A/N: Thank you for the reviews! And thank you to DaisyJane. Right, if you listen to none of the songs I put at the beginning of each chapter, then please go to YouTube and listen to this one, because it's just beautiful, and it's a perfect fit for the chapter.

Are we liars in denial?

Are we smoke without the fire?

Tell me, please, is this worth it?

I deserve it,

'Cause she's gone,

And I'm picking up the pieces,

I watch you cry,

But you don't see,

That I'm the one by your side,

'Cause she's gone,

In her shadow is it me you see?

'Cause all that's left is you and I,

And I'm picking up the pieces,

She left behind.

Picking Up The Pieces—Paloma Faith

Chapter Ten

There was a stunned silence, in which everyone stared at each other: Alexa at Thomas, Thomas at J'onn, J'onn at Kal and Kal at Alexa. She was completely taut with anger, and when she spoke, her voice seethed.

"Psych evaluation?"

"Yes. Don't look at me like that—you both agreed that council members should also take part in them. You two happened to be first on the list."

"No one agreed to full virtual reality scenarios! And the fucking Titanic, Thomas?"

He grimaced. "Alright, I'll admit that was ill-judged –"

"Ill-judged? You're damn right it was ill-judged!"

"But the fact remains you both failed," he overrode her, "and you'll both have to retake the evaluation."

Alexa let out an outraged and derisive noise and stormed towards the door. Kal knew exactly how she felt. No wonder everything had skipped ahead when the ship started to sink—no wonder there had been something wrong the entire time. Facing a morally complicated choice in a virtual training environment was one thing; facing an impossible one?

When Thomas swore and made to go after his sister, Kal stopped him. "Maybe I should go."

Tom sighed. "Maybe you should."

"We'll discuss this when I get back," Kal added warningly to J'onn as he followed Alexa.

She had obviously moved quickly, as she was nowhere in the Metrotower. When he got to the teleporter room, the technician—still looking pale in the wake of Batwoman, no doubt—told him she'd gone back to Gotham. Kal input the coordinates for the Batcave from memory and then stepped on the pad. When he appeared in the Cave. Alexa was standing at the computer, tapping furiously away on the touch-keypad. He moved to just behind her, silently.

"They had no right," she said, still mad as hell from the tone of her voice.

"We agreed."

"I know," she spat, pulling up another window and gesturing angrily at it. "I already checked."

"Hardly their fault we weren't listening properly," he said.

"Entirely their fault we weren't given any prior warning! And the fucking Titanic? Tom should have done his research—if he'd bothered at all then he would have known that was completely inappropriate for the purposes of a psych evaluation! 'We both failed'—what else did they expect?"

"What are you doing now?" he asked.

"Hacking in to Thomas' League files. I'm not going to be taken unawares again, and if he thinks I'm going to play along with the next one then he has another thing coming!"

She pulled all the files from Tom and then did the same to J'onn's files, and then started looking for the results from the other psych evaluations to have taken place.

"Hundred per cent pass rate. Until now anyway. Of course, no one else had to choose between doing what they were supposed to do and the collapse of the League itself." After that, she pulled up a copy of the agenda for the next meeting and added, 'Revaluation of the Psychological Evaluation'.

"Is that necessary?" Kal asked.

'Yes. It makes sense for an evaluation like that to be carried out before any new member joins the League—put them in a fraught scenario and see what they'll do. For existing members –" she shook her head. "Especially council members. It's ludicrous. And insulting."

"We still need psychological evaluation too, Alexa."

She glanced at him. "I'm not saying we don't. But they should be small-scale and conducted with a professional psychologist, and a telepath present. We prove that we make the right kind of decisions on a daily basis. You've been proving you can for over a century."

"True," he admitted.

"Then absolutely no one has the right to decide you suddenly need to have that ability tested," she replied crisply. A few minutes later, she was finished typing. "Done."

He regarded her seriously when she turned to face him. "Are you okay?"

"Obviously not; I'm still angry as –"

"I mean, are you okay?"

Her shoulders slumped, and she pulled her mask off to run her hands roughly through her hair. "No. Really not. Are you?"

"No."

She sighed and hugged him. Though surprised by the contact, he didn't shun it—far from it. "At least there was nothing we could have done," she murmured. "Those people … they were dead before either of us were alive."

