Chapter Six

Rowen bolted out of the guest bedroom and sprinted upstairs. Ysolda saw the frantic look in Rowen's eye, "What's wrong? Bandits?" Rowen shook her head and began pulling on her boots, "No, it's Serana. She's gone." Ysolda relaxed, "She probably just went on a walk, Rowen."

Rowen grabbed her bow and quiver, "Her bed is completely empty, Ysolda. She hasn't been here all night." Rowen could see Ysolda's shadow shrug in the firelight, "She's a…she's a vampire…maybe she went out to eat?" Rowen was bounding down the stairs, "She wouldn't leave without telling me first!"

Ysolda wrapped a bed sheet around her body and ran down the stairs after Rowen, "When are you going to be back? It's almost a new day…"

Rowen stopped at the manor doorstep, "I'll be back when I find Serana, but not until then."

Rowen's head began to spin as she stepped out into Skyrim. Which way could she have gone? Falkreath was the closest town and the most likely place Serana would stop to pick up supplies. Rowen sprinted to the stable and noted that all of the horses were still in their stalls for the night. She's on foot. Rowen quickly mounted her horse and took off at a galloping speed towards Falkreath.

The sun was beginning to rise over the mountains of Skyrim, but Rowen was focused on the ground. Recent tracks were apparent in the brush just off the main road to Falkreath. Rowen cursed Serana for choosing a shorter route through the wilderness over the safety of a longer, more indirect road. Rowen followed the tracks until the sun was finally shining high in the sky. The tracks seemed to stop suddenly in the middle of the woods. Rowen circled her horse through the area in an attempt to pick the trail back up, but found nothing. Rowen brought the horse back to the area where the tracks ended and dismounted. She clasped her head in both of her hands, trying desperately to stop the pounding. "Damn you, Serana," Rowen muttered as she slapped the saddle with the heel of her hand in frustration.

"To Oblivion with you too, then!" It was a shout from the woods that seemed to echo around Rowen. Rowen spun around, looking in all directions and desperately should out, "Serana!" A small branch dropped at Rowen's feet and she looked up, shading her eyes from the sunlight. Serana was perched at the top of a very large pine tree, looking directly down at Rowen.

Rowen squinted, "You left! Without so much as a note that you were taking off! You…you…"

"I'd choose your next words wisely, because I feel that I have a pretty good spitting angle from up here," Serana remarked coarsely.

Rowen pursed her lips together, "So, you just left at night to go climb trees?"

Serana tossed a pinecone down at Rowen, "No, I left you last night because you're a selfish horker."

Rowen batted the pinecone away, "Just get out of the damned tree already!"

Serana began climbing down the tree slowly, "If you really must know, I started climbing this tree when I heard a horse galloping through the woods like a madman was riding it."

Serana hung loosely from the lowest branch and dropped gracefully in front of Rowen.

Rowen wasn't impressed in the slightest, "You took off in the middle of the night without letting anyone know where you were going, or when you intended to be back."

Serana leaned back into the shade of the tree, "I'm not your wife, and so you really have no business knowing where I go or how long I intend to be gone."

Rowen's mouth opened and closed silently. She pointed at the ground, "I am your partner, and you agreed to go hunting with me. I deserve to know when my hunting partner takes off without me."

Serana turned her back to Rowen and headed in the direction of Falkreath, "Our hunting adventure was over long before we took the carriage out of Whiterun."

"Is that what this is about?" Rowen grasped the reigns of the horse and directed it behind her as she followed in Serana's footsteps. "Is this about what happened in Whiterun?"

"No, this is about you being a deceitful, selfish horker," Serana continued, "I have already explained that to you."

Rowen quickened her pace, "Well, a minute ago I was just a selfish horker, but now I am a deceitful one too." Serana kept walking forward without acknowledging Rowen's remark.

Rowen reached out and grabbed Serana's wrist just in time to receive a powerful slap to the side of her face. Rowen's head pounded as her cheek throbbed angrily. Serana's eyes burned into Rowen. "Don't you dare touch me again," she spat. Rowen stopped with her hand still at her cheek and stared as Serana kept walking away from her.

Chapter Seven

"Not like this." Those were the last words that Rowen spoke to Serana as she left the hot spring. Rowen and Serana had redressed in silence and then continued their journey through the wilderness. When they finally arrived in Dawnstar, they were almost too exhausted to even eat. The Inn Keeper had not asked about their bedding situation, and so the two were only halfway surprised when they discovered that their room consisted of only one double bed.

