Chapter 12

Dedication: Everyone who followed and favourited.

Note: Okay, so this is deeeefinitely not my best work, but stick around because infuriating as it might be, the end of this chapter holds a little surprise. There's a biiiig plot twist coming! Once you're done, review and tell me your theories and ideas and what you think is going to happen in the next chapter. Believe me, it's a lot worse than it looks. ;)

Ps. I'm glad you guys liked Badass Bonnie. This is not the last you've seen of her ;)

Damon felt relief flood through his body. He could move again. The first thing he did was rush toward Bonnie and hug her. Finally, he could feel her skin against his again. He felt his heart leap out of his chest every time he was near her. It was amazing, but he knew, deep down that it could never happen. He could never be that selfish.

Bonnie was beaming from ear-to-ear when they pulled away. Her whole face had lit up like it always did when she smiled genuinely.

"I read your letters," Bonnie said, clearly waiting for an explanation.

"They were… nothing," Damon said, making Bonnie's smile disappear. But he knew that she could tell that he was flat-out lying to her face. They stared at each other for a moment. Damon had so many things he wanted to say, but he felt that silence was the best way to go about this.

"How about we go find Stefan?" Bonnie said, evidently disappointed but trying not to show it.

They didn't have to look that far.

Stefan was waiting right outside the room with his arms crossed.

"By the time I got to you, you were reading the letters in the other room," he said, sounding almost annoyed.

Damon frowned. Why on earth didn't Stefan try to help Bonnie at all?

Bonnie apologised absent-mindedly and then followed Stefan down the corridor.

When they got out of the house, Bonnie was completely avoiding looking at Damon. She simply got into the back seat of his car and stared out of the window until they reached the airport. Stefan went to get the tickets, leaving Bonnie and Damon alone.

"Look, Bonnie –" Damon began, noticing her avoiding him.

"Don't do that," she said softly. "Don't pretend it's nothing." Damon was angry now. She knew very well how many reasons he had to do just that.

"Bonnie, I'm dangerous," he said, flaring up. "How many times do I have to show you? I'm dangerous, I'm compulsive and I will hurt you if you let me. That's who I am. Everything I have ever done, I have done for me. So, tell me, does it really matter if the letters were something? Does it change anything?" It was intended as a rhetorical question, but being as stubborn as she was meant that she had to answer it.

"Yes," she said, as if it was obvious.

"No! It doesn't matter, Bonnie! Does it change the fact that I turned your mother into a vampire? Does it change the fact that I left you when you had no one else? Nothing matters at this point. It's too late." Bonnie glared at him.

"You're right, it doesn't," she said, surprising Damon. "Nothing will ever change the past, but that doesn't mean we're not entitled to a future." With that, she stood up, walked past Damon towards Stefan who was buying the tickets.

On the plane, the pair barely even spoke. Bonnie was sitting in the aisle seat and Damon was in the window seat with Stefan sitting between them, casually reading 'Pride and Prejudice'. Damon stared at the seat in front of him, careful not to look anywhere else. He did this for the rest of the flight, not daring to even glance at Bonnie.

Bonnie refused to write another letter to nobody, yet she also refused to talk to him. To tell him everything and try to fix all the damage. But, she knew that no matter what they did, they couldn't fix any of it.

Again, he'd pretended his decision to not do anything about the incidents in the past few months was for Bonnie's well-being. It wasn't. It was for him. He would never be able to live with himself for betraying Elena.

They landed and made their way to Bonnie's New York apartment. She hoped she had hidden the letters safely before she left. But who cared anymore if he read them. It wouldn't change a thing.

"I'm sorry," Damon whispered to her when they reached.

"I know," Bonnie rolled her eyes. "You mentioned that about a thousand times in your letters."

"That's not what I mean. I'm sorry about…. This."

"You don't need to be," Bonnie said. "I was right the first time. You're never going to be someone I can count on and that's okay. I have others. I have Enzo."

She unlocked the door to her apartment and said "Come in," allowing Damon inside, although she really wished he would just leave already.

"You guys need some alone time," Stefan said with a smile. "I'll catch up with you later, Damon." Stefan went back downstairs.

What she'd said about Enzo had really hurt Damon. He didn't show it, but it had. And now, all he wanted was to escape the apartment as fast as he could, but his feet were frozen to the floor.

"Hey, there is some good news," Bonnie said awkwardly. She pointed her fingers at a pillow and it flew towards her. "I have my powers back." Damon nodded, a fake smile plastered onto his face.

"Okay, we can't just talk about that, clearly," Bonnie said, sighing.

"Yeah, I'm just going to go," Damon said standing up.

"What you do best," Bonnie muttered. Obviously she had forgotten about his vampire hearing. He felt guilt stab through him; followed by rage.

"Bonnie, what do you want me to say?" Damon asked, angrily. "Do you want me to apologise again? Do you want me to say I was to be with you? Do you want me to tell you I love you? Don't you see, it's because I love you that I can't say any of those things?"

"Oh, bullshit," Bonnie spat, but felt her chest burn. "You know what, you were right. We should just forget about all of this."

There was a pause and then Damon nodded. "It would never work, Bonnie. You know that. We would blow each other up in the end."

He was right. They would end up destroying one another. Yet, they were the only ones who could save one another, too.

When Bonnie didn't respond, Damon walked out and slammed the door behind him out of frustration.

There were so many reasons why they could never be together.

Her best friend was his girlfriend.

She was the only one keeping Damon and Elena apart.

Damon was infuriatingly impulsive and whenever he was involved, she was, too.

Enzo was always there for her when she needed her, not Damon.

The list went on and on. Elena and Damon were the perfect yin and yang; Bonnie and Damon went further than that. They were absolutely wrong for each other, yet through the years, they'd always found their way back to one another.

And now, they were closer to each other than they had been in months, yet Bonnie couldn't help but feel like they were further away than they had ever been.

Knock.

Just one single knock on the door.

She went to open it.

It was Stefan. He smiled solemnly at her. "I'm sure Stefan would feel pretty bad about this," he said, before everything went black.