphan?!"
"Calm down Nii-san! I'm up here!" Itachi looked up to the top on the stairwell where the railing was and Orphan waved at him.
"Wait, it didn't affect you either?"
"Nope! Just you guys!"
Pein stomped out of the kitchen, angry as all Hell, frowning and growling. I bet if he was still an adult, he would've looked menacing and scary as shit. But no, he looked adorable.
"Hidan!"
"I said I was sorry~!" Hidan cried.
"It's okay Hidan... Why don't you find something fun to do? Liiiike... Play with this kunai? You like stabbing yourself for some reason." Sasori suggested.
Hidan scrambled backwards, "Ahhh, no! That's dangerous! Take it away! Put it away!" Hidan screeched. Sasori put the kunai down.
Deidara sighed, "And new fears I said... I don't like this at all. Un"
"You wanna be my friend Deidara?" Sasori asked cutely.
"On second thought... I kinda do. Yea! I'll be your friend! Un"
"Let's go upstairs and play!" "Okay! Un" The two boys ran upstairs.
"-and that's why I say, Itachi, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
"I get what you're saying, Kisame... But unless life also provides water and sugar... Your lemonade is gonna suck."
Kisame frowned, "Don't make me hit you." He growled as Utsukushii and Kimuzukashii came back in.
"I'm hungry..." Itachi murmured, ignoring Kisame's threat.
Utsukushii picked him up. "Awwww! You're so adorable!"
"Hey! Put me down! Wait... Is that? Well look who's trying to sneak upstairs!"
Tobi moved quicker.
"Ah ah mister." Utsukushii put Itachi down and grabbed Tobi's hand.
"Tobi's a good boy!" He screeched.
"What's in your other hand?"
"All Tobi has is a paper plate!" He showed it to Utsukushii.
"Alright." She let him go and he ran up the stairs. His mask was too big so he had to make an alternative quickly.
"Hey, Kaki?" Hidan asked.
"Do NOT call me Kaki, Hidan."
"I'm sorry... But, where did you get the money you're holding?"
"This? I got it off Deidara. No big deal..."
"Kaki-"
"Ah!"
"I mean, Kakuzu, it's not nice to take things that aren't yours."
"I don't care. Besides, those two said it was okay." Kakuzu replied, pointing to the two green haired boys that were dancing around.
Hidan frowned. Konan walked over to the green haired children, "Zetsu, Yoropiko, you wanna race?"
"Nope." The answered in unison.
"Okay... Origami competition then?"
"Nope." They kept dancing around.
"Dance-off?"
The two stopped and thought about it. "Uhh... Sure!" "Yea, we'll bite."
"I hope not litera-"
-BANG- -BANG- -BOOM- "What is that?" Konan asked. -BOOM-
Deidara and Sasori ran downstairs, Tobi close behind. He had on the paper plate, colored orange with drawn on spirals. You could tell it was done pretty fast.
Sasori took a deep breath, "Deidara and I were about to explode a doll when Tobi spilled dye, that we brought, onto Deidara's clay while we were mixing it!"
"Art is an explosion and now explosion is art! Un"
"AND literally eternal beauty since the dye was permanent!"
"Hey guys, I got three questions..." Orphan said, walking over. "Was the doll mine, was the dye mine, who's room did you explode the stuff in?"
"Yes, it was, sorry. Yes, it was, sorry. And, Hidan's room." Sasori answered. Everyone looked at Hidan.
"Oooh, yay! Colors!" He smiled.
Kisame stepped forward. "Wait wait wait! How'd you explode the clay in the first place?"
Deidara answered, "Super heated, with an air pocket inside."
"Oh..."
"I HATE BEING A CHILD!" Pein shouted.
"I'm sorry!" Hidan wailed.
"Why is Konan so happy about being a kid again?" Kisame asked.
"None of your business, Kisame. I'm gonna go get some dango." Itachi said.
The next day...
"Let's have another pool party! It is seventy-five degrees outside." Konan said.
"I'll go buy you guys some swimwear." Utsukushii said, heading to the door. Once she got back, everyone got dressed and went outside. Kimuzukashii turned on the grill and Utsukushii sat by the pool.
"Hey, Itachi, you wanna help me make lemonade?" Kisame asked.
"Sure! Life shall provide the lemons, Itachi Uchiha shall provide the water and sugar!" Itachi replied, laughing.
Kisame growled, "Don't make me hit you."
Deidara jumped into the pool and waited for Sasori to get in. But he didn't. He just stood at the edge, ringing his hands, looking down at the water.
