CHAPTER 4: "But was he yours if he wanted me so bad?"
Anakin was raving.
He could feel it from the other side of the Temple.
The young man had gone to visit her again. Obi-Wan knew they were having difficulties in their secret marriage. Anakin was having an affair, after all.
An affair with him.
It has been weeks now, of their relationship changing from close friends to lovers; Anakin had been excited and growing more and more in love as the time passed by, and Padmé, poor little Padmé, noticed it.
Not the affair in question, of course. She didn´t know to what, or more actually to who, she was losing her husband to, she just knew there was a breach between them. Anakin went to visit her less and less every time, finding intricate and creative excuses to not spending the night on her bed, and in turn, making up interesting ones to spend the nights on his.
The only downside of the constant fights between the married couple, it was that Obi-Wan was left dealing with Anakin´s foul moods when the Senator and he got into another domestic. It took some heavy patience to deal with those damn humors of his. Anakin got vocal, babbling about something bothering him and growing more and more frustrated because he couldn´t actually complain about it freely with Obi-Wan, his so called lover and best-friend, since he wasn´t supposed to know about Padmé.
Anakin had decided to go to her this evening. He had lied to Obi-Wan about going through some strategies with Rex and disappeared from the Temple. Just to visit her. Obi-Wan knew that Anakin had gone with the intention to repair his broken relationship with the politician, and Obi-Wan was infuriated by the sole thought of it. He had worked so hard to destroy their stupid marriage and the last thing he needed was the chosen one running back to her arms looking for a reconciliation.
Padmé had been argumentative, she had been lashing out at Anakin for not spending enough time with her, even though they were mostly planet bound these days, (all thanks to Master Yoda who had set to help him by giving him free time to seduce Anakin, he could hardly do that while fighting a war after all). Obi-Wan had been charming, in contrast. He had been so perfect. So beautiful to the last detail. Smiled when he was required to. Talked softly. Ignore Anakin´s usual stupidity. Praise his efforts and let him be touched and kissed as the young Jedi pleased.
They haven´t had sex, though. That, Obi-Wan couldn´t permit. If he allowed Anakin to have him the way he most desired to, he would be reduce to nothing but a sex toy. Part of the thrill of seducing someone was fighting tooth and nail to get what one´s wanted, and if Anakin were to get him so easily he would be disinterested rather quickly. He couldn´t have that.
Padmé had already given herself to him. Obi-Wan knew that. Sometimes Anakin came back home stinking of sex. "At least, shower first", Obi-Wan thought every time he dare corrupt their rooms with the stale smelt of sweat, expensive perfume and lube. It was disgusting. But Obi-Wan understood that it was partially his fault. Anakin needed the release, and he knew that if he was the one giving into his desires, the young Jedi would probably seek Padmé´s body less, maybe stopping all together. But Obi-Wan was playing a bigger game here.
Anakin was already seeing the difference between his two lovers. Padmé was whiny and needy, demanding attention and time and care. She was expensive and tiring to keep. Obi-Wan, in the other hand, Obi-Wan was everything that Anakin needed him to be. He was plaint, almost submissive, giving attention instead of begging for it. It wouldn´t be long before the boy finally grew tired of the Senator of Naboo and the ultimate way to convince him to make a clear sure between them was for Obi-Wan to give himself to him for the first time. His body was his best card, and he intended to play it well.
After all, even though Anakin was deceiving them both with his cheating, (not really, since Obi-Wan was well aware of his marriage), the Jedi Knight wasn´t overly fond of lying and sneaking around behind their backs. Obi-Wan could see that the weight of his deceiving was bearing heavy on his conscience. That was good. That meant he was going to be making a decision soon.
Obi-Wan only had to push him to the right direction. Push him to his side.
But right now, Anakin was fuming. Even though, Obi-Wan was casually chatting with Master Plo Koon and Master Vos in the gardens, the Jedi Master could feel his ex-Padawan storming through the halls of the Temple like a dark cloud.
He was agitated. Again.
So another fight, then.
How charming.
"Oh, I swear to you, Quinlan, it was everything but entertaining."
Quinlan lifted an eyebrow and smirked, saying something about how Obi-Wan was rather boring and not taking enough time to appreciate the action of battle.
As if war was a matter of amusement.
"Obi-Wan!"
The masculine voice of Anakin resounded through the open space, making the three of them turn to look at the angry form of Knight Skywalker walking towards them with fire in his blue eyes.
"Anakin?" he questioned; for a minute, he was genuinely confused, sensing that the young man was actually angry at him. Not just at her. "What is it with all of this noise?"
"I need to speak with you. Privately."
The end of that sentence was directed at the other two Jedi currently sharing conversation with him. Obi-Wan´s skin crawled at the clear sign of disrespect at two Jedi Masters. The little shit really was overstepping this time.
Before Master Koon or Vos could say anything though, Obi-Wan decided to intervene.
"We can do that by going to our private quarters. Surely, there is no need to be so rude with the other Masters, especially since we are in a public place." Obi-Wan scolds him with a firm look.
Anakin´s shoulders drop a tiny bit, realizing he was making a scene.
"I agree. Apologies, Masters." He has the courtesy to correct.
Both Vos and Plo bow however slightly, in a sign of acknowledgment.
"Pardon me, Masters." Obi-Wan nods respectfully before following Anakin to their rooms.
