A/N: Thank you for the reviews! And thank you for the wonderful and amazing DaisyJane. If you've never read any of her fics (and frankly, where have you been?), then now is the time, because she is a truly fantastic writer.

Used to be so close to me,

Everything happened so easily,

Life with you was like a dream,

Without you, there's no way to be,

Need your devotion,

Need your devotion,

Ready to love,

Do you want it or not?

Can we find a way to bring it back again?

Devotion—Jessie Ware

Chapter Fifteen

Alexa gave Barda the glare that her family was famous for having.

Barda just raised an eyebrow and gave her a look that said without any words 'I helped change your diapers, that face won't work on me'. "Answer the question," she commanded.

Seeing she was definitely not going to back down on this topic, Alexa sighed. "I don't know. I'm not … not in love with him."

Barda's jaw dropped. "But what about Michael? You're getting married –"

"Michael and I don't love each other. And waiting for Kal, I could wait a hundred years. It makes sense to keep myself occupied."

Barda let her go. "Cool and clever. Now you're sounding more like you."

"Good—now can we get on with this please?"

"So what if –"

"Barda, now is not the time."

"Alright, fine. But we're not done discussing it."

"I wouldn't dare to hope we were," Alexa muttered.

When they got to Poison Ivy's cell, it was obvious they weren't the first there recently. The fences and bars around it had been broken not too long ago. The locks had been either cut through with bolt-cutters (the edges were clean, sharp, no sign of rusting) or a blowtorch had been taken to them. They had to step over the door to get inside. The cell was large, thirty feet wide with a glass ceiling. It looked like a ruined arboretum, shrivelled trees and plants hugging the walls or littering the floor. All of them were dried, brown, and clearly dead. There was also one body. Alexa kicked him over.

"Male, mid-twenties. Judging by the blood around his various facial orifices, I'd say he was poisoned." She bent down to look at his eyes; they were dull and filmed over, but his pupils were wide and fixed. "Dilated. That's pharmacological."

"From plant life, right?" Barda asked.

"Right."

Alexa stood again, eyes roving around for any sign of movement from anything around them. There was nothing. She looked back again at the man. "Rigor is completely established, and decomposition is beginning. I'd say he's been dead about a week. Maybe a few days more."

"Look at this," Barda said. She was nudging a withered flower head with her foot, that had sharp, pointed stamens with a pair of tweezers, putting it into her belt for analysis later.

"And then there's that," Barda said.

It was easy to see what she meant—at the far end of the cell was what could only be described as a throne. It was one huge plant that reminded Alexa of a rose, petals unfurled. Except there was nothing in the centre of it. There had been, it looked like, but there was a stump that had been hacked away. The edge of what remained were dry wrinkled, with only the inside remaining wet. Alexa pulled a cotton bud out and took another sample.

"It was probably cut at the same time he died," Alexa surmised.

"But what killed him? And what did his friends take?" Barda asked.

Batwoman sighed. "No idea yet. In any case staying here doesn't get us any closer to finding Kal. Come on, let's go. We'll tell the GCPD where to find the body," she said, indicating the body.

Barda was frowning thoughtfully. "Poison Ivy's dead, isn't she?"

"She last appeared well over seventy years ago. If she's not –"

"Batcave to Batwoman."

"Go ahead."

"Michael called for you. Again."

"What d'you tell him?"

"That you had a cold and you were in bed. He's concerned about you. He's not the only one."

"Have you found anything else useful? Arkham was a bust."

"Nothing."

"Fine. On our way back now."

Barda clasped her shoulder comfortingly. "Chances are he's fine, you know. Anyone else I'd say was in trouble, but Kal's been dodging the odds for most of his life."

Alexa's answering smile was sad. "Thanks, Barda. But you and I both know that the fact he's cheated death before is just stacking the odds higher against him now. It's been three days. Soon it'll be a week."

"Lexie, you can't give up."

Surprised by the comment, Alexa frowned. "No one said anything about giving up, Barda. I – I'm just –"

"Terrified," Barda finished quietly.

"But I'll find him."

Barda squeezed her hand. "I know."

The next day, Alexa's cell phone rang. It was the sixth such time in 24 hours, and she knew it was Michael calling her. She knew she should pick up. He was worried about her. And maybe he didn't love her—but he still cared for her. Still biting her lip, she reached for the phone and answered it. She didn't need to sound hoarse, or exhausted.

"Hello, Michael."

"Alexa." His voice was warm, relieved. It still wasn't the voice she wanted to hear. "Are you alright? I've been trying to reach you –"

"I know. I'm really sorry. I've been pretty out of it for a few days. Still feel like crap, actually."

"You don't sound well," he remarked. "Wish I was with you."

"You're busy," she murmured, thanking the gods that he was. She couldn't focus on two things at once right now, much less two lives.

"I'm going to try and come see you tomorrow. I miss you."

"Miss you too. How are you?"

"I am absolutely sick of hotel room service food and giving speeches to people who don't seem to care," he groused.

She smirked. "I can imagine."