"Huh? What's wrong Danna? Un"
"Well, uh... I can't swim. I don't how. I was never taught how..." Sasori answered meekly.
"Oh... I have an idea! Hey Orphan! Un"
Orphan swam over, "Yea?"
"Could Sasori borrow your floaties and water tube? Un"
"Sure, I'll go get them." She climbed out of the pool and ran inside.
"Itachi! You're putting too many lemons in!" Kisame yelled, as he and Itachi were making lemonade.
"I like lemons!"
"STOP ADDING LEMONS!"
"NO!"
"Guys! The water balloons are ready!" Zetsu shouted. Hidan, Yoropiko, Konan, Pein, and Tobi ran over to him. He handed them each a bucket of water balloons.
"Okay, Yoropiko is on my team. Konan, you're with Hidan and Tobi is with Pein. Ready?"
"Yea!"
"Yes."
"Yes yes yes!"
"Let's do this!"
"Let's take 'em out, Zetsu!" "Alright, SPLIT!" The three teams ran separate ways and started planning their attacks.
"YOU RUINED MY LEMONADE YOU JERK!" Kisame shouted, chasing Itachi around the pool.
"No! You ruined my lemons!" Itachi yelled back.
"THEY WEREN'T YOURS ITACHI!"
"Yuh-huh! I bought 'em!"
"Don't fight!" Hidan yelled.
Sasori had finished putting the floaties on and Deidara was helping him into the pool. Sasori shivered when the water touched his skin, then he smiled at Deidara. Orphan tossed the water tube in for Sasori, then ran over to Kimuzukashii to see how long the food would take. Hidan continued to try to get Kisame to stop yelling at Itachi while looking out for water balloons that were thrown at him.
Zetsu climbed a tree to try and spot the other teams. He spotted Pein and threw a water balloon at him. It hit the unsuspecting child right in the face. Tobi gasped, seeing his teammate's soaked face and dripping bangs. Yoropiko laughed, knowing it was Zetsu who got him. After a few minutes of the water balloon fight, Kimuzukashii called everyone to eat.
Kakuzu walked over to Pein and handed him a cup. Pein tasted it's contents and spit it out. "No! I said I wanted a double chocolate caramel latte with two shots of peach and extra whipped cream! You call THIS crap coffee?! Shame on you!" Pein threw the cup and it hit Kisame.
"Rrrrr!"
Kakuzu looked confused, "What did I do wrong?"
Pein just screamed. Kakuzu held out his hand, "That'll be eleventeen thousand yenny."
"Eleventeen is not a number." Deidara informed.
Kisame pushed Pein of his seat, "That'll teach you not to throw coffee!" Pein stood up and went inside to pout.
That night...
"Kisame! Are you out of the bathroom yet?" Utsukushii called.
"Yes!"
"Okay, Sasori, go take a bath."
"Okay Utsukushii-san..." Sasori ran upstairs.
Two blurs shot past Utsukushii. "STOP." She said shortly.
The two boys skidded to a halt and turned around, "Yus?"
"What the...? Why aren't you two in pajamas?!" Utsukushii questioned.
Zetsu and Yoropiko looked at each other, then at Utsukushii. "... ~What're clothes good for? Absolutely nothing!~ " The two said in a tune, then started dancing around.
Utsukushii sighed, "Go to bed you two."
Thirty minutes later...
"Itachi! Come here please!" Itachi hopped down the stairs, "Yes, Utsukushii-san?"
"People aren't going to bed."
"So? That involves me how?"
"Could you please help me out?"
Itachi sighed, with a slight nod, and hopped back upstairs. He knocked on Kisame's door first.
"Go away!" Kisame shouted.
Itachi instead opened the door and stared at the blue skinned boy.
"Get out!"
"No, go to bed." Itachi said plainly.
"No!"
"Two words... Blue. Sushi."
"Uuhhhh I uhhh, goodnight!" Kisame pulled the covers over his head.
Itachi turned out the light and went to Tobi and Orphan's room.
"Bed time!" Tobi shouted.
"Exactly." Itachi said, before turning off the light and closing the door. He went to Pein's room. "Pein, no more coffee. It's time to sleep."
"No! I want-"
"Do you think you room would look better with red polka-dots?"
"I'm sleeping RIGHT NOW!"
Itachi turned the light off and closed the door, then went to Zetsu and Yorpiko's room. "Zetsu... Yoropiko... Put some clothes on."
"No! Dun wanna!" The two shouted in unison.
"Five... Four... Three... Two... O- that's better." Itachi said, looking at the boys' light green footies. "Now go to bed."
"No! Dun wanna!"
