**I don't own Fairy Tail or the characters. Those belong to Mashima.

Sorry these chapters are taking so long to get up. I'm kinda' slammed with extra projects right now, unfortunately. However, I've got lots of ideas for stories, as tends to happen when I spend time away from what I'm currently writing... So anywho...

We now return to your featured presentation...

Er, that is... Here's the story. Enjoy. Read, review, etc.

"Hey Erza, want some extra-creamy whipped cream on that strawberry?"

Erza sighed as she looked up at Gray. He was currently standing on the bar over her plate, his hips dropped and rocking back and forth suggestively. His words were a little slurred, and his cheeks were flushed red from the effects of alcohol. If it weren't for the last part, she would've beaten the crap out of him for being so crude. But as it was…

Suddenly his clothes disappeared. Erza watched in horror as a drop of sweat came off his now-naked balls and dropped. Right. On. Her. Strawberry. Cake. Ok. That was unforgivable.

She saw Gray's face register shock, confusion, and then terror before she dragged him outside the guild for his beating…

~~~A couple hours ago~~~

"Gray-sama, Juvia got your clothes!" The rain woman ran up to her love interest, then stopped, staring.

"Juvia? Where did you get those?" Gray asked, his usual clothes covering his body. "Do you just carry extra clothes around with you? Did you like break into my house while I wasn't looking or something?"

"Juvia swears she doesn't! Juvia didn't!" Juvia denied, her face turning beet red as she dropped the clothes. "Juvia was sure she just saw Gray-sama take these off just a few moments ago!"

"Well as you can see, I'm fully clothed." Gray stated, turning away from the rain woman.

A few tables away, a blonde 12-year old girl and a 12-year old boy with pink hair snickered.

"So when will you drop the illusion?" Natsu asked.

"When it's time," Mavis answered sweetly. "You have to go enact phase 2."

"Ok," Natsu grinned. He got up and made his way over to where Gray was. "Hey ice-princess. I challenge you to a drinking contest. Loser has to be the winner's bitch for a day."

"No way," Gray sneered. "You're not old enough to drink anyway, brat."

"I can drink if I want to. Cana started when she was 12," Natsu smirked. "Afraid you'll lose to a 12-year old Gray?"

"What? Of course not. But I bet Mira won't even let you drink."

"We'll see about that," Natsu said, heading up to the bar.

"Hey Mira," he said sweetly. "I can drink alcohol if I want, right?" In a much lower voice he added, "If you let me drink whenever I want, you won't be the subject of our pranks ever again. But if you say no… you'd better watch your back for the next 6 months."

"Umm… I suppose so, Natsu." Mira said, terrified at the prospect of being singled out by the borderline evil pair for that long.

"Great!" Natsu grinned, speaking loudly again. "Cause Gray and I are about to have a drinking contest, and it would be really hard to win if I couldn't drink."

"You're actually letting this flame-brain drink?" Gray asked, approaching the bar.

"Yeah, you got a problem with it?" Mira let some of her demonic aura seep out.

"Ummm… I guess not?" Gray sighed, and Mira was glad he didn't press the issue. Though when she thought about it, she didn't know why Gray would accept the challenge. Didn't he know Natsu could use his magic to burn off over 95% of the alcohol before it even hit his system?

"Alright, let's do this!" Natsu grinned.

~~~6 pints later~~~

"Alright Natshu, I give up…" Gray slurred. "I may not be passhed out yet, but I know when I've losht…"

Natsu smirked. "Alright! Ice princess gets to be my bitch for a day." He then headed back to sit down next to Mavis.

"So now what?" He asked, drumming his fingers on the table.

"We wait for the perfect moment," Mavis said with a grin.

"I hate waiting…" Natsu pouted, resting his chin on his elbows.

"You should learn to like it more," Mavis giggled. "Waiting makes everything more worthwhile."

"Hmph." Natsu grunted, looking at the table.

"Will this help make the waiting easier?" Mavis leaned against him, resting her head lightly on his shoulder.

Natsu's face turned a little pink. "That's embarrassing."

"You're embarrassed by me, Na-kun?" Mavis said in a hurt voice, pulling away from Natsu.

"Of.. of course not Mavis-chan!" Natsu said. "I didn't mean to make you upset. It just… feels a little awkward is all!"

"Hmph." She crossed her arms and looked away.

"I'm sorry for making you think I was embarrassed by you, Mavis-chan!" Natsu said. "Please forgive me," he begged.

Mavis sighed, hiding her smirk before turning back to him. "I'll forgive you this once Na-kun."

