Death: Excuse me for the wait for you guys. Had some trouble finishing this chapter, but I'm happy how it turned out. I also had trouble figuring out what song to use for the title of this chapter. I first wanted to call it with this song, but then I started looking around for something else. When I got tired of searching, I used my iPod to choose for me. And, well, I guess Alumina was going to be the title no matter what xD
Disclaimer: It's what I've been trying to say for the past eight chapters. I own nothing.
The song Alumina by Nightmare. Yes, it is the ending of Death Note Season 1.
Chapter 9 – Alumina
=3=
Since his acceptance into Whammy's House, Light had felt as if he were in chains. Figuratively speaking, of course, since he had the option of wandering the orphanage's property and enjoy what little warmth the sun had to offer. Really, it was colder here than it was in Japan. As to why he felt he was in chains, well, it could be that he wasn't allowed to venture outside of the gates.
Yes, the property was big enough for a good sized garden, and a greenhouse to top it off, but that was it. At some point there had been a second building here on the property, which used to be a church. But due to a fire, whether it was by accident or intentional Light didn't know, the church was no longer there. He guessed the matters around the burning of the church was leaning more on intentional, if no one bothered to inform him of the cause.
Anyway, the real problem Light had with the orphanage was that he couldn't get rid of the feeling he was being trapped. Having a garden around was good and all, but after a certain amount of time it became rather boring. Light wanted to explore the town they were in, since he was given only two chances to see Winchester.
The first chance was when he had been escorted by Watari to the orphanage. Although half the time he was sleeping, he did manage to catch a few glimpses. With those few glimpses of the surrounding area, all Light could think it was completely different from the bustling streets of Tokyo. It made him curious enough that he wanted to give this new place a chance when he arrived.
The second chance was when he had finally been given an opportunity to leave the property without sneaking. Roger offers everyone a chance to go and experience church on sundays. No one is forced to go if they don't want to. After all, the orphanage takes in children from around the world with different religions and cultures.
At the time Light was given the chance, he had been itching to get out and explore. He grew up in one of the busiest cities of Japan, Light was too used to walking about in society than being cooped up in a small amount of space. All of these rules were taken seriously by Roger and the rest of the staff was just too foreign to him. In Japan, he could walk around without worry of being abducted. In fact, in given time he could have taken the bus and subway all by himself.
But he wasn't in Japan, but in England now. Some changes were hard for him to adjust to, besides his disinterest to interact with others. The second time Light had been given a chance to see Winchester he didn't have a great opportunity to take in the surrounding areas. Roger didn't allow the children a chance to stop and stare as they walked along. And once they were sitting in the church, Light thought, maybe he could get used to the idea of only coming here just for an excuse to leave the orphanage.
Then the priest spoke.
Being the critical thinker that he was, everything went downhill from there. He was eight, he couldn't hold back the snickers, the glares, or the increasing urge to throw something at the priest. Preferably he wanted to throw one of the bibles that were meant for children at the strange man. When the priest had enough of being patient, he paused and politely inquired what was wrong with him.
Thinking he didn't need to lie (he was in a church, after all), Light proceeded on explaining and questioning the flaws of the Holy Bible and anything else related to church. Flabbergasted, the priest couldn't reply as the boy continued on speaking. No one else could raise a finger at the boy, for they were too shocked or embarrassed to intervene.
But when Light started about Heaven and Hell, everyone couldn't hold back the gasps or the harsh whispers. He wasn't bothered at all, though. Light continued to pester the baffled priest. Finally having enough, and probably regained enough composure to put a stop to this, Roger stood up. With a gentle hand on Light's shoulder, he apologized to everyone for the interruption. Roger then requested one of the staff members escort Light back to the orphanage.
Light had been scolded heavily on his actions from just about everyone. And from that day on he was prohibited from leaving the grounds, never to be invited to the church again. Not that he cared, anyway. He could never fully grasp the idea of religion. His over analyzed mind wouldn't allow him to take the leap of faith. But his actions cut off the only chance he could meet society.
He hated himself over it. Why couldn't he keep his mouth shut, just for once? Light knew, though, that it wouldn't work out anyway. It was better to speak than to snap and throw the children's bible at the priest. Speaking wasn't considered assault, at least back then which was what he believed anyway.
The only chance he could ever see cities was to graduate and become a letter. By being assigned a letter, he'd be one of L's direct subordinates. Therefore Light would be given the chances to work on cases and explore the world. He'd been cooped up for so long he didn't care where he went, so long as Light could just become part of society, any society. It didn't matter too much to him, he just wanted out.
