Memories

Stop the World, I Want to Get Off

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If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Her fingers splayed out, wide and soft.

"Nathan…"

The man turned to her, his eyes so torn with turmoil. The virus shooting right through his system.

"Nathan, what's wrong?"

"The…Avengers… Kill…Hope…"

Tora's brow furrowed.

"That's stupid. Why would they do that? After all-"

She cut off. Nathan stepped forward.

"Explain…"

"Etana had books of prophecies, running six centuries past her death. The Avengers were never at threat from the Phoenix. So why would they kill Hope? Nathan, let me fix this…"

Her hand reached out but he pushed it away.

"Tell me. What were you going to say?"

Tora leant forward, pressed her lips to his ear and whispered something into Cable's ear. Captain America could only see Cable's eyes widen in horror and amazement. Then he stepped back.

"She's not in danger?"

"Cable, know this. I will die to protect Hope. Now let me heal you."

Her hand reached out and her fingers met his. Both let out little gasps of pain as water swirled around them both, the metal retreated and Tora's eyes rolled up. Logan was screaming her name but she ignored that, not even letting Nathan complain when she'd pushed the TO mesh back into his arm.

Tora, you don't have to…!

I. Do. Things. Properly. Or. Not. At. All.

The metal was being forced down, into his hand, down into one finger and then it was gone. Dragon and Cable stared at each other for a few brief seconds then both fell backwards, crashing to the floor. Logan abandoned his attempt to pull the Avengers out of the chairs and instead ran to Tora's side, checking her pulse, breathing and pupil dilation.

"Why do you always have to be such a hero?!"

Then he remembered himself and flicked a few switches, lifting Cap out.

"Yep, wait a little. Get used to having your body back. Seriously, I spent over a week in one of those. It ain't nice."

Steve pressed his hand to his forehead.

"That… was terrible…"

"Likely we'd still be there. If it weren't for Storm and her lockpicks. And her coordination of a four-year-old when she was just a baby."

"What do we do with Cable?"

"I'll take my son."

They turned to see Cyclops and Hope, who screamed, ran forward and flung her arms around Cable.

"DAD!"

Logan glanced up at Steve.

"You alright?"

"What did she say, Logan? What did Tora say that stopped Cable in his tracks?"

Logan shook his head.

"I don't know. She obviously didn't want us to hear it. I mean, I've known something's been wrong for a while…"

"What do you mean?"

"She's fine on the X-Men. Enjoys it, which is a minor miracle in itself. But she's withdrawing from the New Avengers. Not quite happy hanging around afterwards. Don't know why."

"You think it's to do with what she said? Or didn't say? 'The Avengers were never at threat from the Phoenix.' That implies we have something that will threaten us."

Logan shrugged.

"I'll ask her when she wakes up."

Then he gently picked her up.

"I better get her back to Hank. She overloaded and that means he'll want her in observation for a while."

"How often does she do this? 'Overload' or whatever?"

"Very rarely. It happens when she's emotionally unstable and starts panicking. Throws too much power into something and wham, she's out like a light!"

"How long will she be out?"

"Depends. Can range from ten minutes to two hours. She loses control at times, forgets that she's just human. Wants to save the universe, not one small part of it. Look, I need to get her back. Trust me on this one."

"You better go. I'll talk with Scott about Cable's behaviour."

Logan frowned.

"Word of advice from a father. Don't think too badly of him. Because if I heard the Avengers were going to be responsible for my kids' death, I'd come after you as well. Give the guy a break."

Then Logan walked out, still cradling Tora to his chest, hunched protectively over her. Steve turned back to Cyclops and Hope, who were bending over Cable, who appeared to have stopped breathing.

"We need to talk about this…"

"Oh, so sweet how Logan recognised Nate's reasoning for protecting Hope…"

"Phoenix"

She woke up and the first face she saw was Logan, his 'we need to talk' face glaring down at her. She considered for a moment before giving herself the satisfaction of a long, drawn-out groan.

"How long was I out?"

"An hour."

She sat up, clutching her head. Healing factor, please kick in round about now. Before I have to go and get some painkillers.

"Has Hank cleared me yet?"

