These characters are under copyright by Atsushi Ōkubo, Squar Enix, Yen Press, Shōnen,
Akatsuki Yamatoya. Madman Entertainment, Manga Entertainment, Funimation, and/or others. This is a work of fanfiction, for no monetary gain.
A/N:
CAUTION: Brief suicidal thoughts below.
Chapter 14 – Reaper, Weapon and Meister: Together at Last?
Stein awoke to warmth and softness and confusion. He was lying in an unfamiliar smelling bed, tucked between pristine white silk sheets, under a ridiculously plush and fluffy snow white duvet. He looked around the room: black carpet with a white border, black walls with white trim, white skulls, and white candles in Gothic candelabras. Neat, tidy, symmetrical, without a reassuring stitch in sight. Death's home.
What am I doing here?
The bedroom door opened and Death and Spirit walked in. Stein felt the usual twinge of jealousy and longing. Spirit was his Weapon, not Julia's and not… "Julia!" He cried the hated name aloud, as he yanked away the coverings that were drowning him in softness and stumbled out of the bed, still half tangled in the sheets.
Death and Spirit reached him simultaneously, catching him. It was only when he was pushing away their too helpful hands that he froze, flummoxed. Death's hands weren't the usual comical exaggerations he made, but strong and human feeling, under the white gloves.
"It's alright, Stein. She won't ever hurt you or anyone else again. Her final fate is yet to be determined, but she's imprisoned for now. She's a traitor to me and the DWMA. I only wish we'd listened when you tried to tell us all those years ago. It's bad enough that she caused you so much pain and sadness, but knowing we unwittingly aided her is…" Death trailed off as if he couldn't think of a sufficient word.
"Soul crushing," Spirit said, like Death, still holding him.
"You know? Ah. The tape. You didn't give her a chance to destroy it," Stein said, his voice becoming more emotionless with every word. Now the only thing left is for me to die.
He pulled away and headed for the door. I need to get to my lab. All I need is a scalpel and it will finally be over.
"Stein? Franken? Where are you going? You can't leave!" Spirit ordered, as if he were the Meister.
Stein stopped mid step, blinked and frowned, staring at the floor. The only time he ever used to call me by my first name was when we were making love.
Spirit cut off his path to the door. "Look at me, damn it! You weren't the only one she hurt, you know. She took you from both Death and me. Then when she'd had her fun, she cast me aside, twisting my love for you into stories of infidelity with other women. She was my wife, but I never loved her the way I love you and Death."
Stein's head jerked up, his eyes widening in astonishment at the confession, looking quickly to Lord Death.
"Don't look so surprised. I might have been oblivious my feelings for the two of you were shared, but surely you always knew how Spirit felt about you," Death said. And then he took off his mask and hood.
"You haven't changed," Stein whispered reverently, in awe.
Death frowned. "That's right. I don't suppose that's fair, is it? Is this better?" he asked, as gentle smile and frown lines appeared on his face, and his white striped black hair became salted with grey.
"No!" Stein cried, hating to see the ageless perfection of Death's face changed. "Change back. Please," Stein pleaded.
"Why? Aren't I still just as attractive? It's still me. I haven't changed just because my face has. You haven't changed, either, Stein. Your face and body might be scarred now, but your soul and heart are still pure," Death ludicrously claimed.
"Pure? Have you met me? I went mad, remember? I tried to do terrible things," Stein reminded him.
"That wasn't you. That was the Madness Wavelength inside of you. I have that too, remember? I'm guilty of more than a little Madness myself. I nearly strangled Spirit to death. I frightened him, and even my own son, as well as a number of his friends, Weapons and Meisters," Death claimed.
"And as for me, it's a good thing Marie already pummeled Julia nearly into unconsciousness before we heard that recording, or I'd likely have cut Julia apart," Spirit added grimly.