This was one of the reasons why he gave his best at the orphanage. He spent countless hours in the library studying nearly five chapters ahead than the rest of the class. Light had been that determined. Even if he couldn't become a letter, there was still the forensic art department he had grown an increasing interest in. He thought that maybe, if was really good at this, then L would consider him to help on some cases.
Light had planned on nearly everything on what he wanted to do with his life.
And then his longtime roommate had moved, with L's second choice as his heir taking Mu's place. With Near came the news of Light named as L's first choice. Everything had come crashing down, the ground crumbling under his feet. This wasn't what he wanted. L was a treasured friend, to know he'd be taking his place if something happens – such as L dying for example – Light couldn't live with that.
So he simply rebelled. Certainly he could've done something better than not showing up for classes, but it was the only effective method he could think of that would most likely lead to not so drastic matters. One of which, the worst case scenario was that L would be forced to break away from his work to visit only because Roger couldn't handle the situation. If it came down to that, it would've been the first time L would put his foot down on one of the children of the orphanage.
Light would've been the laughing stock. It was only a matter of pride that he managed the straight face as he continued to do whatever he wanted while still maintaining perfect scores. Besides, so long as he showed up on important tests and pass them with straight A's, then he saw no real problem
The plan took a year to take full effect, but he finally had a result. Light was removed as L's first choice. Even better he was given a chance of freedom and be part of L's team as they solve cases around the world. This turned out to be a not so bad birthday after all.
'Freedom. You'll be granted to be free of this place.'
Yes, finally the suffocating cage that imprisoned Light had finally been opened. Light now had hope for achieving his original goals, before all of this unnecessary drama happened. He could now leave this boring orphanage and see the world he so wished to explore. If anything, Light secretly wished to eventually come to Japan, his home. He had been granted to be free and sometime in the future he can go home.
Freedom. The very word echoed in his head, with L's soft spoken voice. The word – no, the way L had simply spoken it – left little tingles up and down his spine. The feeling wasn't annoying, but Light couldn't really appreciate the strange sensations either. The tingling was like how a foot would be when it fell asleep, only it didn't leave his back numb or tense. Also, Light didn't know of a case where someone had suffered from their back falling asleep like a foot would.
In fewer words, Light didn't know why this was happening. He could analyze all the facts, but the answer eluded his sharp mind. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't reach the conclusion. Light's inability to come to one was what really irritated him to no end.
He was perfect, he always found the answer. Light had considered all the angles of how to find the answer he sought, and he still didn't understand why. Light Yagami, Kinship, was supposed to be the perfect image of a fifteen – no, the perfect human on earth – he shouldn't be held up because of some simple issue of a tingling feeling in his back.
Light blamed everything on his musings over whether or not there might be something between him and L. Ever since he doubted such thoughts was when it all went downhill for him.
Wait a minute…
Could this be the conclusion Light had sought after?
Well, Light did agree with himself that he was willing to study further on the requirements of L, or anyone for that matter, as a potential relationship. But, if he did reach his answer from this study, what then? If L did indeed reach these requirements, then what sort of relationship will happen, if L accepted him at all?
Will it be a romantic one, as seen in all of the stories and movies, or will it be a 'friends with benefits' thing? For some reason, the latter part left a pang in his chest that Light could not explain. This can't be right.
Light was torn. He wanted to follow his logic, and put everything aside and believe there was nothing going on. And yet his intuition, which had brought him luck thus far, told him otherwise. Which was he supposed to follow? For the second time in his entire life, Light was truly and utterly lost.
As the prideful young man he was, he desperately wanted to believe all of this was nonsense.
An image of L smiling fondly at him entered his mind.
'I'm glad our friendship has remained all these years.'
So then…
… Why did his heart flutter at those words? Why couldn't he erase that particular smile out of his head?
Why…?
=3=
His birthday wasn't jotted down as his happiest, but it was definitely the most memorable. And if he were to compare, it would've been close to what was the happiest birthday with his parents when he had been four years old with cute animals as the theme. The only reason his fifteenth couldn't go beyond the four year old level was, well, to simply put…
Mello.
