A/N To my special friend OoJasper'sAngeloO for her beta work, and my pre-reader sinfulroad69 for telling me like it is, thanks for helping me to make this chapter better. I love you girls. Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

Bella's POV

I don't know how much time has passed. I vaguely remember waking up a few times only to have Jasper make me drink some gatorade. At one point I was woken up when the doctor had come and I had to put my shirt back on.

Jasper had gotten up so that the doctor could check me out. I was still running a high fever so everything was fuzzy. I recall the doctor arguing with someone that I needed to be back in the hospital or I wouldn't survive.

I think that he was told that if my fever hadn't broken by the next day they would bring me in. I think they told the doctor that I had an extreme fear of hospitals and thats why they were reluctant to let me go back.

Shortly after the doctor left I felt Jasper get back into bed being careful about jarring the bed. He curled around me once again after removing my shirt and pulled me gently but closely to his cold body. I think that I sighed just before I went back to sleep.

This time when I woke up it was mainly because of two things. I was soaked in sweat and freezing my ass off. I also needed to use the bathroom badly, the problem was that Jasper was still wrapped around me and while I'm still pissed at him I have to admit that having his arms around me felt so good; even if it was freezing me.

I told Jasper that I needed to use the bathroom. He was reluctant to let go of me but did so allowing me room to get up. I found out just how weak I actually was when as I tried to stand, my legs went out from under me.

Of course Jasper had caught me before I could fall. He quickly got the stand with the bags that were feeding into the IV in my arm and managed to get me to the bathroom. He asked if he could help me and I knew that without his help I might end up on the floor peeing on myself.

I nodded to him and he came to stand in front of me. He put his hands under my arms and lifted me up just slightly. I was able to pull my panties down and then he set me down gently until I was seated. He then told me to yell for him when I was done, that he was going to give me some privacy.

I'm sure that the expression on my face was a 'What the fuck' look. I sat there kind of surprised that he would actually leave me alone. Normally if there was anything that involved me being naked anywhere, he was there to watch.

I quickly took care of business and then told him I was done. He came in and had my shirt as well as some sweat pants for me to put on. He said that Peter and Char were back and had some soup for me to eat and some bottled water. Even though I was being fed through the IV the doctor told them to have me eat some soup if I woke up.

I got up with his help and he held me from behind and kept his head turned away from me. He ended up having to hold me up so that I could get dressed. I was then once again carried back out with him guiding the stand.

I was laid back on the bed, but once he had the stand fixed he helped me to sit up so I could eat. He sat beside me and held the bowl while I ate. When I wanted a drink of the water he handed it to me. I was asked several times if I was feeling better and it finally hit them that I must be better as I had finished the whole bowl and was still hungry.

Peter went out to get me some more and I asked Char if she could help me take a shower. I was feeling a little stronger after getting some food in my stomach, but I wasn't sure if I could stand long enough to shower. I needed to talk to Jasper and I needed to feel clean and fresh before doing so.

Char helped me get undressed and into the shower. She brought one of the chairs from the table in the room so that I could sit while getting clean. She basically told me what had happened between Peter and the Major, including what he has been through.

I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him that I forgive him, but before I could do that we needed to talk. Edward never gave me that option. He always made the decisions for me. If Jasper was indeed my mate I had to figure out if he would be willing to talk to me.

He needed to tell me why he refused to acknowledge that I was his mate and I needed to tell him that I already knew about his fight with himself and that together we could defeat all of our demons that were hell bent on destroying us. I needed to tell him that I'm terrified. Not because I'm afraid that he'll hurt me more, although that is something that could happen, but because I feel inferior to him, like there's no way I can be enough for him.

Char had explained to me that once a vampire has met their mate its impossible for them to be with another person. She and Peter both had told me that Jasper couldn't have sex with the bitch he had brought to the room. No matter what the vampire's body doesn't recognize the other person as their mate and won't cooperate. He had just been trying to prove to himself that we weren't meant to be together which only backfired on him.

I had noticed that both Peter and Jasper were missing when I came out dried and dressed feeling tired after my shower. I knew it would take several days before my strength came back. I asked Char where the boys were and she told me that since I was feeling better that they had gone to fetch the doctor as she put it.

Once he had checked me over then we were going to go to the house. I wanted to get somewhere that felt safe. Here we were open to be attacked, even though there were humans around. The Volturi could attack or at least keep us from being able to defend ourselves. Besides I wanted to see the place that the Major considered to be home.

I must have fallen asleep while waiting for the guys to get back as one minute I was on the bed reading and the next I was being woken up by the doctor. He quickly checked my vital signs and found that I was no longer running a fever.

He didn't want to remove the IV until he was sure that I was eating enough, but the Major can be really persuasive when he wants to be. He left Char instructions for me and made sure that she would bring me into the hospital if I got sick again.