There were voices on Michael's end, and then he said, "Sorry, Alexa, I've got to go. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know if I can make it to Gotham. Rest up and take care of yourself, okay?"

"I will. Talk to you tomorrow."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Two days later, Michael finally made it to Gotham. Alexa didn't waste any time; up until the last moment she was still in the cave. She was now in the shower, hurriedly trying to make herself look at all presentable. She had no time to dry her hair before she went downstairs to see him. Nor did she have any time for makeup, so her dark-circled eyes were on show for all the world to see.

Michael looked happy to see her, and greeted her with a kiss and a hug. When he pulled back, it was to hold her face between his hands with a worried frown. "You look awful."

She managed a laugh. "Thanks. You look old, by the way."

"Sorry. Didn't mean it like that."

"No, I know. Do you want some coffee?"

"Love some."

Alexa was very glad when he didn't ask for a cappuccino. Michael liked his coffee strong and black. She had hers the same, needing the caffeine right now, and they sipped quietly. They talking about the campaign, about Alexa's 'illness' and the events of the world, and every moment was like having her fingernails slowly pulled out. Finally, Michael said something that caught her interest.

"I guess you've heard about Superman?"

Wordlessly, she nodded.

"He's been gone five days now. You know what the media are saying."

She had purposefully avoided the media, and physically turned away from the subject now, walking over to the dishwasher and putting their cups in it. "I can imagine."

Michael walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Alexa had to grit her teeth against the sob that suddenly forced itself way into her throat. Oblivious, Michael said, "They're all forgetting we've been through this before," Michael commented, his tone still too light. "With Superman. Whole world thought he was dead at one point."

"I know, I – read about it. Do you really think that's what's happened this time? That he's – he's okay somewhere?"

"I don't see any reason to doubt it."

She nodded and let her breath go in a long, quiet exhale. They were silent for a moment, and then Michael said, "I'm sorry I can't stay longer."

"That's okay. Hopefully it won't be long before I'm back with you."

"I was thinking …"

"You were thinking?" she asked absently.

"Perhaps we should get married straight away."

Startled, Alexa looked up from her worrying. "What?"

"What do you think?"

"Of marrying immediately? I don't know, Michael—the proposal was soon enough, but having the wedding now? Wouldn't that look impulsive?"

"No. It would seem as if we knew the full value of life. Carpe Diem, and all that."

"This is about Superman, isn't it?" she realised, appalled. "His disappearance—it's drawing attention from your campaign and you want something big and sensational to bring the attention back to you." She pushed away from him. "Michael, no! That's disgusting!"

"Why is it?" he asked. "It's just politics, Alexa."

Feeling tears rise to her eyes, she turned away from her fiancé. "Then I need to think about politics. And my involvement in them."

"Alexa, you knew –"

"Apparently I didn't!" she snapped. When silence erupted, she shook her head and turned away, leaving the kitchen. "I think you should leave. Just – Just give me a few days, Michael. Don't call me."

It was around seven days when J'onn succeeded in finding Kal. For Alexa, it was like a week of fervent prayer had finally paid off and the gods had delivered Kal back to her. Although, they had dropped him off in the middle of nowhere; the centre of that same Atlantic Ocean he had been heading to in the first place.

On hearing the news, there were so many feelings running through Alexa all at once that she couldn't name all of them. But joy was above all of them. Batwoman did not smile, ever, but the insides of her cheeks hurt from the attempts to stop a huge grin from spreading across her face.

When she got to the Metrotower, he was still in the midst of the various tests that were naturally being run. They included CT scans, ultrasounds and an MRI, as well as an ECG and a less dramatic psychological evaluation than the last one. Clustered outside the tiny medical room were most of the council members—Barda, J'onn, Scott, GL and Warkhawk were all there, all looking through the glass observation window. Alexa had no idea what they looked like, whether relieved or suspicious—her eyes and attention were locked on Kal.

And that was where it started to go wrong.

Because despite the fact that there was a two-way mirror, he should have looked up. He should have known she was there. She did not expect a smile, did not expect a wave or a nod even. Just eye contact would have been enough. Just a look. She didn't get that. She didn't get anything. And he was chatting and smiling with the medics, but there was something wrong with that smile. It was too wide, too white, too modern. It wasn't the old-fashioned, charming grin she knew so well, that made her heart beat faster. But maybe that was because it hadn't been directed at her.

She edged closer to J'onn. "All well?"

He nodded. "It seems to be. Normal thought patterns, and he seems himself. More alert than he was when he came in."

As if to verify that, the doctor came outside, smiling widely. "How is he?" Alexa asked immediately. "Is he … him?"

"I would say so, at least as far as the tests can tell. And you'd all know better then me. He's no memory of anything though. Nothing in the last seven days."

"Nothing at all?" Barda asked. "So he has no idea who took him, where he's been …?"

"Apparently not."

J'onn. Can you confirm that?

He looked surprised, but his eyes glowed briefly orange. He does not remember anything, from a cursory examination.

But you don't know for sure.

I would have to go deeper.

