Memories

Belonging

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The Blackbird was crowded, even with Cia attached to the underside. The tree-girl had insisted on being placed on the outside. Tora managed to stop two of the younger children from starting a fight with their toys and then glanced over at Curt. Who was sulking. The fight had been long and very awkward. Jubilee needed to stay on Utopia, where there was a barrier of water between herself and the people who weren't capable of shooting lasers out of their eyes. Curt was to go with his family. This did not please either of them. In the end, Tora had compromised. Jeanne would stay on Utopia, as a link between Jubilee and Curt. That way, they could arrange dates or messages together. The only minor problem was they had to go through Tora. But nothing about this arrangement was perfect, so Curt and Jubes had accepted, moaned a lot and made an agreement to meet up for a date three times a month.

Tora looked down at the single book resting on her lap, a slight lump in her throat. It had taken her this long to find it. Her name was scrawled in the front.

My dearest daughter.

In hope you will be as moved as I was by the tale. I am the Death who told this story. I am the Death who visited the thief of words three times.

Etana.

The tale made her cry. Parts of it were obviously embellished, by the man who had heard the tale from Etana's mouth. The rest –including the interruptions- were purely Etana. Etana's views on life and death, colour and souls. Death's voice was not that of the Mistress. No, it was the voice of her servant. She who walked alone across the world, gathering souls in her arms. The one who cared. Who stole a book from the girl who stole books; who met a girl three times when the sky was red, when the sky was white and when the sky was black. And who felt so closely linked to the child, who cared. The child who cared about others, about words. Etana, who at times forgot that she was an angel and descended to humanity instead. Idie looked at her and Tora held out the book.

"It's based on the Shadow's stories."

Idie reached out, took the book. Ran her fingers across the front, Death dancing with a girl with pigtails and a frock. The name of the author. And finally she opened it. Tora sat in silence, staring straight ahead the whole journey but she could smell the salt of Idie's tears as the book was slid back onto her lap. A sad-happy book, a book that made you want to cry and laugh at the end. An Etana book.

And then she stepped out into the sad-happy ruins. Sad for the never-to-be dreams. Happy for the always-there memories. And then she crouched low, towards a shattered picture. The team from shortly after she joined. She was behind Charles, hands resting on the wheelchair, eyes sparkling with secrets that for the first time in her life were happy.

A hand rested on her shoulder and she looked up to see Bobby.

"Yeah. We all miss the good old days."

She stood up.

"You mean when Erik kept trying to kill us? I'm sorry, I'd much rather have Erik on my side."

"Come on, you and Magneto have always been like best friends. He never really tried to kill you. In fact, I'd say he had a soft spot for you."

She shrugged.

"I never waxed lyrical about Charles' dream. Erik had hopes for me. Of course, when I almost killed him…when I… I'm sorry. I don't like to remember that."

Bobby nodded.

"Yeah. We all have moments like that."

"You never have. Look at us, Bobby. Would our past selves recognise us? And if they could, would they like what they saw?"

He shrugged.

"I don't know Tora. I don't know. I reckon my fourteen-year-old self would be a bit shocked if he realised that he was going to be a living icicle for a while but… I'd like to think I'm what he'd want me to be. You?"

She shrugged.

"I don't know. I think my eight-year-old self would be pleased that I wasn't at Weapon X. I think my thirteen-year-old self would be hungry for Dragon's power…"

"Tora?"

She turned to look at him.

"And I think my fifteen-year-old self would be disgusted with me."

"Why?"

She shook her head.

"I married the person she hated the most. I accepted that I will never get justice for Weapon X. I know what she'd think of me and it's not the nicest thing in the world to know that your teenage self would hate you as much as Sabretooth."

Bobby whistled through his teeth.

"That bad, huh?"

She shrugged.

"I saw everything in black and white then. Now…Now nothing is in monochrome. Everything is a thousand shades of every colour."

She stood up and pointed.

"That the exact spot I was standing in when I met Remy for the first time. I reduced him to running screaming out the room, something about freaky crazy femmes and Etana came in and asked what that nice young man had done for me to be so cruel."

Bobby laughed and pointed somewhere else.