"Thanks Mavis-chan!" Natsu said, hugging her. "You're the best!"

Mavis watched as people began taking advantage of Gray's drunkenness, but none of the situations really worked well for her. She was sure if she waited long enough the perfect moment would arrive. But how could she be sure?

After another hour had passed and Mavis was ready to give up on finding the right moment, the perfect opportunity finally presented itself. In the form of Laxus.

"Hey stripper," the lightning mage said. "I dare you to get on the bartop and make a sexual innuendo involving Erza's cake."

Gray paled a little at the suggestion. "Umm… I may be drunk, but that doesn't sound like a good idea…"

"What's wrong Gray? Are you a man or a chicken?" Laxus asked.

This caught Elfman's attention. "A real man doesn't back down from a dare!"

Gray looked over to the bar, where Erza was happily eating her strawberry cake, oblivious to the world. He gulped.

Natsu and Mavis watched, fascinated with the scene unfolding. Under normal circumstances Gray wouldn't dare do anything that might anger Erza. But Gray was drunk. It was just possible…

"20,000 Jewel says you won't do it!" Laxus called out.

The ice mage's face decided on an arrogant smirk. "Watch me," he grinned, quietly approaching the bar.

And as soon as Erza looked up from her strawberry cake, Mavis dissipated Gray's illusionary clothing.

"Maybe that'll teach ice-princess to keep his clothes on," Natsu grinned as they watched Erza drag him away.

"I hope so," Mavis giggled. "I'm tired of having to look at his naked ass."

Their work accomplished, Natsu and Mavis decided to head up to the second floor to look for a job. "Remember Na-kun, we need one that we can split 4 ways," Mavis said as she searched the S-class job board.

"Yeah, but Mira and Erza only get half shares, and they stay out of the fight unless we need them," Natsu said. "Which means if we take this job that pays 3 million jewel, you and I would get 1 million each." He pulled out a job request for some mages to kill a monster that was devouring livestock in Fiore's biggest farming town.

"Now, Na-kun, you forgot to leave at least a million for damage." Mavis tsked as she pulled another request off the board. This one paid 5 million, and involved the capture of an elite group of rogue mages who called themselves "Serpent's Fang." According to the request, they were wanted for murder, rape, theft, slaving, and various other high-profile crimes.

Natsu grinned. "Yeah, that looks interesting too. Let's get going!"

"As soon as Erza gets back in here," Mavis said with a smile. She didn't show it, but this was an extremely exciting moment for her. She was actually going on a job! She hadn't even used her magic in combat for over 100 years. Well, except the war with Alvarez, and that didn't really end well.

Soon Erza finished teaching Gray his lesson. As soon as she came through the doors, Juvia ran out to check on her Gray-sama. Natsu and Mavis brought the request down.

"Hey Er-chan," Mavis said. "We're taking this job request."

Erza looked at it, then frowned. "Are you sure this isn't a little too dangerous for you two?"

Mavis shrugged. "Well, we could just take it and leave if you don't want to come. After all, the deal was if either you or Mira doesn't want to accompany us, we can just go by ourselves. Besides," she added, "where else are you going to get half a mil without doing anything to earn it?"

Erza scowled. "I'm only coming because of the agreement. Better get Mira over here."

Mavis approached the bar with the request. "Mira-chan, let Maki know we're doing this request and then get your ass over here."