"He says, if you can name the noble gases backwards, you're free to go."

She rolled her eyes, sighed, then spoke.

"Radon, Xenon, Krypton, Argon, Neon, Helium. Right, I'm fine, I better head off-"

Logan just stared at her and she sighed.

"Can we not do this in the Medical Bay? I hate it when students listen in…"

"Fine. But this needs doing."

She got up, held herself up stiffly, knowing she'd sway otherwise. Walked to the door, wished the room would stop spinning. Don't wobble, because he'll know –rather than just suspect- that her 'I'm fine' routine is just a lie and when she did this –when she overloaded her body and mind with more power than it was designed to take- the world was spinning around faster than she could cope with, not in front of her eyes but under her feet. When she did this… When she pushed herself too far out of humanity; too deep into Dragon; she could feel the Earth spinning and the Sun moving and the stars tracing around the centre of the galaxy and it hurt because it was information overload and she couldn't move because then it felt too fast because she was shooting off around and around. She could sense time passing and lives living and it felt so pure and then there was the crash as you came off the power high and you felt grotty for weeks afterwards. So she'd push herself just that little too much to get that feeling of knowing and interconnectedness that came with being not-quite-human.

Because Dragon couldn't feel emotions. And emotionless felt so good right now, that deadened feeling of drifting and the guilt, ever-present, all-consuming guilt.

She reached her room, went in, and turned to face Logan. He was looking exhausted and she suddenly realised that he was barely sleeping anymore, never home and when he was, he managed to plead 'school' to avoid being in the same room alone with her anymore.

"Logan?"

"Listen, Tora, if there's something you want to say, just say it and get it over with."

"What?"

"Look, you don't talk to me, won't spend ten minutes alone with me and basically sleep on the opposite side of the bed so we might as well be in different rooms!"

"You've been avoiding me!"

"Because that hurts less than watching your eyes slide over me like I mean nothing!"

She blinked.

"I… I don't want to hurt you…"

"You're hurting me every day but you can't see that! Stop acting so aloof and above us all! I feel you spend more time outside, away from anyone other than the Witch! It feels like you're spending more time with her than your family! Tora, please, stop this… Either leave or snap back!"

"What… What makes you think I want to leave?"

"Maybe the fact you won't even talk properly! All you ever talk about is X-Men or Avengers stuff! Never just…talking! When was the last time we ever did something that was just for us!"

"The restaurant…"

"Was stakeout for Steve."

"Er…"

"Face it, Tora. We're putting on a show, a face for the others! But we need to decide. I'm not living like this anymore. Either we sort out our problems or we…we agree that this isn't working out."

Tora's face was ashen.

"No…"

Then she stepped backwards and collapsed into a chair, staring up at him with eyes that suddenly seemed unfocussed and almost child-like.

"Tora?"

She was gently rocking backwards and forwards, a shell-shocked expression on her face. Logan gulped.

"Tora…?"

She wasn't even looking at him so he crouched down to look at her and then she was standing up, her eyes flashing silver and her hair was whipping around her, tips fading into water and Logan suddenly was terrified because even when Tora was being Dragon her golden irises remain but now… now her eyes were the empty silver moons of Dark Dragon and the scars were fading away and her voice, when she finally spoke, was the deep, ancient, terrible voice that Logan had last heard four years before, just before Tora died, consumed by her own rage and hatred and fear.

"Don't you DARE suggest that EVER again!"

And then she was falling forward and he caught her as she clenched her eyes shut and muttered under her breath words he had to strain to hear.

"I am Tora. I am not you. I am Tora. I care. I love. I am human. I am not you. I am Tora and I am human."

"We need to get you back to the Med-Bay. Trust me, Tora. This is getting out of control."

She clutched at his shirt, her eyes pleading with him.

"Please don't say you meant that… Please…"

"I didn't…not really…"

She smiled weakly and let him lead her out the room and back to the Med-Bay. And Logan shivered once more at the inhuman face of Dark Dragon that had superimposed Tora's features for a split second.

"That sounds scarily like what happened with me."

"Of course, Phoenix. In the end, that happens to everyone with that power level."