Calvin and Hobbes the Imagination War
Chapter 6
A Tiger, a Mother, and a father of a hyperactive 6 year old go into a camp and…crap I forgot the joke.
Chapter/ written by WG
Well, it's safe to say that, when Mom and Dad received the letters from camp, they were a little stunned. "I was sure that camp would have helped him, it was guaranteed!" Mom sighed, shaking her head. "But he's only getting more aggravating… not to mention the fact that awful bully, Moe, keeps tormenting him,"
"I'm more concerned about the language he's learning from Derek," Dad sneered, reading the second letter. "Though it is nice to see that he's getting along with at leastone other camper,"
"Dear, do you think this was the right idea? You've read those letters and figured how angry he was, hating us more and more. Maybe we should bring him home…"
Dad shook his head. "No, honey, that's just what he wants us to do. This camp will be good for him, it-"
"If you say 'it will build character' ONCE, I'm going to slam a vase over your head,"
Dad cringed. "Sheesh, now I know where the kid gets it from…" he straightened up. "We did all we could do, dear, but Calvin would never give in to our discipline. I think we should wait until the end of the summer- maybe he'll be better by then."
Mom sighed. "I hope so…"
"And if not, we can always get a dachshund-"
"Dear!"
"Joke, it was a joke!" Dad rolled his eyes, and looked at the letter. "You know… maybe even hanging around other kids will help him become more social, and break out of his habit of talking to imaginary friends. I mean, he's addressing Hobbes in all these letters, as if he were a pen-pal or something!"
Mom shrugged. "Well, he does have a bond with Hobbes- remember that time our home was broken into, and all he cared about was making sure he was still there? Or the time he left Hobbes out in the woods and was worried he'd be lost forever?"
"How could I forgot? YOU had me go out looking for him- Heck, you even CALLED him, like he was a lost dog or something!"
Mom blushed a bit. "Well, the way Calvin felt during that time, that's how the situation felt like. All I'm saying is, Calvin has had Hobbes for as long as I can remember- he never went anywhere without him, unless I told him there were certain places tiger's couldn't go, and always had him at his side." She looked over at the stuffed tiger, who had been sitting on the couch since the day they sent Calvin off to camp. "To tell the truth, he almost feels like part of the family,"
Dad put his arm around her. "I think you've been spending waaaay too much time with Calvin, honey."
Mom shot him a look. "That's because I'M the one who's always home to look after him, while YOU go to work! Seriously, all you do when you're home is read, mess with your bike, or make up stories to Calvin that causes him to run crying to me!"
Dad crossed his arms. "Oh yeah? Name one!"
Mom gave him a deadpanned look. "The whole 'Baby's Come From Sears' story, to start; How you always say that we're not getting a Christmas tree, or putting one up in the garage; And lets not forget how you told Calvin he was dropped down the chimney by a pterodactyl, rather than a stork; Oh, and you should remember how you told him how the world used to be in black and white-"
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT! Geez, you'd think no one would be so touchy about a parent having a bit of humor… Maybe that's why you're so stressed out, you hardly have any."
*WHAP!*
Mom had taken a pillow off the couch and creamed Dad with it. "Spend a week trying to find a babysitter to watch him for one night, THEN talk to me about stress, pal!" she then held up a fifth letter. "Speaking of which, one of the counselors wrote a specific letter, saying that Parents Day is coming up and they'd like us to visit so we can see their progress."
Dad rubbed his head, picking up his glasses and putting them back on. "Can't we just write back and say we'll be moving to Canada that day and won't be able to attend?"
Mom gave him a glare. "And I wonder where Calvin got the idea of us 'sending him to camp and moving'." She walked out of the room.
"It was a JOKE, dear!" Dad followed her.
Unbeknownst to them, Hobbes had been listening to their conversation. "It's any wonder those two haven't gotten a divorce," he said to himself. "Maybe because of Calvin- neither of them wants to get stuck alone with him."