"Hmm... I wonder if that flower patch out front should burn..."
"Ah! We mean, sweet dreams!"
Sasori was particularly hard, since he was the attention seeker. "Friend?" He asked with the cutest smile.
"Whatever, go to bed." Itachi said.
"Tell me a story first."
"Fine. There once was a little red head who got slapped dead for not going to bed. The end..."
"... Never mind stories, sing some songs!"
"Ugh..."
"Please?"
"You're lucky I'm not the one who slapped the little red head dead." Itachi muttered.
"Please?"
"Fine. What song."
"Pop goes the weasel!"
"... All around the mulberry bush, the monkey chased the weasel. Turned out the weasel had a gun- BOOM! Long live the weasel."
Sasori handed Itachi a list of songs, pop goes the weasel was crossed out. He got back in bed. Itachi sighed and looked at the list.
"ABC's? Ugh... G, gummy bears are hugging me. One is red, one is blue, and I see a green one too. Oops I ended all their lives, 'cause a white one had a knife. "
"Switch!"
" The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout. Down came some rain and washed the spider out. Up came the sun, which dried up all the rain, but the itsy bitsy spider had been squashed by Pein. "
"Switch!"
"... Old man Nouka had a farm , A-ma-ter-a-su! Had."
"Switch!"
" Silent night, holy night. Slap you hard, knock out your lights. Keep me here, I'll throw a fit. I guarantee you will get hit. "
"Switch!"
" Hush little red head, this ain't no lie; I'm about to slap you, don't ask why. "
"Switch!"
"... I'll douse your bed with gas-o-li-ine, hahahahaha haha ha ha. I'll light a match and watch it gle-eam, hahahahaha ha -"
"STOP!"
"What?! WHAT?!"
"That's Dei's song! I'll give you one more chance to sing me a NORMAL non-violent song in a REAL sing-song voice instead of flat and monotone before I call Utsukushii!" Sasori said, frowning and crossing his arms.
Itachi sighed, "Fine. ~There is one food that I love, can you guess it's name? Oh! D-A-N-G-O! D-A-N-G-O! D-A-N-G-O!~ Gonna slap you in the face, oh!"
Sasori and Itachi stared at each other a pretty long time. Sasori opened his mouth, "UTSUKUSH-"
"Goodnight!" Itachi slammed the door. "They're all going to sleep." He informed, hopping back down the stairs.
"Mmhmm... Okay..." Utsukushii replied.
"What're you doing?"
"Filling out some paperwork."
"What for?" "You're going to school."
"People will recognize us! ME especially!"
"I'll use a genjustsu. Only those in Akatsuki will see what you truly look like."
"Aaaargh! I don't want to go!"
"Go to bed."
Itachi huffed and stormed upstairs, to his room, and shut the door.
Two days later...
"We're WHAT?!" Kisame shouted.
"You going to Kindergarten with Orphan." Utsukushii said plainly. "I got everyone clothes, backpacks, and other stuff."
"Basically wasting money." Deidara said. "We're not going to stay kids forever, so all the money you spent went down the drain."
"Orphan can use everything when you change back." Utsukushii said.
"YAAAYYY! You're coming to school with me!" Orphan exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Everybody come on!" Kimuzukashii called.
At the school...
"Have a nice day!" Kimuzukashii said, directly at Orphan and maybe Deidara then walked away. Orphan lead everyone to her classroom.
"We have new students joining us for today. Apparently they're Orphan's cousins...?" Ren introduced each member. "Everyone is free for the hour."
Orphan ran over to Koji and Sashimi. "I'm sorry about your parents, Yuki..." Koji said, looking sad.
"It's Orphan. It's okay, I get to stay with my other family!" Orphan grinned.
"Hey, Takei, look at THAT kid!" Temi chuckled, walking over to Kakuzu. Takei followed.
"Hi!" Kakuzu greeted.
"Hehe, what's wrong with you mouth, huh?" Temi sneered, pointing at the stitches.
"Huh?" Kakuzu looked confused.
"Hah! And your eyes look weird!"
"Don't they look like watermelon?!" Kakuzu said, grinning.
"This kid is stupid..." Temi said to Takei. "Let's test him." Takei said. "What's five plus six?"
"Eleventeen." Kakuzu answered simply.
"HA! That's not a number!" Both bullies exclaimed.
"Well, he got the eleven part right!" Deidara said, walking over. "If YOU TWO are so smart, tell me what seven times nine is!"
Temi and Takei looked at each other, then back at the blond, "Uhh... It's none of your business, girly!"
"I'm a BOY!" Deidara shouted.