"Watch yourself, Mavis-chan…" Mira growled, but she had no real choice except to inform Master Makarov that they would be going on the request.

~~~~A little later~~~~

"I changed my mind! Let's pick a mission closer to home!"

"Oh come on Na-kun," Mavis was currently dragging the pink-haired dragon slayer toward the train. "It's just a little train ride."

"If by little train ride you mean 5 hour torture session on an evil death contraption…" Natsu moaned. "Don't make me get on that thing Mavis-chan!"

"Oh come on Na-kun. It can't be that bad." Mavis said as she bought their tickets.

"Imagine the worst you think it could be, and multiply that times a billion." Natsu said, starting to turn a little green just from thinking about transportation.

"Drama queen," Mavis said as they got on board, closely followed by Mirajane and Erza.

"Actually, he gets motion sickness pretty bad," Erza said. "But that's ok. I can just knock him out."

"If anyone knocks him out it'll be me," Mavis said, glaring at the red-haired knight. "But I think it's about time Natsu got over his motion sickness. Don't you?"

"How do you expect me to do that?" Natsu whined.

Mavis smiled at the young dragon slayer. "I could train you out of it Na-kun."

"Sounds scary…" Natsu groaned. Then he froze as he felt her aura suddenly turn colder.

"Or I could put Erza in charge of training you out of it," Mavis said in an all-too-sweet voice. "Since I'm too scary for my Na-kun…"

"GOMEN I DIDN'T MEAN IT!" Natsu cried, fearful of undergoing any training implemented by the scarlet-haired knight. "I'll be happy to train with Mavis-chan!"

"It's decided then," Mavis said, her aura returning to its normal, cheerful state. "As soon as we get back from this quest we'll start your motion sickness training."

Natsu's enhanced ears picked up Erza whispering to Mirajane, "Perhaps it'll keep the little devils occupied for a couple weeks."

"Hey Mavis," he said with a grin. "We'll still have time for pranks, right?"

"Of course," Mavis said with a bright smile. "We'll always have time for fun!"

"Good," Natsu grinned back, looking at Erza as he spoke. "We just wouldn't be the same little devils if we were too occupied with our training after all."

Erza didn't say anything, but the sudden widening of her eyes belied the stoic expression her lips attempted to keep. Natsu offered her a slight smirk before nestling against Mavis, realizing he was feeling a little queasy.

"Hey, we're moving!" He exclaimed, surprised. "I'm not nearly as sick as I usually am. Is that your doing Mavis-chan?"

"I'm flattered Na-kun," Mavis said with a smile. "But I can't take credit."

"Weird," Natsu said, rubbing the back of his head. He should be on the floor ready to vomit right now, not just feeling a weird uneasiness in his stomach and chest.

You do realize that you're my chosen vessel now, so I can't let you get too motion sick or I'd experience it too.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that." Natsu said aloud.

"Forgot about what, Na-kun?" Mavis asked, her eyes searching his.

"I'm surprised the great fairy tactician hasn't figured it out yet," Natsu said, smirking at her inwardly. Yes! I know something Mavis doesn't!

His elation was cut short when Mavis's smile turned sweeter, a sure sign he wasn't going to like what came next. "What was that, Na-kun? I'm pretty sure I must've misheard you, because I think you said that you wanted to discover what could be worse than severe motion sickness for 5 hours on a train…"

Natsu gulped, shivering slightly. She's a demon too… "Umm… I said it's because of the whole Ankhseram thing. It kind of mitigates the effects of the motion sickness."

"Ah, I figured that might be the case." Mavis said brightly.

Across from them, Erza and Mirajane just sweat-dropped. Natsu shared the sentiment, though he wouldn't dare express it with Mavis sitting right next to him.

"So Na-kun," Mavis said. "Tell me about Igneel."

"Hmmm…" Natsu sighed. "Igneel was a huge, really powerful, awesome dragon. He was the king of the fire dragons and of course my dad!"

Mavis sweat-dropped. "Is that all?"

Natsu looked at her. "Did I mention he was a super-cool dragon?"

"What was he like?" Mavis tried again.

"He was awesome!"

"What did you guys do together?"

"Oh," Natsu thought for a minute. "We did all kinds of awesome stuff. Training, flying, eating, sleeping…"

"Ok," Mavis said. "Is there anywhere special that you would go?"

"Umm, not really. It didn't matter where we were when I was with Igneel!"

Before Mavis could prod him further, he said "What about you Mavis? I don't know anything about your childhood."

Mavis looked down, a cloud coming over her eyes. "It wasn't much to speak of," she said quietly. "After mama and papa died, I had to work for this really mean guild. But it wasn't that bad!" She added, half brightly. "I got food and clothes. And of course there were always lots of people there. But then one day another wizard guild attacked while I was away, and there was nobody left alive except Zera."

"Well," she added after a few minutes, "Actually Zera wasn't alive either, but she lived in my subconscious. At the time I thought she was alive though, and it made me happy. Because I had someone to talk to and share life with. As long as I had that I could be happy," her smile came back to her features.

"Oh, and one more thing Na-kun. You should know you didn't actually steal my first kiss. My first kiss was almost a hundred years ago, and it was your brother."

"WHAT?!" Mira, Erza, and Natsu all did instant spit-takes.

Mavis looked sad again. "He was different back then. His goal was to isolate himself so he couldn't hurt anyone else… But as soon as I kissed him, I 'died.' After that, my friends who I founded the guild with did everything they could to preserve my life. And apparently, they succeeded," she added.