He nodded. "Exactly. That's what I'm pissed about. They didn't have to make us watch that."

Alexa pulled back, and he pretended not to notice her wiping her eyes. "Didn't know you could swear."

They were interrupted by the sound of the teleport, and Thomas appeared. Alexa went back to glaring. He put his hands up. "I just came to explain."

"Explain what?"

"Why you had to watch the ship actually sink. There was a glitch in the programme. Once the subject is under, the computer can't be interrupted until it's run its course. That ended with the sinking of the ship. Making you go through that last hour … it wasn't intentional."

"I'll just bet it wasn't," Alexa growled. She moved forwards and past her brother. "I'll talk to you later, Thomas. At the moment I don't think I can look at you. Kal, I'll see you around."

She shot into the air and out of the cave. Tom sighed. "She's never going to forgive me, is she?"

"She will. She's just shaken up. You pretty much did the worst thing you could to her."

Tom frowned. "What, put her on the Titanic?"

"No. You made her powerless."

March rained its way into April that year, and continued raining for about the first fortnight. It made Alexa's patrols uncomfortable, but more effective on the whole. Something about rain combined with shadows that made the criminals extra twitchy, and therefore a lot easier to scare the living daylights out of. But it made her wet, and cold, and her suit chafed in not-very-nice places. She was very glad to get home and into a warm bed afterwards. Tonight would end differently—she had a training session with Kal scheduled, and she always looked forwards to them.

Her com-link beeped. "Cave to Batwoman."

"Go ahead."

"Message from Supes –"

"Don't call him that."

"Sorry," Thomas said, and she could hear him rolling his eyes. "Message from Kal-El, the Man of Steel, Last Son of Krypton –"

"Thomas."

"He wants a rain check on the training tonight. No pun intended."

Alexa frowned. She didn't think Kal had ever cancelled on her before. "Did he say why?"

"Just that he wasn't feeling up to it. Did you actually wear Superman out, Lexie?"

She ignored that. They hadn't actually seen each other in more than a week. She had been really anticipating tonight. "Where's his com-link placing him?"

"Metrotower. Sparring suite two."

"Anyone else with him?"

"No, doesn't look like it. That's weird."

It was weird. Alexa didn't like it. She stood, then jumped off the edge of the building. "Keep on eye on Gotham, Tommy. I'm in Metropolis if you need me."

When she got to the Metrotower, she went down to the sparring suites without speaking to anyone, though she waved to Barda from a distance, and indicated that she'd catch up with her later. When she got to suite two, she keyed open the door—it wasn't locked, so she didn't have to use her override.

"Kal? I know you're in here. Bats might not be able to see well but we can hear just fine."

The more she listened, though, the more obvious it was that something was wrong. His breathing was off; laboured, there were hitches in it that in anyone else she would have called sobs. As her eyes adjusted to the gloom, Alexa saw him.

"Kal? What's wrong?"

Sitting listlessly in the furthest corner of the room, he shook his head. "Nothing."

"Tell me."

He looked up at her, and then sighed. "It was fifty years ago today my wife died."

Batwoman gave the command to deadlock the doors, then took her mask off. "Can I join you? Or would you prefer to be alone?"

"No. Actually no."

She sat down, and Kal shook his head again, wiping a stray tear away. "I'm being stupid."

"Why, because you miss your wife? That's not unreasonable, Kal."

"But it's been half a century."

"Well, that's true. So what is the expiration date on grief nowadays?"

"Point taken."

"We're not infallible. And if we were we'd be terrifying. You can't deny the pain of loss anymore than I can. We're only –" she broke off with a small chuckle.

"What?"

"Well, I was going to say 'we're only human', but that's not really true of either of us, is it?"

He smiled briefly, and then there was a quiet pause. Alexa settled herself more comfortably against the wall. "Tell me about her."

"I wouldn't have any idea where to start."

Alexa pursed her lips. "Her teeth?"

A laugh this time, at which she grinned, and then sobered. "Was she pretty? I bet she was pretty wasn't she?"

"She was beautiful."

Batwoman did not go back to patrol that night, and nor did she manage to see Barda. Instead she sat next to the man she wanted more than any other, and listened to him talk about his long-dead wife. The long-dead wife he was so very obviously—so very painfully—still in love with.

