Deep Magic 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or The Chronicles of Narnia, nor do I make any profits from posting this fanfiction.

Summary: Non-Epilogue compliant. Harry, mid fight against remaining Death Eater factions, finds himself somehow transported to a strange world, Narnia. He learns to live, to love, and eventually to be a little bit selfish.

Warnings: Slash. Cross dimension travel. Character death. Murder, violence, fighting.

Pairings: HP/EP. Potential PP or LP with a HP character.

Note: Yes, I know...a bloody long absence. No real excuses I'm afraid, just life. Lots and lots of life. I am expecting a lot more life to interfere too thus I'm going to upload everything I have for this fic for you to read. Know that it is unfinished and will probably never get finished. Again no excuses for that, just life is going to keep me away. I'm sorry. Enjoy these next few chapters. They haven't been combed through for mistakes so there are bound to be plenty, but I'm afraid I've got work to do and I only had time to upload them, not check them all too. Happy reading.

Chapter 5

Narnia Year 1006

The next few days were awkward to say the least. Edmund would not talk to him or even look at him. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement between them to keep a good bit of distance between them and not approach each other. It was getting to the point that Lucy would not be put off from pointing it out any longer.

"What happened?" She asked and stared between them as they sat on opposite ends of the room, the chess set they had played so much left abandoned.

"Nothing Lu." Edmund dismissed candidly. Harry looked away, choosing to stare out of the window instead.

"It's not nothing."

"We had an argument, that's all." Harry admitted gently, digging his fingers into his palm at the sound of his defeated voice. There was the sharp weight of eyes on him and Harry crossed his arms over his chest to stop himself from looking around and meeting those eyes.

"What was it about? You two never argue."

"Then perhaps we were due an argument." Edmund snapped. His voice like a gun shot through the room.

"Edmund!" Susan scolded immediately.

A book snapped shut then there was the soft thud as it landed on the cushions of the couch.

"I'm going to bed." Edmund huffed and heavy footsteps sounded his retreat.

"Harry?" The voice was tentative, soft.

"It's OK, Lucy. Don't worry about it. We will sort it out." Harry assured her giving her a quick glance and a smile before getting up from his seat and crossing over to the window.

The three remaining Pevensie children talked among themselves in hushed voices for a while. Harry stayed by the window overlooking Narnia. He could see all the way to the woods and beyond, to places he had never visited. Perhaps now that there was peace in Narnia for the time being, and since he had fallen out with Edmund, it was time that Harry explored Narnia for himself. It might help him keep his mind off things, like the horrible thoughts running around in his head.

"Harry?" Peter's voice was soft and unobtrusive even though it was clear he truly wanted to be acknowledged.

"I think I might go away for a while." Harry blurted, his thoughts slipping from his lips without censor.

"OK. But why now?"

"Edmund…" Harry sighed. "I think maybe I should stop intruding on your hospitality."

"Has Edmund said something about it, because you should know you are always welcome here in Cair Paravel."

"I know I am. Edmund and I had a disagreement about something but he didn't tell me I should leave. I just think that perhaps some space would do us both some good. I know I have drawn Edmund away from the rest of you quite a lot, it would give you the chance to reconnect as a family."

"We didn't mind you drawing Ed away, and the family doesn't need to reconnect. We are doing just fine." A hand landed on Harry's shoulder with a pressure begging him to turn around. He did so, turning to face the tall dark haired High King Peter who towered over him imposingly with several inches. "What happened between you and Ed?"

"It was private Peter. You don't need to worry about it."

Peter laughed bitterly. "I think I do, it's making my brother and you unhappy."

"Not everybody can be happy all the time Peter." Harry hedged. "We disagreed over a matter that had no middle ground and no possible compromises, and we are both stubborn enough to resent the other for being stuck on the other side of the argument. The only thing to do now is wait for that anger to dissipate and for me to get away and give you all some space."

"I don't think it is a good idea."

"But you can't change my mind. Now that I've thought about it I'm convinced it is the right thing to do."

Peter heaved a huge sigh. "You realise he won't be happy about that either."