Well, that wasn't happening. If it was something really bad, it would be obvious, she reasoned. Thank you, J'onn.

Everyone went inside to welcome Kal back—Alexa would have held back anyway, out of discretion, knowing that if she didn't hold back then she would have thrown herself into his arms. But now, she was at the back of the group because there was a niggling in the depths of her mind that something here was not quite … right. There were smiles, handshakes, and a couple of hugs from everyone.

But after he'd greeted the others, he said, "But where's Batwoman?"

"I'm here."

He looked up then, and there was that smile again. The old shiver ran up her back. Cold though. Such a cold, cold shiver. Telling herself it was entirely her imagination, she smiled back. "Kal. Are you alright?"

"Fine. You?"

She nodded. "Fine."

Barda sent her a look that clearly read, What are you doing, you crazy woman? but Alexa ignored it. For some reason, she had no fear about what he might think of a such a cool greeting.

"Did you miss me?" Kal asked with a grin.

Flirting? He was flirting with her in front of other people? "We all did," she responded casually. "It's good to have you back."

She left as soon as she could, politely. She wanted to be elsewhere, until she could pinpoint what was making her so uneasy. But Kal followed her. The sense of unease increased. So markedly, so pointedly singling her out. So … not Kal. She heard the noise of him blurring to her side. That smile.

"Do you have to rush off?" he asked pleasantly.

She searched his gaze briefly. The same blue it had always been. No hostility, no deception. But still. She wished they weren't alone. "Yeah," she said. "Sorry. Gotham calls."

"I thought Gotham didn't call anymore."

"There's some arms smuggling going down tonight at the docks. The police should be able to handle it, but I want to be there just in case."

"Want some company?" he asked immediately.

"Thanks, but I think it'll be fine. Plus have the docs cleared you for active duty yet? And you've been gone an entire week, Kal, with no idea where you've been or why. I would have thought you would be focusing on filling in those blanks."

"Of course I want to find out what happened—but I don't know anyone better at tracking down clues than you."

"Believe me, Kal, I tried to find every clue I could. J'onn found you, I didn't. That should probably tell you something."

"I'm sure we could find more if we worked together."

"We will," she replied. "But like I said; Gotham needs me tonight. I'll come see you when I can. I – I really am glad you're back."

"Me too. I missed you."

Then he kissed her. It was short, almost so quick she wasn't sure he'd done it, and then he was gone, and there was a strange taste on her lips and she felt light-headed. She frowned, touching her mouth. "I miss you too."

She hadn't lied about the arms smuggling. It was happening, but she was absolutely confident that the GCPD could handle it. And she had been planning on going there. Now she wasn't. Now she was going straight to the Batcave and investigating just where this bad feeling was coming from. She went over everything—the exact position Kal had been picked up, the tests they had run on him. MRI had shown brain function to be relatively normal, Ultrasound that there were no internal foreign bodies, CT likewise. His heart rate had been slightly elevated, but that was easily explainable. And J'onn had been certain that on the surface at least, Kal's thoughts were as they should be. But he had admitted that it would take a more in-depth exploration of his mind to be 100% sure. And then there had been that kiss …

She was certain that unless something drastic had happened, Kal would not have kissed her. In fact he would have gone out of his way not to show any preferential treatment to her. And unless Alexa underestimated how much she'd wanted him to kiss her, she didn't think she'd get dizzy from something that quick. If he'd kissed her passionately, deeply, kissed her in a way she felt from her head to her toes—that was one thing. And she finally knew what had been wrong with his smile. It spoke of welcome but no pleasure. It was a step onto my web, little fly smile.

"Barda to Batwoman."

"I'm here."

"What the hell was that?" Barda demanded, no preamble.

Alexa grimaced. "What the hell was what?" she asked, trying to sound innocent.

"Don't give me that, Alexa. You don't sleep for a week, you don't eat you're so focused on finding him, you practically tell me you're in love with him, and then you can't be in the same room as him for five minutes?"

How did she put this? She wasn't even sure what she suspected … "Barda –"

"Did you get cold feet? Were you thinking about Michael? I know you're conflicted, Alexa, but I wouldn't be surprised if Kal's convinced you don't feel anything for him –"

"Barda, it's not him."

" – because there was nothing – What?"

"I don't think that's Kal."

A pause. "But we ran tests. After what happened with Starro, no one took any chances. We tested everything we could."

"Exactly," Alexa muttered.

"You lost me."

"Everything we could. What about what we couldn't?"

"Well what can't we test?"

"His blood. You'd have to fashion a needle out of kryptonite to get it through his skin, and even then you couldn't risk using it in case a piece of it snapped off and gave him blood poisoning."

"Yeah, I see how that would be problematic …"

"But you still don't follow me, do you?"

"Not in the slightest. Alexa, he's back. I thought this was what you wanted?"

"It is. But something's wrong, Barda, and I can't explain how I know, or what it is. But that's not Kal. At least not the Kal I know. Can you understand that?"

The deep and lasting silence on the other end of the line indicated that Barda really couldn't.

A/N: Review please!