I've been noticing the reviews coming in slower than before, and so have decided to update every two to three days, please don't' hate me *flinches* I've also been working a lot so in this way I can give each chapter the focus it deserves and not update a half-ass one; also so any new readers can catch up. Just to give a heads up, I am also working on another project (teeheehee!) that will hopefully make its debut sometime in June or July. It will be a Final Fantasy VII in case anyone is interested ; ) Well anyway, here it is, the conversation we've all been waiting for (Bella's will be only briefly mentioned, as you will see), I hope you all like it. Thanks so much for all the reviews, it's actually getting close to 300, WOW! I never expected such feedback from my first fanfic, but *sobbing pathetically* you guys have made it happen! So here's chapter forty two, read, review (to keep me sobbing pathetically lol) and enjoy!
I do not own any of Stephanie Meyer's work, solely the plot and some twin wolves in this story.
************************Jacob***************************************
I hung up the compact phone with a glazed expression. Nessie…I was finally going to get to talk to…Nessie…
"YESSSSSSS!"
A nearby couple nearly fell over from my sudden animate state of mind, the petite woman scowling in my direction with a very audible 'idiot.' I didn't care though. I was going to get to talk to Nessie!
Bella had been very brief with me. I could talk to her as long as I kept my location a secret. What was so hard about that? But Bella had been ready for that question.
"She's going to beg you, Jacob, she might even cry…I know you. You're going to want to give her everything she wants, especially since you haven't seen her, so I need you to be strong and keep you big mouth shut."
I was barely listening to her, of course, I was still too stunned and inwardly so excited my brain barely even heard her voice.
"Jacob?" she said, then a bit louder, "Jake!"
"Yeah, yeah, sure, sure," I told her, nodding my head as if she could see me, "location a secret, no matter what, got it. Can I talk to her now?"
I heard her sigh on the other end, though I knew there was somewhat of a smile on my other best friend. "No, Jake, not yet. Three days, ok? Just wait for three more days."
Three more days.
It seemed like forever, but…
"I'M GOING TO GET TO TALK TO NESSIE!"
This time I did knock over an old lady…into a nearby fountain.
******************************Nessie***********************************
"Really?" I squealed, my stomach fluttering like crazy with those magical words.
Alice smiled at my disbelief. "Yes, Ness, Edward and Bella have finally given the ok—"
"Finally?" I scowled, aiming an evil eye at my parents. But my anger didn't even make it through the second, I was too excited, relieved, happy, and feeling so many more things I don't think sufficient names could describe.
"You can call him as long as you promise not to go running off anywhere, no matter what—" began daddy, but I was already running towards his outstretched hand, a cell phone conveniently held out of my reach.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" I interrupted, jumping erratically over my half-smiling/half-frowning father in frantic need of that phone.
Mom laughed, "Just give her the phone, Edward."
Daddy was eyeing me speculatively, probably seeing if I had any plans of going after Jake. I pleaded with him through touch.
Please, please, please, please, PLEASE!
After another long 'daddy' look, he finally smiled wholeheartedly at me. "Alright, let me call, hang on."
I fell back slightly to give him some room. The days had been so miserable since Jake had left, and I couldn't help the stupid smile that suddenly seemed immovable from my face. I was going to talk to my Jake!
My enhanced hearing picked up two rings and then—
"Hello?"
The most beautiful voice in the world answered. I put out my hand eagerly, but of course daddy made me suffer just a bit longer.
"Hello Jacob, it's Edward," said daddy. I began to hop up and down involuntarily, whining silently.
"I'm doing fine, and you?" he continued, smiling amusedly at my anxious fidgeting.
"Glad to hear that, Jacob. Yes, today is that day," he said in answer to one of Jake's questions. "Just remember the conditions," he said, throwing an annoyed look at mom. She only smiled knowingly, however, turning one in my direction too.
"Sure, sure."
I felt my heart began to pound faster, realizing I was but a second away from hearing his heavenly voice after too long of a time for him and I. The swirl of emotions in my head began to spin faster, fluttering down into my stomach, into my toes, and back up again. There was so much I wanted to tell him, so much of his voice I wanted to hear. I'd longed for him for too long, worried for his safety each second, and alas!
Daddy handed me the phone and I yanked it eagerly.
"Hello? Hello? Ness, are you there?" said an anxious Jake.
And I suddenly found that I had no voice.
"Nessie? Hello? Damn, this stupid reception! Renesmee!"
"Sweetie, say something," mom coaxed, noticing my frozen stupor. I looked at her with wide eyes, nodding but saying nothing in response.
"Bella? Hey, where's Ness? Hello?" said Jake again, having heard my mom. I gulped back the tightness that was infiltrating my throat, my eyes fighting their own battle of staying dry. I gripped the phone tighter against my ear, taking a deep breath to calm myself…and forced out one word.
"Jake?" I said softly, unsure of whether he'd hear me, or even if he'd recognize my voice, but then—
"Oh Nessie!" he exclaimed, his voice cracking on my name. He had recognized my voice!
It was all I needed. I could hear his muffled sobs as my own began to fall relentlessly. I tasted salt as the tears came streaming down my face, tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears for my Jake.
