Cersei summoned Jaime in her chambers.
It was either business or his cock that she wanted, Jaime knew. Maybe even both.
But he was in the mood for neither.
Somehow, it felt wrong when Brienne was in the same castle as he is
Though it never bothered him before.
He'll go for the former anyway.
Tommen still needs him after all.
…
"There's wildfire in the sept," Cersei told him. "I've conjured up a plan to destroy our enemies."
Jaime's eyes widened.
"You're not-,"
"Yes, I am, sweet brother," Cersei chuckled as she slowly and seductively strode toward Jaime. "In fact, I've had Qyburn about to set up the arrangements just before you came in."
"Who else knows about this?" Jaime said through gritted teeth.
"Just him," she hummed as she massaged Jaime's tense shoulders. "Maybe his little birds, too."
Jaime's seat scraped and he fled off to the dungeons where he knew the non-maester worked.
…
Jaime caught up with Qyburn near the dungeons.
"My lord," Qyburn greeted.
"Who else knows about the location of the wildfire?" Jaime asked.
"Why?" Qyburn looked skeptical.
"Her Grace insisted on secrecy," Jaime deadpanned.
"Just me, but I'm on my way to tell my little birds-"
As Jaime withdrew the blade from the man's belly, all he could think of is relief that he wouldn't have to kill children. Cersei made him do the worst things-even if this time it was against and not for her. He didn't want to kill the man who had helped him heal his stump but Qyburn was a shady man in the first place. The latest member of the Kingsguard is proof of that.HHe
…
It took many of the Lannister forces to bring Ser Robert Strong down, and even then, many perished. But Jaime needed to get rid of the brute because he knew he will get in the way should things turn badly when he'll confront his sister
…
Jaime stormed the throne room with Brienne, Bronn and Podrick behind him. He found his sister seated on the Iron Throne. She was swirling a glass of wine in her hand.
"Thank the gods. I heard the commotion outside, please tell me-," Cersei stopped when she noticed her brother stomping toward her with a furious expression and a blade.
...-ooO0Ooo-…..
"Jaime…"
Her voice seemed to snap Jaime back to reality. Brienne had been worried about Jaime ever since he and Cersei were sent to the Wall.
"Pardon, my lady. I was lost in thought," Jaime replied.
You are always lost in thought ever since Daenerys, she wanted to say.
"You need not worry about it, Jaime," Brienne said instead. "Cersei had told me worse things."
Jaime wrinkled his nose.
"You sure? You looked horrified." Jaime gently rested his left hand on Brienne's right one.
Brienne sighed. It really was. Though what Cersei had done made her extremely uncomfortable, but she felt like his twin needed it somehow.
"I don't think you know your sister very well," Brienne suddenly blurted out. She almost made a sound when Jaime retracted his hand from hers. She looked at Jaime and saw that he's keeping his emotions guarded. Regret filled Brienne's chest. "I-I'm sorry, ser," she began stuttering. "I didn't mean- It's not my place."
Jaime gave her a small smile. She didn't understand that smile on him though- which is ironic since she just told him he doesn't know his sister yet she herself doesn't fully understand Jaime either.
"Do enlighten me, wench," Jaime said. "What do you think about our whole situation?"
Jaime claimed that he had forgiven her, but his voice had a hint of anger.
It was between her and Jaime. I shouldn't have interfered.
"Well, answer me," he demanded.
Brienne really didn't want to answer him. It was so fragile- whatever it was between them. There's also Cersei with them so it made things worse. Associating yourselves with the Lannisters is like treading on broken glass.
Surprisingly, she heard herself speak.
"You both are stuck in an illusion."
Jaime cocked his brow.
"Cersei tells me. She… fucked…" Brienne couldn't help but momentarily glare at Jaime's snickers as she said the uncomfortable word. "…you because she thought she could be you. You thought that you and her are what love is."
"She, the maiden and I, the warrior," Jaime pointed out.
"But did you ever ask each other what you want?" Brienne continued as if ignoring his comment, but she's noting it. "Did you talk about deep things other than how much you love each other? You are a knight, Ser Jaime. I know your reasons for taking the white was for her. I know because I became Kingsguard for Renly, too. But I also love sword fighting and being a knight. I know you do, too."
She was assuming the latter part but she is sure of the first. That is one thing they have in common. They left their home, their inheritance as head of their Houses to join the Kingsguard. All for love.
How badly it had turned out for them both.
But you found someone else to love, Brienne's mind whispered. She smote the cursed thought away. Jaime and Cersei may have illusions about each other, but part of them will always ache for each other. Maybe not Cersei. Brienne had an inkling about Cersei.
"And Cersei. I pity her," Brienne said.
"Why?" Jaime asked with a genuine confusion.
"In case you haven't noticed, we, women, don't exactly have a high opinion in society," Brienne explained. "We're treated as cattle to be sold to the highest bidder and to bring forth heirs. That seems to be our only function."
"You left," Jaime weakly pointed out.
