Warm as the sun,

You were the one who outshone me,

In the darkness everyone went away,

You were the one who adored me,

And it's so hard to say goodbye to you,

So hard when I want to carry you everywhere,

Everywhere, so I don't forget,

I'll carry you everywhere,

Everywhere, so I don't forget.

But there's a blackbird singing,

How long have you been hiding?

Blackbird—Rumer

Chapter Twenty Four

The dual sensation of being watched and hearing thunder woke Alexa. She hadn't been aware of falling asleep after their lovemaking, but her eyelids felt heavy now as she pushed them open. "Sorry."

"No need to apologise," Kal whispered, gathering her against him. "Go back to sleep."

"Can't now," she smiled. "I know I'm being watched."

"Ah, so your bat-essence is tingling."

She nodded. "Wouldn't be if you went to sleep as well."

"Can't," he echoed. "Not sleepy."

"You never are." Another crash of thunder, and she lifted her head to look out of the window. "Is it raining?"

"Just started."

She got out of bed and left the bedroom, wrapping herself in a robe as she did so. She saw Kal give her a curious look and follow as she crossed to the balcony and pushed back the doors. "I like thunderstorms," she said in explanation. "On Themyscira, we had such grand thunderstorms, sometimes it was like Zeus himself was putting on a show for us."

"I can imagine," Kal replied, smiling at her. After a moment of watching her, he stretched and asked, "Would you like some coffee?"

She nodded absently, her attention still on the storm outside. Struck by a sudden urge to feel the rain against her skin, she undid the belt of her robe and let it fall, leaving her nude as she stepped out onto the balcony. The rain here was cold, not like on Themyscira, but the lightning was the same, and the thunder still thrilled her, and it still made her body tingle from head to toe. Within moments, she was dripping wet. She heard Kal leave the kitchen, the living room door opened and – then there was a strange, strangled sort of noise.

Frowning, she turned to see it was actually coming from her lover – he'd been eating something, but apparently the sight of her naked and wet in the view of the whole city had made him choke. Almost an impossibility in itself; she had never even entertained the thought that he might be able to. But maybe now wasn't the best time to be wondering, or laughing, even though the sight was mildly hilarious. She moved quickly behind him and delivered a blow to his back, hard as she could. Kal pitched forwards, but managed to stop himself from going through a wall, and the object lodged in his throat rocketed through the window, too fast for her to see it.

"Are you alright?"

Kal nodded, coughing a bit. "Thanks."

"What was that?"

"Cherry pit."

This time, she did dissolve into fits of laughter. "Just imagine it—the Man of Steel dispatched by a humble cherry pit," she laughed, popping one of the small fruits into her mouth. "It's an original method to achieve world domination, you have to admit that."

Still red-faced, Kal had to grin. "In my defence, you were naked where all of Metropolis could see you."

"It's three in the morning. I'm sure most of them are asleep."

"Well, don't blame me if that's on the news tomorrow."

"Would that bother you?" she asked seriously.

He picked up the still-dry robe and wrapped it around her before he replied. "I'm not that happy with all of America seeing you like that, if that's what you mean, but if you mean the relationship … I don't know. Are we ready for that?"

"Not yet," she said evenly. "And it would be unfair for the people we care about to find out via the press."

But even the people they cared about – friends, family, most obviously Bruce and Diana – would still have to wait, for tonight at least. Alexa would tell them soon, she would; she had to. She had never hidden anything from her mother before Kal had appeared, and now she'd been keeping a secret for what seemed like months. Well, it had been months. The delicious secret was beginning to tickle the edges of her mind, making her feel guilty at the oddest of times.

Alexa watched the rest of the storm without going back outside. She might have liked to fly in it – and maybe the two of them would, one day – but watching it from Kal's arms, with a cup of hot Arabian coffee in her hand didn't seem like a bad alternative. It was only as she went to get dressed that she realised there was a problem. Not good. Oh this was not good at all. This was the second sartorial disaster to befall Alexa in less than twenty-four hours. Less than two. She held up the tattered cloth, grimacing. "I take it you didn't approve of the dress?" she asked, wandering into the bathroom.

Kal was in the shower, and frowning at her now. "Why would you think that?"

In answer, she held up the gold sparkly dress. It was in two distinct pieces. "There are Swarovski crystals all over your living room floor."

"You can't tell me that wasn't the point of that dress, Alexa," he replied, a mischievous glint in his blue eyes.

"Hmm, I suppose it was..."

"But I did like the dress."

"Yeah? How much?" she asked, stepping into the shower herself. "Care to show me?"

The hot water running over her skin was a delicious contrast to the cool tiles, but Kal was warmer still as he touched her. Alexa was more than ready to burn with him, her lips meeting his passionately. Goddess, would she never get enough of the taste of him? Or the feel of his hands sliding up her back as they pressed her closer. Or the exquisite fullness when he sheathed himself inside her. Their earlier lovemaking had been more rushed, full of the urgent giddiness that champagne and it being her birthday had brought. This was tender, slow, and full of each other and nothing else. Alexa's climax came in waves—hardly gentle, but just as inevitable and cleansing as the sea.

