A/N A huge thanks goes to my dear friend OoJasper'sAngeloO for her beta work and my pre-reader sinfulroad69, I love you both. Alright, the last couple of chapters made everyone very pissed off at Jasper. This one, we get to see what has been going on with him, and we all get to see him suffer some for his actions. But I have a feeling that some readers may just get very upset with Bella. Hope you enjoy.

I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

Peter's POV

Of course things didn't quite work out like I had planned they would. I was gonna rip his ass apart and hope like hell that he wouldn't burn my ass. I have never been able to beat him. I have only ever been able to hold my own without either of us actually winnin', until he got tired of our game and quickly took me out.

We had a signal that we have used since I started trainin' with him when we were with Maria. Any vampire that got their teeth close enough to the neck, automatically won. Unfortunately for me, he didn't adhere to that in our last fight.

I knew deep down I couldn't win against him, but I was gonna try real fuckin' hard to at least fuck him up. I was kind of dependin' on the fact that the separation from his mate was causin' him enough pain that I could do some damage before he ripped me apart again.

If I had known what was gonna happen before it did, I would have never gone after his ass. Yet no tellin' what would have happened if I hadn't. We were only about fifty miles from the house so it took me no time to get there and I went in fightin'.

I went bustin' through the front door only to see the bottom floor empty. I quickly made my way up to his room and found him sittin' in the window seat lookin' out. The house itself was on the higher ledge of a mountain and it looked down over the wooded area leadin' up to the house.

I gave him no chance to attack first and jumped him. Not wantin' to mess up the house because Char had warned me not to mess it up or else, I threw him out the window. Alright, I knew that I would get shit for fuckin' up the window, but I had to get him out before I could really fuck his ass up.

I went out right after his ass. He was still on the ground so I picked him up and threw him into some trees which broke when he hit them. I was on him and had grabbed him by the throat and threw him again. I was on him as soon as he hit the side of the mountain and once again I had him by the throat. I slammed him down hard and then proceeded to punch his face over and over again.

I must have been slow because my brain hadn't caught on yet to what was wrong with this picture. It took me a full minute and breakin' his jaw, nose, shatterin' his cheek bones and chin before I finally realized what was wrong. He was just layin' there takin' everything I was givin' him, without fightin' back.

I yelled at him to fuckin' fight back. I couldn't hurt someone who was refusin' to fight back. He couldn't talk so he just nodded that he wouldn't fight me. I had just pulled my hand back to hit him again and before I went to land the blow I took a good look at his face.

His eyes were black, but not from rage. The bruisin' that usually occurs under the eyes when a vampire doesn't feed were dark. If I could guess, I'd say that he hadn't fed since he had left Bella. I grabbed him by the throat and yelled at him to fight back. He just whispered, "No."

"You fuckin' fight back or I'm goin' to rip your fuckin' head off!" I yelled.

His voice was very strained and he was still havin' trouble talkin' cuz his bones were still healin', but I heard very clearly what he whispered, "I'm not goin' to fight you brother. I deserve to die. I want to die. I. . .I killed my mate, I killed Bella. I can't live without her, so just get it over with, or torture me, just please kill me."

Alright I gotta admit that now I was curious, "What the fuck are you talkin' about?"

I let go of his throat and sat back so he could at least sit up. His next words were a little stronger and yet I could see the intense pain in his eyes, "I got so fuckin' pissed at her. She was basically tellin' me the same shit as you and Char were tellin' me and I hated that I had felt somethin' I have never felt for anyone since I was human. I knew that all three of you were tellin' the truth, but I didn't want to be weak. Bein' in love and bein' loved makes us weak, that's what Maria taught me, but you already know this.

I thought if I pushed her away that it would make the feelin's go away. I didn't mean to cause her to be killed. I couldn't handle the pain so I went back. I was gonna tell her that I'm so fuckin' sorry for hurtin' her like that and that I wanted a chance to show her that somehow, I fell in love with her and that I wanted to be with her. I left the truck with the keys in them and ran back, but when I got there she wasn't there, but there were drag marks, the smell of an animal, bear to be exact and her blood.

I fuckin' pushed her out of the truck to her death. I tried to track the bear. I thought that maybe if I found the bear then I would find Bella, but then I realized that all I would probably find would be parts of her and that I didn't want to see. Killin' the bear wouldn't make it any better so I just came back here. I really expected to see you much sooner than this. Before you kill me, tell me did you track the bear, find her? I just need to know if she died a slow torturous death, or was it a swift death? Please I need to know and I need to die the same way."

