Death: Yes, I'm sorry for the long wait. Some personal drama, school, and the loss of my baby (my cat), have done nothing in my already stressed life. Also, I have also introduced a new story...I may regret this later. But, I will do my best with updating everything I can.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The song Comatose is by Skillet. Finally, finally I have used a song from Skillet. Expect more, for to me their songs suit well with Death Note in my opinion.

Chapter 8 – Comatose

=3=

Many would say nobody can ever live a wonderful life without love. Loving someone, and thus being loved equally in return. At such words Light could only laugh. Some would assume that he was a sociopath if anyone could read his thoughts on the matter of love.

He understood the concept, and he wasn't completely heartless. He did love his parents and sister, after all. But Light considered such emotions as an impossible feat for someone other than his family. People were disposable, and thus, relationships were too. These views of romance first took place when his parents' met a violent and sudden end that left his heart cold and bitter. Separation from his sister didn't help matters, either.

Although L helped speed up the recovery process and Mu's persistence to help keep the boy in line, Light still felt cold about the thought of love. Despite him being more open and interactive in the orphanage, Light held everyone within an arm's length (Mu being the only exception). He didn't become emotionally involved with anyone, for the scar of his parents' death left him weary and perhaps a little paranoid.

The orphanage is an innocent, somewhat happy atmosphere. Underneath that mask anyone can betray and stab you in the back down the road. Beyond Birthday is a perfect example of this. Yes, he was rude and maybe a little crazy towards other children (in Light's eyes, B was completely insane long before he left), but it was clear he was fond of Whammy's. The proof was simply through his actions.

If B wanted to, he could've leaked information about Whammy's actual goal and the whole world would come running to destroy or take over the orphanage by force. This act of monstrosity would've certainly harmed L the most, emotionally wise. And yet B didn't do a thing either because he was fond of the place, or he was focusing too much on destroying L that harming Whammy's didn't cross his mind, it was hard to speculate.

Of course if he did have some affection towards Whammy's, Light could relate to a certain degree. Although he didn't like it here in the orphanage, over the years he had grown to appreciate how this place offered every child equally and without the stress that accompanies regular schools. Well, for the most part anyway (him being appointed as L's first choice without his consent or knowledge set his trust in them back a few notches).

And as the place was finally starting to grow on Light, he noticed some small changes. Nothing too drastic, but enough or him to notice perhaps he's not entirely cold and bitter anymore. As time flew by Light was more accepting of the idea of thinking of Near as a little brother, for whether he liked it or not the pale boy grew on him.

At most times he found Near annoying. The boy was blunt and not afraid to express his thoughts when confronted with someone he truly held respect for. Light happened to be one of the few who gained both Near's trust and respect. He saw firsthand the quiet boy was never to be underestimated despite his appearance and attitude. And although Light despised the toys (he couldn't say how many times he injured toes or stepped on them on his way to the bathroom), he knew there was no effective method to change Near, for the toys were like a safety blanket for him.

All in all, Light didn't think after Mu had left he'd ever see anyone else as a brother. Although they were important enough to be considered as brothers, his thoughts and interactions between the two were different. Mu was the responsible affectionate older brother keeping him in line, while Near was the younger brother who needed his protection.

And through the change of interactions and actions, Light began to wonder if his thoughts of romance were perhaps a little off. Light has started to think maybe he should reconsider love, and if he was presented the chance of experimenting with relationships he might take it. However, there was one small challenge that prevented him from giving anymore exploration of this.

Light wasn't quite sure what his interests into other people were. He didn't know if he even preferred women, men, or both. However, as a perfectionist Light has quite an eye for beautiful things. Although beauty was one thing, personality is an entirely different matter altogether. From his distaste for the bratty children, Light could at least say he didn't go for the clingy or hyper type.

This was all he could narrow down. Light had spent many nights (when he wasn't studying), deep in thought on what he would prefer in someone he could call his partner. Despite all his various angles of looking at different people, Light couldn't get any more specific on his required tastes in another person.

So, Light began to question what he liked in other categories. Did he like cute things? A little, he did have a soft spot (not that he'd admit it out loud) for stuffed animals, preferably cute plushies. Did he like sweets? Perhaps on a special occasion like holidays, but never more than that. Light had a taste for spices. Even so, Light had begun to tolerate sweetness thanks to Mello, and the bitter dark chocolate was gradually become a favorite of his.

Did he enjoy sports? Not for a career, but Light did have an interest in tennis and martial arts. Did he like politics? Not entirely. Light remained up to date, but more for the study of psychology to better understand the minds of people. Politicians are overly sensitive and rather easy study subjects for him. What of religion? Light had an interest in what could be out there, but his mind being too logical, there weren't any he could grasp and remain loyal to.