"Marie…?" Stein asked, shocked. Marie was so gentle, a soothing balm on his tortured soul. The only one she'd ever hated and attacked was Medusa. No. She'd hated Crona too, for a while, but she'd worked with them to fight Medusa.
"Yes. That friend of yours is quite protective of you. She… ah… is just a friend, isn't she?" Death asked, his voice both hesitant and hopeful.
"Yes. A precious friend. My only friend," Stein agreed, feeling the cold, dark emptiness close in around him.
Then Spirit was holding him again, the warm strength of his arms momentarily pushing the cold darkness away.
"She's not your only friend, you idiot. Death and I are your friends too, but also, so are Maka, Soul, Black*Star, Tsubaki, Kid, Liz and Patty. Just because they're your students doesn't mean they can't be your friends. They certainly think they are. You should have seen how fierce Kid looked," Spirit argued.
"He's a chip off the old block, you know," Death said, his body suddenly morphing back into the usual goofy parody he normally maintained as his everyday façade, his face becoming an indistinct blur. "Oops. Sorry about that," he apologized sheepishly, as he reformed into his fully human form.
"It's fine. It's not like we're not used to seeing you like that. It's been years since we've seen you like this," Spirit said.
"You could see a lot more of me," Death commented rakishly, waggling his eyebrows.
"Can't you be serious just for once?" Spirit groaned.
Death's face went completely solemn, his expression intent. "I am being serious. I meant it. My son is nearly an adult now, your ex-wife is out of the picture, and you and Stein are reconciling far more deeply than you had before, when he returned just to work with you. I'd like to be a part of that, if you'll have me. Whether or not you were previously in a physical relationship with one another, I'd like to be now, with both of you. I'd like the two of you to become the three of us."
Stein looked from Death to Spirit in surprise. From the look on Spirit's face, he could tell he was just as blindsided.
"You want the three of us to be in a physical relationship? Or an emotional one?" Spirit asked cautiously, for clarity.
"Both," Death replied. "Only if you're amenable to it, of course. My feelings for the two of you won't change, whether or not you accept the idea. I'll still love both of you, the way I always have. I don't want you to worry that anything will change if you decline."
"You make it sound like a business proposition," Spirit commented, sounding dubious.
"Forgive me for that. It's not like I've had a lot of practice at this sort of thing. But I'm a quick study. I've been told I'm a good father and a good leader, so I think I'd make a good husband. Or partner. Whatever you want me to be."
"No one's ever called me a good father or a good husband," Spirit said sadly.
"You're a loving father. Yes, you made mistakes, but we all do. Just because you're not perfect doesn't change that. I can say that, remember, because while I'm the father of Kid, who is one awesome young man, I was also the father of Asura. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, things don't work out right. But other times they do. Maka is a wonderful girl, Spirit, and that is largely thanks to you, how close you were when she was younger. Frankly, in retrospect, I think Julia was jealous of your relationship with her, too. But enough about them. Let me know what you decide whenever you know yourselves. No pressure. I've waited this long. I can wait as long as you need."
Stein reached up to turn the screw, but Spirit intercepted his hand. "You don't need that. There's nothing wrong with you. There never has been. I was just too blind to see the truth."
"You don't need me, either of you. Your Death's Weapon now, not mine, even if he does take pity on me and lets me wield you from time to time," Stein argued, proud that he kept the bitterness from his voice.
"Is that truly what you believe?" Death asked, sounding strangely sad.
"Of course. Why shouldn't I? It's the truth," Stein said honestly. No matter how much he hated it.
"It was never my intention to take Spirit from you. Yes, every Reaper has his favored Death Scythe, the strongest Death Scythe of that generation, but that doesn't mean we can't use any Weapon around us. If both of you wish that I never wield Spirit again, then I won't," Death offered solemnly.
"No!" Spirit cried, paling at Death's words, but then his pleading eyes flew frantically to his. "Please, Franken. Don't make me choose between you, not now, not after everything."
