Chapter Eighty-Two: What' wrong with me?
The steel cut through the though wood like a knife through butter. Easily and without hesitation.
Little splinters flew everywhere and the two halves fell of the tree-stump onto the ever-growing pile around it.
The ax itself buried itself a few inches into the tree-stump
Astrid pulled it lose with a sharp tuck, placed another piece of wood on the stump, lifted the ax over her shoulder and swung it down with much force.
Again the sharp steel cut through the sturdy wood without any problems.
It was hard but monotonous work.
And usually men's work.
But as a shield woman she wasn't expected to be like the average Viking wife.
Besides she needed the distraction.
Gods above, everything had been a mess these past eight months, despite all the good stuff that had happened.
And it all had started with Hiccup running away.
Yes, she had heard what Gobber had said to Stoick about a fortnight ago.
Still she couldn't believe it. What evidence was there?
Why would Hiccup run anyway? He was at the top of the class, admired by anyone in the village, ever her, though she wouldn't admit that, even under torture.
"Don't you think that's enough fire-wood for now?" and amused voice asked behind her.
She turned around to see Tarin standing behind her, arms crossed and a slight smile on his lips though his eyes looked concerned.
She looked back at the pile of wood at her feet and realized that she had been totally lost in her work.
But she shrugged it off and mumbled: "Summer is at its end. Fall will be early this year. And After winter Devastating winter will once again consume it all."
She had to admit it sounded rather gloomy.
"I just want to be prepared." She added silently.
Tarin stepped closer.
"Astrid, are you alright?" he asked slowly.
"Why yes." She mumbled and kept her gaze down.
He shifted uncomfortably on his feet.
"It's just that….ever since our wedding….you have been somewhat….absent…" he muttered.
Guilty heat rose in her cheeks.
"What…what do you mean?" she asked. Though she knew exactly what he meant.
"You train all the time, you leave early, come back late, you throw yourself in danger and try to do everything at once. I barely see you these days."
He shoulders stiffened.
"I'm a shield woman. I'm expected to work hard for the village." She answered.
"But you are also my wife now. Doesn't that count too?" he asked.
Astrid didn't know where the sudden burst of anger came from. Honestly, she didn't know.
But suddenly she growled: "You don't own me." "I….I…I never said that!" he spluttered indignantly.
"The stop implying it!" she growled again and made a threatening step forward while lifting her ax.
She felt her mind going blank. All there was was anger. Her sight dimed down and she struggled against the dark thoughts and the little voice in the back of her head screaming: "Teach him a lesson! Show him who you are and that you are not his pet!"
"Astrid?"
Her name, spoken softly, confused and….and…scared brought her back to reality.
She gasped and stumbled backwards, dropping her ax and nearly cutting off her foot in the process.
She felt dizzy and shook her head to clear her vision.
She looked at Tarin who looked at her with big eyes.
"I…I'm sorry." She whispered.
"I…I don't know what got into me, I….I swear I didn't want to…." She stammered.
In a second he was next to her, wrapping his arms around her.
"Shh…it's alright, nothing happened. I'm sorry for angering you. Please know that I didn't mean to insult you."
She relaxed in his embrace.
"You didn't insult me. I….I just lost it somehow. I'm sorry. But….this is all still new. I'm sorry that I'm no better wife."
He kissed her forehead.
"Don't worry. You are perfect."
Astrid wasn't so sure.
As Tarin escorted her back to their house she couldn't help but shiver.
She felt as if something was watching her.
She had lost control over herself for a few precious seconds. She could have hurt Tarin.
She had felt something grabbing on to her insecurity and turning it into rage, a defensive mode she often used.
But she hadn't meant too.
The cold feeling wouldn't go away and did she imagine it or did she hear faint humorless laughter, cold and evil, in the wind?
What's wrong with me, she wondered as she entered the house, unaware of the growing shadows around her house and the little patch of Darkness that shifted through the cracks in the ground and disappeared.
.
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AN: Hey and sorry for not writing more but my health is at a critical point at the moment and I simply can't find the time nor the inspiration to write more.
Sorry for that.
Still love you all for reading and following,
Your Kate