A/N A huge thanks to my very dear friend OoJasper'sAngeloO for her beta skills and my pre-reader sinfulroad69. Without them this wouldn't be any good. Here, we find out what Bella is really thinking and feeling and why she's feeling what she is. We also find out what happens in the restaurant she found. For those who don't live in Texas or have never been to the Dallas area, the restaurant is very real and is exactly as I described it. They have the best steaks and chili there. Hope you enjoy.
I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.
Bella's POV
My life is a fucking mess. My father is dead because he was trying to protect me from those he wouldn't have ever stood a chance against. The girls are dead having died horrible deaths all because of that stupid boy who seems to think that he can do whatever the fuck he wants with me and my life.
I'm stuck with the hottest fucking vampire I have ever met and now all I want is a chance to fuck Edward up. The Major is refusing to do what I want him to do, at least for now. It didn't take me very long to figure out which buttons to push with him, but it does hurt that apparently I'm not good enough for him, but I refuse to let him know that is why I'm feeling hurt. He thinks its because of what happened with my dad and the girls.
I do feel their loss greatly. I just wish that I was good enough to be with the Major. So now I have three secrets I'm keeping to myself. The dreams that I had about him, the reason for my pain and then there's another one that it took me some time to figure it out, but I finally got there.
The Major thinks he's so fucking smart. Don't get me wrong, he is probably the smartest vampire I know about most things that is. I find it very easy to get him to play right into my hands. At least that is what I was hoping to do when I got away from Peter and Char at the bar.
I had watched the guy I went with, try to drug a girl that was sitting alone. I approached him with an offer of very hot sex and he was hooked. I told him that the couple I had come with were busy and practically dragged his ass out to his car. Since I had the Major's credit card, we went to the nearest motel.
I was determined that either the Major would find me and stop me and then fuck me, or I would lose my virginity by this guy and then maybe I could at least get the Major to bite me. I just didn't want to be turned as a virgin. Char and I had had several long talks.
She had told me about some of the females that she had seen turned before having sex. The hymen always grew back, so sex was never pleasurable for them. Maria, the Major's sire, had decided that in order to have better control over the females, to make sure they were virgins before being turned. They never wanted sex and any males that would try would die trying.
Now I know you want to know how in the fuck I got my ass away from two very dangerous vampires. Here's how it happened. I had been looking for a guy to come on to in the hopes that the Major would get jealous and finally take me somewhere and fuck me. At the very least, even if it was a human male, I could lose my virginity and then maybe he would turn me.
I was sitting at a table in the back with both Peter and Char there. I told them I had to use the lady's room and quickly made like that's where I was going. I also told them it might be a few minutes before I got back. They wouldn't be looking for me for at least long enough to pick up the guy and get the fuck out of here.
They bought the lie and it was like hook, line and sinker. I was out the fucking door and in the guys car almost at vampire speed. It bothered me that the Major wouldn't be my first, but it couldn't be helped. I had done everything Char had told me to do and he was still keeping his fucking distance.
Char had told me to just be patient with him and he would eventually come around. She said that he was wanting to fuck me, but was having some issues with himself. I already knew this of course, but it was interesting to hear it voiced out loud by someone else.
The more time that went by the more it hurt though. Yeah, I had been stupid and found myself falling in love with the meanest vampire ever. He seemed to only get meaner at times and other times he seemed to soften. Of course I would never tell his ass that, he would fucking beat it again. But my longing and desire for him seemed to make him worse instead of better.
I will say that after hearing their story of how they were turned and especially his story I think I understand him better. Taking into account his story and my dreams I knew exactly what his problem was, but it didn't stop it from hurting when he would distance himself from me.
When we decided to stay in Dallas a couple of days I went online to look up places to visit. When I found the restaurant I just knew that I HAD to get him to take me there. It seemed to be innocent enough unless he looked into it before going. Once there it would be one of two things.
Operation seduce Major Whitlock, or operation get fucked by any male willing to deflower me. Wow, what an old fashioned word. I guess the Major is driving me fucking crazier than I would have thought. Either way I was determined that I was gonna get me some. Then I was gonna try to get him to turn me. I needed to fuck Edward up in a bad way.
The thing is that I needed it to be the Major. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted Edward. Most of the time I was fighting to keep from just throwing myself on him and slamming down on his cock. I wanted him to touch me and when I had nightmares and he came in and did hold me I would cry.
He always thought it was the nightmares that made me sad and cry. He was wrong. It was because I wanted him to hold me because he cared about me, loved me. I cried because I wanted him and apparently I wasn't good enough for him. I wanted to show him what it was like to be truly loved, but he didn't want that. He had told me that love was a waste of time for him. It would show that he was weak and that was the one thing he could never be.
I did notice that he was almost constantly aroused. How could I not notice. He was a very large male and his erections couldn't be hidden most of the time. I had even offered to help him with his problem by giving him a blow job, but apparently I'm not even good enough to do that for him.
The place we were going to is called Trail Dust. Its a western themed restaurant that has a bar as well as a dance floor with live bands at night. Its open all day and you can go there and eat, drink and dance all at the same time. Although very few people actually danced during the day. They serve steaks and burgers mostly, but had other items.