Jasper had brought me some more soup. I ate while everyone else packed up our stuff and loaded it into the truck. Jasper tried to get me to let him talk to me about things but I told him that I wanted to wait until we were at the house before talking. He was nervous and unsure of himself. Char told me that that was a first for him.

She didn't need to tell me. I already knew that he was usually confident, even to the point of being smug about it. There had been several times that I knew he was wanting to touch me, but I could see the uncertainty in his eyes. For the first time maybe in his whole life he was scared.

Peter was smart and asked Jasper to drive. He was being tormented by his actions and while I was afraid that he would push me away again the thought of him torturing himself broke my heart. Having to drive would help to take his mind off of everything if only slightly. I needed time to think.

Like I said, I'm terrified that he'll push me away again, but I know the torment he's already been through over his actions. I wanted to hold him and tell him that I forgave him, but I didn't trust him. My initial plan had been to tell him that he couldn't touch me ever and make him watch as I found someone else that would love me and turn me.

But when I up looked and saw him pleading and begging me to forgive him I saw something in his eyes that has probably never been there since he was a small boy; tears. Of course they wouldn't fall, but the fact that they were there told me everything I really needed to know, he loved me. And he was finally admitting to what everyone else knew from the beginning, we are mates.

I loved him, so I had already forgiven him. That didn't mean he was automatically off the hook. No, he was going to have to prove to me that he wanted there to be an us and that he was willing to try to go beyond what that fucking bitch Maria had drilled into his brain. I knew because of my dreams that he could and would overcome what he has believed all of his vampire life, that he couldn't ever be loved.

I understood him and I knew how so very fucking hard it was for him to admit that he was wrong and literally beg for another chance. I also know that I'm the only person, human or vampire to have seen the man that he is deep down inside.

The man that he truly is had to be buried inside of him in order for him to be able to survive all that Maria made him do. He was fierce in fighting and somehow I knew that he would be fierce and yet gentle in his loving. I wanted to be the one to teach him how to love and teach him that he didn't have to prove anything to me except that he truly wanted me, wanted there to be an 'us' and was willing to work for it.

In order for both of us to get past this I needed to let him know how all of his actions made me feel. I also needed to explain to him about my dreams. I had told him already, but I hadn't gone into details about them and he needed to know that I saw what no one else had ever seen, his heart as well as his struggles.

I figured that he might get pissed about that. He doesn't like to look weak in the eyes of anyone and this is something that I know he will feel makes him look weak. What I need to make him understand is that there's nothing he can do that will make him look weak in my eyes, except for pushing me away.

As a matter of fact seeing him so vulnerable lets me know that he's willing to show me his heart. Yeah, for the most part he's an asshole who will always be an asshole, but he's MY asshole. I also know that I can be a real hellcat sometimes. I know that he fucking loves that. He may act all pissy and shit but I see the gleam in his eyes.

We are perfect for each other. I'm the light to his darkness, he's the strenght to my weakness, I'm the humanity to his vampire side. He can be truly free from the shit Maria did to him and know that with me he'll never have to hide.

We also have the sides to us that almost demand to be challenged on a daily basis. Neither of us liked to be fucked with and I had almost lost myself when I was with Edward. And that was another thing, I had been away from Jasper for two weeks and yet the Volturi hadn't found him which they should have if I wasn't around him. I have to ask why?

Sadly though we were now pulling up, we had stopped at a store on the way here and all three of them had gone in to get some supplies for me. I told them I was too tired, but for all of them to go so they would get done faster.

Peter and Char took the supplies in and Jasper opened the door for me and carried me inside. The place was dusty yet cozy. The furniture had sheets over them to keep the dust off. It was a really huge house, but I was too tired to really look around right now.

Peter told Jasper to take me to the guest room and I told them that I wanted to sleep in Jasper's room. Jasper smirked but I knocked it off his face real fast, "Don't get no fucking ideas, Major. I said I wanted to sleep in your room, but I said nothing about you being in there with me."

His face fell and I didn't need his gift to see the pain he was feeling. It was written all over his face. So I decided to help him a little bit, "I'm not sleeping right away, well, I may eat and then take a nap. After that you and I are going to have a much needed talk. I would prefer it to be somewhere private."

Char fixed me a lite salad with some more soup. I was feeling better every time I ate. It was really good to finally get something a little more solid in my stomach. After that I laid down for a nap. I had told Jasper to leave the room, but it took me all of thirty seconds to feel the discomfort of his absence and I called him back.

I asked him to read to me so he picked up one of the books I had asked for and started reading. He had sat down on the floor next to my head. I quickly fell asleep.

My dreams while they weren't bad were probably the reason that when I woke up the Major's eyes were black and he was fucking growling at me. . .

A/N Please tell me your thoughts. Not much to say, I'm leaving for work in a few minutes. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and added this story to their favorites and alerts. Love you guys.