He picked up the letters, reading them, and once he read the part about Althea (all the while silently making fun of Calvin's acquaintance with Sally), he rubbed his chin. So there's another tiger in the neighborhood, huh? Maybe I ought to look her up,he thought, then climbed off the couch, walking outside.
When Mom entered the living room and saw that Hobbes was missing, she scratched her head, confused. Wasn't he just there? Figuring Dad must have moved the tiger back upstairs or something on his way out of the room, she shrugged and thought nothing more of it.
Hobbes, in the meantime, walked down the block. It was lunchtime, and his stomach growled, reminding him that it was time to eat. Maybe Althea will have tuna or something she could share.He figured, and continued on until he paused- he didn't even know which house she lived in! Well, I got plenty of time before Calvin comes home, I'll just explore the block until I find it.
He circled the block, finding no clue that there was another tiger in the neighborhood, and sighed, walking home and to the creek he and Calvin always hung around. The tiger sat in the shade, listening to the silence of the afternoon. If this were a normal day, this would be the part where Calvin would either come walking or running up to me, and either lounge around with me or tell me about some mishap he got himself into. He thought, recalling a specific time when Calvin had come running to him for help after accidentally breaking his father's binoculars, and had to chuckle- the boy knew how to turn a quiet afternoon into a day of mayhem.
Hobbes let out a heavy sigh… the afternoon was TOO quiet without Calvin.
"Hey, furball, whatcha doing?" came a voice, and for a sheer moment of hope, Hobbes figured Calvin had returned.
When he looked over, however, all he saw was… another tiger! Female at that! From what he could tell, she was a white Bengal, the fur on her abdomen was a bit more puffy than his (giving her a female figure), she had long eyelashes, green eyes, and whiskers- long whiskers! And, for some reason, a batch of wild, red faux fur was sewn onto her head. Dear Lord above, it's my dream-tigress!Hobbes thought, his heart beating wild.
She scoffed, smirking. "You gonna say somethin', or sit there with your mouth hanging open?"
Hobbes shook his head, trying to keep it cool- though it had been a while since he hung out with any babes, but he wasn't going to let her know he was a bit rusty. "Sorry, it's just not every day an angel drops down from heaven," he said, suavely.
She gave him a glare. "Did you just call me a Fallen Angel?"
Hobbes' fur bristled in nervousness. "I take it that's not a good thing?"
"Not unless you come from a culture where comparing someone to Lucifer is a compliment, no."
"Well, I certainly didn't mean it like THAT! I was just trying to describe how beautiful you look!"
She gave a sarcastic thumbs-up. "Nice save, fuzzbrain."
"So… I take it you're Althea?"
"Who wants to know?"
Hobbes gave her a look, apparently not taking a liking to her attitude. "Well, me, for one. I'm Hobbes- I have a friend named Calvin who goes to camp with your friend, Sally. He wrote about it in one of his letters,"
Althea shrugged. "Meh, Sally mentioned him in her last letter too- said he's insane in the membrane, and wouldn't be surprised if the counselors had to sedate him. The little muffin-head sounds psychotic, the way she described him,"
"She should try living with him,"
Althea looked at a watch she had on her wrist. "Yeah, well, I'd love to stay and chat, Orange-Head, but there's a TV show I want to catch. See you around," with that, she left.
Hobbes watched her go, then walked back to the house, and couldn't help but think, Too bad Calvin isn't here- he'd have loved to meet Althea… after creaming her with a water-balloon.
He walked into the living room, looking out the window at the road. He thought about writing to Calvin about meeting Althea… but suddenly got a different idea on how to tell him about it.
0o0o0o0o0o0
Mom and Dad drove to the camp two days later, to meet with the counselors. "You think Calvin will be mad at us?" Mom asked, albeit nervous after the tone of her son's letter.
"I'm sure he'll be happy to see us." Dad assured, looking around at the camp. "This is a nice little camp, he's probably had a great time. A lot of kids must have fun here."
"MISTER!" came a shout- and suddenly, a psychotic twelve-year-old with blonde hair and blue eyes hit the windshield!
"AUGH!" Mom and Dad screamed, hitting the brakes.
"GET. ME. OUT. OF. HERE!"