Just after dawn, Kal stopped talking. His tears had long dried; she'd got him to smile, laugh even, and comforted him during the darkest hours of the night. He had thanked her and left, heading into the Metropolis sunrise without a look back. Alexa wished she could have forgotten everything so easily. Was it just her feeling this way? Had she just taken an infatuation too far? Maybe she'd misjudged everything that had passed between them? And if she hadn't, then what could she do about it? Obviously now was a terrible idea… but now she was aware she was living and toiling in the massive shadow of something else. A shadow named Lois Lane. How had she not seen it? She knew he mourned, but to still be in love …

Oh Kal. No wonder you can't see me. Will you ever be able to?

Feeling conflicted and upset, Alexa naturally looked for solace. And she could think of only one person she would be able to confide in without fear of judgement or scruple: her grandmother. She took the invisible jet to Themyscira that afternoon, and touched down on one of the sandy beaches of the island with complete relief. Isla Wayne might be where she had grown up, but this was her second home, after Gotham. Being here was always comforting. The rest of the world would one day leave her—Gotham would become a utopia, her parents and brothers would age and die, but Hippolyta, Themyscira and the Amazons would forever welcome her.

She flew to the palace and landed in the forum, smiling as Amazons all rushed over to greet her. Chief among them was Phillipus—Alexa bowed respectfully to her former teacher, and was pulled into a hug in answer for it. "Been too long, Princess."

Alexa smiled. "I agree."

"And you'll have gone soft in all the time you've been away, I'll be bound."

"I hope not, sister. Though you'd be a better judge than me."

"Yes, and I will be judging, later. Come on. You're here to see the Queen?"

"I am."

"She's with the Senate at the moment, or she was. I'm sure she won't mind breaking early for her favourite granddaughter though."

Sure enough, Hippolyta broke her up meeting with the senate almost as soon as she saw Alexa—or interrupted it anyway. She embraced Alexa, kissing her on both cheeks. "Alexandra. Welcome back."

"My Queen."

"None of that."

Alexa grinned and hugged Hippolyta again. "I've missed you, Yaya."

"Will you join us?"

"Thank you, but I am not dressed appropriately, and I don't want to cause offence."

"That is of no matter," Hippolyta said, leading her into the senate.

Alexa exchanged greetings with the Amazons in there, some informal and some not. They all welcomed her, but she was not dressed as a senator, and it seemed odd, Batwoman sitting in the senate. To help, Alexa removed her mask, the top half of her suit and her gloves. Hippolyta sat back on her throne, smiling as Alexa took her unofficial place a little distance away.

The debate appeared to be about introducing an ambassador to the United Nations. At the moment, Themyscira did not officially exist—they had no voice in the international community and, without Diana, were becoming isolated from Man's World once again. Some Amazons saw this as a good thing: Themyscira had lived apart from war, deprivation, greed for millennia, and there was no reason why they should not do so again. Others argued that they needed to rebuild ties because isolation led to alienation, and mistrust.

Hippolyta listened to both sides with neutrality, and put in the occasional diplomatic comment. As the arguments faded, she said, "What do you think, Alexandra?"

Alexa blinked. "Me?"

One of the senators got to her feet. "My Queen. I understand that Alexandra is of your blood, and therefore royalty, but surely she has no vote on their council? She is no senator. I mean no offence, naturally, Princess," she added to Alexa.

"None taken."

"it is a fair question," Hippolyta nodded. "And I will answer you, sister. It is simple: as an Amazon, Alexandra has a vote in this island's future as much as any of us. In addition, she can offer a more knowledgeable point of view than any of us here—she has lived in Man's World, still does. That is why I am curious to hear what she thinks."

The challenger nodded. "Then I withdraw my objection, my Queen."

Hippolyta acknowledged her with a gracious nod, then turned back to her granddaughter. "Alexandra?"

Alexa searched for the words to frame her answer, then said, "It is very possible you—we—will not be able to fade back into mythology."

"We did it once."

