Chapter 5: Warm words about the meaning of the word 'home'

John was glad he had a few minutes for himself; the last days had been filled with unpleasant missions and nothing achieved. So he was glad to go away for a few minutes, away from his men who had lost a mate two days ago, away from the silent screams John thought he heard every time one of his colleagues looked at him. He couldn't have saved him.

Alone with his thoughts he will finally answered Sherlock's letter. But how could he explain the concept of 'home' to someone who had never really had one. He wasn't the best example of a person having a home himself. But maybe that would change while writing.

Dear Sherlock,

I received got your first letter. It was actually the first letter I have received since I have been here. My mates thought I had found myself a girlfriend, they are so childish sometimes. Okay most times.

We had a few bad days here. One of our mates didn't make it home. It wasn't my fault and no one is blaming me but I feel like I haven't done enough. He died under my hands. I wish I could have saved him. It's always very depressing when someone dies and it makes us realize even more that we are in a warzone. I guess this is what makes me a good doctor. I want to keep them all alive and as healthy as possible so that they can go home.

But enough of that. You asked me about the meaning of home and I have to tell you I'm not sure I am the best person to ask about this. I have never really felt at home anywhere. My parents and sister are my family but the home they should have provided never felt like it. A home is most of the times a place where you feel save. It doesn't have to be a house or a flat it can also be a person or more persons. For most, family members or a partner represent home. It can of course also be the place where you live with them. Everything that makes you feel safe, protected and where you don't have to be on guard is a place you can call home.

Sorry that I can't really explain it better. Maybe you can say you felt at home when you were with me. You told me you felt safe. So 'home' is a bit like the feeling you had while staying with me. Home can also change, it doesn't have to be the same place or people your whole life. Often you are adding people to the list of people you trust and love.

I hope I could help you. I will visit you when I have my next leave. I guess Mycroft has a guestroom in that huge house of his. I miss you.

Greetings from the dessert

John

John ended the letter with a sigh. He really missed the young man around him. But all he could do was let him go so that he could find his own way in the world. If nothing bad happened, he would be able to visit him soon and see how he had changed in the time.

Leaving the tent to continue his daily work he banned all thoughts of his family. Not that it had been bad all the time but a drunken father, a mother who never said anything and the sister, who was the only person he really loved in his family, was chased away after her coming out. Not the ideal family and not a place he had called home in a long time. He had taken the first chance to get away, by signing up for the army.