"What he doesn't know about won't hurt him. I'll leave tonight. He won't discover I am missing until tomorrow by which time I will be long gone and you can deny all knowledge of my plan if I leave a note stating my intentions."

"Where will you go?"

Harry shrugged. He didn't know. He didn't really know what was out there, and even if he did know he couldn't tell Peter.

"Wherever my feet take me." Harry turned away from the High King then to make good on his decision and start packing.

"Will you come back?"

"Yes." Harry didn't have to think about that answer.

"When?"

"Eventually."

"What if we need you back sooner than that? Or what if you need us, how will we contact you?"

"Send an owl. They will find me." They had found everybody else Harry had needed them to find on behalf of the Kings and Queens of Narnia. How else would Lucy keep in contact with Mr and Mrs Beaver who were too busy to visit and to be visited because of all their children.

Harry left Peter in the lounge and walked through the castle to his rooms. Once there he emptied some of his clothes into a bag that he charmed to be bottomless. He packed various other trinkets and keep sakes, he packed his treasures he had collected, he also packed his weapons and some food. Once packed, he scribbled out a note and left it in the shared reception room. He then pulled on his travel cloak and left Cair Paravel.

In one apparition he was at the Stone Table, miles away.

Narnia year 1006.

Dear Harry,

I thought I would write because I was sure that the Owls would be able to find you. They are so good.

Why did you leave? What happened between you and Ed to make you leave like that? Was it something I did? Or was it something I didn't do?

Edmund has been very snappish since you left us. He is upset all the time and is constantly at odds with Susan and Peter over some matter or another. I have taken to avoiding him…

Lucy's letter continued for a while informing Harry what was going on in the castle and the strange behaviours she had to put up with. It was nice to read the letter from the joyful girl, somehow just reading her thoughts cheered him up.

Harry folded the letter away, thanked the owl that brought it, and then stoked the fire once again. He was in Calormen, a very hot land south of Narnia. He had been there for nearly two weeks and had not grown accustom to the heat at all, nor had he grown accustom to the fashion. The light and baggy robes might be something akin to home but the beards on nearly every man was weird to see and the turbans were odd to Harry who was not used to seeing them. Harry hadn't adopted that custom at all; instead he had taken to wearing a hood or a scarf over his head in an attempt to blend in.

He had only been gone four weeks and already he missed Cair Paravel dreadfully.

He already missed Edmund.

Leaving was the right decision though wasn't it? For the both of them. It would give Harry time away to figure out what the heck happened and what he had missed. And it would give Edmund time to change his mind, to see that he was wrong to feel the way he said he did about Harry.

So why did he have this almost constant churning of regret?

And why did he feel like such a coward for leaving?

Harry gazed up at the stars wondering what Edmund was doing. It was his birthday, or at least it was around about that time of the year. In Calorman the weather barely changed except for the rains so it was hard to keep track of the seasons. It was still abysmally hot regardless of the rain. In fact Harry thought the rain made the heat worse.

"Are you well my friend?" The prompt was gentle and it was from one of the friends he had met on his travels. Kurik was a typical Calorman with his curling moustache whiskers, his purple turban and gigantic robes.

"I am perfectly well, thank you."

"You looked wistful. I did not mean to intrude upon your thoughts but you had been staring at the stars for a great time."

"I was lost in thought."

"Ah, home is on your mind…" He mentioned sagely. Harry chose to ignore that comment and changed the subject. His mind was still on home though…along with some other parts of him.

Narnia year 1007

Harry was travelling home.

He had been away for exactly a year and could stand it no longer. He had left Calorman after a prolonged stay in Tashbaan due to his researching magic known there. The magic he learned about was not compatible with his magic but it had been a very interesting study none the less and it provided a bit of a distraction from the thoughts of home and the people there. He longed to see Peter, Susan and Lucy again, but every fibre of his being was screaming at him to see Edmund once more. His dearest friend in all of Narnia.

He had crossed the boundary into Narnia on foot three weeks ago, had finished descending the Stormness Head mountain pass only the day before and was continuing to make his way towards the coast to follow that up to Cair Paravel.