The walk to their chambers is quite long. Mostly because it´s awfully quiet. Unnervingly so. It´s as if there is an ice wall between them, when there was almost an unspeakable sense of closeness in its place just a few hours ago.
Anakin´s eyes stare forward all the way, as if he was punishing Obi-Wan with his silence and his denial to even look at him, refusing to talk, look or even touch him. The charade was only over when he took care of allowing Obi-Wan to enter their apartments first when they finally made it.
The minute the door hissed close behind them, Obi-Wan turns to find Anakin in an indignant pose. Arms crossed against his chest, chin raised high and eyes turned cold.
He hates the sight of it.
The look of Anakin taking a stance of such arrogant superiority and resentment. As if he was better than him. As if he had the moral high ground between them. As if Obi-Wan was a spoiled brat that needed to be put in his place.
He won´t have it.
"Pray tell, Anakin, what did you want to discuss?"
Anakin doesn´t actually respond, not quickly. He takes his time, assessing him as if he was a criminal and he a police-man. Obi-Wan wants to punch him in his face for it.
"You lied to me."
For a moment, Obi-Wan´s entire world crumbles to pieces. He feels as tiny as Anakin´s position is trying to make him feel. He feels like a thief in the night who has been caught with the goods in his hands. He feels like an idiot who tried to win a game he didn´t even know how to play.
He couldn´t know. He couldn´t possibly know.
"I have no idea what are you talking about…" He doesn´t panic. He really doesn´t. Anakin was accusing him of lying, which he has been doing so much lately that it has even been tiring. But if he was talking about just one lie, he had to be more specific. He had plenty to choose from.
"Don´t play fool. Padmé told me."
Of course that bitch did. She was desperate for Anakin´s love and would do anything to get him back. To get his pretty perfect husband back to where he belong: wrap around her tiny little finger.
"What did she tell you?"
"As if you didn´t know." Anakin accused him, eyes narrowing impatiently, starting to pace around him as an animal assessing his prey. "And you had me here, believing you were being honest. For once!"
"If you are going to continue running in circles around whatever it is you have to say, I´m ending this conversation right now. I have no idea what you are going on about."
"What I´m going on about is you telling lies, playing games, plotting with the Council, of all things!" he shouted, getting heated and heated.
Oh, so Anakin did know, then.
Obi-Wan thought he could pretend he was innocent a little while longer, that he could play coy and use the martyr card in whatever the sneaky Senator had played to get Anakin so worked out.
He didn´t know how extensive the damage was, but it would be probably too bad for him to fix, looking at things and judging by the apparent distaste on Anakin´s face and voice.
He wondered where he went wrong. Where he made a mistake. He doesn´t remember doing something terrible, or letting anybody know about his deceit. Or even better, how the Senator had realized of his folly.
"You told me you cared about me. You told me you loved me, and look at this!" Anakin continue raging.
"I´m sorry…" Obi-Wan whispered, a part of him really ashamed of his actions. The other part, just very disappointed.
"You are sorry?" Anakin lifted an eyebrow. "I just can´t believe you didn´t tell me. How could you?"
"I thought it was the best…" Obi-Wan admitted, it was true, it was the only thing in the last months that he has told him that it was completely true. "I was desperate and I took the only route of action I thought it would be convenient."
"Convenient?" Anakin repeated, buffing at his choice of words. "I´m not a child for you to decide what it´s best for me, Obi-Wan. After the Rako Hardeen business I thought you have learned your lesson. I thought you would tell me everything."
"Please, Anakin, forgive me… I really thought it was for the best. I only had your interests at heart."
Anakin snorted and walked to the door, ready to storm out of the room and put an end to their short-lived affair.
"I´m only hurt, Obi-Wan. I really thought we were past that." He muttered, now his rage had eased a little, leaving a grimace of sadness on his features. "Just… apologize with Padmé, would you? She was the one to tell me and she was deeply hurt that you and the Council plotted to have her removed from her position in the negotiations with Arkanis."
Of course she was… and wait what?
"…Arkanis?" Obi-Wan repeated.
Anakin turned to see him in the eye with a frown.
"Yes. She told me." Anakin shrugged, still upset. "We fought again, go figure. I told her that I´ve been spending time with you and that you were… that we were closer…"
Obi-Wan raised both his eyebrows at that.
"I didn´t tell her about us!" Anakin quickly insisted, all sign of anger flying away from his face. "I´m not that stupid. I just told her that I could trust you, unlike her, who has been only finding new excuses to argue with me… but look at my surprise when she told me about your plot to do without her at the negotiations…"
Obi-Wan remained quiet, mostly because he didn´t know what to say.
"I… I´m probably overreacting, I don´t know. It´s just… I thought that this relationship meant that we didn´t have secrets from each other anymore, and you knew, you know how important Padmé is to me, and still you went out of your way to hurt her like that… she loves her work, you know that as well… it was just too…"
While Anakin rambled, Obi-Wan´s brain finally caught up to him.
Anakin was upset because Obi-Wan had actively seek to hurt his beloved wife. Even if the wife wasn´t as beloved as before, he was upset because he had told Padmé that Obi-Wan was honest with him, unlike her, apparently. He probably looked the fool when Padmé told him that Obi-Wan too kept secrets from him. Anakin was hurt. Or his pride was. It hardly matter, with Anakin both things were one and the same.