It was at this point that I knew that I could do one of two things. I could let him believe that she was dead and then kill his ass, or I could tell him the truth and then leave him on his own. There was a third option. I could tell him the truth and then let him come back with me and see if he could save Bella's life. No matter what happened to him, I wanted Bella to live and he was the only one who could help.

I quickly told him about the last two weeks. I told him that maybe there had been a bear comin' to check out the smell of blood, but he had been too late. We had found her and taken her to a motel about fifty miles back. I told him all about her illness and bein' in the hospital. I told him everything includin' tryin' to get her and another male together and how fuckin' Garrett had fled when he found out she was sick again.

I told him he had two choices. One, he could come back and grovel until she got better and then hope she would give him another chance, or two he could go back, save her life and then get the fuck out of our lives period. It was up to him.

Now although he was a major asshole of epic proportions he is still my brother. I know that he's a man of pride. It was goin' to be very hard for him to allow his emotions to be seen by others and even harder for him to push away what Maria had so long ago ingrained into him, "Love makes you stupid and weak. Its stupid, useless and nothing but a dangerous distraction. Especially for you Jasper. No one could ever love you, you are covered in scars and have become what I intended for you to become, a monster who kills without remorse. I'm the only one who can show you any affection, as well as the only one who would ever want you."

He let me know of his immense relief that Bella was alive for the time bein', yet knowin' that without his presence she would indeed be dead soon. He told me that he would abide by whatever Bella wanted him to do. Even if it meant that she wanted nothin' to do with him after she was healthy once again. At the same time he would openly admit to her that she was indeed his mate and he wanted a chance with her.

With that we both headed back to the motel where both of our mates were, both of us hopin' that Bella would still be alive when we got there. When we were about twenty miles away we stopped so I could call Char and let her know what was goin' on as well as getting' an update on Bella. Then both of us were gonna go huntin' before we actually went to the room.

Bella was still alive, but her fever hadn't gone down, it went up. Char was scared that we were gonna lose her before Jasper could do anything to help her. The doctor had come by the room and set her up with an IV so that she could at least be fed and given more antibiotics. He begged to let him put her back in the hospital, but Char told him to wait until her husband got here.

Char met us outside of the room. She had been able to tell Bella that Jasper was comin' and that he really wanted to see her and talk to her. Bella had simply told Char that if he was goin' to be an asshole that he could just stay away, she wanted to die in peace. The pain on my brother's face told me all I needed to know. He would do whatever was needed to save her, even if afterwards she wanted him to go away.

Char had already told Bella that we were gonna go huntin' and give them some privacy to talk. Both of us understood that for the first time in his vampire life Jasper was goin' to have to let his emotions show and he was gonna have to do some beggin' and grovelin'. I knew him well enough that he really wouldn't care if we heard him, but I wanted to make sure that he could do what was necessary in order to try to get her to want to live without feelin' like he was weak for showin' her how he really felt. I could only hope he wasn't too late.

Major's POV

I knew that I had fucked up big time when I pushed Isabella out of the truck, but I was scared. Afraid that I would be seen as bein' weak. Deep down I had known that Peter and Char and then later Isabella were tellin' the truth, but every fuckin' time I heard fuckin' Maria's words in the back of my mind tellin' me to push her away. That if I accepted her as my mate and loved her that I would become weak and stupid.

The biggest problem is that it was too late. I had already fallen in love with her and every time she tried to be with a male I fought my instincts to just claim her. I hated her for makin' me fall in love and tried to deny it to myself. Peter had warned me, I couldn't get away from it and would eventually have to give in.

I didn't get very far before the pain was so fuckin' bad that I pulled the truck over and just sat there for several hours tryin' to fight my instincts which were tellin' me to go back and get her. I finally got out of the truck only to take off to go huntin'. I was still angry and needed to vent some how. In the end all I did was kill a drug dealer and literally ripped him apart.

I ran to the house and quickly showered and changed. Then I sat for all of about five minutes before I was out the door. I ran all the way back to where I had left her. I needed her more than I needed blood and I knew that it was gonna take a fuckin' lot of "I'm so fuckin' sorry's" to get her to forgive me. If she ever did.

When I got there I could smell bear and her blood. The pain of knowin' that I had left her to die a horrible death was the worst pain I have ever experienced. I sat there where I knew she had laid, feelin' the excruciatin' pain of the loss of my mate. The only person to have truly loved me and didn't care that I was so fuckin' scarred up.

She didn't care what I had done in my past, or what I did now. She didn't care that I was a cold, heartless and cruel bastard. She seemed to be able to look past all of that and see the real me. The one that I refused to show any one except for a very few times to Peter. She seemed to understand me in ways that no one has ever been able to, not even fuckin' Maria.