"Jake!" I said again, this time louder, with half a laugh mingled in amidst the crying. I struggled to get a hold of myself, knowing Jake was doing the same.
"Ah Nessie," he said, failing audibly in his hope of speaking normally, "I've missed you, kiddo!"
My stupid smile remained plastered on my face, as I grinned wider and wider with each sound, each hitch of breath that came from the other end of the line. "I-I've missed y—you too, J-Jake," I said, doing my own dance with normalcy.
I couldn't seem to stop crying, though.
"Hey, hey," he cooed, "don't cry, sweetie, I'm absolutely fine! I swear!"
"B—but," I whimpered, "Jake, I've missed you so much! I—I—"
I heard a silent thud as my parents and Alice left the room, finally giving me some kind of privacy, though my mind only barely registered the gesture. I was torn between the joy my heart swelled up with by Jake's mere voice and the horrible reality we were living in right now. I wanted to tell Jake just how much I really missed him, how much his absence made my days so utterly miserable, the nights so much colder, the sun invisible and the sky moonless, I wanted to know when he was coming back, where he was now, I—I wanted…
I wanted to tell him that I loved him.
"But I bet you anything I miss you more," he said to me jokingly. I rolled my eyes, the tears still streaming.
"Don't be stupid, Jake," I said, laughing under my curtain of sobs. "You're much bigger than me so that means I miss you more."
He laughed at my weak attempt of a joke. "So doesn't that mean I have more 'missing' capacity?"
"Shut up, Jake," I retorted, a moan escaping as a new flush came out of my eyes.
"Alright, alright," he conceded, I could picture his incredible grin, the one he wore whenever he usually let me have my way, "you win, you win."
We both laughed and cried for several more seconds, happy and sad at the same time to be hearing each other after what seemed like too long. It was a moment of bliss, right now, a moment that connected two halves of a whole despite being so many miles apart…
"You ok, Ness?" he asked me, his musical laughter finally subsiding. I could tell he was trying to sound cheerful despite his obvious cries, to be happy and 'every thing is going to be ok' for my sake.
I hesitated…I wanted to keep our conversation happy too, to say I was doing fine, to be the big girl that everyone told me I was, to be strong and brave like my family and Jake, I wanted him to not worry about me so he could take care of himself, so that he could be safe at least…I wanted to do all of this…but…
I opened my mouth to say how 'ok' I was and instead choked on a muffled sob, crying out urgently, "No, Jake!" my voice breaking hysterically, "I'm not ok! Why did you leave me Jake! Don't you know I don't care what happens if I can't be with you!"
It caught him by surprise. "Hey, hey—"
"Can't you see that everyone is always trying to protect me? Not you too, Jake! I don't need you to protect me, Jake!"
"Nessie, hang on a min—"
"I need you Jake! Remember? I told you that night, I need you!"
"I need you too, Ness, but it's what's—"
"Don't say it! Please, that's all everyone tells me around here, I know what's best for me, and right now that's you, it's always been you, so don't even—"
"Nessie, calm down—"
"Jake I love you!"
Silence.
My heart raced and I could almost hear Jake's heartbeat…in perfect unison with my own.
He spoke first. "I love you too, Nessie, I always have," he said, carefully, but I interrupted him.
"No, Jake, you don't get it…" I paused, and I could hear his pulse quicken, could see his eyebrows raise in anticipation. I licked my lips, suddenly gone dry from my rushed intake of breath. "Jake, I—I love, love you."
For a long second he said nothing, and for an even longer second I feared I might've been wrong with my revelation, humiliated tears snaking their way out, but then he spoke.
"How did you—when did you—" he asked confusedly, but I could hear traces of elation behind the confusion, awe and pleasant surprise. He 'ahemed' in an attempt of hiding his obvious excitement, failing nonetheless. It gave me hope.
"The day after you left," I said softly, recalling the painful memory.
"Oh," he said, probably remembering the day himself. He spoke again, this time failing miserably at hiding his elation, "Nessie, I—I don't know what to say, where to begin, I—I can't believe it, I've been waiting to hear you say that for…" he sputtered, " too long. I—I"
"Do you…?" I suddenly asked, anxious for his response.
"Do I!" He exclaimed. "Renesmee Cullen I love you with all that I am and so much more! You can't possibly have any idea—you are the only girl that has, and will ever, hold my heart in your hands to do whatever you want with it. I love you! Geez, I finally get to say it out loud! I love you Renesmee!"
All the while my heart began to beat madly, and my smile wrapped itself around my face. Jake loved me! I already knew he did, but to hear it from him was something entirely different. It was a sensation I had never known before, and I could only imagine what it would feel like when he told me in person…
"Jake, where are you?" I blurted out. I glanced immediately towards the door, knowing that was exactly the question that could get me in trouble…but daddy didn't come through. I waited anxiously for his answer, knowing he would've also been warned not to tell me, but still, there was always the slightest chance…
"Nessie," he said, already apologizing—damnit!—"You know I can't tell you that, really, I wish you were with me too, but it's just too dangerous right now—"
"Jacob Black," I interrupted him, no longer caring, "you will tell me where you are! I just professed my love to you and you can't give me the one thing I want?"
