Memories

Forgiveness

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"Ms Circen, we feel that we have enough evidence. Sentencing will take place tomorrow."

"WAIT!"

Everyone turned to see a woman standing up. She looked nervous but then she spoke.

"I… I want to add something…"

Madrox and Walters exchanged the briefest of glances then nodded. The woman was named, sworn in and then she stood there nervously.

"I…I represent a group of… My daughter died six months ago. But eighteen months before that, Dragon came as part of the Make A Wish Project. She spent the entire day with my daughter and at the end of the day, she made me an offer. She offered to stop my daughter's pain, so she wouldn't live out the rest of her life either in agony or without feeling because of the painkillers were so strong. And I accepted. Of course I did. And as she left, I saw her wince. She hadn't said she'd get rid of the pain. She said take the pain. She lived with my daughter's pain and it made my daughter's last year and a half so much easier. And when I asked around, I found that at any one time, she would be likely to be carrying some ten or twelve children's pain. At the moment… At the moment… Do you mind if I check…? At the moment, she is carrying the pain of thirteen terminally-ill children, making their last few months and their time with their families infinitely better. And she takes the pain. All the pain, to protect these children she has no tie to."

She lowered her head down.

"I don't think someone who does that would be capable of the things you say she did. Thank you."

And Tora smiled sadly, gazing at the woman with a mixture of compassion and understanding.


"How sweet."

"Well, Phoenix, you'll love the next bit."


They hadn't seen each other since she had been dragged from him, still unconscious. They faced each other, not quite sure what to say and then they quietly slid into each other's arms. She buried her head in his chest and inhaled as he smoothed her hair and then she heard his voice, felt the rumble of his chest.

"Steve's turned everything off."

She pulled back and frowned. He looked awkward.

"Sorry. Steve's turned off all surveillance. Apparently it's a right."

She smiled weakly.

"I've missed you."

"I missed you too."

She looked worried.

"How are-"

"The kids are fine. Missing you like crazy but fine. No one's tried to kill them. Seeing as all the worst villains know we have kids, why are we even trying to deny it?"

"Logan, I'm sorry about what Stevens said…"

"Look, I heard about that. Don't worry. He's got a way of making you say stuff doesn't he?"

She smiled softly and hugged him again.

"Logan… I…"

"Tora, we need to talk."

She frowned but gestured towards the seats. They sat facing each other and Logan looked exhausted.

"I know what Cyke offered you."

She stiffened.

"Logan, I wasn't…"

"If they sentence you tomorrow, I want you to go with him."

"Logan, I can't…"

"Wait. I'd rather have you out there, knowing you're not locked up with a load of people we put in the Raft in the first place. I know being on the run with Scott will be difficult but I've heard through the grapevine we've got going that he's planning to evacuate Utopia and start a new school. One that 'trains mutants to face what we're up against'. We've already had a number of his group jump ship to us. He lost a lot of friends with his treatment of this whole thing."

"I heard about Ororo…"

"I'd rather have you with him, keeping an eye on things there. I casually mentioned it to Steve –he'd rather have you there as a limiter than let Slim run around unchecked."

Tora shook her head.

"I'm not doing that. Steve has been talking at me for a while. He's got a good idea going. Even if I'm on the Raft, he wants me separate. Then –after about a month- he plans to stick me on the Thunderbolts. Gain back trust that way. Eventually he'll persuade his bosses to put me up for parole for good behaviour and use all the stuff I've done on the Thunderbolts to see if I can get released."

Logan swore.

"That'll take years! Everyone agrees Songbird's Avengers material now, but she was refused parole less than two weeks back!"

Tora shook her head.

"I have to do this legit. I can't just run. I have to earn back trust. The Thunderbolts get life easier than most of the Raft inmates and as Steve pointed out, they'll want someone who'll actually care about civilian casualties."

Logan closed his eyes.

"Steve said you'd been ignoring him."

"Logan, I'm very good at appearing to ignore people. Actually doing it is very difficult."

"So when you blanked me for two months…?"

"No, I actually was blanking you. I conditioned myself to be unable to hear you."

"Remind me not to annoy you."

"Logan, I think you know that well enough."

"Seriously? You want to go through the Thunderbolts?"

"Yes."

"You do know… You do know Poacher's on the Raft?"

She looked at him sharply.

"You think I'd forget that? She's kept in solitary all the time. They're more afraid of her than Crossbones."

"What if she tries to…?"

"Seriously? Frankly, all the inmates are as scared of her as the guards are. She has a history of… How shall I put this…? Ah, yes. A violent history. If she gets out, she's just as likely to attack an inmate as a guard. Didn't you hear what she did during the big breakout when the hammers hit?"

"No…"

"She almost killed one of the prisoners then tried to take Shroud's head off. Luckily, Pietro had just arrived and managed to save the poor guy."

"Shroud? Don't really…"

"Tall. Bit like Cloak, to tell the truth. A Darkforce but no teleportation. Blind?"

"Oh. Him."

"You haven't a clue who I'm talking about, do you?"

"Nope."

They laughed and suddenly the barriers were down. Tora reached out and her fingers brushed his chest.

"Steve said I hurt you…"

"It's nothing."

It wasn't. The scarring was light –the cuts hadn't been deep- but they were still there. On a man who healed, the pale white lines on his chest were a reminder of the fact he was still human. They had never threatened his life but the marks were more than that. Tora herself had inflicted them, a single broad strike across the chest when he attacked her. A mark of trust betrayed.

She shook her head.

"I still hurt you. That's why I have to do this properly. To prove to myself that I'm… This isn't about forgiveness, except that which I can give myself."

He touched her face.

"You're your own worst enemy, you know that?"

She nodded slightly.

"I have to be."


Phoenix rolled her eyes.

"That woman…"


A.N. I just saw Iron Man 3. Now through this computer, I shall hypnotize you into going. It is well worth it.