A/N Thanks to my friend OoJasper'sAngeloO for her beta work, and my pre-reader sinfulroad69 for her help in making this chapter much better. Here we find out more in depth about why Jasper is the way he is, and of course we find out why he was growling at her. I think you'll like it. Hope you enjoy.

I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.

Bella's POV

I had woken up with the Major looking at me with black eyes and he was fucking growling at me. I couldn't understand what the fuck his problem was, but he needed to cut that shit out, right the fuck now! He needed to know that I wasn't gonna put up with his shit, "I don't know what stick is up your ass, but it better not be me that you're fucking growling at."

"You were fuckin' dreamin' and talkin' in your sleep."

"Yeah and it was a very nice fucking dream if I say so myself. I just wish it had been real!"

He answered that with a louder growl. I had managed to put my shirt back on and it was a good thing too because both Peter and Char came running into the room like their asses were on fire. Peter quickly looked at the way the Major was growling and then looked at me and said, "Maybe you should tell him what the dream was about before he decides to bite you."

It was then that I realized that if I had talked in my sleep then what he heard could easily be misunderstood, "Major calm the fuck down and I will tell you what the dream was about. I was dreaming that I had been turned and we had found Edward." I was rudely interrupted by the Major.

"I gathered that much. You were callin' his name and then you were turned on and moanin' and tellin' him how good it felt. How in the fuck would you react if the tables had been turned?" He growled out.

I couldn't help it, I started to fucking laugh my ass off which only pissed him off even more. Both Peter and Char started to get worried until I stopped them from coming any closer and told all three of them, "I'm sorry, but it shows just how fucking clueless vampires can be. You hear something and immediately jump to conclusions. Yes, I probably did call his name and I did become aroused and yes I did tell him just how fucking good it felt. I became aroused because I watched as the Major wearing only jeans made Edward feel what I felt when I found out about those poor girls, I watched as he tortured Edward and then I told Edward after he begged me to make the Major stop just how fucking good it felt to see him suffer for the shit that he pulled. Now maybe you should fucking ask before you fucking jump to conclusions and growling at the stupid human!" I yelled. Well, whispered yelled.

He apologized and I accepted his apology, but I wasn't finished, "Now I need to have a few human moments and then eat something. After that you and Char need to get the fuck out so that the Major and I can talk privately. Char can you please help me again? Then I'll need to fix myself something to eat."

Peter was about to say something, but both Char and I glared at him and the guys both left in a hurry. Since I hadn't tried to stand up yet I had no clue as to if I could walk on my own yet. Once I was on my feet I felt that I could walk, but I was still unsteady. Char only had to help me walk and led me to the bathroom. After I was done she helped me to get dressed by bringing me some clothes to wear.

After I dressed I told her I wanted to go downstairs to make breakfast and eat. She smiled and told me that it was already too late, the boys had made me food. That made me cringe and I have to be honest I'm not sure that it would be a good idea to eat anything that two male vampires had made. Especially those two in particular.

To my relief and surprise they had made me scrambled eggs, with some toast and juice. Peter dished it up and then Jasper brought the plate over and set it on the table. Then he gently took my arm and helped me to sit down. I hate to admit it, but the eggs were good and the juice was freshly squeezed orange juice. I just had to know, "Who cooked the eggs? Even my eggs never come out this good. What's the secret?"

Can I say that I was shocked when the Major told me that he cooked them. Peter had squeezed the oranges, but couldn't figure out the toaster. I was also told that I would never find out the secret, it was his mother's and it was one of the very few things he remembered from his human days. It took me no time at all to finish off the eggs.

As soon as I was done eating I told Peter and Char to leave us alone so we could talk without him having to worry about being seen as weak. Peter informed me that the Major no longer cared if he appeared weak, he just wanted to make amends and be with me, but they did as I asked and left, telling both of us to play nice and call when they could come back. Jasper had gone to take a shower while I finished eating and they left before he was done.

I managed to make my way back up to the bedroom that now belonged to the Major and I. Although why he had this fucking huge ass bed is a mystery to me. That is until Char clued me in. The Major loved to read while laying down. That and the fact that she had found the antique bed in a shop. She said that she knew that I would love it as well as the Major.

She had found it when we were still traveling together and had it delivered. Peter and her had to run back to the house after he had brought the Major back and were there to receive it. They had also fixed the broken window that Peter had thrown the Major out of. I decided that Char was right and I loved the bed. I got up on it and read until I heard the shower turn off.

I knew that the next few hours were going to be hard on both of us, but I also knew that if we didn't learn how to talk and let each other know how we felt that mate or not, one of us would end up dead or alone. I wanted neither and I'm sure that the Major felt the same way. This was going to be hard on him, because for once in his long existence he was going to have to share his true feelings.

I sat on the bed waiting for him to come out. I had decided that we should talk on the bed as I could stretch out if I needed to and we could look each other in the eyes. We both needed this and I didn't want either of us to try to hide our feelings and that would be almost impossible if we didn't look directly at each other mostly for my sake. While he would automatically know what I was feeling, I needed to be able to see his eyes to know what he was feeling.