She stayed all night, and put a call in to her assistant in the morning to drop off some clothes. Amelia had been long-used to the eccentric manners of both Alexa and Thomas, and she rarely assumed anything, and never asked questions. She also gave Alexa some car keys.

"The Audi is parked on the street outside."

"Thanks, Amelia. What would I do without you?"

Amelia gave her professional smile and left without coming in to the apartment and without expressing any curiosity about its owner. So what if her employer was in a new relationship? It certainly wasn't worth her job to gossip about it.

Once she had gone, Kal came out of the bedroom, where he'd been dressing. "Will you stay for breakfast?"

She nodded, feeling ravenous. Once she was dressed, they ate together: nothing beyond toast and a glass of orange juice, but honestly Alexa couldn't remember ever sharing this meal with anyone but her family. Much less someone she'd spent the night with. It was very domestic – but it felt right. It had promise for the future.

After breakfast, she sat on the couch, leaning forward to tie the laces of her sneakers when something caught her eye. A photograph, lying underneath the holo-TV stand. It would have gone overlooked unless someone was at her angle or if Kal had actually used x-ray vision to spot it.

Finishing with her sneakers, she made her way to pick it up. Unfortunately, he got there first; there was a breeze which blew her hair back briefly, and the object was in his hand. "What is that?"

He snatched the photo up with a light smile and a tight shrug. "Nothing. I should put this away. Don't want to clutter up the apartment."

"Kal?"

"It's just an old photograph."

"Oh. Of what?"

She felt nothing but innocent curiosity; but it was replaced by suspicion quickly. His entire demeanour was that of someone hiding something – his shoulders were rounded, his head down, and he looked incredibly awkward.

"Nothing, doesn't matter," he said.

It clearly did matter though. And Alexa had a sinking feeling she knew exactly why. "It's of Lois, isn't it?"

"It's not important."

She watched in silence as he put it into a drawer in the kitchen, only then standing and steeling herself for what was going to be an unpleasant confrontation. But one that needed to be attempted.

"Which of us are you hiding the other from?"

"What?"

"Either you're hiding her from me, out of misplaced guilt or uncertainty over whether I'm really as content with it as I make out – or you're hiding me, and all I represent, from the memory of her. Either way, Kal, that's guilt you've got no reason for carrying."

"Alexa …"

"Is it that you don't want me here?"

He turned, blue eyes wide. "Of course not!"

"Then you need to stop it, before it becomes a pattern. You need to cut it out now."

"I can't just –"

"It never bothered me before we were together, why would it bother me now?"

"We weren't together before!"

"And? Kal, if we're going to do this, if we're going to last, then you have to stop thinking you'll upset me every time Lois is mentioned. I know I'm not your first love, and that doesn't matter to me."

"Well maybe it matters to me!" he snapped. "I can know that she'd want me to be happy, say it until I'm blue in the face, but forgive me if it takes time to stop feeling guilty!"

"No! If you're still feeling guilty then you obviously don't want to have this. I want to be with you, Kal, and I want Lois to be a part of my life as well as yours, but I cannot compete with a dead woman for your affections. And I won't."

With that, she took off, telling herself that it was for the best that he didn't follow her. All guardians of Gotham seemed to go through their own version of heartbreak at some point. That she was getting hers at the age of twenty-four meant she'd lasted longer than most of the various bats. Now she was free to spend the rest of her very long life as she wished, completely free. And alone. She was incredibly glad when Tommy wasn't at the manor. She had a lot of not crying to do. A lot of steeling herself for Thomas to come home full of the joys of spring. Of course, he had a girlfriend who was not emotionally two-timing him.

"Goddesses, that isn't fair," she rebuked herself. Kal wasn't her 'boyfriend', and what he was emotionally involved in was grief—or at least uncertainty over where his grief left him, and her too. Maybe she could have dealt with misplaced fear that she would react badly to Lois' photograph … but still more guilt? What could she say to that? What could she do with that?

Except say what she had said. And do what she had done.

She went down to the cave, and its cool shrine, and prayed. She asked the goddesses if she had done the right thing. She pleaded with Athena to let reason overrule her passions. She begged Aphrodite to help her in any way the goddess saw fit. They all remained silent, without even an emotional response. So she fell back on logic. And logic provided all the merciless answers the goddesses had been mute on. She had been right to break it off with Kal, if that was what she had done. He had been wrong—was still wrong—to think Lois had any stake in this. Her absence should have no bearing on them. If he could accept that she was nothing but joyful memories, then fine, but he clearly could not. When Alexa finally did cry, they were two bitterest tears at her defeat. Not at losing, but at losing the prize. It wasn't fair, at its core. Alexa, with all her strength, was powerless against a mere ghost. Kal had to win this battle for both of them. And she wasn't even sure he was fighting. Or even wanted to…

A/N: Review please!