"HEY!" One of the counselors shouted, grabbing the child. "I thought I told you to stay in your cabin!"
"BUT I'M NOT TWELVE! I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE! I'M THE CO-AUTHOR FOR LORD'S SAKE!"
Mom and Dad watched the psychotic… boy or girl (they couldn't tell)… get dragged off, only to run off with a boy wearing Transformers gear, pursued by counselors with nets… and decided it was probably best to keep the fourth wall (or what remained of it) stable and not bring it up, and kept driving until they parked in a row full of other cars where other parents parked.
Calvin suddenly hit the windshield. "OH THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE!" he screamed.
"YAH!" Mom and Dad cried out, hitting the brakes.
"QUICK! TURN AROUND AND FLOOR IT! GET OUT OF HERE WHILE YOU STILL CAN! TAKE ME HOME! SANCTUARY! SANCTUAAARRRRYYYYY!"
Dad stopped the car, then climbed out and pried Calvin off the windshield. "Calvin! For the love of… Get off the car!" he scolded, finally ripping his son off the window, and seeing he left a body-sized smudge on the glass. "It never fails… I just washed and waxed this thing!"
"Calvin, what's wrong?" Mom asked, only to get gripped by the shoulders by Calvin.
"WHAT'S WRONG?! Look around you, lady! This is Auschwitz! Don't be fooled by its beautiful scenery- THIS IS STEPHANIE MEYER'S DEN!" Calvin cried, then became calm and smiled. "Did you bring me anything?"
A counselor walked up to them, shaking their hands. "Hello, I'm Kevin. I'll be your guide for today," he said to them, and Calvin recognized him as the creepy man from the store, and was surprised Mom didn't scream and blind him with pepper-spray, from the way he was smiling. "Let me show you around."
Mom and Dad followed the counselor, and Calvin began to follow. "Pssst, Calvin!" a voice whispered.
Calvin spun around, eyes wide, smiling. "HOBBES!" he exclaimed, then gasped, covering his mouth. He snuck over to the car, where Hobbes had hidden in the back seat. "Hobbes, I can't believe you're here! I thought Mom and Dad didn't want you to come to camp with me!"
"They didn't. I snuck into the back seat this morning before they left." He climbed out of the car, looking around. "So, this is the seventh circle of the Jersey Shore set, huh?"
"Yeah, you won't BELIEVE what I've been through…"
"Already read the letters… especially the parts about you and Sally, woo-woo!"
"Oh, shut up, before I knock the stripes off ya! …Besides, shouldn't you be more concerned about setting a date with Althea?"
Hobbes' ears bent back. "Yeah. Not exactly the 'angel from heaven' I thought she would be… unless you'd call her a fallen angel, which she takes offense to. She kind of reminds me of you that way,"
Calvin rolled his eyes. "Very funny. C'mon, lets get out of here before my parents and that Freddy Krueger of a counselor comes back- as dense as they are, they won't know how horrible this place can be!"
Calvin and Hobbes snuck off through the camp. Considering most of the counselors were with everyone's parents, it was easy for them to sneak by, and they headed toward the lake. "Hey, you think there's an all-girl camp on the other side?" Hobbes whispered as they got into a canoe and paddled off.
"Hobbes, FOCUS," Calvin hissed.
"Unless there's a beach full of babes waiting on the other side, there's not much I can focus on."
Calvin shook his head- he could never understand why Hobbes liked girls so much, considering they were slimy, obnoxious, and weird with their likes of tea-parties, pretty dresses, and gossiping over which Disney guy was cuter. They never liked playing with weapons, or talking about secret plans during water-gun fights, or think about what it would be like if dinosaurs still walked the earth. Not to mention when boys grew up they got guns, cars, tools… while women just got clothes, cooking and cleaning supplies, and jewelry.
He was so focused on his gender-related thoughts that he didn't realize they reached the other side, until the canoe bumped up against a sandy shore. "Here's we start life on the lam," Calvin announced as they climbed out.
"Speaking of lambs, what did you bring for us to eat?" Hobbes asked.