He came out of the bathroom already dressed, but stopped when he saw me sitting on the bed. I guess he didn't expect for us to have our talk on the bed. I put my hand out for him to take and join me on our bed. He took it gently and then sat on the edge, almost as if he was afraid to get too close to me. I patted the space in front of me and he joined me.

It was going to be hard to talk as he was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and nothing else. At least he had the more problematic parts covered, like his chest, legs and well the other more intimate parts. I had to force myself to remember what he had done to me, otherwise our talk wouldn't happen, at least not right now. I wanted him badly, but in order for us to work we needed to share everything without sex coming into it, at least right now.

He sat facing me and I took both of his hands in mine and then said, "Jasper, I need you to look at me and explain why you not only pushed me out of the truck, but why you pushed me away from you. Do you really hate me, hate the thought of being with me? Please tell me if that's the case and I'll walk away right now. Save us more heartache and just tell me the truth. Then after you are done, I want to feel what you felt when you were trying to push me away. I need to try to understand where you were coming from. Then it'll be my turn to tell you things and let you feel what I felt from the moment I first laid eyes on you."

He sighed heavily before starting, "First of all, I need to say that I'm sorry for fightin' the matin' bond. I have already told you how sorry I am for pushin' you not only out of the truck, but tryin' to push you away from me. I'm goin' to do my best to try to tell you why. You know me to be a man of few words and never to show my feelins', ever. I. .I didn't believe that I had any that were nice enough to be shared.

Maria drilled it into my head every single fuckin' day that no one would ever love me, that to love and be loved was a weakness as well as a distraction. Not once in all the years that I was with that bitch did I ever feel any kind of positive emotions towards me. Every single fuckin' day all I felt was fear, hatred, envy and jealousy... Until Peter came along.

I was so fuckin' lonely and I longed for any kind of positive emotions so when Peter felt friendship towards me, I allowed him to get close to me. When he met Charlotte, I felt it for the first time; love. I became closer to both of them yet at the same time I was so fuckin' jealous of their love. I was determined to make my heart even harder. I needed to in order to make sure that I never fell in love. Besides no one wanted a scarred up monster. That's what I am.

Other females found me attractive, until I took my shirt off. It proved that Maria was right, no one would ever want me for myself. My heart continued to harden even after I left Maria. Females would fuck me only because they needed a release. It was always the same feelins' of fear and no matter what, I couldn't seem to get away from it. No one could love a monster like me.

When Carlisle called and asked for our help in getting you back I agreed and the plan was to buy you and then get you back to your family. When I saw you, my body reacted to you as my mate. My instincts told me to claim you and mark you as mine. My brain told me to just fuck you and then drain you. My heart wouldn't let me and I hated what you made me feel. I fought it, as you well know. In the end I had to admit defeat for the first time ever; I had fallen.

I just hope that its not too late and that you'll give me a chance to make up for what I did. I'll do anything to prove to you that I can change and I admit that you are my mate and I. . .I love you!"

I needed to know so I asked him, "Please let me feel what you felt throughout the time we have known each other and what you feel now."

He did as I had asked and I felt the intense loneliness and the fear of being seen as being weak. Then he let me feel other emotions that included longing, despair and love. He told me that is what he felt when he was with Maria. The love made him feel longing, which made him then feel despair because he knew that he would never have that with her. As he went further into his emotions I noticed that suddenly there was a coldness, a hardness that no person or vampire should ever have inside of them. He had shut his own emotions off; pushing them down so he couldn't feel them.

Suddenly the emotions started to come back slowly, but they got stronger as he went through the memories. When he got to the point where he had taken the vampire slut into my room, I felt extreme fear and panic. He was terrified and was trying to do anything to stop what he knew was already too late, he had fallen in love with me. He was trying to prove to himself that it wasn't true.

When he got to where he had been told the truth about what we are to each other, the terror intensified. He was in a blind panic when I had confronted him about the truth and of course that led to him trying one last time to get rid of the problem. It didn't take him long to realize that pushing me out of the truck and away from him just wasn't going to work. I felt his acceptance and then he hit me with what he felt when he thought I was dead.

It was the most intense agony I have ever felt, even when I wanted to die because he didn't want me. It was a thousand times worse and he said he was only letting me feel just a tiny bit of the depth of what he actually felt. I couldn't breathe and he pulled it back quickly. Then I felt what he felt when Peter was beating on him and finally I felt what he was feeling right now and it was these two emotions that made me start to cry; it was remorse and love.

This is what helped me to make a decision. I knew what I needed to do, but first I needed to explain the dreams I had about him and tell him that I loved him before I even knew he existed. He needed to feel what he made me feel then, in between and when he pushed me away so cruelly. I needed to tell him how I desperately needed him. I also needed to tell him about Edward and explain just how much danger we all probably were in right now. We could all be dead and soon. This was going to be the hardest discussion of my very short life. . .

A/N Please tell me what you think. Does this make you feel a little more kindly towards the Major? Next chapter we hear her side and we find out what her idea is. We also will find out why she believes they could be dead and soon. A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed, and added this story to their favorites and alerts. Love you guys.