Granted, Light had witnessed Mello at his worst of behaviors. But the moment he set eyes on the cake L had chosen for Light, the blond nearly ravished half it. Then the Mello proceeded to be rude and insult the teen at every chance he could. For the most part Light didn't give into the temptation of punching Mello in the face. He simply allowed himself to take a deep breath, and continued whatever conversation he had with L or Near.
Well, that was until Mello went too far.
Light was doing his best with conversing with L when it happened.
"Kin, you're a coward."
Mello started laughing. Light hated being laughed at. On top of that, the blond had just insulted him. The air thickened with such intensity everyone residing within the room knew what was going to happen.
Before L had the chance to stop the teen, Light had already flung across the room towards the blond. Mello shrieked, having realized too late he was under attack. He didn't even have enough time to defend himself when the punch landed square in the jaw.
Mello fell to the floor with a pained groan. Light was about to land another punch when thin arms suddenly wrapped around his waist and pulled him away. Thinking the arms belonged to Matt the teen struggled against the other and elbowed the other's stomach.
He heard a pained grunt, but the arms around his waist didn't loosen. Frustrated the teen half turned to face his captor. Honey brown eyes widened when he met obsidian black. Light's heart skipped a few beats, even speeding up in a wild rhapsody of horror. Whether he was frightened because he happened to be in L's lap and held tight against the detective's chest, or because he had just assaulted the man, Light didn't have the time to ponder which was the reason why.
The teen only knew one thing, which was he's frightened from being held like this. What was worse was that he could feel blood rushing to his cheeks. Since when did he ever become flustered? Light was supposed to have the best poker face in the orphanage!
With that in mind, the teen began to struggle again.
"Let me go, Ryuzaki!"
"Your heart is beating too fast. Are you sure you are all right, Kin–kun?" L tightened his hold while settling his chin on top of the teen's shoulder.
Light nearly shuddered at how close their faces were. If he hadn't been struggling, he most likely would have.
"I said let me go!"
"Not until Kin – kun calms down."
Light almost cursed aloud. The teen angrily pouted and settled with glaring daggers at the blond. Mello cringed a little from the intense hatred showing through those eyes. Boy, if looks could kill, the blond would surely be dead by now.
'But the way Kin reacted when L held him, one would think he's got something for L.' The blond thought. Maybe he should ask Matt later. He would most likely know.
"Matt, would you be so kind as to escort Mello out of the room? I believe he still has some cleaning to do around the orphanage. He will need to finish cleaning by the time we're leaving the day after tomorrow." L spoke as if Mello wasn't even in the room.
"But…!" The blond was too flabbergasted to come up with an excuse to defend himself.
The teen snorted. It took every ounce of his control not to laugh at Mello's expense.
"Now would be most preferable, if you would please."
Matt simply nodded. He knelt by Mello and helped his roommate up to his feet.
"C'mon Mells, it's about time we're supposed to leave anyway."
Amazingly Mello only complied without a complaint. He didn't even look back with a glare of his own as h followed Matt out. When the pair left did L finally unwound his arms around the teen's waist. Light quickly scooted away and stood up.
"Let's go, Near." The teen held out his hand to the pale boy.
Blinking in surprise, Near accepted the outstretched hand anyway.
As they were about to leave a hand caught Light's wrist. Surprised, the teen sent a questioning gaze at the detective. L simply stared back with a blank expression.
"Kin?" Near questioned.
"I apologize, Near, but I'm going to need to borrow your roommate for a few minutes." Funny, he didn't sound sympathetic.
The pale boy didn't buy Ryuzaki's tone. Near felt the uncertainty rise as he turned to gaze up at Kin.
Light sent his roommate a reassuring smile. No one else would believe it, but he could tell the pale boy was worried enough for his emotions to show through his mask.
"Don't worry, Near. I'll be there in a few minutes to help you pack."
Reluctantly the pale boy silently nodded. He eyed Ryuzaki for a few seconds, and he turned around and left. When the door closed L released the captive wrist.
Light raised an eyebrow in question.
'This better not be about my attack on Mello. I've held onto my anger for as long as I could.'
"You may sit, if you'd like. There are a few things I wish to talk to you without the boys here." L answered as if the teen had actually spoken and took his seat where he was before he broke up the fight.
This sounded serious, so maybe he should sit down. Light adjusted one of the chairs so he could face L from across the table and sat. For a brief moment he realized the table was the very same one he and L played chess on. Light almost smiled at the memory, but the serious expression on the detective's face ruined the moment.
"So…what did you want to talk to me about?"