"…It was too mean for you to do that…" Anakin whispered, clenching his teeth. "…before all of this, you told me you didn´t care… you didn´t care of my relationship with someone else…that you wouldn't… but you hurt her anyway…"
Obi-Wan took a deep breath. "I apologize. I didn´t think it would come to that. The decision was taken by the majority of the Council, I actually didn´t vote in favor of dismissing Padmé of the negotiations, that would have been wrong."
In reality, Obi-Wan didn´t have any idea what Anakin was talking about. That Arkanis thing… it has never happened. The Council had not discuss such a thing, since that stuff was matters of the Senate. But his quick mind had realized what had happened. How it had happened. And now he knew how to proceed.
"You didn´t?" Anakin said, a flicker of hope shining through his eyes.
"No. I thought the Council was overstepping. The assignments of diplomatic missions are up to the Senate, not the Jedi Order. We do not choose which Senator comes and goes to Republic businesses."
"Damn right they have overstepped…" Anakin defended Padmé´s honor with a stubborn look. It made Obi-Wan´s right eye twitch with disgust but he regained his posture immediately after.
"So… you didn´t vote… in favor, I mean?" the Jedi Knight asked, almost tentatively.
"No." Obi-Wan responded simply.
"Thanks the Force…" Anakin breathed out.
"Although, I should have told you, I apologize." The Jedi Master amended, stepping closer to the younger man. "You are right. I know that Padmé it´s a … great friend of yours, I should have warned you…"
"No!" Anakin rushed to say, placing both of his hands over his shoulders. "I mean, it´s Council business, of course you wouldn´t tell me… I mean, I… Force, I´m sorry, Obi-Wan, I overreacted. I made a scene…"
"You kind of did, yes." The red-headed man accepted, putting one of his hands over the gloved mechanical one of Anakin´s.
"Yeah, and it wasn´t like I had to be so mean, I mean, Padmé it´s my friend and all but she´s just Padmé, right?" Anakin babbled a bit more, scratching his neck nervously.
Yes. She was just Padmé.
Obi-Wan was going to make sure she was just that.
"Sure."
Anakin´s eyes softens and approaches the older man, putting his arms around his waist and pulling him towards his chest. Kissing his lips in a series of small pecks.
"I´m sorry I accused you like that… I should have known you wouldn´t do such a thing." He begs, kissing him two more times.
"It´s fine." Obi-Wan shrugs "You are protective of your friends, I can´t hardly fault you for that."
"You are so perfect. I really don´t deserve you." Anakin states.
You really don´t. Obi-Wan thinks to himself.
"I know!" Anakin beams. "I will make it up to you. I will take you to dinner tomorrow, how about that?"
Obi-Wan lifts an eyebrow at the interesting promise.
"It would be like a date…" Anakin insists.
The boy before him seems more excited than he does at the idea of a date with him. But Obi-Wan smiles warmly at the sweet intention to make it up to him.
"Sure, sounds good to me."
"You are the best boyfriend ever" Anakin kisses him in the mouth, deeply this time, testing his lips and molding them with his own. "I love you."
"Love you too." Obi-Wan answers, almost mechanically.
Anakin gives him one last looks and then he is rushing out of the room.
Obi-Wan waits there for a couple of seconds before raising his hand to stroke his trimmed beard.
"So that´s how you want to play it…" he whispers.
Obi-Wan only smirks after that. "Well played, Amidala. Well played."
It was a party. Or it was supposed to be.
Obi-Wan wasn´t a big fan of those, neither was Anakin for that matter. They were both Jedi, they were not used to the spotlight and the unnecessary glamour that the higher social spheres of Coruscant seem to enjoy.
And even more, they were both present by command, guarding the multiple Senators that have attended the ball, ensuring their safety.
Obi-Wan wanted to snort when the Council assign them to this duty. As if Senators really knew what actual danger was now a days, all of them safely tucked away on their fancy apartments while the rest of the galaxy suffered the rage of war. He knew that Anakin felt the same way. Had always felt the same way. Even with a Senator for a wife.
Speaking of which, she was radiant tonight. Wearing an expensive gown that was almost entirely made of glowing crystals, it flow down her body as if it was water, and hugged her petite yet elegant form perfectly. Her hair was no different, braids, accessories and even flowers adorned her brown locks and kept them in place like a stunning work of art. Obi-Wan wondered how many hours had cost her to look just the way she did.
Anakin was like a lost man. Eyes glued to the beautiful form of his wife, as if Obi-Wan wasn´t right there, beside him, aware of where his eyes wondered.
After his staged sexual encounter at the Republic Cruiser, Anakin took as his personal mission to avoid him for an entire week, trying to find things to do that didn´t concern Obi-Wan. Eventually he had given up in such tasks, since, Obi-Wan suspected, the younger man missed him too much to allow his guilt to separate them.
Since Obi-Wan had become his trusted confidant and greatest friend, Anakin had been way needier of his attentions. Needed to be with him. Needed to talk to him. Their relationship has never been better. There were no fights, no issues, no nothing. Obi-Wan always took his side even when he didn´t agree, although when Anakin´s ideas got a little too problematic or absurd, the older Jedi did try to kindly let him see that.
Now, with the both of them, standing in the middle of a crowded room, with lights so bright and music so loud and people that was maybe a bit too drunk, it was the right place to test how much Anakin really wanted him.
Here, where his wife was just in sight, where she was delightedly chatting with her fellow politicians, when she was looking like a goddess of some uncivilized planet in the outer rim. If Anakin really give a damn about him, he would paid some attention to him as well, even with that sight before him.