And most important, what did he think of justice? Light believed that the justice system was not entirely perfect, but there was a reason why L was around in the first place. Through his vigilante status, as L said himself some years before, the justice system (or systems) was more efficient to society. So, as long as L or his successors were around, then justice would be just fine in his opinion.

Basically, he was a tad loose about the ideas of the justice systems. However, that didn't mean his ideals he learned and valued from his father was still there. He couldn't really push those aside when his admiration for Soichiro were the stepping stones of his life.

So with all of these qualities he liked within himself, maybe he would meet someone who has the same interests as him. As long as he kept these interests within mind, Light would perhaps meet that someone someday.

But Light wasn't completely sure if he would ever experience true love. For, what is love based on lies on his identity? He would never reveal his true name, or else he would end up in a casket six feet under. Even sadder no one would show up for his funeral and leave him flowers. His true name would never be known, or held ever held dearly in anyone's heart.

Light didn't know which was worse. Not having anyone whispers his name lovingly, or it wouldn't be held dear to someone in their heart when the time for him to leave this world comes.

=3=

He felt warm, his limbs heavy, body and mind seemed content to just lie in this warmth. And yet something was nagging in the back of his mind that he shouldn't miss this day. With great reluctance, Light stirred from his slumber. His eyes fluttered open, and then closed as the sun beat down onto him through the windows.

Opening them once more, Light began to have a better feel of his surroundings. The first thing he noticed was the source of the warmth was not just the sun, but a small body curled up to his side. Blindly reaching over Light recognized the soft curls of his roommate, lying with his head against his side and tiny feet currently taking residence on the other side of his pillow.

This knowledge brought a smile to his face. An odd position to fall asleep, but he didn't object. Light slowly sat up, finding his body covered in dry sweat and his hair in disarray. He felt disgusting, and a much needed shower was in order.

Being careful not to disturb Near, for the pale boy appeared even more tired than usual, Light swung his legs over the side of the bed. Just when he was about to stand, he paused when something else caught his attention. From the corner of his eye he noticed something white and black on the bedside table. One glance over he nearly did a double take.

There, sitting upright with a small envelope with a card being held by what could be the very same panda bear he had given to L so many years ago. In utter amazement Light reached over to the stuffed animal with one hand, the other went for the envelope.

Upon further examination the teen realized that this was, in fact, the very same panda. From the pink tongue sticking out, to the red scarf decorating its neck, it was indeed the stuffed animal that he kept as a keepsake of his family, and then handed over to L nearly a month after he was brought here.

This last thought made him frown in thought. Did this mean L was here? Or was this sent over by mail? No, it couldn't be by mail otherwise it'd be inside a box, not sitting on the bedside table.

Gently setting the panda down Light turned the envelope over and pulled out a card. To his surprise it was a birthday card. This further confused him, why would a birthday present be sent now? His birthday wasn't until the twenty–eighth. Opening it up, Light began to read.

Happy Birthday.

I have heard you haven't been feeling appreciated on your birthday the past years since your stay. So I thought maybe perhaps I should start making it up to you? When you're ready, you know where to find me.

Oh, and would you please bring the boys along with you? There's something I have to tell all four of you.

P.S. Thank you for what you've done for N. I knew you had a good heart.

- Ryuzaki.

Light blinked several times. For one, the card wasn't typed at all. If L was to give an order or anything at all, he would type it by email or paper. This was handwritten, and in the most perfect handwriting he had ever seen. Light had to read the content of the card about two more times in order to fully comprehend the words.

He found it a little surprising that L wanted to make up for his boring birthdays. What puzzled him was exactly how the detective knew about his birthday, for never once did the teen complain about it. And the fact L was here, actually here and wanting to see him and the other three brought a bright smile on his face.

And L was actually thanking him for his good deed. Light was finally being appreciated for what he did.

When the meaning of the message registered in his head, Light almost jumped up with a scream. But he remembered he had a roommate, one who was still sleeping in fact. So instead the teen smiled widely, carefully setting the panda on the bed and the card on the bedside table and made his way to the bathroom.

'He's back. He's really back!' For whatever reason he could not fathom Light felt giddy all over his body.

=3=

Near awoke to the sound of running water from the shower. Lazily sitting up the boy yawned. By the looks of the light outside, he had slept in. Couldn't be bothered, for he had very little sleep the past week. And with the shower running, it would be good to assume that the fever had broken and the elder teen was feeling much better. Kin had been bedridden during the entire time he was ill, and not completely in the right mind to even move either.