"For starters I suppose I should say that I am shocked at how much you've grown. You even dared to use profanity against me, Kin–kun. Then again, you are fifteen. There was a seventy–three percent chance of your behavior taking a drastic change from when you were eight." L stated, his expression serious, but his eyes gave away the fact he was simply curious.
Really, after all this time, Light could still have enough understanding to know how to read his friend's emotions. In many ways L hasn't changed too much in the past few years.
"Ryuzaki, you have my respect. I trust you. There's no harm in calling you names when you've left me waiting for so long, right? Surely even you would understand you deserved that one. And you have Mello to thank for my vocabulary. That boy can curse like a sailor if he's really riled up." Light simply shrugged.
"Yes, I completely understand. However, I wonder why did you not want to be my first choice? I trust you, Kin–kun, most and foremost than the other two. I'm not going back on what I said earlier, you're no longer my first choice. But, as L – no, as your friend – I have the right to know why."
The teen tensed. Obsidian eyes stared unblinking at the teen. L the detective was staring him down, not his friend. Light was too shocked at the words to fully understand that L wasn't angry at him. Yet, as soon as he made eye contact with those eyes, the urge to reply as an angry teenager shrank and died down. L was not asking out of spite, he was asking out of trust.
So many years apart from each other, Light had nearly forgotten L's abnormal way of wording things. Well, he had accused the detective for being weird, didn't he? He almost laughed as the memory replayed in his head.
Light relaxed his shoulders, a charming smile made itself known on his handsome face.
"I thought it'd be obvious, even to you Ryuzaki–san."
L cocked his head to the side, perplexed that his own words were turned against him. But he waited for the teen to continue. Kinship wasn't angry, which he found curious.
"I already came to my own conclusion of what I wanted to do with my life. I suppose it wasn't made quite clear, since no one bothered to simply ask me. What I wanted had nothing to do with becoming your heir. I am honored that you would consider me, but honestly, I wouldn't be the best choice, let alone your first choice." Light leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest.
"Oh? And why is that, Kinship? Please, continue. I am curious as to why you say this." L blinked in surprise.
"Well, for one, you're my friend. To know that I'll be taking your place if something happens to you while I know you personally is not something that will settle well in my head. That is the reason why I don't want to be your heir."
"So, as your friend, you don't feel comfortable taking over the title of L. I had suspected as such, so then why do you say you're not the best choice then?" Kin did explain why he didn't want to be his heir.
Light diverted his gaze, breaking eye contact from L for the first time since this conversation started. The teen shifted in his seat, growing more nervous as he carefully thought over how to word his answer. Also, in admitting he most likely has mental issues, would not only harm his friendship with L, but hurt his pride too. At the moment he didn't know which would hurt the most, yet he was leaning more towards the consequences of their friendship.
"I…I'm too stubborn. If any criminal were to challenge me, if I was L, I'll take it too personally. You saw what happened when Mello called me a coward. I won't be able to handle any cases without allowing my emotions to get in the way. It might work in a normal society as an average detective, but to hold the title of L, such behavior can't be accepted. Also…"
L stared as the teen paused in mid sentence. Whatever reasons Kinship had, they were affecting him. But, to L, this seemed more as if Kin was admitting something. By simply saying, "I'm too stubborn", was a nicer way of confessing, "I have pride issues". For Kin to be admitting such a thing meant he was taking a leap of faith in his trust in L.
Throughout the six years, Roger had given him updates of Kinship's behavior, social status, grades, and growing interests. It had been noted Kin had a large amount of pride, but it couldn't be proven the extent of his pride went until he rebelled against them for being chosen as first choice. The reason why L didn't allow Roger to take any actions was because he thought the teen wanted attention. If by simply ignoring him, the teen will eventually grow bored and drop the whole rebellious stage.
Yet, the teen never gave in. Kin had proven he could be patient, never surrendering when he was determined to allow his plans to be drawn out for as long as it was needed until either Roger or L snapped. If anything, this only encouraged L to choose him as his first choice among three. But was he serious? Or was he setting up some sort of game to test them?
This was why L gave the condition of giving Kin the chance to be taken off the list of choices. He needed to see if the teen was completely serious with objecting the idea of L's heir. But then, when the arranged meeting was to happen, Kinship didn't show up. Roger had lost patience and ignored L's requests of hearing Kin's side of the story.