"Isn´t this tiresome?" Obi-Wan whispers.
Anakin doesn´t turn but his eyes spare him a glance, smirking at the jest in his voice.
"Tired already, Obi-Wan?" Anakin wonders "I would have imagined this was much more your setting than it was mine."
"Oh, dear, no." Obi-Wan replies, hands crossed behind his back, looking like the perfect soldier the Senate thought of them to be, although Jedi are not soldiers. Never were, never will be. "I remember coming to this things when I was younger, with Qui-Gon. It was dreadfully boring."
"With Qui-Gon?" Anakin snorted, turning his head to him with surprise, breaking his previous professional demeanor.
"Oh, yes. He was the perfect diplomat. Me, in the other hand… I was quite the embarrassment."
"I cannot imagine something like that, Master."
"You better do. I wasn´t in the mood to play politician´s games, nor did I have the patience. I´m afraid they are all so greatly deceiving."
"Not all of them…" Anakin murmurs, eyes looking at the delightful figure of Padmé Amidala.
Obi-Wan scowls at that. To see him so lost and pathetic over such a plain woman, it almost made him sick. Padmé could be a smart and perfectly suitable human being, it was that she was just so… vanilla. As it tended to be everything that came from the planet of Naboo. Such a traditionalist and antiquated place, and that´s coming from someone who was raised by and Order of religious zealots.
"Anakin! Obi-Wan!" Padmé cheerfully saluted them both. Pretending to have just spotted them now. Obi-Wan had lost count of how many furtive looks she had sent to Anakin´s direction.
"Padmé…" Anakin saluted likewise. Bowing slightly only to break his pose to embrace her in a small friendly hug. Obi-Wan could see the woman closing her eyes and taking in the natural smell of Anakin from his neck.
Were they always this obvious?
When they separated themselves, Obi-Wan stood there with a small smile of his.
"Senator Amidala…" he nodded.
"None of that. We are friends." She told him, putting a soft hand on his forearm in sign of closeness.
I´m seducing your husband. Just a couple of weeks he jerked off to me naked in bed.
"Of course."
"You must call me Padmé, then."
"If you wish."
"I do wish it." She confirms with a small smile, turning to look at Anakin too. "It´s been a long while since we last saw each other. You are always so terribly busy."
"We have been mostly planet bound, actually." Obi-Wan retorts.
There is a silence between them. Anakin fidgets awkwardly on his feet while Padmé raises both her eyebrows in surprise, only to send some serious looks at the Jedi Knight beside her.
"Is that so?" she says.
"Yes. The missions have been rather short. And we have spent days in the Temple, which is rare." He continues, pretending to be disinterested.
Anakin gulps at the sight of Padmé´s angry stare. Of course, she didn´t know that. Anakin probably lied and said he was busy with some Jedi business, which wasn´t the case. He only wanted to spend more time with him, not her.
"I heard you have been busy, though." Obi-Wan comments to Padmé, remembering some business of hers, promoting some peaceful negotiation with the most reasonable planet systems that have aligned themselves with the Separatist forces
"Yes…" Padmé admits, still sending some accusatory glances at her secret husband. "I´ve been working with some Senator in a diplomatic bill for protection causes."
"That sounds wonderful" Obi-Wan compliments "With the war upon us, a lot of planets will be in need of such efforts."
"If only the rest of the Senators that are so involved in the war could think that as well."
"They´ll get around." The red-headed Jedi smiles.
By the corner of his eye, Obi-Wan could see the familiar figure of Satine Kryze roaming the room. She looked breath taking. For a moment, Obi-Wan is transported to the past, to the times that just moments ago he talked about with Anakin, when he was just a Padawan and Qui-Gon still lived. When he fell head over heels for the beautiful and brilliant Satine Kryze.
"Obi-Wan…?" Anakin enquired.
The Jedi Master got out of his day-dreaming, realizing that Anakin has been calling to him and he hasn´t even noticed.
"Yes, Anakin?"
"Are you all right?" He asks, genuinely concerned, "You looked lost for a minute there."
Obi-Wan felt like rolling his eyes. He didn´t get lost for long, really. But Anakin craved his attention more than anything this days, if Obi-Wan´s eyes weren´t set on him, the young Knight might as well throw a fit.
"I was just admiring the general splendor of the evening" he muttered in a sarcastic tone, earning the giggles of both of his companions.
"If you say so, Master."
Obi-Wan was about to continue faking smiles and making small conversation with the secret married couple when an idea stroke him.
"Actually, if you two excuse me…" he said with a small bow.
Before Anakin could object to his decision, Obi-Wan walked away from his position and mingled with the rest of the crow. He smiled politely to some people that he recognized along the way before he arrived at his destiny.
Her hair was shorter than he remembered it to be all those years ago, but she was taller and, incredibly enough, even more beautiful.
Obi-Wan was about to rasp his throat when Satine turned on her own heels, maybe feeling his presence close by. She stared at him with surprise and a touch of melancholy.
"Obi-Wan…"
The drop of his name instead of his title made him smile instantly. Regardless of their separation and his actual effort for trying to seduce his ex-apprentice, Satine remained one of the most important people in his life. She was, after all, his truest love, or was, at some point in history.
"Satine. It´s lovely to see you."
"It´s good to see you too. Didn´t know you come to this things…"
"I don´t." Obi-Wan shrugs. "But I´m in duty, I´m afraid."