Serana stared at the bed and started snickering. Rowen turned to Serana with a look of confusion. With one look at Rowen's face, Serana began cackling. Rowen's face cracked into a smile at the look of her deliriously tired companion, and then she too found herself laughing. The two laughed until Serana bent forward and pleaded, "Stop! My sides hurt!" Rowen covered her mouth with her hand, but tears started welling up in her eyes as she tried to suppress her laughter.

Serana took a deep breath and steadied herself, "Alright, can we just admit that we are both very, very tired?" Rowen nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed. Serana flopped onto the other half of the bed, "And, can we just admit that we both want a warm bed and some sleep?" Rowen fell backwards onto the bed and shut her eyes, "I'm just fine with all of that."

Rowen had no idea how long she had been asleep. When she opened her eyes, she saw Serana fast asleep on the pillow beside her. Rowen watched Serana as she breathed deeply, her black eyelashes fluttering softly as if she were in a deep dream. Rowen wondered if Serana could be dreaming of her. Before long, Rowen was once again fast asleep.

Serana woke to her stomach growling and her mouth dry from thirst. Rowen was still passed out with one arm draped over Serana's body. Serana lifted Rowen's arm and attempted to get out of the bed, but Rowen groaned and pulled Serana closer. Serana tapped Rowen's arm, "Get up! It's Serana!" Rowen sighed with her eyes still closed, "I know…let's just stay in bed." Serana escaped Rowen's grasp and rolled out of bed, "We have been asleep for a long time! I'm so hungry that I could eat a mammoth!" Rowen finally opened her eyes and looked up at Serana, "I found you in a crypt…I'm pretty sure you've gone a lot longer without food." Serana pulled the covers off of Rowen, "Well, now, I don't have to go that long without eating, and you shouldn't either." Rowen rubbed her eyes and stretched. Serana stood at the side of the bed and nudged Rowen with her foot, "Please, wake up." Rowen grabbed Serana's leg and pulled her back into the bed. Serana smiled as she felt Rowen curl in behind her. Rowen pressed herself closer until she was sharing Serana's pillow. Serana smiled as she felt Rowen slyly press her face into her loose hair. Rowen breathed in Serana and never wanted the moment to end.

Serana paused and turned to Rowen, "You know, we can stay like this." Serana grasped Rowen's hand. Rowen felt Serana's fingers pass softly over the metal of her wedding band.

Rowen closed her eyes and sighed. Serana's voice was barely above a whisper, "That's why you won't." Rowen met Serana's gaze, "I will, and I am going to…I'm just not sure how I am going to do it."

"You love her too much to hurt her," Serana's words broke in the air. Rowen interlaced her fingers with Serana's, "I do care about her, and I don't want to hurt her." Serana swallowed and turned away from Rowen, suddenly feeling very foolish again. Rowen placed one hand gently on Serana's cheek, their other hands still interlaced. Rowen waited until Serana met her gaze once more, "I love you. You know that I love you. I tried my hardest not to hurt Ysolda, but I knew I was in trouble the day I pulled you out of that crypt."

Serana thought back on the day that Rowen pulled her out of her tomb. It was the start of their adventures together, and they had barely spent a night apart since then. But, if Rowen had feelings for her the day she pulled her from the tomb, she sure was excellent at hiding them. At first, Rowen had terrified Serana. She was a nimble Bosmer, but her dark eyes seemed to pierce through Serana. Her face was a mystery behind splashes of blood that seemed to almost be outlined by the huge claw-like scars that spanned the length of her face. The tight braid that held her dark hair in place only seemed to intensify her look.

But, now, Rowen's looks no longer terrified her. They actually had quite the opposite effect on her now. Serana lifted her hand to Rowen's face and lightly let her fingers trace the claw marks over Rowen's lips. Rowen clasped Serana's hand and lightly kissed her fingertips and whispered, "I'll be yours', if you'll have me." Rowen laughed then, "I am already yours', even if you will not have me."

"I find it hard to believe that anyone could truly have you," Serana countered, "But, I will certainly try."

"I think you're a little smarter than that," Rowen smiled, "I think you know full well that you have me eating out of your hands." Rowen bit at Serana's palms playfully to demonstrate. Serana smiled to herself and knew that she spoke the truth.

Rowen looked very serious when she met Serana's gaze again. "I've never wanted anything so much in my life, like I want you," Rowen continued, "But, I won't do wrong by you. I have to end things with Ysolda before…"

"I think there's a very thin line there, Rowen, between what we are doing already and what we haven't done," Serana interjected.

Chapter Eight

Rowen remained several paces behind Serana as they continued on their way to Falkreath.

"What would you have me do? Barge into the Homestead on the day of her wedding anniversary and throw her out?" Rowen shouted at Serana's back. Serana kept walking without acknowledging Rowen.