"Yes, but it is a constant cloud looming above me that if my father dies and haven't married anyone else, I will have to step up as Lady of Tarth. I will have to take a husband and bring forth heirs to continue the family legacy."
Brienne shuddered at the thought. It was the first time she had voiced this worry.
"But I love wearing armor and clutching a blade in my hand. I love swinging it and beating men to the dust."
I love fighting beside you, her mind whispered and she grimaced physically at her own thought.
"That's my girl," Jaime chuckled, and for a moment she scrunched her face in confusion at his words before continuing.
"I think Cersei feels as if the only way she can attain power is what is between her legs." Bronn had told Jaime about Cersei fucking other men to get what she wants. She felt Jaime's hand curl at her arm for a moment before mumbling about Cersei about to do worse if they hadn't stopped her. "She has no physical advantage like me. She had to give up her dignity to get people to have her do what she wants."
"So you think what she did was right?" Jaime's voice was so dangerously low that it almost scared Brienne, but she had to make him understand.
"I'm not saying that her methods were right. She had done terrible wrongs, just as you have, too." She could see Jaime flinch, so she had to add, "I do not mean that you won't change. I just think that what she's done is an outlet of her frustration. Your sister is being dismissed easily because she is a woman. I don't think she enjoyed… sleeping with other men."
"What are you getting at?" Jaime was confused now, but Brienne had never been good with words.
"I-I think your sister might be like a different Renly. Cersei likes to be a man," Brienne finally said. "And perhaps likes w-women."
Jaime was silent. He looked like he was processing her words.
"My sweet sister wanted to be me. Just like Tyrion," Jaime muttered absentmindedly then his eyes widened as if he was realizing something. "You mean to tell me it wasn't a jest when my sister said she kissed you?"
Of all things Jaime had to understand from that conversation, it had to be that. Brienne folded her legs up and buried her face in it.
"She looked sad, okay?" Brienne groaned into her thighs.
"Cersei kissed you? No wonder you looked horrified when I saw you," Jaime said laughing.
Brienne finally showed her face, only to glare at Jaime.
"I didn't kiss her back," she protested. "She looked so sad and I thought that if I let her do it, she'd figure herself out. I know Renly's discrimination and how it affected him and Ser Loras. Cersei, as mad as she might be, she needs someone who won't judge her and encourage her to finding herself- her good self. I just thought-,"
Suddenly, Jaime craned his neck and smashes his lips against hers.
Jaime, what are you doing to me?
Just as she had with Cersei, Brienne didn't react to Jaime's kiss, but her mind was whispering traitorous thoughts. Open your mouth, Brienne. Tangle your tongue with his. Bite his lip as you have seen others do. But she wouldn't. Jaime could never possibly-
Brienne broke away quickly.
"Don't play with me, ser," she warned, not looking at his face. "Your sister is cruel but you are my friend. You'd never be so cruel as to play with my feelings."
"Am I only your friend, Brienne?" Jaime asked. His voice cracked at the sudden gentleness of his tone.
"You are my dearest friend, Ser Jaime," Brienne said. Every word seemed to cause her chest to tighten. "And I do not wish that our friendship will be broken because of a stupid jape."
"I'm not japing, Brienne," Jaime mumbled. "I'm sorry if I seem so abrupt about my feelings."
Brienne couldn't process what he means. Almost everything in her screamed that this wasn't real, yet that tiny voice in her mind whispered, he loves you. But she couldn't find herself saying it to him. Her heart was guarded and she was certain Jaime was misguided with his concern for her and only saw her as a friend.
"Gods, wench, do you really want me to say it?" Jaime growled as he got up and knelt on one knee. He pulled her right hand with his left and let it rest on his golden hand, then let his remaining hand rest on top and looked up at her with such strong emotion.
"I love you, Brienne," he said. "You are the moon and stars of my dark sky. The light that guides my way-"
"Jaime, I-,"
"Do you want me to scream louder, Brienne?"
"Jaime, no," she protested as he moved to stand up. She gripped his leg as he cupped his hand around his mouth. "Will you sit down?" she hissed.
"Not until you answer one question," Jaime growled in demand. His emerald eyes fiercely bore into her sapphire ones. "Do you love me?"
Her mind was screaming. It was hard to ignore now.
But she could only mumble affirmation.
"What did you say, Brienne?" Jaime asked softly.
"I- I love you, okay?" she almost screamed. "But you'll never love me. You love your sister- no matter if it's a strange illusion of love, it is still a deeply rooted love. You did for your whole life and not even I or even her can change that. You may be mad at her now but when she's a better person, you would worship her again."
"And here I thought we know each other too well," Jaime said with a soft tone she didn't understand. Brienne only turned away- embarrassed at her sudden confession. She could feel Jaime sit down beside her- closer this time. He gently grabbed her chin so their eyes would meet.