"That's where Jean entered the Institute for the first time. Scott, Warren and Hank were going on about how pretty she was. I was an obnoxious fourteen-year-old. I couldn't care less."

She laughed softly then looked sad. Bobby followed her gaze and winced. An overgrown black headstone, now slightly crooked to one side, wings carved into the marble. Empty eyeholes stared up from the helmet that was coated in ivy. Bobby touched her shoulder.

"She belonged here. No matter what she said. This was her home. This is where she belonged."

Tora slowly shook her head.

"No. She belonged with her family. In the tomb of her father and uncle. Not here. Not in a country younger than she was. Not in a place she was always the outsider, the watcher. She belongs in Israel. She belongs to her homeland. But it wasn't home for her. Not really." She looked up. "Her home was the sky. She belonged in the air. On the breeze. Flying through clouds. That's the Etana she used to be before she was injured and flying turned from a blessing to a curse."

Bobby stared at the stone.

"What exactly happened? Because she never spoke about it."

"Ask Mystique. She was your girlfriend for a while."

"It was to do with Raven?"

"Raven and Kurt. Etana's wings were broken almost beyond repair when she was protecting Kurt after Raven abandoned him. She barely survived. There's a limit to the weapons you can use with a child in your arms and she couldn't teleport him. There's a reason she would never teleport with Kurt. The Brimstone Dimension was lethal to her. For all she knew, the same could be true in reverse. Also, you really don't want to take an hour-old infant right through the Afterlife."

"Wait, Etana teleported through the afterlife?"

Tora looked at him.

"She was an angel, Bobby. An angel of death. She was linked to the Afterlife. And it wasn't just Hel or the Underworld. It was the Final Afterlife."

Bobby decided to roll with it. After a while on the X-Men you learnt not to question stuff like that. Tora was blinking back tears.

"She didn't deserve to die like that. Not without recognition for everything she did. She should be commemorated every year, in every town, in every country. She saved our lives a thousand times over. And all she ever got was hatred and mistrust. She never deserved that. She had enough hardship as it was. Did you know her guardians were murdered right in front of her eyes when she was thirteen?"

Bobby blinked a few times.

"Really?"

"Can you imagine what it was like for her? Her parents both died on the day she was born. She only had her aunt and uncle to rely on. Forced to hide from others. And then suddenly she sees them cut down right in front of her. No wonder not one of those men escaped alive."

Bobby paled. It was times like this that Tora would throw you a curveball. You'd think she was back to normal then she'd casually mention a number of people dying as if there was nothing odd about the fact a thirteen-year-old girl killed who knew how many.

He glanced back at Logan. No luck.

"Tora, can you do your thing?"

Her eyes burned silver.

"Of course…"

"Did she rebuild the school?"

"No, just returned the land to greenfield. They were planning a new design anyway."

Kitty stood in the hall, facing the students.

"Right. Logan here is your new Headmaster as well as History and Combat Studies teacher. Listen to him, as his knowledge of most of the history of the twentieth century is second-to-none. I am your Headmistress. I will be teaching Ethics, Computer Science and Future History."

Beast rose.

"I am the Depute Headmaster. Science and Philosophy. Mr LeBeau will be our Sex-Ed teacher. Mr Drake has agreed to take Mathematics. Miss Grey will be teaching Psychic Defence, which is compulsory and Space Survival, which isn't. Rogue shall be taking the basics Linguistics classes whilst Mrs Logan shall be taking Advanced Linguistics, Mutant History and Cosmic Entities & Other Higher Beings. That is the senior staff. You are to treat all staff with respect but problems are to be taken to the senior staff. The other staff members are…"

Tora blanked them out. She heard the bit on Lockheed and Xixy taking Alien Races in two parts, Biology and Culture. Xix had followed her here. He wasn't the sort to abandon her just because she was going slowly insane. Her eyes glanced around the room. Curt hanging from the ceiling, Cia nowhere to be seen. She was out in the grounds, getting her strength back. Beast said she'd be able to move soon. She would always be stuck in the tree but she would be able to move, talk and live a semi-normal life. Tora wished the girl had a better chance at life.

She wished that she had a better chance at life…

"Fire and agony. The first and last memories were fire and agony. No one deserves that…"