What in the fuck did I do? I fuckin' push her away and kill her. I guess Maria was fuckin' right about one thing, I always fucked things up. She used to tell me all the time that no one would ever love me because of my scars and the fact that although I could come up with the best battle strategies, I always fucked things up when it came to relationships. I had a bad attitude, which Maria was fuckin' proud of because she helped create the attitude.

After spendin' several days there just overwhelmed with pain I decided that maybe if I went to the house Peter would show up and kill me. So I ran until I reached the house and then went immediately up to the bedroom and sat in the window to wait. I was waitin' for death.

When Peter first crashed into the house I felt relief. Finally I was gonna get what I fuckin' deserved, death. So I just let him beat on me. I guess he finally realized that I wasn't fightin' back and stopped. We had a short discussion and he ended up tellin' me that my mate was alive, but now she was wantin' to die as well.

I begged Peter to let me go back and at least get her to want to live. After that if she wanted nothing to do with me ever again, I would leave and force someone to kill me. I could never live without her and I wasn't gonna fuckin' try either.

When we finally got to the motel where they were stayin' at I could feel Char's mixed emotions. She was beyond pissed at me, but she was also feelin' relief that I was there. She explained that while she had spoken to Isabella and told her that I was comin' back that she hadn't reacted much. She told me it was probably the fever. The only thing she did say was that she fuckin' hoped that I hadn't hurt Peter again.

They waited until I had woken her up before they left. They wanted to make sure that she wasn't goin' to freak out or drop dead when she saw me. Char also warned me that Isabella had an IV in her to feed her and to administer antibiotics. They were to stay in.

I kept my eyes on her as they both left. Her fever was high and she was coughin'. Char did tell me that the doctor left some instructions and that one of the things he had stressed was highly important was the need for her fever to come down quickly, before her organs started shuttin' down. One thing in his instructions was right up my alley.

I slowly approached the bed she was layin' on and as soon as I got to the bed I sunk down on my knees and brought my head level with hers so I could look into her eyes. I needed her to see how sincere I was, without usin' my gift on her.

"Bella, can you hear me darlin'? Please, I need to beg you to forgive me. I was an asshole and I didn't want to accept that you are my mate. I'm ready to accept it and I'll do whatever it will take for you to forgive me. I know that I don't deserve for you to forgive me or give me, give us another chance, but if you'll at least think about it, I promise to show you that I love you and I'll do anything for you. Please darlin', I need you to show me how to learn to love you the way I should have from the beginnin'. Please tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it."

She could barely talk, but I understood the few words she did manage to say,"I need you to save my life first. We'll talk about the rest later."

Her coughin' got worse and she was practically chokin'. I knew that her fever needed to come down first. They were feedin' her and givin' her medicine through her IV, but as long as the fever was ragin' she wouldn't stand a chance of makin' it. I quickly told her what the doctor had said about bringin' down her fever and her words again were whispered, "Then get your fuckin' clothes off and then remove my shirt and get your ass in this bed!"

I quickly stripped down to my jeans and then removed her shirt. She had been wearin' a t-shirt and panties. I climbed in behind her and spooned her body with mine. If her body hadn't of been so fuckin' hot with fever, it would have made me so fuckin' hard for her, but she was sick and I could only hope that the coldness of my body would take the place of packin' her in ice.

I pulled my arms around her body and held her. It felt good, but my concern for her was enough to keep me from wantin' more. I ain't gonna lie and say that I wasn't enjoyin' holdin' her in my arms. She fell asleep soon after I had curled around her and as she slept I laid there wonderin' when she was better if I would be allowed to stay in her life.

I was scared that she would push me away. I needed to talk to Char and find out if she knew of anythin' that I could do to show Isabella how much I need and want her. I can't believe how fuckin' stupid I have been and it could end up costin' me the only thing that I value now, my mate. . .

A/N Please let me know what you think. Has the Major suffered enough or do you think he needs to suffer more? Sorry about the slow update, but I have had a very busy week. For those who follow Wounded Soldier, I am working on the next chapter, and hope to have it finished either today or tomorrow. I'm not making any promises, but I'm going to do my best. Also, for those who are following Seattle Nights, I know that I haven't posted the Epilogue, and that's because it hasn't been written yet. Part of it is because of writer's block, and part because I just haven't found the extra time. I do have some extra time coming up in a couple of weeks but I promise to try to at least start it before then. A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed, and added this story to their favorites and alerts. Love you guys.