Everything went downhill from there. If it weren't for Matt contacting him before Kin recovered from his fever, he would've been lost to them. L had said so himself that Kinship had the power of being a great help to L, but he also had the power of becoming L's greatest opponent if he so chooses.
After the Los Angeles BB Murder Case, there was great reason why L took immediate action. Although he opposed the idea of giving into Kin's demands, he saw no other method that would prevent the teen from walking down the very same path B had chosen. It was only through luck, and swift action from Naomi Misora, that L had barely won the war. What would happen if he were forced to face his best friend in the ultimate war? If it were to happen, the war wouldn't stop until one of them were to die.
The answer was obvious. L wouldn't throw away the only chance he had to prevent such a war from happening. Even the world's greatest detective needed a friend by his side, rather than put his work before his social life (if interacting through the use of a computer to the children was considered as one). It was a choice L felt he made the right one, which was a breakthrough in his understanding the values of friendship.
Look at what happened to B.
"Also…?" L gently inquired, hoping he could at least get a little more out of Kin.
Light bit his lip, suddenly losing confidence. It wasn't that the teen couldn't trust L, but now wasn't the time. They've just been reunited! Maybe he should wait a bit, when the timing was a little more perfect. And perhaps after Light could settle on whether he truly had feelings for this man or not.
Once more something in his chest clenched. The teen bitterly hoped this wouldn't happen every time he pondered over sorting out his confusing emotions. It was starting to become annoying.
Decision made, Light stood up. The action surprised L, who had been staring intently at Kin, frowned as he watched the teen but made no indication for him to sit back down.
"Never mind, I can't say anything right now. Maybe sometime later, when I'm ready to tell, all right?"
L didn't know what was going on, therefore couldn't come up with anything to say. And before the detective knew it, the teen was making his way towards the door. For some reason that L couldn't fathom, his heartbeat quickened.
"Wait, Kin–kun."
He wasn't intending to reach out for the other's wrist. But his arm had moved on its own accord. The teen stopped where he was, and nervously half turned to the elder man.
"Yes, Ryuzaki?"
Light didn't mean to sound nervous. But the worried expression in L's eyes gave away that he had failed. L's expression hardened as he spoke.
"You said maybe. Kin–kun, you know I mean no ill intent towards you. You know this, right?"
Light refused to flinch. Those words didn't hurt.
"I know you're socially inept, Ryuzaki. But I know you mean well."
Liar. L had seen that coming. But he wasn't going to reprimand the teen for lying, he'll give him the slip this one time. What was it Kin was so afraid of? Why couldn't he tell him?
"Then when you're ready, please tell me what it is that's been bothering you. This may sound cheesy, but it's the truth. You're my friend, and friends are there for each other. I won't judge you, nor would I demand you give me answers now. I know you need space, but at the same time don't leave me hanging. I will worry for you but I won't ask questions. You mean that much to me, Kin–kun."
Light was at a loss for words. He had expected L to be angry at him, not supportive. Not that he was complaining, no not at all, the teen was grateful for the support. It was just a shock to receive any of it from the detective. Light visibly and mentally relaxed, as he smiled fondly.
"Thank you, Ryuzaki."
"Anytime, Kin–kun."
Light's smile widened.
"And, for the record, that was pretty cheesy."
L pouted. The teen couldn't help but giggle. At the detective's confused expression Light started laughing.
Feeling relieved, L joined in. In the back of their minds, this moment was similar to the last time they met several years before when L was leaving. Light had just enough time to give L the panda, as well as saying goodbye. They had shared a moment of laughter, as if to lighten up the mood for the both of them.
Now they were having that moment once again. Only this time, they were not going to be separated.
Light was sure of it.
=3=
Death: All righty, some foreshadowing, a little bit of teasing, a teensy bit of action, and some laughs (not to mention the pouting L is BACK!). Next chapter is when the plot really gets rolling. So expect the next chapter to be really, really, really long. With lots of action, suspense, lots of humor, oh, and maybe a kiss?
Yes, yes I am teasing you right now. And I'm laughing at your face. I can't help it when I'm being evil.
There is a reason why I'm Kira. Mind you, I'm not psychotic, but I can pull him off with ease. Oh! And please look up Tainted Love Cosplay on either facebook or DeviantART. The President, Gore-Font, first created the group on DA. Now that we have more members, Madame President has created a fan page on facebook. I'm the VP in the group! Which, personally, is not something to brag about, really. Gore-Font is the amazing president.
So, without further ado, please leave a comment and tell me what you think!