He was aching. He was tired. But he was also filled with a strange revitalisation knowing he was going home. Anticipation filled his worn out muscles with purpose and energy, while worry clawed away at his reserves. Now he was back in Narnia the various talking animals he had met had been good enough to provide him with some food to replenish his stores. A squirrel family had happily provided him with a small bag full of nuts to chomp as a snack too which had been invaluable.

Harry just couldn't wait to get back to Cair Paravel. Whatever his greeting was, welcoming or begrudged, he would be happy just knowing he was going home.

Harry was bone weary by the time he left the shrubbery and stepped onto the beach long beach up the coast to Cair Paravel. He took a break and rested on the sand, putting down his bag and digging out the last of his food. He had to reach Cair Paravel by the end of the day otherwise he would not be eating again until he did reach it. Harry ate the remainder of the nuts, the apple he had stored and the final slice of stale bread he had left over from his stay with some less than friendly Dwarfs who were only hospitable because they had seen him perform magic and didn't want him to curse them.

Once he had eaten his lunch he stripped off his outer layers, kicked off his boots, and went for a dip in the sea. The water was very cool against his warm skin and, with the salt, it was hardly cleaning him. It felt good though, and it was a damn site better than attempting to wash himself with the aguamenti spell that created barely more than a drizzle of water. It sufficed to provide him drinking water when he was short on actual supplies, but for washing that spell really didn't do much. He would have to find a different spell, or create one. If only he could remember the spell Hermione used when they all camped while on the horcrux hunt. That had been a good spell. He should have paid more attention.

"I swear if I ever get home I'm going to stock up on books and learn as many spells as I can…" Harry promised to the clouds. That was, of course, if he ever got home. On his travels he had searched for a reason of being. He had come across many different people, many different grievances, and many different philosophies. None of them could account for him being in Narnia. He was still completely clueless as to his purpose in Narnia, and he was even more clueless as to how he could get home. Short of sailing to the edge of the world, assuming Narnia was flat like many people believed and not round like Earth, Harry didn't have any ideas.

He didn't miss home or even his friends. He could count on all his fingers and toes the number of times he had thought about them over the last six and a bit years and still have many spare digits. Harry wondered if that was something to do with the magic in Narnia or the magic that was used to bring him to the world. Maybe that was a lesson in itself, that he relied too much on his friends for everything; company, logic, silliness, strategy, intelligence, motivation, companionship, love, family…the list was endless. If all that time travelling alone had taught him anything it was that he could handle things by himself just fine but also that he needed to do a lot more self-improvement when given the chance.

It didn't teach him what he wanted though. Except to return home, to Cair Paravel. His second home after Hogwarts…although he had lost Hogwarts many years ago so maybe Cair Paravel was his first home.

Harry left the sea completely soaked through. He had a slow rinse off with the aguamenti spell to wash away some of the salt water, spelled his clothes dry then pulled on his outer layers once more. His bag was as light as a feather thanks to the spells he had placed on it that had yet to wear off even after all that time.

He trudged up the sand towards the castle. The light golden sand slipped and slid beneath his feat so after a good few minutes of walking he moved closer to the beach to walk on the hard, wet sand. He wasn't in Tashbaan and in Calormen now, he didn't have to walk on the soft sand to get to places. He could have used apparition to cover the distance, if he hadn't become so out of practise at that particular magic that he wasn't afraid of splinching himself. He would practise his apparating when he was back in Cair Paravel when Lucy had her cordial that could heal him if the worse happened. Then, even if he splinched off limbs he could reattach them crudely and Lucy could use her cordial to heal him up while his spells held him together, so to speak.

He trudged and trudged, getting forced more inland and onto the softer sand the further along the beach he went because of the incoming tide. The beach seemed never ending and he had been walking it for several hours, judging by the sun's position. It was mid-afternoon and it was going to get dark soon yet he still had miles and miles of beach to travel down, Cair Paravel little bigger than a thumbnail in the distance.

Harry took a break, bemoaning the fact that he had run out of food. He drank his fill though and used up the rest of the water in his flask before refilling it with the less thirst quenching wand water. He tipped out the sand that had built up in his shoes, got rid of his sweat soaked shirt and changed into fresh ones after once again using the aguamenti charm to wash off. It might only have been early spring in Narnia but the walk had Harry perspiring and the sun had beamed down on him constantly for many hours.