"Yes, but that was when Man's World was far less developed. It still had a reverence for the gods, for magic, and legends. Now, their mentality is very different. Secularism of all types is growing; magic is regarded as technology that is, as yet, indecipherable. Legends are picked apart for the shreds of historical truth in them. I do not say these are bad things—they are still capable of respect, even if they have lost reverence. If the Amazons withdraw, they may follow. And if there are people willing to try and exploit, to attack Themyscira –"

"Then we will show them what we did to Heracles and his ilk!" someone cried, to cheers from some of the others.

Alexa waited until they had died down. "Weapons technology has advanced somewhat since the days of Heracles. You may not be able to repel modern weaponry easily, if at all."

"And how would joining the international community protect us against that?" Hippolyta asked.

"As a sovereign member of the United Nations, Themyscira would benefit from the protection of the Declaration of Human Rights, economic and political sanctions and, if necessary, the protection of UN Peacekeeping forces. It will also be easier to bring the full weight of the League to bear for our benefit, should we need it."

"Do we not already have that?"

"You have me, unquestionably. And the League will fight injustice wherever it occurs—but it's less messy, diplomatically speaking, than if we don't have UN backing."

Hippolyta held up a hand when Alexa had finished, stalling any further debate. "Thank you, sisters. You have made compelling arguments on both sides. I will give you my decision tomorrow. For now though, I would like to spend some time with my granddaughter."

The rest of the day was spent in the relaxed contentment Alexa had hoped for, being gently teased and loved and spoiled by her grandmother's treats and blessings. They spoke about parents, brothers, Gotham, the League; they went into the gods' temple and worshipped together, and ate, drank, laughed. Alexa had been upset when she arrived, and with a dilemma, but now she had only the dilemma. And that would be soon resolved, she was sure.

After dinner and good wine had loosened both their tongues, Hippolyta suggested a walk down to the beach. By this time, Alexa had changed into more traditional dress: a light blue chiton and sandals, and these she removed so that she could walk in the sea's foam.

Hippolyta smiled at that. "So much like your mother."

Alexa smiled, and they continued in silence for a little while.

"You spoke well today. In the senate."

"Thank you. Why did you want me to speak? It wasn't only for the reasons you said, was it?"

"No," Hippolyta admitted. "While my reasons were true … I wanted you to have the experience of the senate."

"Why?"

"Because I am filled with wanderlust, my child. Because quite soon, I am going to wish to leave Themyscira for a while, and see Man's World. See beyond it, if I can."

Alexa blinked. "Leave?"

"Not soon in your terms perhaps—fifty years' hence, perhaps a century. It will pass quickly enough. But when I do go, I wish to know that my kingdom will be in safe hands."

"You're grooming me to rule?" Alexa asked, stunned. "What about Mom? She's your daughter, she's first in line to the throne –"

Hippolyta sighed. "Darling, you know that Diana is more dear to me than anything in this world or the next—except you. And she will always be an Amazon. When she –" here a spasm of grief stopped her voice, and she had to pause before continuing, "When she dies, she will be buried here. Your father too, if he wishes it. But they are mortal. Because of that, their minds, their politics, would be bound by their mortality. We Amazons have always played the long game. If a value in society takes a hundred years to shift, a policy to come to fruition, then so be it. If you know you will see it, you can be patient."

"Alright. But Mom has been immortal, she can't have forgotten something so basic."

"I am sure she has not. But others could well have. There are those—though they dare not say it to me—who believe she has betrayed Amazon ideals, by choosing love over the destiny the gods might have next assigned her. Appointing Diana my regent would be contentious at the very best. At the worst, it could lead to defection by some."

"Like Antiope?" Alexa asked quietly.

Hippolyta looked at her sharply. "Yes, like Antiope. I lost not only my own sister then, but also many Amazons when the Bana-Migdall vanished. I've no desire to let that happen again. Continuity may count for a lot. And in that case, Diana cannot be Queen."

"So I must be? Yaya …"

"It will not be now," Hippolyta soothed. "You are still yet too young. But one day, yes, I intend that you should rule in my stead. And the future is never certain; one day you may well be Queen in your own right."

Alexa shivered and pulled her grandmother into a hug. "Please don't speak of your death so lightly."

Hippolyta stroked her hair. "Do not worry, my little sun and stars. I will not leave you yet."

"I do not want you to leave me at all."