The pale boy tilted his head when his eyes set on an unfamiliar object on the bed. A panda plushie lay there, on the spot where Kin had fallen asleep. Out of curiosity and his interest in toys of any kind, Near pulled the stuffed animal into his lap for a better examination.

The plushie was incredibly soft to the touch, and the pink tongue protruding from its mouth brought a rare and small smile from the boy. Near didn't know which was cuter, the red scarf or the pink tongue that gave the round fluffy face a more childish expression.

It dawned on him then that the plushie wasn't here the night before, or anytime at all. So, when did it arrive here? And exactly who put it here? It couldn't have been Mello, that blond was rude and went about with so much noise Near would've woken up when the panda was placed into the shared bedroom.

Matt was also out of the question, for wherever the gamer went Mello merely followed. Plus Matt didn't have any taste for toys such as this, his love for video games were so great Near could relate, for he too loved games. But the games he was best at were puzzles, not virtual ones.

However, now remembering what day it was, Near realized that the panda was supposed to represent. Today was his roommate's birthday. Well that solved why there was a random panda in their room.

Near examined their surroundings, and found a birthday card sitting on top of the bedside table. He didn't get a chance to read it, though. For just when he was contemplating whether or not to reach for the birthday card his roommate exited the bathroom.

"Hey, you're awake." Kin said as he used one of the towels to dry his hair.

"And you're doing well, after a whole week of fever induced trauma. You've been completely out of it the entire time." Near replied not so sympathetically to his roommate.

"Wait…what? It's been an entire week? Are you serious?" The teen blinked several times at the pale boy.

"Do I look like I'm the type to joke? Your fever had been so bad I had to remain cooped up with you in this room until you were healthy again. And I have to say, it was pretty traumatizing. You kept babbling on about some pretty dark stuff." Near said, and then adding indifferently. "Oh, and happy birthday. I suppose this is your present from someone?"

The pale boy reluctantly held up the panda. Yes, Near had a dozen or so robots, toy soldiers, action figures, but he had never owned stuffed animals. In an orphanage such toys didn't last very long, for the younger children always fought over them and more often than not the very object they were fighting over was torn to pieces. Near didn't bother requesting a stuffed animal for Christmas or any other special occasion, in fear Mello would destroy the unfortunate toy. But this panda was just so cute.

He must resist the cuteness.

As if sensing the boy's internal distress, Kin raised an eyebrow.

"Why, are you jealous?" The teen laughed at the deep frown of his roommate.

"Oh, relax, will you? If you want, you can have it. But! You have to promise to take real good care of it, all right? It's something special." Kin smiled – yes, smiled – and not one of those fake smiles, either.

Near briefly wondered if the fever had reversed his roommate's behavior. Then again, there was the talk of his greatest fears and how he thought of the pale boy as his little brother, so Near didn't know exactly what to think of the complete one eighty of his roommate.

Oh, what the heck. Near was being given his first stuffed animal.

"Well, if you insist then thank you." The younger boy held the panda closer to his chest.

"You're welcome. And by the way, once I'm done changing we need to go find Mello and Matt. I was planning of keeping it a surprise, but I guess it's all right to say it. L is here and he's requesting I bring the three of you to his room."

At the last bit of information Near blinked, eyes widening even more if it were possible. Just the night before the elder teen had been going on how he wished for the potentials to meet L in person, and now it was coming true? What a birthday this had turned out to be.

Then the words sank in. L was going to see them. L was going to see them! The L, the one and only world detective! Near was very well about to get off the bed and do a little victory dance. But due to his ego (yes, even a quiet boy genius such as him has pride issues), and among other reasons only he would know, Near simply stood up and patiently waited for his roommate to finish changing.

Near could hardly contain his excitement.

Just as Kin had finished buttoning his shirt their door opened. Startled, both boys turned to see Mello and Matt strolling in rather rudely. Well, the blond was being rude, which no one could really expect less from him. Matt just happened to be on his tail playing with his Nintendo DS.

"Hey! Looks like you're all well, again. Good! Guess what happened to us just an hour ago?" Mello grinned widely.

"Hey, have you ever been told you need to knock on the door before entering someone else's bedroom? If you happened to come in a few minutes before, I'd be in nothing but a towel." The eldest boy scowled.

"Oh? That would've been one sexy sight." The blond snickered.