The sun eventually set casting a wonderful array of colours across the sea and horizon. Harry grabbed a piece of wood that had fallen from a nearby tree, wrapped one of his older shirts around the end and cast it alight so he could see the way in the dark. At this rate he would need at least another hour or so to reach Cair Paravel.

After another hour of walking he saw lights in the distance getting closer and closer. They were travelling quickly, horseback no doubt…or Centaurs. Harry continued on, if they were from the castle then they would recognise him. If they were foe then he had his wand to protect him.

Harry drew out his wand just in case and checked that he had his sword attached at his hip as an extra defence. Should he need to he could discard the fire torch, use his wand as a light, and fight with his sword. But that was only in a last case scenario because his sword work was also a little out of practise.

Hooves sounded on the sand, the dull thuds reaching Harry's ears as they grew closer. He stopped to wait for them, adjusting his grip on his wand just in case things took a turn for the worse.

They were Centaurs, Harry noted as the beings got closer and had him surrounded with three centaurs passing around his back and more horses approached.

"Halt stranger! Halt in the name of Aslan and the High King Peter!" One Centaur demanded and Harry didn't bother dignifying that with a response. He was, after all, already stopped.

"State your name and purpose Stranger." A different Centaur demanded.

"I am travelling to Cair Paravel."

"You seek an audience with the Kings and Queens of Narnia?"

Harry hummed. "Yes…of sorts I suppose."

"Well you either seek us or not Stranger." That was not a Centaur that spoke. That was a voice Harry recognised as Peter's. It was still mostly the same, if a little more mature.

"Although we have saved you the trouble and have come out to meet you." Susan's voice rang out with a measure of disdain.

"Why do you come to visit us? State your name and purpose." Peter demanded again, and in the shadowy light Harry noticed that two horses drew level with what he assumed was Susan's horse. They were all in shadow, the light from the various torches not providing enough light to make their features visible. Harry wondered that they couldn't see his face, although his hair had grown out most shockingly over the year he had been away and it had already been long when he had left Cair Paravel in the first place.

"Well, I was hoping you wouldn't mind if I moved back in." Harry stated sardonically.

"Moved back…" Peter repeated questioningly then trailed off in thought mere moments before Lucy's voice declared 'HARRY!'

"Harry! It's Harry! Oh Harry you're back!" Fabric slid against fabric, feet impacted the ground, and then Lucy was across the sand and embracing him.

Harry laughed and hugged her back tightly relishing the friendly human contact of those he had missed.

"You've grown." He mentioned and Lucy pulled back to beam at him with such radiance Harry wondered how he could have stayed away so long. There was something about Lucy that just made you feel very cared about.

"I did. I'm almost as tall as Susan now." She chirped and indicated to where Susan had just finished climbing off her horse, her long black hair being swept behind her back.

"Good Lord Susan, they do cut hair in Narnia you know." Harry remarked with a gasp. Her hair was to her waist. It had been long when he had left but now it was unbelievably long.

"Funny, that's what Ed said." Peter joked and stepped forwards giving Harry a brief embrace. Harry happily accepted the embrace and the clap on the back before stepping back. "It's good to have you home Harry. You have been greatly missed."

"Nah, you only missed the fireworks at Christmas and birthdays." They laughed but Peter did fail to refute that. Oddly it was Edmund who argued against it.

"Don't forget any party that Lucy deemed it necessary to throw." He gave his sister a brief smirk as he stepped forwards towards Harry. His steps were slow and measured, his dark eyes pinned intensely on Harry. Harry felt like squirming under that gaze.

"Edmund…"

"It's good to have you back Harry, assuming that is that you are coming back and aren't just here for a visit."

"I planned to come back. If I am still welcome to?" Harry explained, feeling like his heart was in his chest when Edmund gave no immediate response to that in action or in words.

"Of course you can come back. We kept your room for you." Susan explained and came over to give him a brief hug and a kiss on the cheek in welcome. Harry accepted her gestures with a smile and a brief glance, but otherwise kept his eyes on Edmund's who had not lifted his gaze from Harry in all that time.