His jealousy and bitterness melted away with his need to see Spirit happy, with the use of his given name for the second time, after years without hearing it. "Of course not. The way it's been is fine. Lord Death allows me to use you much of the time, and uses you himself when he has need."
"No, Stein. It is you who allows me to use Spirit, when I have direct need of him, and he himself who both allows us to wield him. It's a partnership. The only difference is, he's a Weapon with two wielders, a Reaper and a Meister," Death carefully corrected.
Stein blinked at the implication that he had more power in the situation than Lord Death himself. Spirit having more power than both of them wasn't nearly as mentally jarring. He reached for the screw as his world view shifted, but then stopped, when he saw Spirit stiffen, though he made no attempt to physically stop him this time.
"I need time to think. I want to be alone for awhile. And to talk to Marie," Stein proposed, not wanting to drive a wedge between them, but needing space. It belatedly occurred to him that maybe Marie didn't view him in the same light as he viewed her, that maybe she was in love with him, that she didn't just love him as a friend.
Was that why she attacked Julia? In a panic, he reached for the screw and turned it, the shiver of pain bringing him focus.
"What's wrong?" both Spirit and Lord Death demanded.
"Marie. What if she loves me?" Stein rasped, terrified by the prospect of her hating him for not loving her, of losing his only close friend, his sole confidant.
"I can speak to her first," Spirit and Death offered simultaneously, word for word.
Stein's eyes widened. "Resonance. You're both in resonance, even now, even just speaking." The jealousy returned with a vengeance, a roaring, screaming, raging green-eyed beast in his head, wanting to rend and tear and bite and claw. He turned toward the door, needing to escape, to get out now, but cold shadow and warm arms wrapped around him from either side.
"We're sorry. We didn't mean to hurt you," Lord Death apologized.
"Please don't go. Not like this," Spirit begged.
The resonance was gone, not replaced by the cacophony of discord that shrieked and screamed like a banshee in his head, but by the same intent and purpose but different thoughts and words, feelings and actions.
He stopped straining against their dual hold. "It's fine," he said, his automatic, preprogrammed response, the lie he daily told the world. It wasn't fine, ever. Nothing was fine. He was ugly and broken and unwanted, in a world that was beautiful and perfect and whole.
Death sighed heavily, the first use he'd made of his lungs since forming them for him. "No, it's far from fine, Stein. But if you give us time, if you let us help you, it can be. Just don't run from us. You can be alone to think, but not to brood. You can speak to Marie, to Sid, to Nygus, to anyone you trust. But you are not allowed to harm yourself, or to run away. If you feel yourself about to do either, I want you to talk to someone, to let them help you. Promise me. If you promise me, if you swear as Spirit's Meister, then we'll let you go now. But you have to swear."
Not be allowed to hurt myself? The thought was so foreign it was terrifying.
Stein looked over at Death, ready to argue that he couldn't agree to that, when he saw the pain in his all too human eyes. His gaze flew to Spirit's face, and he saw the same pain there.
"I won't hurt myself, I promise," he swore instantly.
They looked expectantly at him.
"And… and I won't run. I'll talk. To Marie, to someone," he promised, meaning it.
"Alright. Then if you want to, you can go. If you want one or both of us to speak to Marie first, we will. Or you can. Whatever is better for you," Lord Death said.
"What will the two of you be doing, when I'm gone?" Stein asked, realizing after he said it how suspicious and insecure, jealous and hurt he sounded.
"If you want, we won't speak to one another, until you return. We both have plenty we can do without associating with one another," Lord Death assured him.
Stein felt petty and small and selfish. "No! No, it's fine," he said automatically.
Spirit frowned and he immediately felt sheepish.
"No. I meant really this time. I don't want you avoiding one another because of my insecurities," he said sincerely.
The smile that lit Spirit's face was worth the twinge of pain those words had cost him.
"Alright then. You go do what you need to do, and we'll see you when you're ready," Lord Death assured him.
0 0 0
Death froze when he heard a voice coming from the Death Room, as he glided beneath the Guillotine Arches, and he listened as he advanced silently.