"You know, the one thing I wished on this day, was that you learn some manners. Oh well, I guess having Ryuzaki back will make up for that. I have been waiting for what, five, maybe six years? Now that you two are here, let's go already!" Kinship grabbed his roommate's wrist and walked on past the other two on the way out.

"Hey, wait! How'd you know about Ryuzaki?" Mello yelled, quickly following them. Matt more or less sighed as he folded his portable game before sprinting after the others.

"It's supposedly my birthday, remember? I got a present from him!" Kin answered as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"For your information, it is your birthday! You just happened to be a week behind thanks to that damn fever of yours, Kin!" The blond shouted back.

"Uh, Kin…" The smallest boy was struggling to keep up the pace without tripping over his pajama bottoms.

"Oh, oops, sorry Near." The teen slowed down considerably for his roommate but still lead the way.

"Hey, is it just me, or is Kin acting differently?" Mello leaned over to whisper in his friend's ear.

"It could be just an after effect from the fever." Matt whispered back.

"What are you guys whispering about?" Kin glanced over his shoulder.

"Nothing!" Both boys piped at the same time.

"Nothing what?" A different voice spoke.

All four boys stopped where they were in the hallway. They stared in surprise at the thin man before them, shoulders hunched and just about to leave the room.

Kin was the most surprised of the four. It had been about six years since he's last seen the detective. L had grown. His limbs were longer and he was now the height of an average man. Or at least he would be, if his hunched shoulders and back didn't hinder his height.

His hair was much of the same. Wild and stood in random directions. Now that he was older, L's hair seemed thicker than it was when they first met. And for some reason, Light had the strange urge to run his hands through the dark mass of wild hair.

Ignoring this random impulse, the teen lowered his gaze to L's eyes. Light felt a swell of pride in his chest that he was right about Near's eyes being nothing at all like L's. His pale roommate had grey eyes, and when under a certain light they would appear to be a near black. But L's eyes, they were so dark they could only be black. They weren't soulless or blank, if no one knew what to look for that is. No, these eyes drew Light in like a bug to a lamp.

When they didn't answer, Ryuzaki pressed again.

"Well, am I going to get an answer?" The elder man tilted his head.

"We…we weren't talking about anything!" Mello quickly turned to his roommate. "Isn't that right, Matt?"

"What he said."

Ryuzaki sent them a hard stare, unbelieving a word they said.

"I find this hard to believe, and I have to say that you may try to fool me once, but do it again and there will be repercussions. Kin–kun had learned this, didn't you? Although, I did let you off easy, since you happened to be recovering from a nervous breakdown." Ryuzaki grinned at the scowl he roused from the teen.

"You know, for what started as a good birthday, you kinda just ruined it." Kin deadpanned.

"Did I? Well I have been told that I'm horrible at socializing, I was hoping I'd be better at it by the time I met you again. Guess I still need some work, done." L frowned at the conclusion.

"Anyway, you wanted all four of us here, didn't you? So what's this all about?" Light decided to be kind and change the subject for them.

"Oh, yes. Please, follow me into my humble room. I am sorry to say it will be a bit crowded, but there should be enough space to accommodate all of us. I wanted to give an extra surprise for Kin–kun, but what I propose will also be given to the rest of you as well. Please make yourselves at home." L led the way in and sat in a chair, knees up to his chest.

For old memories sake, Light sat on a corner of the big bed. Out of nervousness, Near crawled to the front end of the bed, a little behind his roommate. L, who had begun eating his tower of sugar cubes, paused upon seeing the pale boy cuddling with the panda bear to his chest.

'This is surprising. Kin–kun must have grown a bigger heart since last time. But at fifteen now, he's bound to believe that it's a matter of keeping up a good appearance and gave it to Near. Or perhaps he gave it to him for the same reason he gave the panda to me, by a means of comfort? It would certainly explain his attachment to the plushie.' L brushed the pondering theories to the side as the other two boys settled down in chairs next to the bed.

"So, what'd ya wanna talk to us about?" Mello stared at the detective with a tilt of his head and snatching his hidden chocolate from his pocket.

Despite his rudeness, L answered anyway.

"First, I apologize for all of this unnecessary drama that all four of you have endured. I am especially sorry for you, Kin–kun, when you've done a good deed and was otherwise punished. I know, by coming here, I can at least try to amend what you've been through. And for this reason, I am removing you as my first choice as my heir."

Light blinked, surprise clearly shown through. He had clearly did not expect any of this.

"However, you are still being given this chance to come with me and the three boys as part of their training. As I have yet to come to a decision between Near and Mello, I would be willing to grant them hands on training. And with Matt around we would get a lot more work done. He is excellent in computers, and very well with hacking. We could use his talents, and in turn he is trained along with Near and Mello." L spoke right to the point.