Calvin pulled off the knapsack on his back, which he had packed ahead of time in the unlikely event his parents decided to take him home. "Lets see, I got that notebook you sent me, a couple extra clothes, some yarn from Lou's knitting kit, and a picture of wolves devouring the counselors that Derek had drawn- not really helpful, I just thought it looked cool." He rummaged deeper. "Rats, I forgot to pack snacks!"
Hobbes gave him an 'Are You Kidding Me?! We're Out Here With No Food, Are You Nuts?!' look. "How are we supposed to get far without any food?!"
"We'll survive longer on air than we would on the crap they serve at that place."
"Didn't they have cookies?"
"Yeah… until the counselors decided to ban them, thinking they were giving us 'too much sugar' and depriving us of real food."
They walked through a dense forest… and partway through, they saw a creepy pale boy with sparkling skin talking with an emo chick that no one in their right minds would be with… strangely enough, the author and co-author ran in and started beating the crap out of them. "Hey, isn't that-" Hobbes began to say.
"I don't see anything, keep walking." Calvin said quickly.
"But they're breaking the-"
"KEEP WALKING."
Hobbes shrugged, continuing on.
They walked for a few minutes, until they stopped under an oak tree to rest. "I think we put enough distance between us and that Psycho Segregation." Calvin said, leaning against the trunk. "Lets rest."
"Agreed," Hobbes said, sitting on a rock…
It sank down a little, turning out to be a switch, which activated a secret door… right beneath Calvin! "WHOA!" the six-year-old cried, falling through. As soon as he was out of sight, the door shut.
"Calvin? …Calvin!" Hobbes looked around. "Oh, crud, where'd he go now?!"
Calvin dropped down into a dark room. Where am I? What is this place?He thought, looking around. "Hobbes? Where are you?" he tried to call out, but his voice came out only as a whisper.
*Clang, clang, clang*
He heard the sound of metallic footsteps and ducked behind what he could guess was some metal box, and watched as two robots walked down the pathway… dragging one of the campers, Lou! "Please, I didn't mean to start a fight! I was just sick of that bully making fun of me!" he was sobbing. The robots, however, didn't listen, and hooked him up to a strange machine. "No, let me go! You've already taken enough…!"
Taken enough of what…?Calvin wondered, watching in horror as a robot connected wires to Lou's head, the boy struggling with all his might.
"Please! I won't cause any more trouble! Just let me go home…!"
"SILENCE!" came a raspy shout, and Calvin felt as if he had heard it before. "You had your chance, Louis. But no, that whole namby-pamby charade you tried to pull couldn't mask the true delinquent you are!"
"There's no mask! I'm really g- AUGH!"
Calvin watched in terror, as Lou's body thrashed with the electric convulsions, and that's when he noticed the machine, with its flashing lights and radiating gizmos- far more advanced than any machine he built from a cardboard box! But he couldn't tell whether it was sucking out Lou's mind, or just electrocuting him, or reenacting a scene from Frankenstein. He saw there was another figure hooked to the machine, but couldn't quite make out his face…
The lights died down, and the robots unhooked Lou from the table, and Calvin noticed something wasn't right. Lou was alive… but looked as if someone just told him his parents died and his cat ran away. There was no glint in his eyes, no smile, and no sign of emotion. "Now, go to the holding cells, and a robot will take your place… If you object, we can gladly hook you up again." The figure rasped.
"Yes, sir. Whatever you say." Lou replied, having a droned-out tone.
Calvin watched as he walked past him, not looking scared, not panicking about what the robot they'll replace him with will do… heck, he didn't even look like he was wondering what was to become of him from that point on!
His heart began to race. He didn't know what this place was, or what was going on- he just knew one thing.
He had to get out of here, now!
0o0o0o0o0o0o0
This Chapter was Mainly Wrtiten by WG
Yeah Thanks WG for helping this story get MUCH farther!
SO we are nearing the Climax or something close/ like the Climax remember R&R…..plz I feel lonely with out Reviews. And no flames..OR I EAT YOU!