Memories
Failings
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She sat in the semi-darkness, trying to reconcile these two lives that couldn't both be true. She couldn't bring herself to believe that Logan and all their time together… She wouldn't believe it was a lie. Yet this new life…it made sense. It explained her simple step into synch with Dragon, her comfortableness here, so very much. Yet if that world was true, it meant the life she had been living was a lie. And that she could not tolerate. Then she heard a soft voice in her head, a whisper she'd been unable to find until now.
Tora…?
There was a name to that voice, a dear name, a special name…
Tora, it's me, Jeanne. Do you know how terrified everyone is?
Jeanne…
A cat, a tiger; all silvery-grey and gentle, yet strong enough to take a man's head off with one swipe. A part of her yet so different
Tora, are you alright? Oi, Two-Legs!
She smiled slightly.
Tora, is something wrong? You feel…wrong…
Jeanne… Has Logan asked after you?
An uncomfortably embarrassed silence. Then the carefully worded response.
I haven't heard anything, but Scott ignores me most of the time. Thinks I shouldn't have stayed. He put me on his 'Extinction' team –how morbid is that, anyway? He only put me on his main team because he wanted Dragon's power. He doesn't trust me. He just tells me what to do.
Tora ignored the rest of the comment after the first clause. Logan hadn't got in touch. He had ignored her. That either meant he didn't want to find her… or he knew where she was.
Tora? Tora, are you listening to me? Tora, where are you? Tell me where you are! TORA!
But she forced Jeanne out and rose in anger. Her life had been a lie. She'd loved him but he'd never loved her. It had all been a lie, a trick. Something to gain her power, to supress all that she was.
She grabbed the lamp from the table and threw it across the room then screamed as she fell to her knees. She felt slender claws slide from her hands and a new memory came.
"Chuck, this need to be done properly. Else it'll kill her."
"She is the Dragon. She will heal. And she must believe our tale. How has the hollowing of the metacarpals gone?"
"No major damage to the nerves. The adamantium telescopic blades are inserted."
"Good. Now… Ah, she's semi-responsive. Let's have you back into that coma, shall we?"
She collapsed face down as all the memories she'd pushed away came flooding back. Her life was suddenly whole, the true life of the Dragon in the Halls of Knowledge and the lacquer of the X-Man, the Weapon X Project, all the things she thought had defined her. They were just stories, something to hold on to, to make her stay. And then she flung back her head and howled like a wolf, a purely animal expression of regret and loss and anger and hate.
The animal scream echoed around the cavernous room. Phoenix had noticed this often happened. When the woman was particularly emotional, the room reflected that emotion. Right now it was dark and huge, which meant she was darkly introspective, soul-searching the darkest parts of her being.
"Stop being morbid."
"Whah?"
"You. Being morbid. Stop it."
"I'm not being morbid!"
"Room says otherwise."
The woman blushed.
"Okay, I'm just thinking about the past. Happy now?"
Logan slammed his hands into the desk.
"Listen to me, Slim! I need to speak to Jeanne! She's the only bloody chance we have of finding Tora!"
"We're not letting anyone else talk to Jeanne. She's in the Brig most of the time, or with a team member at all other times."
"For pity's sake, she ain't going to sabotage Utopia!"
I'm afraid Scott isn't listening, Logan.
Emma?
Yes. Now, I'm linking you with Jeanne. She has some interesting news.
Jeanne?
Jeanne always confused him. Her mind felt like Tora's but… sharper. More focussed. She was so animalistic that she mostly thought in terms of needs. Food. Water. Shelter. Cubs. Protect. Hunt. Run. There was a slight fuzziness around the edges, the human part that separated the world into 'me' and 'them', that had an idea of 'mercy' and 'joy'. Yet Jeanne always scared him slightly. Good and bad were just words to her. Animals don't have a concept of evil. And at her heart, Jeanne was an intelligent being but still a beast.
Logan. Tora spoke but… I may have upset her.
Where is she?
I don't know! Regret –one of the few human emotions she felt- rolled off Jeanne. She blocked me from her except to talk. But she's confused and conflicted. She… She felt wrong.
How?
How should I know? I'm just a cat.
Logan, this is Emma. I'll have to break the link. Scott has called a meeting. Apparently we're looking for Tora ourselves.
Thanks, Em.
Don't call me that ridiculous pet name. And Logan?
Yeah?
Find her. Before it's too late. I once drove the Phoenix insane. Stop someone else from making the same mistake.
The link was cut abruptly and he knew that Emma had gone off once more. Then he heard a low voice speak his name.
"Logan?"
"What do you want?"
The Scarlet Witch walked in, looking embarrassed.
"I've tried a few things. Nothing has come of it, but… Logan, we think we've found something."
"What?"
She held out a hand, unfurling it to reveal a gleaming silver brooch set with sapphires. The Dragon, wings spread and head roaring.
"We found this where she disappeared. The Avengers thought it might be hers but she never wore jewellery like that. It would catch or get damaged. And the fools didn't tell us."
Logan grabbed it and inhaled. His eyes widened.
"I got this scent at the building! Right, we need to get there as fast as possible!"
Wanda nodded, held out her hands and waved them. And they faded out in a ball of red light, reappearing at the building. Logan stormed forward and inhaled, then pointed two fingers east.
"That way."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. They cloaked their scent leaving, but not entering."
"What if they aren't going back to the same place?"
"The trail will head back there eventually. And… I think they want us to find this. They want us to follow. I don't like this."
"You think it's a trap?"
"Of course."
"So what are we going to do?"
"We?"
"Certainly. I can get Tora out if need be without fighting. Anyway, I'm not letting you go gallivanting off into a trap on your own."
"I don't gallivant. I spring traps and leave the teeth empty."
"Whereas I set off the traps before we're anywhere near them."
They stared at each other and then Logan grunted.
"This way."
He marched off and Wanda hurried after him, knowing that they would never accept each other but for the sake of Tora they would work together.
"They did always have the most cordial hate-hate relationship I have ever seen."
"Well, when Tora wanted to be friends with both of you, you didn't try and kill each other because it just annoyed her."