Rowen continued to shout at Serana's back, "Was I supposed to just come in that night and tell her it is over? That I fell in love with another woman while I was out supposedly being the 'hero' that she wanted me to be? And, what was I supposed to do if you decided that you weren't really sure of your feelings, after all?" Rowen shook at the horse's reigns, "You were the first real friend that I had that wasn't a horse or a sociopath in a jester's outfit!"

Serana muttered something inaudible to Rowen. Rowen quickened her pace and continued to yell, "See! There you go again! When you do actually say something to me, you just mumble it to yourself!"

Serana turned a cold gaze to Rowen, "I said, 'At least you two have something in common.'" She then turned back away from Rowen and continued walking.

Rowen looked up the reigns of her horse in confusion. Shadowmere stared ahead, unfazed by the shouting. "You know, you can stop likening me to an animal at any time."

Serana turned again, "I wasn't comparing you to Shadowmere. I was comparing you to Cicero. He too is a sociopath, so you have that in common."

Rowen balked at these words and stopped in her path, but Shadowmere's reigns quickly pulled her back into motion. Rowen stared up incredulously at Shadowmere as he pulled her along.

Rowen started closing in the space between herself and Serana, once again leading Shadowmere through the woods and not the other way around. "Speaking of sociopaths, if I get too close are you going to slap me back down again?"

Serana did not answer. "I will take your silence as an affirmative response, and so I will keep my distance. However, I would like to inform you that our horse-friend is very upset, and he isn't acting quite like himself. " Shadowmere stopped abruptly as Serana came to a halt in front of them. Serana turned and looked up at the demon horse. Shadowmere stood unmoving with his eyes focused straight head and his nostrils flaring. Rowen looked from Serana to Shadowmere, "Don't let him fool you, he's absolutely devastated that we are fighting right now." Shadowmere flicked his tail, seemingly bored. Serana turned her head to the side and tried to suppress a smile.

Chapter Nine

Rowen and Serana were preparing to make their leave from the city of Dawnstar when Rowen spotted Shadowmere galloping towards them in the distance. Rowen narrowed her eyes at the stallion, "I'll be damned, he finally showed up to take us home." Rowen shook her bow at the approaching horse and yelled, "No! We don't need you now! We needed you days ago when you were off stomping mud crabs and abandoning us at a Dwarven ruin!" Shadowmere slowed and stood unwavering in front of the Dovahkin. Rowen grabbed a coin purse from her pocket and held it in the air, "Do you see this? This is the money that I made since you abandoned me, and the first thing I am going to do with it is buy a new horse!" Shadowmere blew air through his nostrils and reared his head up and down. Serana approached the side of Shadowmere and ran her fingers through his long mane. "He is such a handsome horse though," she cooed to him.

"Don't let him fool you, he understands every word coming out of my mouth," Rowen pointed at Shadowmere, "I mean it, you need to get your head out of your ass, or you can just leave to go fight mud crabs by yourself for the rest of eternity." Shadowmere nibbled the cuff of Rowen's glove. Serana laughed and patted the side of Shadowmere.

Rowen held Shadowmere's reigns as Serana climbed on to his back. "At least he was a free horse," Rowen grumbled.

"The Dark Brotherhood just gave him to you?" Serana gaped.

"I know, it's really hard to believe that someone was so ready to get rid of this majestic stallion that she pawned him off on me as foreplay to murdering me," Rowen mused, reflecting back on darker times.

Rowen glanced up at Serana's expectant gaze, "You know, I probably shouldn't be telling you any of this."

"You probably shouldn't have told me a lot of things," Serana shrugged. Rowen wondered if this conversation was still about the Brotherhood, but continued, "A woman named Astrid was leader of the Brotherhood at that point in time, she gave me Shadowmere after she ordered me to kill Cicero."

Serana was silent for a while, but finally asked, "Were you with Ysolda before you joined the Dark Brotherhood?"

Back to that again. "Yes, I was with Ysolda long before I joined the Brotherhood." Serana remained quiet, but her eyes were locked on Rowen. Rowen looked down, suddenly appearing very focused on her boots, "I met and married Ysolda not long after I learned that I was Dragonborn." Rowen picked up a rock from the ground and tossed it, "Killing a godlike lizard seemed like a task that was going to take me awhile, so I decided to take the rare opportunity to marry a shopkeeper's daughter."

Serana seemed to be in thought, "That is all well and good, but how did you get mixed up with the likes of the Dark Brotherhood?"

Rowen shrugged, "I was poor and a pickpocket for the longest time. I started running jobs for the Guild, until I robbed Belethor one day." Rowen smiled and shook her head, "The sharp old bastard figured me out, so he paid the Brotherhood to assassinate me."

Serana looked astonished, "You two are so close though!"