I was going to get as fucking drunk as I could while eating and dancing with other males. I was hoping that the Major would get jealous enough to finally give in and take me. The being drunk might just help with any pain of it being my first time. If I have to fuck a human, I guess I'll live with it. Maybe once its been done he'll turn me and then maybe I'll be good enough for him.
Of course I could be just fucking kidding myself. The first time I tried to lose my virginity he ended up sucking the idiot dry right in front of me. I think he did it to try to get me to realize just how dangerous it was to fuck with him. I wasn't afraid and to be honest seeing him in full vampire mode was a huge turn on for me. Yeah, I must be sick.
I was going to get dressed up when he came out of the bathroom. Peter and Char had their own room and so it was just him and I. He of course came out in nothing but a towel. He fucking knew what he was doing as he fucking dropped the towel and spent the next ten minutes walking around completely naked.
He combed his hair and then searched for the clothes he was going to wear. What he didn't realize was that two can play that game. I dropped the bathrobe I had on and only had on a pair of very tiny thongs, no bra and I turned and asked him if I should wear this thong or should I go commando, at which point I took off the thong.
Yeah, I got him. He wouldn't turn around after that and I knew it was because he didn't want to see how hard I had made him. Again he thought he was gonna fucking get to me, but he has met his fucking match when he met me. I took the clothes I was planning on wearing into the bathroom telling him that it was decided, I was going commando.
When I came out of the bathroom the first thing that happened was the growl that came out of his mouth. That along with his erection made me think I might just have a chance yet, but he moved faster than I could keep up with and was standing in front of me with a pair of panties that I hadn't worn since I left Forks. His only words, "Put these on or we don't go." He growled.
Boy was he fucking sexy when he growled. Sadly though I really wanted to go so I had to put the fucking panties on. Maybe I can get him to growl some more. The only problem with that is that even though I just got out of the shower myself my panties were soaked almost the second I put them on. I knew he could smell me as he was trying very hard to control himself. Good, maybe I can get him in my bed before the evening is over.
To say that the evening didn't go quite as planned would have been an understatement. As soon as we got there he tried to get Peter and Char to agree to leave. He said that there were too many fucking males sending their lust towards us girls. He said he didn't want to end up having to kill all of them.
Asshole, he just wanted to ruin my fun. I guess even though he clearly didn't want me that he didn't want me to have fun either. I would show his ass. Of course I had a fake ID and it showed that I was twenty-one and could drink. I told them I wanted a table close to the back. When I got up I didn't want to make it easy for the vampires in the room to see what I was up to right away.
I made sure to let the other males in the room know that I was single. Asshole tried to make it seem like I was already taken. I ordered a steak, along with a margarita and found that I fucking loved the drink and immediately ordered them to keep on coming. At least I wouldn't feel anything when I was forced to have to lose my virginity to a fucking human. I so badly wanted Jasper.
Yeah, but if he wasn't going to take that which has been offered to him I was going to lose myself in drinking and hopefully wild sex with someone. At least some of the human males wanted me. Maybe if I drink enough, I'll forget how much I fucking care about this vampire and the fact that he doesn't want me.
Even though I did take time to eat, I still got drunk and was flirting with every guy I could. After the first dance, which I found I could actually do this fucking country dancing shit, I was asked for dances with just about every single guy in the place.
The Major was getting very fucking pissed off. He was growling almost every time someone asked me to dance. Then he changed tactics and started to scare the guys away just with his fucking gift. So I changed tactics, I moved my lil' ass to the bar. I told him he could keep his ass away from me as he didn't want it I was going to let someone else have it.
Peter kept him from whatever it was that he thought he was going to do. I just went over to the bar and it took only a minute for me to have my drinks being paid for and guys flirting with me. Just what the doctor ordered, at least my doctor.
It took me a fucking hour to finally figure out that all of my admirers were disappearing one at a time. I decided it was time to check out where they were going and found that the Asshole was saying something to them to make them leave not only me but the bar.
He finally came over just as I had found a really hot looking human that I was hoping to get into bed. He ordered me to come with him. I told him that since he didn't want to fuck me, then I was going to let this very hot looking guy have his way with me. Yeah so I was very fucking drunk.
He grabbed me by my arm and that's when all hell broke loose. The guy was I guess going to defend me and went to take a swing at Jasper. Of course he missed, but Jasper didn't. He grabbed the guys arm and snapped it easily. Great, now I was responsible for this asshole hurting someone who was only trying to help me.
I just turned and ran out. Well, okay it was more like stumble out, I was drunk. I didn't make it very far before the asshole was in front of me clearly pissed off. I didn't care. I had had enough of his ass and told him to just leave me the fuck alone.
What he did next shocked the shit out me. He grabbed me around my waist and pulled me into his body. Next thing I know he's giving me the hottest most searing kiss I have ever had. My only thoughts, "Hell Yeah!". . .
A/N Please tell me what you think. The next chapter the Major blows it big time and proves just how much of an asshole he is. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and added this story to their favorites and alerts, love you guys.