"That is in the hands of the gods. Now—we have discussed what I wanted. Now what is it that bothers you, Alexandra?"

"I … It seems so trivial now."

And in light of their discussion, perhaps it did not even matter. Having servants and being surrounded by wealth in a fictional life had made Kal uncomfortable—she could not see him agreeing to be the consort of a Queen. There was no one more worthy, but he would never see that.

"Judging by how troubled you look, I'd say it is an affair of the heart," Hippolyta said drily. "Man or woman?"

She sighed. "Man."

"And are you in love?"

"I don't know. No," she amended honestly. "But I easily could be."

Hippolyta sighed. "Don't tell me, Alexa—you have followed your mother's example."

"No, he's not mortal."

"Then he is one of those so-called 'New Gods'?" Hippolyta asked, her tone one of distaste."

Alexa smiled. "Yaya, one of those New Gods is my best friend, and she can't help being what she is. But in any case no, he's not a New God."

The Queen frowned. "Then he is … not of this world?"

Alexa nodded. "Kryptonian."

"Kryptonian. That sounds familiar. Wasn't he –?"

"Superman, yeah. You've met him, I think."

"Yes, a few times. He was a close friend of your mother's."

"Exactly why Mom and Dad aren't the ones having this conversation with me. I can't see how they'd understand. They suspect something, at least on my side. But they think it is merely an infatuation. They think he cannot reciprocate."

"Then they underestimate how beautiful you have become. Not only on the outside. Superman –"

"Kal. He goes by his birth name now. Kal-El."

"Kal. Does he feel the same about you?"

Alexa sighed and sat down in the sand. "I know he wants me. I don't know how deeply. The situation is … complicated."

Hippolyta joined her. "Tell me."

"He's a widower. He married a human woman, a long time ago, and she died."

"As humans are apt to do."

"As far as I can tell, she would have made a pretty good Amazon, if the gods had willed it that way," Alexa said, thinking of what Kal had told her of Lois' fiery nature.

"And he still mourns?"

"More than mourns, Yaya. I think he still loves her. I think he is still in love with her, and it's clashing with however he feels about me. So he does nothing. And I cannot bear to do nothing any longer."

Hippolyta nodded. "I see your problem."

"I'm not used to competing for the things I want. I will fight for them, yes, but how do I fight a woman who does not exist? And I'm unsure if I should be fighting it. She was there before I was."

"What does your heart tell you?"

"My heart tells me to wait," she said, gritting her teeth in frustration.

"And your instincts?"

"To pounce. As soon as possible, and worry about it after I've bedded him. Neither seem like the right thing."

"Your instincts are those of an Amazon. But we are women too, and that is where your heart comes in."

"Then what do I do?"

"Play the long game," Hippolyta said gently. "You both have forever, and in relative terms, he will come to you soon, and everything will be as you desire it."

"And in the meantime? I will admit, Yaya, I did not wish your council to be patience."

"I know. But you do not yet know what it is to be ageless. It may take fifty years, but he will come to you. No one could have you at their side and be unaware of it for long."

"Fifty years? I think another week might be beyond me!"

"Physical desire is easy to assuage. Find release, if you seek it. Your Kal-El may be extraordinary, but in the bed one man is much the same as any other."

Alexa laughed. "It's amazing how many similarities there seem to be between the twenty second century and Ancient Greece."

"The best ideas never fade away."

"So this is your solution? Wait for Kal to come to me, but in the meantime find myself someone to –"

"Have fun with. That's all. Enjoy yourself."

The more Alexa thought about it, the less ridiculous it seemed. It had been months now since she'd last had sex, and she couldn't keep hanging around waiting for Kal to wake up. Besides, the truth was, he'd had a chance to kiss her, or to make any kind of overture towards her. He'd chosen not to—fair enough. She was attracted to him, yes, but there were other fish in the sea, other men in the world she found attractive. And she would not allow sexual tension to start interfering with other aspects of her life. When Kal was ready … Hippolyta was right, she thought. When he was ready, Kal would come to her. For now …

Once back in Gotham, she picked up the holophone and dialled a particular number.

"Hi, Michael? It's Alexandra Wayne. I'm in New York from tomorrow for the opening of the new opera house—is that dinner invitation still open?"

A/N: Told you he'd be back! Review please!