[Meanwhile, inside the rebel base, rebels are running everywhere, preparing weapons and loading ships for the evacuation. In the medical bay, Ted is preparing his pilot gear.]

Medical droid: Are you fully stable to fly a speeder?

Ted: Of course I am, Marco says I have privatized insurance, we should be fine.

Medical droid: No, sir, I think that was only for health insurance.

Ted: Whatever, the emergency room can't deny me help. We'll be fine.

[Ted then runs to the hangar where he heads to the Falcon and sees Marco and Newt repairing it].

Ted: Newtgie, take care of yourself, alright?

Newt: I hope you burn up in your speeder and die.

Ted: Well, okay then. Hey, Marco!

Marco: Well, Ted, this is it.

Ted: Yep. Next time I see you, the Tatooine precincts should be closed. I mean, Texas and Tatooine are basically the same place, they're both deserts, I'm guaranteed an easy victory.

Marco: You're rubbing it in again, Ted.

Ted: I'm sorry, kid. Take care.

Marco: Yeah, you too.

[Darth Trump sits in his little hair bubble meditating until General Lindsey Graham walks in].

Trump: Jesus Christ, do you know how to knock?

General Graham: Apologies, sir. I just wanted to update you that the rebels have this energy field surrounding the planet that protects it from any sorts of bombardments, so we cannot commence the "bomb the hell out of these guys" order.

Trump: My, G-d, you spend $100 billion on this new equipment and we can't even send one bomb down there to blow these guys up. Is this a joke? Is this really a joke? Cause if it is, I'm not laughing. I don't like jokes, to be honest, unless, unless it's about Rosie O'Donnell, then it's funny, but otherwise no jokes for me.

General Graham: No, sir, it's not a joke. And on a sidenote, Admiral Gilmore entered out of hyperspace a little too early and the rebels detected our presence.

Trump: Jeez, what is with this guy? You know, I want to know who promoted him… no, I want to know who the hell hired this guy to the Imperial army. He's a disgrace, a total disgrace, shouldn't even be in this army. I tell him, 'No, Jim, listen to me, make sure when you come out of hyperspace you don't get the ships too close to the planet so they can detect us,' and what does this idiot do, he does exactly that. Unbelievable this guy, completely unbelievable. Now, General Graham, get the troops ready and get these guys already.

[General Graham leaves and Darth Trump spins in his chair and turns on a monitor with Gilmore and Paul].

Gilmore: Ah, Lord Trump, I have good news. We are just prepared to… agh

[Trump begins to Force choke Gilmore]

Trump: Look, I like you, Jim, you're a nice guy, okay? I just don't think you're really qualified for this type of work, so you know what? You're fired.

[Gilmore drops to the floor dead and Paul looks in anguish]

Trump: Rand, as much as I hate to say this, like literally, like I think I'm gonna have to go get an expensive foot massage after saying this, but I leave you in charge.

Paul: [all jittery] Oh, my gosh, really? Me, admiral? Oh, this is so wonderful, Donald, thank you! And I am completely sorry for anything I said about you during the Republican debates.

Trump: Okay, calm down Rand, and I don't feel sorry for what I said about you. Just get our guys on the ground away from this energy thing and make sure none of these guys gets away, okay? Simple enough?

Paul: Yes, I completely understand, Lord Trump. Will do.