"Huh? What'd you say sissy?"
Deidara made a weird noise and ran away. Temi smirked, "Heh. Now, you freaky dolt." He turned back to Kakuzu, "Why are you so-"
"Is there a problem here, boys?" Kisame asked, coming up behind Kakuzu.
Temi made a weird face, "Huh. We have a question for you, fish-face."
Kisame's eye twitched.
"Why's this kid so stupid? You seem to know him."
"... You know how some children get dropped on their heads when they're little?" Kisame asked.
Tears welled up in Kakuzu's eyes.
Temi snickered, "Yea."
Kisame pat Kakuzu on the head. Temi laughed and Takei backed away.
"You two were obviously thrown really hard at a wall. Nothing's wrong with Kakuzu. Compared to you, he's a genius." Kisame growled.
Temi gasped.
"Don't sell stuff to my friend, cuz you'll buy it back from ME later. C'mon Kakuzu." Kisame and Kakuzu walked over to Misa instead.
A light brunette walked up to Itachi, "Hi, whatcha doin'?"
"Uhhh..."
"Why're you just standing there?"
"Um... No reason..." Itachi replied.
The girl giggled, "My name's Kairi. What's yours?"
"I-Itachi."
"Nice to meet you Itachi! You're cute!"
"Hehe, um, thanks... Do you like dango?"
"What's that?" Kairi asked.
"I have some, I'll share some with you at lunch."
"Cool!"
Ren was looking through some papers on his desk when he noticed Hidan standing there, staring at him. "Ah! H-how long have you been standing there?"
"Since I came." Hidan answered.
"Do you need something?"
Hidan shook his head no, "Well, those two were being mean to Kaki and Deidara, but Kisame dealt with it. BUT, he has anger issues and I know he's plotting revenge on them. His revenge isn't pretty..."
"Thank-you for telling me. Temi, Takei, go stand out in the hall until I say."
Temi grumbled and as he and Takei walked past Hidan, he said "Little rat..." Hidan, of course, apologized.
Pein took out a large canister from his backpack, catching Ren's eye. "Uh, hey, it's not lunch time yet." He informed.
Pein shrugged it off, "Don't care. This is more important than life."
"Um... What is it?"
"COFFEE." Pein replied, then started chugging like a madman.
Later, back at the lair...
"Pein, you're chugging your fifth cani- uh..."
"Hello." An unknown woman greeted.
"Who is that?!" Pein shouted.
"She's an old friend of mine. Her name is Tsuyoichi." Utsukushii answered.
Tsuyoichi had on a black sleeveless shirt, black skintight shorts with a purple and black half-skirt, and eye patch and golden yellow eye, green hair in twintails, and fair skin with a beauty mark under her right eye.
Kimuzukashii froze. "I thought you were dead, Tsuyoichi!" He exclaimed.
Tsuyoichi ran her fingers through her hair, "Well... I'm not."
"Is that your girlfriend?" Deidara asked.
"No, my twin sister." Kimuzukashii answered.
"YOU HAVE A SISTER?!"
"And an older brother..."
"Utsukushii, she's NOT staying!" Pein shouted.
"I can describe her in two words." Utsukushii said.
"I don't care! I'M the leader of this oranization, not YOU! You can't invite random people left and right!"
"Pein, calm dow-"
"NO Konan! Just because I'm small doesn't mean you're in charge! I am! I think if YOU suppose you can make rules and decisions over MY say so, you have to be kicked out!"
"Pein-"
"NO! In fact, I think execution is in order!"
"Too much caffiene..." Deidara whispered to Sasori, who nodded in agreement.
"I'll have mercy this time, you can stay. BUT SHE LEA-"
"Caffiene Goddess." Utsukushii said plainly.
"I have a GREAT idea! Since she's Grumpy's sister, she should stay a little while. At LEAST." Pein walked away.
Tsuyoichi approached her twin, "Hey, Kimuzukashii..."
"What?"
"You and Utsukushii sure got busy." Tsuyoichi said with a sly grin.
"EH?! They aren't our children! It was a jutsu done by Enoki! Utsukushii and I aren't even dating! These are our teammates who are all actually adults except Orphan! The jutsu changed their personalities!"
"Yeesh, chill little brother. I was kiddin' with you."
Two hours later...
"Are you done yet?!" Kisame yelled, banging on the bathroom door.
"I JUST got in here!" Tsuyoichi replied from the other side.
"Hurry up! I need to use the toilet, lady!"
"You're quite rude! Wait your turn!"
Now Kisame was mad. "WHY?! What do YOU need a bathroom for?! You're just a female cyclops with green hair!"