"But—but—"
I knew it was unfair to be asking him this, I knew that any moment daddy would walk in and snatch the phone away…but I also knew that I loved him, unconditionally, and if there was any chance, any at all, of getting to him, I would take it.
"Jake, please?" I begged, using the coaxing simper I knew he could never resist.
"Uh—um—I guess if—but no—well, maybe—uh—"
"That is quite enough," said another 'not-Jake' voice.
"Hey!" I growled, turning aggressively toward the perpetrator, but it was Jasper who now held the phone over his head and away from me.
"I wasn't done talking to him!" I roared, angry tears rolling down. Jasper shook his head at me at the same time that daddy walked in with a nod of disapproval.
Ugh! Stupid mind reading power!
"Nessie? Nessie? Aw come on, I can't have lost reception already?" Jake's frenzied voice.
"Nessie, are you going to cooperate?" the vampire I once called 'daddy' asked me quietly.
I snarled at him for a few seconds, knowing I was going to lose this battle, but suddenly my anger seemed to vanish into thin air, my thoughts turning calm. It helped me rationalize, and so I nodded, eyeing Jasper suspiciously nonetheless.
"Ok, then," said daddy, "go ahead and say good-bye then. I think that's enough for today."
"But—"
He arched an eyebrow at me and I sighed, then I looked back at him. "For today? I get to talk to him again?" I asked excitedly.
Daddy and Jasper exchanged glances. It was Jasper who spoke. "As long as it's not too often, maybe twice a week or so, I think we should be ok—"
I squealed.
"As long as," he continued, "you, like Edward said, cooperate."
"Ok, ok," I said hastily, "give it back."
He handed me the phone back and I breathlessly called out to Jake.
"Yeah, I'm still here. So I get to hear your beautiful voice twice a week. Awesome!" said Jake, excitement tinged all over his voice.
"I know!" I exclaimed, noting how unbelievably giddy I was sounding. "But I guess you really can't tell me where you are then, huh?"
He sighed, both of our momentary highs plummeting. "No, I can't, sweetie, sorry."
We both sighed again, and then stuttered for the awkward good-bye.
"Jake—"
"Ness—"
We laughed. "You first," I said, eyeing daddy and Jasper meaningfully. They nodded and left me alone once again.
"Nessie," he began, "just don't forget that I'll always love you, I'll always be there for you—well, except for the obvious," he laughed, referring to our current state, "and also that knowing you feel the same way for me, well, a fraction of it anyway—"
"Hey!"
"Ok, ok ," he laughed at my exclamation, "knowing that you feel exactly the same for me as I with you, it makes me the happiest guy in the world. And…I know they said we can talk again soon, but just in case, I want to promise you something, are you listening?"
"Yes," I answered, slightly out of breath.
"I promise that I will return to you, my beautiful and perfect Renesmee," he said, "and the first thing I'm going to do when I see you is give you the kiss I've been waiting all my life to give to the girl of my dreams. How does that sound?"
I hadn't realized I was holding my breath, so I let it out in a long 'whoosh' before being able to answer. "Sounds perfect," I croaked—apparently I hadn't noticed I was crying all over again either.
"You ok?' he asked worriedly. I struggled to get my sobs in control, taking another deep breath before speaking.
"Yeah, I'm fine, just," another sniffle, "overwhelmed. I don't know how I didn't see it before, now it's too late—"
"No it's not," he interrupted me sternly, "never think that, Ness. I promised you and I will keep that promise, understand?"
I nodded, forgetting to speak. With his silence I remembered. "Yes, Jake, I understand."
"That's my girl," he said soothingly, again I could see his brilliant smile.
"Jake," I said, almost desperately, "I like your promise, and I—I promise that I'll be here when you get back, from where ever you are. I—I," I paused, attempting to control my endless sobs, "I love you, Jake."
I heard a sniffle on the other end, reiterating my own as the end of our short phone call finally came.
"I'll be awaiting your call, Ness," he said huskily.
"Me too," I said, then added, "but me calling you that is."
We laughed and cried again for another set of seconds, finally subsiding opposite the racing of our hearts.
"I love you, Jake."
"I love you, Nessie."
Review! What did you think of Nessie's, if somewhat awkward, revelation to Jake? No point in ranting now, lol, I want to hear what you all think, so let me know. Coming up, the other POV's I mentioned in the previous chapter, a beginning of the 'plan' unfolds (where Jeanine's gift/identity will finally be revealed) and some more 'funnies'. This may be within the next five chapters or so, so we'll see how that goes. One reviewer asked me for a time line, and to be honest, I myself am not sure exactly what is going to happen in exact order, but I can tell you *sob* that this story is probably more than half-way done (unless I decide to drag it out some more…hmmm? What do you think?), and if things go according to plan, I will have finished it by late June/early July…it makes me want to cry :_( but we all must go on I suppose…anyway, ( so much for not ranting, haha) review, review! I will update quicker if you do ;) thanks I love you all!