"So, what am I supposed to be doing then?" Light furrowed his eyebrows.

"You'll be helping me train them, of course. I know you're four to five years older than them, but you have so much potential you'd be able to reason with them more than I would. Also, you boys knew each other more than I do, so in a way you're the bridge between the boys and I as we adjust to this new life."

The teen frowned slightly at the idea. He did not want to sit around and teach these boys. He wouldn't mind doing anything for Near, and Matt would be all right. The problem was Mello.

"All right, so I'll be the over stressed mother of this whole family, then what's in it for me?" Light crossed his arms.

L blinked as he tilted his head. "I thought it'd be obvious, even to you Kin–kun."

The teen only raised an eyebrow in question.

"Freedom. You'll be granted to be free of this place. And not only that, but you and I will be able to spend more time together and catch up over lost time. I know you've never truly accepted this place as your home. And I admit, it has taken me this long to come to terms with such knowledge."

Light's heart literally skipped a few beats at the words. This strange act of kindness from the world's greatest detective was everything that he needed to hear. These words were like a breath of fresh air that his body and mind had been deprived of for many years. It was as if he had finally been given the chance to live, to really live.

And with a smile graced from the heavens, Light agreed.

"Very well, I'll accept this gift of yours. Why wouldn't I? You're my friend, and I've been waiting for six years you bastard. I simply wanted you to say exactly what I needed to hear. And on that note, your apology is accepted. However, you still owe me for making me wait."

'When have I been so possessive of him? It's only been six years. But, I did miss him. And he did make me wait. So…why do I feel like I sound like some love struck girl? Wait…'

Light began to compare the qualities he kept note of for any potential interests to L. Did this man like cute things? It would seem so, he accepted the panda without question or out of pity. And now that he thought about it, he did say L reminded him of a panda. Panda's were cute, so didn't that technically mean L was cute too?

Did L like sweets? Insanely so. He lived on nothing but sweets. In fact, the man was eating raw sugar cubes right now! Light moved on to the next quality. Did L like sports? That was hard to tell, the man was so thin. Perhaps there should be further study for this answer.

Light knew L had some interest in politics. He had to, for as L, he'd be playing the strings with the politicians as his puppets if he wanted to. As men were corrupted and easily fell into temptation, Light wouldn't be surprised that many politicians were the culprits of heinous crimes such as theft and abusing their power to the fullest.

The teen didn't really need to cover the justice quality. He used the basics of L's own justice for one of his own, with the addition of his father's thought process of justice. Although it was a strange mix, Light wasn't all too bothered with the way L handled cases or how picky he was when files were presented to him.

All in all, L fit the qualities Light liked within himself. But that didn't mean he, dare he say, love L right? No, that couldn't be right. Yet, why did he feel a pang in his chest at that thought? He shouldn't be feeling this way. Or perhaps he was simply in denial about all of this?

'Forget it. This is neither the time nor place to ponder such ideas. First I have to conduct further study about all of this. Right now, I'll just pretend I didn't just think of all of this.'

If possible, the pain in his chest intensified, if only a little bit. Light quickly pushed his feelings aside.

L smiled in return. "I'm glad our friendship has remained all these years. And for the rest of you, what do you say?"

"I accept." Near tightened the hold on the panda to his chest as he raised his spare hand.

"Ryuzaki, I've been itching to get outta this hellhole for the past two years. Now I won't be so bored anymore with so many challenges. Perhaps I don't have to bully Near or pick a fight with Kin anymore, but who knows? I'm not making any promises, though." Mello snickered as he took a bite of his chocolate.

"Not that I'd expect you to make any promises anyway. What about you, Matt?"

The redhead tilted his head, considering for a few moments. Matt then shrugged without care.

"Sure, it'd be boring without Mello around. I need my source of entertainment, too you know."

"Good, we've all come down to an agreement. We'll move out starting the day after tomorrow. Meanwhile, I've brought cake since today is Kin–kun's birthday." L spoke with enthusiasm.

'Day after tomorrow? How'd he know I would agree?' Then the answer hit Light like a slap in the face.

It's because this man was L, as simple as that.

=3=

Death: Finally! Some love is in the air! Or at least the very beginning. This is all based on my own love for someone, which I shall keep hidden from the special someone. Anyway, I wanted to portray that when in love, denial comes first. Even for a boy genius.

1) Hopefully I get this in time before the date changes, but this was supposed to be finished for Light's birthday. So, happy birthday Kira!

Please click the lovely review button~!