"Oh" she exclaims "Of course, protection, I suppose."
"Indeed. I spotted you from the other side of the room and came here in hopes for a dance, if you are so inclined…" he invites, showing and extending one of his hands.
Satine laughs slightly to herself.
"Only if you promise not to drop me… this time." She jests.
That makes him snort.
"That was like… one time." He admits rather inelegantly but that gets a laugh out of the Senator and that seems enough to appease his clumsiness.
Satine grabs his hand at once, walking beside him to the dance floor filled with people dress to impress. Of all of that crowd, Satine reminds the most stunning of them all, or maybe it just appears so to Obi-Wan´s overemotional mind.
Before he can lose himself in the glow of the moment, his mind reminds him why he was doing this in the first place, and his senses concentrates into keeping a watchful eyes to the corner of the room, Anakin standing beside Padmé and instead of making a useful spend of his time by conversing with his wife, his eyes are attached to the sight of Satine and him dancing.
They both move like a perfect crafted dancers, the chemistry between them all but evident and the affection present in both of their hearts showing through their seemly innocent performance. Obi-Wan would be lying if he said he doesn´t miss her, even if it´s just a bit. Sometimes he stops to think how different his lie will be if he had chosen her instead of his vows as a Jedi, but that life it´s long past. He can only move towards a future, and that future is beside a tall man with dark golden hair, not the perfectly angelic image in front of him currently sharing a dance.
Obi-Wan can feel Anakin´s distinctive rage from the other side, he smirks at the sensation. His eyes capture the moment when his partner´s blue eyes almost become red with anger and frustration and how he pursues his lips in disgust.
Beside him, Padmé who was trying to engage in conversation with his husband realizes this too, because she turns to see him dancing the night away with the Senator of Mandalore and her eyes grow surprised and then shine with concern, exchanging between them and Anakin´s intense stare.
Good. Let her see. Let her know she had lost the battle.
That was all that he needs to feed his ego a little bit. Such an unJedi-like feature but present nonetheless. Obi-Wan turns to his most accommodating companion, who blushes and smiles with so much joy that Obi-Wan cannot help but share the sentiment.
This dance it´s all that will be between them now, for he cannot give more than what he is already sharing. His attentions can´t divert from the man jealously waiting for him at the other side of the party, and his mind can´t be bothered with another love affair when he is already busy dealing with one.
He thinks that he can easily fall back in love doing this again. But that´s an expense he cannot afford. Love is beautiful, indeed. But it´s also for children. And he is not a child anymore, but a man playing a game. A game he intended to win.
"And what did you tell him?" He says between giggles.
"Oh, just that it wasn´t supposed to eat it as if he was a wild Rancor running up the forest of Felucia…" Bail said with a hand firmly clasped on his left shoulder, almost doubling over with laughter over his own story.
"Noooo…" Obi-Wan howled in response, almost crying trying to contain his own barks of laughter.
"Oh, but I did, old friend." He insisted.
Obi-Wan had been spending his free time with Bail Organa more and more now that they have found each other sharing space and time inside the Republic flagship that carried both, Obi-Wan´s troops and Bail´s entourage; they have been assigned to the same mission, Bail with diplomatic ends and Obi-Wan with protection and security proposes.
If anyone was wondering about Anakin in this story; he had been left doing some other mission at the other side of the galaxy. Obi-Wan was actually relieved to be separated from the young Jedi Knight for a while since they were almost always together these days. Anakin was getting clingy to the point of driving the red-haired man crazy and preferred to stay in their quarters holding him while watching some boring holo-movie or making out with him and attempting to have sex, which Obi-Wan always denied in a swift elegant way. Padmé was an almost sour untouchable topic for the both of them; Anakin still went to her on the rare occasion and every time he did, he came back with red puffy eyes and a really bad mood. Obi-Wan felt bad and a bit ashamed when Anakin walked into the room, seeing his friend suffering through a dying relationship was causing some struggle inside his own mind, shaking his resolution and commitment towards his plan, but he also knew that he needed to move forward.
It was too late to go back. Ending this will cause more pain and damage to Anakin than continue with his charade will ever do.
Anakin had gotten mad when Obi-Wan informed him they were to be separated; he had a few interesting choices of words towards the Council for making such a decision. Obi-Wan had explained him that it would be just for a couple of brief missions but that hadn´t convinced the young man, insisted for the Jedi Master to pull some strings since he was a member of the Council himself, but in the end, the Knight relented and accepted reality, especially when Obi-Wan had given him 'the look'.
At first, Obi-Wan was only glad that he got to have some alone time to himself and his duties as a Jedi, but when he knew he got to be in the company of Bail Organa, he lighted up a little bit. Bail was one of the few dear friends he had, it excited him to spend quality time with him.
He didn´t remember how much he missed the presence of another human being, the contact with someone that didn´t need him to pretend or put on a show of false affection. Before the beginning of his scheming, his relationship with Anakin was, by far, the deepest friendship he had. Not even his past connection with Qui-Gon was this powerful and real, but the new doors he had opened when he set his mind into seducing Anakin had made him see that, however important his previous relationship with Anakin was, it didn´t compare to the strength and intimacy he had discovered with this new one. They were so many secrets between them, old resentments, unspoken fears, on both sides, that it baffled him how he never even suspected of their existence before all of this came to be. How blind he was in how fragile their relationship really was.