"Now, we are close, but these were different times," Rowen waived a hand dismissively. "Anyway, shortly after I robbed Belethor, I was attacked by an assassin. This assassin had a note with directions from the Brotherhood to kill me. So, I decided I would get to them before they could get to me.

I found myself researching the rumors surrounding this mysterious group. Somehow, my research lead me to an orphan's home, who was performing 'the Black Sacrament' in hopes of summoning a member of the Brotherhood."

Rowen gazed up to Serana, "The Black Sacrament is a heap of troll dung, by the way."

Serana's face was unreadable, so Rowen continued to break the silence, "This childwanted me to kill an evil old woman who owned an orphanage in Riverwood. To investigate this bizarre request, I rode to Riverwood to find this woman."

"And, she was as awful as the boy described?" Serana asked.

Rowen nodded, "She was exactly what the boy described."

"You killed her?"

"I killed her," Rowen added flatly. "Then, I met Astrid…"

"How could you murder people without it bothering you?"

"I didn't ask questions. I just did the assignments as Astrid asked."

Serana looked stern on Shadowmere's back, "You were running around killing people because some woman asked you to do it?"

Rowen frowned, "You do realize that we are still talking about the woman that tried to murder me, right?"

"I don't know your history with this woman," Serana added flippantly.

"She was paying me well for each assassination…in gold, not sexual favors," Rowen steamed.

"But, you did as she asked and without question."

"Look, when I am going to assassinate someone for money, I don't usually sit down with a pint of mead to contemplate their life stories," Rowen frowned, "Besides, it wasn't like I acted completely without question—Cisero is still alive, isn't he?"

"I don't know, I haven't met him," Serana looked crossly out into the horizon.

"It's going to stay that way too," Rowen shook her head, realizing that it was completely her doing that a crazed, murderous jester still stalked the shadows of Skyrim.

"He followed you for months, you must have had some amount of trust in him."

Rowen squinted up at Serana, "I trusted him enough not to put a knife to my neck while I was asleep, which was more than I could say for Astrid."

"Did he not stay in your house? Did he not meet Ysolda?"

Rowen guffawed, "Take Cicero to my home? You must to be out of your mind!"

Serana looked nonplussed as she patted the side of Shadowmere's neck.

"Serana, my wife has no idea that I am even in the Brotherhood. And, Cicero isn't exactly subtle about his lust for murder."

"Your closest friends are a horse and a murdering jester, you have killed people for hire, you are the Queen of Thieves, and a vampire," Serana continued, "At home, you live the life of a heroine, a loving wife, and a savior."

Rowen grimaced at Serana's assessment of her past, "Well, she knows I am a vampire. And, in my defense, I wouldn't call Shadowmere a friend…I don't even like that horse."

Serana finally laughed, but turned away from Rowen.

"And, I did save Skyrim from the World Eater," Rowen added, "Eventually."

Chapter Ten

"Are we going to do this all of the way to Falkreath, or can we continue this fight at home?" Rowen pleaded.

"That is not my home," Serana said softly.

"Then, where do we live now? Pick a place and let's go there together," Rowen countered in all sincerity.

"And, what about Ysolda?" Serana asked.

"What about Ysolda? We have been on the road together for almost seven months! And, in that time, we've been to Lakeview…three times?"

Serana stared ahead in silence.

"I've spent more nights on the road with you than I have spent in my wife's bed for all of my marriage! I have spent more nights with you than I have with anyone in my life. My home is with you."

"I don't know if that is entirely true. You sounded all too at home last night," Serana's words seemed to slice through the air.

She heard me. "Say the word then. Tell me that night in the woods outside of Dawnstar was real, because, lately, I have been wondering if I didn't just dream it all up. Just tell me…"

"Tell you what?" Serana hissed. "What is it that you need me to spell out for you so that you know that I am serious?"

Rowen's eyes fell to the ground.

"I love you, I really do. I think that must be hard for you to believe…that I really see you and love you, but that's the way that it is," Serana continued, "You don't seem to have much reason to trust those around you, but I am asking you to trust me. I'm not secretly plotting against you. If I didn't love you, I would have told you to go face first up a skeever's backside seven months ago!"

Rowen laughed and forced back tears.

"But, I won't lead this dual life with you. I'm not going off to Lakeview with you every couple of months so that I can pretend to be the right-hand companion of the 'heroic Dovahkin' in front of your wife. You can lock up your secret armor, weapons, and coffins in your basement, but I won't be the part of your life that you lock away and pretend doesn't exist," Serana fumed.

"That's not what I wanted," Rowen added, "You have always been the one part of my life that is real to me."

"Then, it is time to start acting like it," Serana's eyes rested on Rowen. .