Memories
Minds
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"You are Dr Timothy Stevens, yes?"
The man nodded, then looked around.
"In the interests of client-confidentiality, I would like to ask that only those needed remain in the room."
"Dr Stevens!"
"What I'm going to talk about is incredibly personal. I don't think that it should be broadcast."
There was a hurried consultation then the decision.
"Will all but the jury, the attorneys and court officials please leave."
There were a few minutes of grumbling noise then silence. Dr Stevens looked over at Tora who was pointedly not looking at him. He cleared his throat.
"Ms…Circen…was referred to me when she first joined the New Avengers."
"What were your first impressions of her?"
"Taciturn… Irritable… Suffering a survivor's guilt complex… Possible schizophrenic, maybe suffering Dissociative Identity Disorder… Emotionally repressed… Highly intelligent… Very empathic, so the accusations of sociopathy are simply untrue… Still in Stage 2 of the Kübler-Ross grieving process, very angry, very upset and so throwing up blocks to keep out others. Quite a lot of self-hatred. Saw herself as a realist, but rather pessimistic."
He shrugged.
"Almost certainly suffering PTSD as a result of her childhood and recent life. In the space of about three years, some of her eldest friends died. I realised that she –bereft of relationships as a child- has a habit of forming enmeshed relationships. Those closest to her are relied on quite heavily. Take one of them away –they have a fight or one dies- and she can't cope."
He shrugged.
"She opened up later. Talked about her history with depression and how she felt her role as a mother defined her. However, she would refuse point-blank to answer questions on certain subjects."
"Such as?"
"The death of Nightcrawler, the Decimation of the mutants, her current emotional state. As the sessions increased, she appeared to become agitated, very nervous, almost scared. She had a breakdown and was kept in a secure psychiatric facility for a month. She came in for a few weeks and wouldn't talk then suddenly opened up. She admitted that she wanted to feel needed. To her, her identity is defined by how others rely on her. When asked to describe herself, she used words like 'wife', 'mother', 'teacher'. Never defining herself through her own eyes. She sees herself as she is to others."
"Any other observations you may have made, Dr Stevens?"
"She has difficultly separating Dragon from her everyday persona. She is defined as a hero. She cannot reconcile Tora the woman with Dragon the New Avenger. In her eyes they are one person and it is highly unhealthy for her to be living in a permanent state of confusion. She also admitted to having marital problems in that she only spoke to her husband about X-Men or Avengers related business. I mentioned a marriage counsellor but she reacted very negatively to that idea."
"Did she expand on her marriage problems?"
"Yes, but I don't feel that her marriage is a factor in this. Her marital problems stem from her other, much more serious mental problems. I mean, she's still probably suffering from her kidnapping…"
"Would you care to expand on this?"
"The first hint I had for how badly the event affected her was because she asked me to firstly come to the Jean Grey School and secondly, the appointment wasn't arranged. She has always given the impression that she only came to our meetings because it is Avengers policy for bimonthly therapy sessions."
"What was the result?"
"To begin with, she seemed very calm about the whole event but the further I delved, the more I found out that it had disturbed her. She –like I said before- defines herself by how others relate to her. Her captors made her believe her entire life was a lie and attempted to supplant another life for her. One of her captors… He –she refused to name him- made it appear as if he had a past relationship with her –a relationship ended only by her 'kidnapping' by the X-Men. From what she said, she had memories of an…explicit nature implanted as well as…emotions… She said that…well, he tried to 'restart' their 'relationship' and it was only her own deep-rooted unease that prevented his advances. All the progress she was making just… vanished."
"Dr Stevens, what would you say Ms Circen's current state of mind is?"
"I honestly can't say. When I tried to talk with her, she ignored my existence almost totally. Watching the surveillance footage suggested that she is horrified by what she did and incredibly pessimistic about her chances. She also suffers amnesia and is struggling to cope, especially with prolonged separation from her children."
Tora glanced over, head moving in a swift, predatory movement. Dr Stevens ignored her. Jen leant forward.
"Could you honestly say that Ms Circen was responsible for her actions?"
Dr Stevens shrugged.
"I'd definitely say diminished responsibility."
"Would you say she is insane?"
"No. Ill, yes. Insane, no. In fact, she has a very clear grasp on reality."
"Dr Stevens, would you allow Ms Circen to continue in a high stress environment such as the Avengers or X-Men?"
"Seeing as that appears to be her primary method of coping, yes."
"Meaning?"
"She uses her work on the New Avengers as a buffer from reality. Her 'normal' life gets too complex? Go and hide in the Avengers Mansion for a few hours. A form of escapism."
"Thank you, Dr Stevens."
There was ringing silence. He looked at Tora, but the woman didn't even glance in his direction.
"One more thing."
She glanced round, her eyes suddenly afraid.
"She's dying."
Phoenix sighed.
"I'd call that a major betrayal of trust."
"Actually, she saw it as that as well. Never spoke to him again."
"Ms Circen, would you care to explain the nature of that last comment of Dr Stevens?"
She looked up.
"I can't."
"Why not? Do you have a disease of some kind?"
She slowly shook her head.
"Ms Circen, could you please…"
"I'm dying! That's all anyone has to know! That's all that matters and I don't see why you care! I'm dying but I can hold it off until I'm no longer needed!"
"Ms Circen…"
Tora turned her head away but then a quiet, authorative voice spoke out.
"She was tied to another who is now dead. It is only strength of will that keeps her here."
"Who said that?!"
Strange stood up, lowering his head.
"I did. She is slowly dying and it is only a sense of duty to protect us and love for her children that she does not simply die."
Tora turned her head away.
"Can you explain, Dr Strange?"
"It's…difficult… to explain fully. Two people, who are not in love but nonetheless love one another unconditionally, who rely on one another to the point that bonding occurs so deeply that they impart something of themselves onto the other, something so vital to who they are that to kill one is to take from the other such an intregal part of their being that they will soon eventually fade."
"Fade, meaning…?"
"Slowly lose sight of what there is to live for, until eventually, there is nothing left to live for and they die."
"No."
They turned. Tora had her head down.
"Pardon?"
"That's not what it's like. It's… It's like someone has torn out a lung. You can't breathe properly. And then you look at those you love and it hurts because you know you will leave them when they need you most but you can do nothing. Because you feel dead inside and you can't cope because you look at those who need you and you can't be there for them because you're so weak."
Stephen looked over at her with the saddest of smiles.
"Grief is not a weakness."
"Oh, but she'd never accept that."
A.N. Check out Marvel's Psyche Ward. It's quite interesting.