I tried.

Warning: swearing, like always.

Disclaimer: I do not own one piece.

4

The best thing about her are her boobs – probably.

"So I can call you mystery mom, then?" Luffy grinned and folded his arms looking straight at me.

I blushed and turned away quickly. It could be that I wasn't ready to meet him yet – but I had to meet him, this could be my one and only opportunity.

"You can call me whatever you like, my name is Mary Sue, though."

I knew I had to get my mind clear, but I couldn't. Luffy's smile was way too bright for my mind to process. Even when closing my eyes I still feel his radiance – that's how big his presence is. Garp would come soon – probably with an army – and I knew I couldn't go up against him and that many people. I am strong but not that strong. So I had to get things straight;

The most important thing being; finding out whether Luffy had trained properly. Was he strong? I knew he wasn't weak but none of the people on his ship where – there wasn't much to compare with.

I also had to know whether Luffy was really as stupid as I thought he was. Yes, my son is the most superior creature in the world but him being that dumb would be a great flaw in my, almost, perfect plan.

Getting on his crewmembers good side was an important part of this plan. Killing them followed some time later – but that isn't that important right now, it will be later though. I would turn on my bright side – giving them compliments. A task harder then it seemed to be. Complementing Luffy is one of the easiest things to do, complementing useless scum, however, is another story.

But I tried.

I would start with the slutty girl right across me.

"So you are Nami-chan, I presume?" I felt disgusted by myself – almost as disgusted as the slut looked when I talked to her.

"Nami is fine." Her eyes were thoroughly fixated on the golden necklace hanging from my neck. So she liked gold – maybe money in general?

I touched the necklace and smiled, "Do you like it? I got I from my first love, it's very precious."

What a lie. The necklace was one I took from a traveling merchant I beat up after he told me I was a hot chick – I was in one of my lesser moods. The necklace looked good with my outfit of the day so I choose to wear it, after washing it multiple times – you never know what kind of germs those disgusting animals carry with them.

She nodded berrie signs almost appearing in her eyes, "It looks expensive.."

I could see the drool leaving her mouth – what an uncluttered girl she was. She was way too easy to read. Just like Garp and almost anyone else when confronted with the things they desire. Even I find it very hard to stay calm when next to my lovely son.

"I have plenty more were this came from," I said.

This however wasn't a lie. I could count myself in the top ten richest persons in this world – counting out all the world nobles and other rich poof-paf I really don't care about. Stalking is an profession that requires a lot of money.

"Money from treasure?" Luffy spoke as he excitedly took my hand – I almost fainted. I decided to go with it. Luffy seemed to like the idea and I guessed it was better than telling him almost all the money I own is from pretty sketchy business.

"Yeah yeah, I own a lot of treasure." I laughed nervously – lying to your son is hard.

"Are you a pirate?"

"I'd rather call myself an adventurer."

"Okay, a mystery adventurer then."

Adorable.

The rest of the pathetic members of Luffy's crew gathered with suspicious looks on their face. I can't say I wasn't glad about them being at least a bit wary of strangers. If Luffy couldn't do it, his crew really had to do it for him. But I was there now, no need for them anymore.

The green haired bulky guy, I recognized him as Luffy's best man, tried to speak up but was interrupted immediately by a smoking guy in suit. They looked a bit strong. The guy in suit – I couldn't recognize him from any of the wanted posters – walked up to me and took my hand while whispering all kind of sweet talk. His pupils dilated while he went to his knees.

So Luffy has this kind of people on his crew too, huh?

He stared at me for a while longer until his nose erupted in a flow of blood and he collapsed. I tried my best not to kick him after he fell – he was the most annoying one until now.

Ero vision: Sanji's pov.

It was like my life hadn't made sense until now. Like my past had been an empty void of nothingness – the people I had met before meant nothing.

She is the mellorine of mellorines. The whole purpose of my life is serving her.

Imagine a woman so sweet and delicate, just like mellorine. Eyes like big bright gemstones portrayed with long and thick lashes. Her long dark wavy hair rimming her absolutely beautiful cheek bones. Her cherry colored lips in a small pout. She is everything but better.

And then the best thing;

HER HUGE TITS – I mean breasts. I can't even compare them to those of my lovely Nami-swan~ - which are some perfect pair I must say.

Just look at her body – XXXXXXXXXXXX (censored).

When you meet a woman like this you just know it's meant to – did I just see my mellorine Nami-swan~ smiling? – I don't remember what I tried to say but a woman like this deserves to be treated like the goddess she – Robin-scwan~ really looks Lovely today doesn't she? -

And then I was told this wasn't the pirate empress but Luffy mothers that I met. That shitty captains Mother – his god damn mother. How does a queen like that make something like that? How old was she? She looked like she was only a few years older than that rubber brain.

This fact didn't stop me from telling her all my thoughts about it, though.

Her boobs jiggled and I fainted – it was definitely worth it – I could make out a small "mellorine" before it happened.

ero-vision out/

"What a nice crew you have." I faked a smile, but they seemed to fall for it – idiots. I tried to ignore the blood on my new bought - stolen - shoes.

And then, Luffy introduced me to the other woman in his crew. Some old woman trying to take my place as his mother. Nobody takes the place of Mary sue the 17th.

NOBODY.

A short chapter because I can't sleep and I felt like writing. I will continue the pregnancy in the next chapter – that will come out 2/3 days from now (maybe even earlier) And after that a longer chapter with the rest of the strawhats meeting her. The rest I can't tell.

Thanks for reading and please review, favorite and follow ~

Oh Btw, I found this as an definition for Luffy on Urban dictionary – couldn't help to find it funny because of my immature sense of humor:

luffy

sex in an airplane latrine

Arthur just had luffy!

thanks for reading! :-)