"I hadn't realized that Sid had already contacted you. But I promise you, this isn't some kind of Witch-hunt. We're not searching for traitors. We're searching for any friends Julia Albarn might have, simply because she needs them," Kid explained, the frustration in his voice palpable.
"We're sorry, Death the Kid, but there really isn't anyone like that here. Director Albarn was a competent, efficient leader, but a somewhat distant one. I honestly cannot think of a single person here that she is close enough to that we would call them her friend, myself included, and I've worked with her for years," Assistant Director Genevieve, replied.
"So there's no one? I'm sorry to hear that, but honestly not all that surprised. Thank you for speaking with me. Oh, and one more thing. Regardless of what you might have been told, whatever contingency plan has been put in place is merely temporary. Director Albarn will be returning to the Middle Eastern branch as the Director once this matter is brought to a resolution. And at that time, this incident is to be put behind us. She will be treated with the respect, loyalty and obedience she deserves for her years of faithful service to my father. Is that understood?" Kid demanded.
Death wasn't sure who was more startled, Genevieve or him. "Yes ,sir! Of course, sir! We looked forward to her exoneration and return," she was quick to agree.
"Excellent. End transmission," Kid said, and he turned away from the mirror, freezing when he saw him, a look of both guilt and rebellion flashing across his face.
"Hello, Father. I didn't realize you had entered," Kid greeted him.
"No, you didn't. You were quite busy. May I ask what that was all about, Son?" Death asked, careful to ensure his voice was filled with curiosity rather than censure.
He listened patiently as Kid explained their theory regarding Julia Albarn, that she wasn't malicious, but was instead mad.
"I see. In the future, Son, I'd appreciate it if you speak to me about matters of this magnitude, before countermanding one of my mandates with your own directive. That being said, I understand your passion, in this particular instance," Death scolded gently.
"I'm sorry, Father. I didn't mean to contradict you or appear to usurp your authority. You're right, I should have spoken to you first, but you were with Stein and Spirit and… How is Stein, Father?" Kid asked solicitously.
"Recovering, though it will be a long, torturous road, I'm afraid. But he's promised us he won't harm himself, or run away, so I'm optimistic," Death admitted. "And how do you feel, Son? About me and Spirit and Stein? Do you understand our intent, our resolve?"
"Of course. I've known you've loved both Stein and Spirit for years, Father. I'm glad you'll finally be able to be together. You will all be together, won't you? You've all agreed, haven't you?" Kid belatedly asked.
"Yes, Son, I believe we will be. Love is a wondrous, dangerous thing: it can be patient and healing, but also destructive beyond imagining. I only hope whatever feelings you might hold for a certain young Weapon are returned in kind, that he's good to you," Death fished.
Kid's face flushed and he looked away, but then he looked up again and met his eyes. "Soul and I feel the same way about one another. We're not quite sure where that might lead, yet, but no matter what happens, he'll always be one of my closest friends," Kid said confidently.
"I'm happy to hear that, Son. We all need friends like that. I think you might be right, in what you discovered about Julia. I hope you are, for Maka's sake, and even for Spirit's. But for Stein's sake, I'll be the one to make the final determination of whether or not it is safe to allow Julia Albarn to go free, or to return to her post as Director of the Middle Eastern Division, alright Son?" Death said firmly.
Kid's face flushed. "Yes, Father. Of course."
"Alright, then. Now, I believe you're supposed to be resting. Why don't you return to the Infirmary, so you can spend time with some of those precious friends of yours while you get the rest you need, in order to recuperate quickly and fully, alright?" Death urged.
"Alright. One last thing, Father. Has there been any word about Justin?" Kid asked, more fearfully than hopefully.
Death formed lungs just long enough to sigh. "No, I'm afraid not. We have every able bodied Weapon and Meister in this hemisphere looking for him, though. I'm certain we'll have news of him soon," he assured his son.