"You, my lady, are living an illusion as well," Jaime told her bluntly. "You believe no one will ever love you because of your outward appearance. But I do. I do terribly love you and it hurts. I hated having Cersei with us because I knew she would only get in the way. She is selfish and scheming and will tear apart everything to keep you away from me. I was also mad that you were the reason why she was brought along. Complications."
"Did I intervene too much in the throne room?" Brienne had to ask.
...-ooO0Ooo-…..
"Jaime, no," Brienne begged.
"Have you lost your manhood coming here as well, brother?" Cersei sneered. "You can't even kill a bloody woman. Maybe it's your beast here that made you fear all women."
Jaime growled. Rage overcame and he didn't hear anything. Just Cersei's mocking laughter. His sword poised to thrust through his sister's body.
Then, he felt a hand around his arm.
"I won't let you do this."
He turned his head around and saw shining sapphire eyes.
"Brienne, let go," Jaime commanded. "She has committed treason against the crown."
She was almost at loss with words when Jaime roughly pulled away.
Then, the warning bells tolled in the distance.
...-ooO0Ooo-…..
"Why did you stop me?" Jaime only asked.
"I just- I didn't think you would live with yourself if you did it. She is your… sister after all," Brienne only answered.
"Cersei was going to destroy everyone with wildfire. I did the same thing to Aerys, I would've done the same to her," Jaime seethed.
"Regardless, you barely handled being Kingslayer. What if you were Kinslayer?" Brienne murmured.
Jaime sighed. "I won't regret saving the people, but I wouldn't want to burden Tommen. He might not be able to handle losing his mother. Tommen is a sweet child. Too pure for the likes of this world."
Brienne tried to decipher his expression. His features looked worn and the lines on his face looked deep in the little light they have.
"You are too good for this world, too, my lady." Jaime suddenly said. "You are willing to see the good in others. Yet you are wary as well,"
Wary? What was he talking about? Weren't they talking about his sister and Tommen?
"And understandably so," he continued "And regardless of our feelings for each other, I can see that I have to work hard to gain your trust."
"I trust you," Brienne stubbornly huffed.
"As a soldier and a friend, but not… this," Jaime continued. "I'm no good with this. I've never been, but I know I feel it."
"Jaime, you don't have to-"
She tried to reason that it was just grief but he cut her off.
"Promise me one thing though, my lady."
Brienne didn't answer.
"Live."
"What?" She heard him and knew the word but she didn't understand why he demanded such a thing from her.
"Live," he said again. "Whatever will come, even if they put us in different units, come back to me alive as soon as it's all over."
She could feel her chin wobble at how touched she was.
"Then we'll truly sort ourselves out after this," Jaime said.
"You'll live, too, right?" Brienne found herself asking.
"Of course, wench," Jaime winked. "How can I woo you from beyond the grave?"
"You're probably going to haunt me, the stubborn annoying man you are," Brienne huffed and Jaime chuckled at this. She liked hearing him chuckle at her japes.
"True but I'd rather be with you… in warm flesh."
Brienne looked at him and she saw him wink. She blushed when she understood the implication.
"But as I said, I will have to earn my way to prove that I'm serious about… us," he said seriously.
"Okay then, I promise," she said.
"I promise, too," Jaime just added.
They were silent for a little while, both processing what in seven hells just happened to their conversation, until Jaime cleared his throat.
"Where's Oathkeeper?" he suddenly asked and she thought that he finally wanted his sword back and scrambled to unbuckle it.
"My, my wench, I thought we were taking this slowly," Jaime japed.
"What? No!" Brienne exclaimed, as her hands stilled. She felt her face heat up. "Don't you want the sword back?"
"When I told you it's yours and will always be yours, I didn't mean the sword, you know," Jaime whispered.
Her eyes demanded answers.
"I was talking about myself, Brienne," he said. "Oathkeeper is my honor, my heart, and my soul. I'm yours and will always be yours. Though admittedly, I was too stupid to understand what I was saying back then."
Brienne graced him with a small smile.
"Although…"Jaime chimed. "A sword is often used as a symbol for a cock."
"Jaime…"
But he ignored her. "And yours just happens to be sheathed."
"I swear by the Seven, Jaime," she hissed through gritted teeth. "I'll stab myself with this sword."
But this only seemed to add more fuel. "Were you talking about Oathkeeper through my guts or my co- ow!"
She wacked him across the chest, and Jaime had to wheeze his laughter.
"Alright, alright, I'm done," he surrendered, holding up his hands- both real and golden.
"You're impossible," she huffed.
"But you love me anyway."
By the old gods and new, she did so badly.
"I suppose," she sighed in affirmation.
Author's Note: After 84 years I finally finished this. XD This became harder to write after some realization (more like I've been reading too much JB forum) that Cersei is an irredeemable psycho but ssshhh this is fanfic and I already said she's ooc XD Also, I like the idea of Brienne bringing out the good in others.
Epilogue will be a little later as well because school and my muse tends to withdraw because school. Also because I have so many fanfic commitments.
I hope you liked reading this mess lol.