[Marco arrives back at the rebel base, where he enters the main hangar to see his copilot, Newt Gingrich, repairing their ship, the Millennium Falcon].

Marco: Hey, Newtgie!

Newt: Jesus Christ, Marco, I told you to quit calling me that! We aren't in 1994 anymore.

Marco: Alright, alright, don't lose your temper, jeez. And to think I'd make you VP.

Newt: I'm sorry, Marco, but the Senate just passed a bill that people with low credit scores on their ships have to pay more for their premiums in Alaska.

Marco: Newt, this isn't Alaska.

Newt: Well it sure as hell looks like it. And feels like it too. I know because Sarah Palin dragged me all the way up there. Now can you give me a hand with this?

Marco: Yeah, I'll be right back, gotta inform the senior chair that I did whatever my job was.

Newt: Sounds like you just got back from another Senate session.

[Continues to work as Marco walks to the command center in the base].

General Tom Carper: Rubio, you're back just in time. The precincts just closed, biggest voter turnout of all time.

Marco: Biggest voter turnout? Who in their right mind would live in this place? Not dissing the good citizens of Hoth, of course, I love the Hothians or Hothites or Hothburgs.

General Carper: Did Commander Cruz check back in yet?

Marco: I have no idea, I spoke to him a while ago. He said he was checking out some debris. Probably Kim Jong Un trying to launch another missile again.

General Carper: That's the last thing we need, is for North Korea to find our location first.

Random Precinct Worker: Sir, the results are in!

Marco: I can't stay here, General, I don't want to know.

Random Precinct Worker: And it looks like Trump wins again…

Marco: What place did I get?

Random Precinct Worker: Um, third.

Marco: Ah, G-d, are you kidding me?

General Carper: Marco, I'm sorry to hear that.

[Marco's tantrum catches the attention of Princess Hillary Clinton, who is standing nearby and watches Rubio storm out of the base. She promptly follows.]

Hillary: Wait, Marco!

Marco: Yes, Your Highness, what does thou request?

Hillary: You said you were going to stay and fight on the side of the rebellion!

Marco: Well, the bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mantell changed my mind.

Hillary: Marco, for the last time, that was not a bounty hunter, that was a lobbyist for the NRA persuading you to get the gun agenda on the Senate floor.

Marco: I don't care, he changed my mind regardless. Besides, I came in third for the Hoth primaries! Third!

Hillary: But don't you always come in third?

Marco: Yeah, I do, but on this planet? The only things that live here are giant polar bears that look like Dick Cheney and two-legged reindeers! I mean, third place!

Hillary: Marco, it's fine, it's not the end of the galaxy.

Marco: Easy for you to say, you still somehow get superdelegates from this frozen wasteland.

Hillary: Well, it's probably because I promised the EPA complete jurisdiction here to provide safe water for-

Marco: Okay, I see. You don't need me. What you need is Ted. He came in second. I'm outta here. [storms off]

[Meanwhile, on the other side of the base, John Kasich and his droid companion, a drone, are walking through the corridors.]

Kasich: Fourth place isn't bad considering only two people came to vote. It doesn't matter, we still have plenty of time. We still have the support of people. First we're going to win Ohio, and then we're going to win the galaxy.

[The two then emerge in the hangar where Marco and Newt are repairing the Falcon].

Marco: Jesus Christ, Newt, you may have gotten more legislation passed in the House than any other Speaker, but you can't even fix a damn starship? No wonder our credit score is so high!

Newt: I told you we should've renewed our auto insurance so we could've gotten full coverage!

Kasich: Hey, Marco, good job getting third place in today's primaries.

Marco: Screw off, pretzel face.

Kasich: I'm kidding, I'm kidding, just be lucky that Hoth only has two delegates to the nominating convention, and they're literally just two snowmen. Anyways, Princess Clinton has been trying to reach you for a while now, so she sent me down here to come and let you know.

Marco: I'm not interested in chatting with Princess Clinton or Secretary Clinton or Senator Clinton or First Lady Clinton or President Clinton or whatever she calls herself nowadays.

Kasich: Oh, well she was just curious about Ted. You see, there was a .4% voting difference between him and Donald Trump, and wanted to congratulate him, but he didn't report in apparently.

Marco: I don't know where he is, probably got captured by the North Koreans.

Kasich: Nobody knows where he went, sir.

Marco: Nobody? Wait, does this mean I'm in second place now?

Kasich: Assuming he's dead.

Marco: [bites wrist] I might need him to go head-to-head with Trump, maybe then if I save his life he'll make me VP. Yo, Kasich, how many VPs became President?

Kasich: Well, let's see, there's-

Marco: Nevermind, let me ask one of these guys.

[Walks over to an officer]

Marco: Hey, did Commander Cruz ever check in by chance?

Officer: Um, doesn't say here, no.

Marco: Alright, lend me one of those speeders.

Officer: Wait, what? No! We don't have any warranty on them yet!

Marco: Then I'll just go out on this two-legged reindeer. [Jumps on a tauntaun]

Officer: Are you out of your mind, Rubio? You're from Florida, ain't no way you're gonna survive in that kind of weather!

Marco: This Florida boy gets around.

[Marco jumps on a tauntaun and then rides off into the blizzard night].