"Uncool!"
Pein approached Utsukushii, who was reading. "*Ahemn*"
Utsukushii closed her book and looked at Pein.
"Um... You remember how two hours ago I yelled at you?"
"Yea."
"We're all good, right?"
"No." Utsukushii went back to reading.
"Tcht... I'll go... Get... Some... Coffee, yea..." Pein walked away.
Three weeks later...
There was a knock on the lair door. Deidara, who was still a child, opened it. Tsuyoichi stepped in, pulling a blindfolded person in with her. The took the blindfold off. He had light green eyes and long white hair.
"Enoki!" Kimuzukashii and Utsukushii growled.
"Ah! My fr-"
"Release the jutsu!"
"Hah? What juts-"
Kimuzukashii cocked one of his guns.
"Okay okay!" Enoki released his jutsu. The original Akatsuki members fainted. "No one will remember any encounter they had with those that were affected." Enoki sighed.
"Even my class?" Orphan asked.
Enoki shrugged, "If they met them while they were affected, your class won't remember."
"What about me?" "If you were around with the jutsu took affect, you'll remember."
Tsuyoichi blindfolded Enoki again, "See ya!" She took Enoki away.
The next day...
"I'm so glad we're conjoined again, Yoropiko! Yea, me too. Really? Mn, I can keep track of you."
Kisame grinned, "Hey, Kakuzu!"
"What?"
"... Eleventeen..."
Kakuzu's eyes narrowed and he whacked Kisame on the head. Kisame laughed and walked away.
Itachi sat next to Orphan on the sofa, "Hey... Orphan? Can I ask you something?"
"Sure!" "Ever since your parents took you back, you've seemed uneasy... Why?"
"Well... I didn't know Mommy and Daddy were alive. But then they were killed for real, and I know they're really strong. I was thinking that if they were gone so long and still came back, who could have killed them? Taken them off guard? That means he found out... And found them... It's only a matter of time before-..."
"Before what? Who's 'he'?"
"Nothing, no one..."
Three days later...
"Pein, where are my-"
"Don't know, going shopping. Orphan!"
Halfway to Konoha...
"Daddy?"
"Hm?"
"Why do we shop at Konoha?"
"Because. I like their shops."
"Oh..." Orphan looked around as they were noticed something move in the forest and stopped, staring to see better. Her eyes widened and she nearly had a heart attack. She certainly began having a panic attack though. She tugged on Pein's shirt continuously, "Daddy Daddy Daddy..." She said, breathing quickly, and heavily.
"What?"
"We need to go home... Now..."
"Why, do you need to pee?"
"No, wee need to go home... Take me home... I wanna go home!"
"Did you-"
"NOW!"
Pein had never seen or heard Orphan so urgent before, so he took her home.
As soon as they got home, Orphan loocked all the windows and doors. She ran to Itachi, who was sittng on the sofa, reading. She got on his lap, put his arms around her causing him to drop his book, pulled her knees to her chest so she was a tight ball, and squeezed her eyes shut.
"She's trembling." Itachi said, with a worried look toward Pein.
A few minutes of silence went by, then there was three loud knocks on the door. Orphan started shaking her head vigorously. "No, no! He followed me, I knew he would! How'd he find me?! No!"
Pein grabbed the door handle, unlocking the top lock.
"No, don't! Don't open the door, please!" Orphan cried.
"Pein! Orphan says you shouldn't!" Itachi called.
There was another knock, only louder and with more force. "NO!" Orphan was covering her ears, with tears and snot running down her face.
Pein opened the door, he hadn't heard Itachi. Orphan turned and hugged Itachi tightly. On the porch stood a white haired male, with light blue-ish/turquoise eyes, and a black headband on his forehead. His hair resembled Itachi's, only it was shoulder length, and he looked to be a teenager or young adult.
"May I come in?"
Pein frowned, "Uhh..."
"No no no..." Orphan was still trembling.
Pein shook his head slowly, so the guy disappeared and appeared in the livingroom, right in front of Itachi and Orphan. Itachi had his sharingan activated, and Pein hurried to the livingroom. The others in there pulled out weapons. The male ignored them.
"Hello..."
Orphan hugged Itachi tighter.
"... Yuki."
Please note: I call the black side of Zetsu, Yoropiko. It is easier than calling him KuroZetsu or Black Zetsu. I am also addicted to writing Pain's name as 'Pein', I apologize if either of these things are annoying. I'm SO sorry that it has almost been a year since my last update! I've been so busy and I hadn't even realized it'd been that long!