Edmund had grown, in more ways than one. He had gained at least another inch in height and, while he had not broadened out any more, he had filled out more with muscle. No doubt that was due to the training he put himself through daily. Lucy, Peter and Susan had mentioned something on the matter once, twice or a hundred times in their letters.

Ed did look good though. He looked very healthy, strong and with the air of a king secure in his position. He just looked angry still, and his dark eyes swirled with pent up emotion. Harry couldn't turn his eyes away.

"Ed? Tell him he's welcome!" Susan demanded but her words went unheeded for another moment. Edmund just maintained his fixed stare on Harry. Harry felt something inside him crumble a little. Clearly his homecoming wasn't as well met as he had hoped.

He looked away and down to the shadowy sand, light licking and dancing it as the flames on the torches flickered in the breeze. Edmund must still be angry. Harry didn't know if that was positive or negative. It meant that he had severely hurt Edmund which was like a dagger in his own heart. But at the same time it gave him hope. His time away had, as the old adage went, made his heart grow fonder. Things he had never considered before had cropped up in his mind with alarming frequency. It was as if Edmund's declaration had opened the floodgates to Harry's own emotions and made him realise all the things he had missed out on, as well as mull over all the reasons why refusing Edmund had been the best idea at the time. Clearly their time apart had not led to Edmund reflecting on that experience in any positive way. It had just made him angrier.

Boots came to stand directly in his eye line making Harry glance up into dark eyes once more.

"You are always welcome at Cair Paravel." Edmund said.

He gave Harry a brief hug, mimicking the hug Peter gave him. It was brief and not as personal as Peter's, and Edmund let go so abruptly it was almost as if the hug had not taken place at all. If it wasn't for the words whispered into Harry's ear when they embraced then Harry would have thought Edmund was lying when he declared Harry welcome.

"I didn't mean for you to leave in the first place."

Harry tried to meet Edmund's eyes when he pulled away but Edmund stubbornly kept his eyes averted.

"Right well, let's get back to the castle shall we?" Susan directed and moved back over to her horse. Edmund had already reached his and had swung back up onto the seat. Peter moved to help Susan hop on and then helped Lucy before Harry could offer his assistance.

"Come on Harry, I will give you a lift back. Star Dancer, we will be taking Harry as well." Star Dancer was Peter's horse, named such because as a foal he danced under the stars. It meant he grew to be a very quick footed horse, perfect for a High King.

"As you wish." The horse replied.

"Harry can ride with me Peter. Come on Philip." Edmund ordered, he and Philip prancing to just in front of Harry. Edmund leaned down a little and held out his hand to Harry. Harry could barely believe it and he didn't understand the look in Edmund's eyes at all. Still, he cast a spell to extinguish his torch, put his wand away then clasped Edmund's hand, jumping up as well to help get onto Philip's back. He settled behind Edmund, holding onto the king's shoulders and getting settled. "Alright?"

"Yes, I think so. Is Philip alright?"

In answer to that Philip took off trotting towards Cair Paravel.

"Hold my waist." Edmund demanded and reluctantly Harry moved his hands to wrap around Edmund's waist, hugging the body in front of him.

They rode in silence for a while, Harry took a moment or two to get used to riding again. Eventually Edmund's hand landed over the top of Harry's on Edmund's stomach. The touch made something inside Harry clench and his nerves fluttered restlessly and anxiously.

"Why did you leave?" Edmund asked, calling just loud enough to be heard but still quiet enough that nobody else except Harry and Philip could hear.

Harry bit his lip and thought about his answer. "I thought it would help."

"And did it help?"

"I meant I thought it would help you…" Harry mumbled, nerves rattling inside him.

"I didn't need help." Edmund ground out. "So, I'll ask again, did it help Harry?"

"It…" Did it help? "Yes."

"Good."

"Did it help you?" Harry queried softly, wondering at what the answer would be after Edmund's earlier declaration.

"Yes."

Harry didn't know if that was ominous or not. Edmund had ground the word out between his teeth as if reluctant to admit it. What did that mean?

"Oh."