He had problems with seeing Anakin as a potential lover, he had issues with kissing him and talking to him as if he was the whole world, he struggled with accepting a life of being the romantic object of Anakin Skywalker, but he longed to be his friend again, to just talk and make jokes instead of sappy promises of undying love. He wanted him to clasp his shoulder instead of holding his hand; but he never missed the old superficial texture of their previous lives. He cherished Anakin´s new found honesty, the look of relief in his eyes when he didn´t have to hesitate to tell him something anymore, how his laughter seemed lighter, how his smile seemed real.
It made him feel real too.
Obi-Wan would not said that he returns Anakin´s devotion to him, that would be quite absurd. He loved him in an entire different way, they were meant to be. Not in the romantic passionate sort that Padmé Amidala fancy herself to be with him, but in a more powerful manner all together, it´s a union crafted in years and years of acknowledgment, of going through bad and worse side by side, of been able to see the ugly, nasty parts of themselves and not running away the moment they saw something they didn´t want to see, they have fought monsters, in more than one shape and sense. Padmé Amidala was only a silly girl with illusive dreams, hoping to have her pretty love story in the form of a brave Knight.
Well, this wasn´t a fairytale. And Obi-Wan was willing to show her just that.
Bail continued talking about some matters of the Senate, even shared a bit of his private life with his wife, who he loved dearly and clearly missed. Obi-Wan found himself enjoying the time they had, and when they landed on *Lothal and paid their respects to their respective diplomatic envoys, they continued their conversations in the gardens of the governmental residence where they were being housed by the duration of their visit.
They could have keep conversing until dinner, since Obi-Wan was acting as the bodyguard of the Senator, if it wasn´t for a rather unexpected interruption.
"It seems that the negotiation are going to be peaceful, after all." Obi-Wan pointed out while they walked through the beautiful yet simple gardens at the light of the sunset. "There doesn´t seem to be any threats to your well-being, Bail."
The Aldeerani diplomat didn´t seem to agree judging by a sudden frown that have invaded his features.
"Well, I wouldn´t say that just yet, Obi-Wan…" He remarked, pointing out to something before them.
When the Jedi turned his head, he almost allowed a gasp to escape from his mouth at the sight in front of him.
Anakin stood right there, in all his glory. An angry petulant grimace on his face and both of his arms crossed against his chest.
Obi-Wan would have scolded him there and then if he wasn´t so shocked by what he was seeing.
"Anakin…?" he asked, still surprised.
"Hello, Master…" The way he dragged his name as if it was the name of an enemy let him know all that he needed about his partner´s mood.
"It´s rather an unexpected surprise, Master Skywalker, to find you here…" Bail muttered with a calmed voice, even though he must have been equally vexed by the circumstances.
"I was close by…" Anakin told him "… and I was sent by the Council as an extra security measure."
"Oh!" The Senator gasped "Well, it clearly wasn´t needed. Obi-Wan here has everything under control and the dignitaries have been most cordial."
"I´m glad." Anakin said, lacking any sense of sincerity.
"Senator Organa, why don´t you keep going? I will be joining you soon for supper." Obi-Wan gracefully reassures.
Bail sends him a look of discomfort but nods before leaving for where he came from.
Once they are completely alone, Obi-Wan´s face turns into one of annoyance.
"You shouldn´t be here." He says, dragging his words through clenched teeth.
Anakin snorts with bitterness, approaching the Jedi Master with no signs of changing his previous attitude.
"Is this the reason you wanted to be alone during this mission, Master?"
Obi-Wan frowns, almost sensing where the conversation was going. "Excuse me…?"
"Don´t play coy. Bail…ha!" Anakin spits back.
"Are you throwing a temper tantrum, now?" Obi-Wan questions him, pacing around the elegant sand gardens of the governmental palace. He refused to feel intimidated by Anakin´s position.
"A Tantrum? I saw you, Obi-Wan. Making sweet eyes to Senator Organa´s way. You should have seen you, it was disgusting."
"And you came here, like a child, to do what exactly? I do not believe for one second that the Council sent you here, at least not without sending notice to me first." Obi-Wan sentences, more and more upset by the minute.
"You don´t want me here. Now I see that." Anakin retorts, coming even closer to him, so close that their noses almost touch.
"You are being childish…" Obi-Wan warns, unable to give ground "I don't know where you get this idea that I wanted to be here, alone, with Senator Organa. But you are clearly out of you mind."
"I´m not with you for one minute and you are already… already…" Anakin growls through clenched teeth.
"Already what?"
"…Cheating!" he explodes.
There is a silence between them. Everything that it´s going on it´s so fucked up that Obi-Wan doesn´t even know where to begin. He has no idea how and why Anakin had gotten inside his head that Obi-Wan was cheating on him… with Bail of all people, the man who just some hours ago was complaining and chatting about how much he missed his wife. Of how he wished the war was already over so he could return home and see her once more. And now, Anakin was more than fuming. He was in the verge of explosion. Obi-Wan didn´t know how that even came to be.
"You are talking nonsense" The Jedi Master lets him know. "I don´t even know how you came up with that absurd idea."
"Really?!" Anakin yells. "Because I see it all so clear. You walking with him through the gardens, being like confidants in the sunset, it isn´t so hard to see what´s going on between you two…"
"Anakin…" Obi-Wan sighs while pinching the bridge of his nose. "You are raving. I´m just gonna say this once, so hear me well: I´m not, under any circumstance, having an affair with Senator Organa, all right?"
Anakin pierces his lips, still upset, completely unconvinced.
"Like I´m gonna believe you…"
"Believe me or not, do as you want. That it´s the true. What has gotten this in your head anyway?" Obi-Wan asks, crossing his own arms before his chest.
Anakin looks away for a moment, staring at the dark blue sea that flows just before the gardens until it reaches a seemly never ending horizon. The light of the sun plays and moves on the surface of the water so beautifully that it gives an enchanted look to the whole scenery.
"… that´s not what it´s important here…" the younger Jedi excuses, trying to change the direction the conversation was taking.
"Clearly it is, for you to come here all the way from the outer-rim to yell accusations at me…" Obi-Wan almost whispers, lowering his tone in case Bail stills remains close by, or maybe a clone gets to listen to their words while at patrol. He did tell them to move around.
"It´s just that…" Anakin tries to excuse, sighing and placing a hand over his forehead. "Look, it´s just difficult, okay?"
Obi-Wan lifts an eyebrow, really not understanding.
"You were gone. And I… you seemed all too happy to leave me. You tried to hide it, you did, but I could see it… when you told me you were going to some mission on your own. It made me feel insecure." Anakin reveals, relaxing his stiff posture and changing his furious look by a sad, frustrated one.
Obi-Wan can barely keep a straight face at the confession. He didn´t know he had let Anakin see how relived he really felt when he was assigned to some duties of his own. He thought he was doing a good job of acting all concerned and resigned at his fate, not excited at it. And the true was that he did not enjoy nor preferred to be without Anakin when it came to missions, everybody knew they work better when they are together, not questions about that. He likes to spend time with him, he likes to talk and joke and laugh and make plans alongside him, but the constant touches and the deep intimacy of their new, not platonic, relationship was taking its toll on him. Obi-Wan wanted space, not a permanent separation.
But if Obi-Wan were to say such a thing, Anakin will be displeased and probably heart-broken, and surely, he would go back running to the arms of the woman that Obi-Wan had tried to separate him from this entire time.
He couldn´t have that.
So, instead of continue this nonsensical fighting, he decided to do what it was best for them both.
Obi-Wan grabbed Anakin´s gloved hand, pulling him to the shelter of some trees and bushes, making sure no one was around, he leaned on and kissed him full on the mouth.
The Jedi Master could hear the young man gasp at the action, and before he could turn the show of affection into a make-out session, he separated swiftly, placing his forehead against Anakin´s.
"Anakin…" he started, voice tuned tender and soft. "…there is not a day in my life that I wish to be separated from you. I love you, and I want to spend every minute of my time with you, if I could…"
The Knight´s blue eyes started to look a little bit glassy, his face was flushed and his mouth opened agape, his hot breath caressing Obi-Wan´s lips.
"…Yes, I enjoy spending my time with Senator Organa. We are good friends, especially since that terrible business in Zeegola. But his company does not even come close to the joy I feel when I´m in your arms…" he whispers, eyes half-lidded, staring at the young man´s beautiful features "… to the way you make me tremble with your kisses…" his eyes fix in his lips, they look so soft, and Obi-Wan knew them to be just so "… the rush pumping through my veins when I hear your voice…"
"Obi-Wan…" Anakin mutters before launching forward.
The blonde grabs him by the hair, pulling him up to meet his lips. Anakin´s kiss was fierce and like a wild fire spreading, burning everything in its way. Obi-Wan´s head starts to spin around with the force of those plump lips on his own, with the taste of his tongue fighting against his own; his arms, just a minute ago, so strong and firm became a boneless pair of limbs, falling to his side, useless. Anakin embraces him by the waist, flushing their bodies together in a way that almost makes Obi-Wan think he was going to melt and become one with the man before him, devouring him. He almost wanted to.
Fuck, his lips were perfect. Sweet and rough and hot and overwhelming all at once. He felt as if his life had stopped in that single minute, he felt as if everything else were of little consequence, that he only existed in that very moment, everything else, before, was an insulting farce. Anakin was the center of his entire life, just then.
He shouldn´t feel like that, he knew. But Anakin was everywhere, inside him, around him. Until there was nothing left of him that wasn´t him too.
"Obi-Wan…" Anakin calls him when he suddenly separates his mouth from his. Their lips still playfully touching each other, grazing against one another in mock kisses. "…let me make love to you."
Obi-Wan doesn´t flinch the way he has done all the times the young man had suggested the same thing. He just remained there, looking at Anakin through hal-lidded eyes.
"We can´t…" he says, quietly.
There is some pressure on his hips, Anakin´s hands grabbing at him while the young man bit his inferior lip. "Why not!?" he whispers harshly.
"I´m on duty… you are not supposed to be here…"
"But I´m here… with you" Anakin clarifies, pulling him against him and kissing him twice. "I could have you here, against the tree for all I care."
Obi-Wan shudders at the admission. The thought of being pushed against the surface of the trunk, of Anakin´s hands pulling at his robes, of Anakin inside him, makes him tremble. Obi-Wan is suddenly terrified of his own emotions.
"Ani… no, it´s just wrong. We shouldn´t…"
The young Jedi growls from a place so deep that it makes Obi-Wan gasps slightly. He knows that the Knight its angry, that he is holding himself back with so much strength that his hands, currently on Obi-Wan´s hips, are starting to hurt him.
"Ani, it´s just not appropriate… right now…"
"I get it."
"Anakin, please… you have to understand…" Obi-Wan whispers, sensing his partner´s displeasure.
"I said I get it, Obi-Wan!" he sneers. Dropping his hands from where they previously rested.
"Anakin…" Obi-Wan calls for what it feels like a hundredth time. Reaching from Anakin´s gloved hand, clasping it in one of his own and pulling him close, even when the younger man refuses to look him in the eye.
"I love you, Anakin. I want to… I really do" He did. For the very first time he felt on fire, he felt as if he was dying without Anakin´s touch. "I want to feel you, everywhere. But we can´t, not here, not now…"
"When and where then Obi-Wan?" Anakin asks, voice low and upset "when we are home you always find an excuse to not do it, and now, after I found you, half-way in the arms of Bail Organa, of all people…" he spats and Obi-Wan repress the need of rolling his eyes. "… you tell me you can´t."
"Anakin, for the last time!" Obi-Wan almost yells in exasperation "…I do not have an affair with Senator Organa. He is happily married and I´m happily secretly involved with a man that I love…" He punctuates this with a kiss, teeth biting the inferior lip of the younger Jedi, dragging the pull until Anakin was shaking with sudden arousal. "… I couldn´t care less about anyone else. Just you. Stop being so damn jealous, it´s incredibly unattractive."
Anakin grabs him by the hips again, kissing him with all the passion a young man in love can evoke. Taking his breath away from him.
"You drive me crazy…" Anakin growls, suddenly placing his arms under Obi-Wan´s legs, pulling him up from the ground and slamming him against the trunk of the tree, where just minutes ago he swore he would take him if he could.
Anakin´s hands were holding him strong and steady, while his lips ravished him to not end. Obi-Wan could hardly stop him, his mind was a mess of irrational thoughts, a fuzz of sounds and never ending images. His skin was on fire. His heart was on the verge of collapse. And all he could think was how sweet would be to die like this.
The pulling and pushing got his always pristine Jedi robes unashamedly disarrayed, and Anakin´s movements were making it hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to do anything at all. He could barely kiss him back. Anakin´s fury could only be matched by his passion, equally consuming and equally devastating. And it was currently devastating him.
"Oh, Kriff!" Obi-Wan huffed, the minute he felt Anakin´s crouch against his own. They were both rock hard.
"Fuck, forget about it, I´m going to have you right now, right here…" Anakin growled, kissing him senseless, leaving no room to argumentation.
"No, no…" Obi-Wan muttered, separating himself from his treacherous lips, only to have him biting the side of his neck.
Obi-Wan thought he was the one in control. He thought he would always be the one in control.
How very wrong he turned out to be.
"Yes, I´m going to have you, Master." He said against the skin of his collarbone, now exposed by Anakin´s relentless hands.
Suddenly there was so much red. Obi-Wan couldn´t think clearly through the fog of the passion that currently raven him, he couldn´t form a single coherent sentence, but even through his debauched state, there was a little voice inside his head that was furious.
How fast had this gone out of his hands. He felt so helpless and small, it was a feeling he didn´t enjoy. Not even when the hands and lips touching him felt like heaven. Even when he could feel every vibration of life through the Force that connected him with the entire universe around him.
There, inside him, was this untamed rage. It demanded him to be set free.
Anakin kept pulling and kissing and biting, and Obi-Wan knew that if he allowed him to go any further, he would soon enough find himself deprived of clothing and utterly fucked. Literally.
"I´m going to fuck you raw…" Anakin promised while his hands worked on Obi-Wan´s belt. "I´m going to have you so truthfully that you would feel it for weeks."
Control. I´m the one in control. Obi-Wan repeated inside his own head.
You are a child.
You are not going to win.
"I wonder how you taste." Anakin whispered to his ear, making him gasp at the feeling of his breath against his sensitive skin. "I bet you taste like honey. That you taste better than anything I have ever had."
He wanted it to stop. He wanted to have control again. He wanted to be himself again.
Not this boy, not this way.
No.
"Fuck…" Anakin barked. Reaching low with his hand to palm Obi-Wan´s own erection through the fabric of his pants. "I love you. How I cannot love you when you are so good to me?..."
"It´s that what you tell her too?"
The words are out of his mouth. He doesn´t have the energy to regret it.
Anakin stills above him.
"It´s that what you tell her too…" Obi-Wan says, looking him in the eye. "…before you fuck her?"
I´m back from the dead by upopular demand.
Anyway, guys there is just one chapter left and we are doneeeeee. So get excited for that.
I have something to say, I have recieved a really nasty comment in AO3 about this story, I don´t really worry about it because there is plenty of people who likes this story as it is, but I´m going to point this out a last time because it seemes the warning of the first chapter wasn´t enough: This fanfic revolves and it´s inspired by the song Pacify Her by Melanie Martinez, and the characters act accordingly to what the song is about, there are even direct quotes and winks at the song within the fanfic itself. So, all of the characters, and especially Obi-Wan, behaved in a way they would NEVER do in canon. If that is something you do not enjoy, don´t read it. I, myself, do not like OOC characters if it´s not justified by the story the author is writing and when I find one of thouse I simply do not read it or don´t comment, because regardless of my personal tastes everyone is entitled to write what they like and enjoy it without shame or being insulted because of it. So please, be nice and don´t leave nasty comments, only constructive criticism that is aim at improving the author´s writing.
That being said, I wish you all have a nice day and wait for the next update.