"So what did you do all that time before we first saw you on Sirius Island?"

Mavis smiled brightly. "Oh, I watched the guild of course. Once I got used to the idea of being a spirit, it was actually quite fun. Although I never did quite get used to missing out on all the fun," she said with a little pout. "You guys were all so much fun to watch, and I really wanted to meet all of you, but I always just figured it was better I didn't."

"So why did you change your mind?"

"After Sirius Island I couldn't hold back," Mavis said. "There was just so much excitement, especially when you all entered the Grand Magic Games after being gone for 7 years. I couldn't miss that."

"Hmm…" Natsu could still feel the little bit of queasiness in his stomach, but it was nowhere near the levels it had been before. Still, he didn't feel like talking a lot so he continued to press Mavis for more information about her. "So why were you crying between my grave and Zeref's when I was dead?"

Mavis stared at him. "You saw that?"

Natsu realized from her reaction that it was probably a shock to all of them that he knew what had been happening during the year that he was dead, but he didn't know if his stomach could handle a full explanation at the moment, so he just said. "Yeah, I saw a few things while I was dead… I don't know exactly how or why what I saw was chosen, but it wasn't like I saw everything. It only felt like a few hours."

"Hmm…" Mavis said, looking at Natsu with a thoughtful expression. "I supposed there's no reason not to tell you. You are Zeref's brother after all, and I can't help thinking that, in many ways, you're like Zeref would have been if he hadn't given himself over to darkness. During the years that I spent watching the guild, I never saw anyone quite like you, either before or after you joined. You were always ready with a smile when people needed it. You cared more about your guildmates than your own well-being. In a lot of ways, you were the fairy heart as much as I was." She looked at Natsu, her smile turning somewhat mischievous. "And of course, I did kiss your brother, so I had to wonder…"

"I see," Natsu sighed, his eyes closing as his body decided it would be better to sleep than deal with this uneasy feeling in his stomach the whole train ride. Erza and Mirajane were talking now, but he didn't even bother to try to comprehend what they were saying as he drifted into unconsciousness.

They were already at the next stop when Natsu woke up, his head resting on Mavis's shoulder. His head was quickly removed as Mavis suddenly jumped up, and the only thing that kept him from hitting the floor was her hand grabbing his and pulling him at a sprint toward the door. "We're here!" She exclaimed with excitement.

After they were off the train, Natsu managed to get his feet under him and run alongside Mavis. She didn't stop till she reached a large tavern located near the center of town. Then she just stopped and turned around. Natsu sighed, having no idea what she could be thinking, and turned around as well. He saw Erza and Mira, both running to catch up as they carried their travel bags.

"Wow Mavis-chan," Natsu said, rubbing the back of his head with a grin. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone so excited to get off a train – even me!"

"I just like new places, Na-kun." Mavis pouted at him. "Is something wrong with that?"

"Of course not," Natsu replied. Damn, she was cute when she pouted. "I was just surprised is all."

"You could walk like a normal person," Erza said as she set her four suitcases and large travel bag down. "I was barely able to get my luggage together with you dashing off like a mad woman."

"Well I'm glad you managed to get it all together, cause we're staying at this inn right next to the tavern," Mavis said with a grin. "I expect to be done with this job by tonight, though."

As the girls brought their luggage into the inn, Natsu, who didn't have any luggage, followed Mavis into the tavern. Once inside, they ordered food and Mavis went to a small table in the corner.

"Can't we sit over there?" Natsu asked as he joined her, pointing to a table near the middle of the tavern where a lot of people were gathered. He liked being in the center of the action, especially when it came to people.

"Nope," Mavis offered him her infuriating 'I have a plan' smile. "We're just gonna' sit back here and watch."

"Whatever," Natsu sighed. Apparently this was going to be a boring mission, but right now he had his food to distract him. He didn't want to overspend, so today his order consisted of a mere 3 plates that were basically filled with meat.

He was almost finished when Mirajane and Erza came over to the table.

"Why are you guys all the way in the corner?" Erza asked, raising an eyebrow at the pair. "Natsu usually likes to be the center of attention."

Before Natsu could answer, Mavis said. "We're over here because I'm trying to spend a little time getting to know Na-kun better, which would be harder with other people around." She stared at Erza and Mira pointedly.

"Well, I suppose I can see that," Erza said, pulling a chair out and starting to sit down until Mira grabbed her shoulder.

"Erza, let's go sit by the bar." Mira said, and Natsu caught her winking at Mavis.

"But we can't leave Natsu and Mavis alone here," Erza said, hesitating in a half-standing position.

Mira rolled her eyes. "We're not leaving the building, Erza. We'll be able to see them the whole time, and it's not like they're going to do anything indecent. They are only 12 you know."

Erza blushed. "Of course I know that," she snapped at Mira. "I was more concerned for their safety."

Mira giggled. "This is Natsu and Mavis we're talking about Erza. I'm more concerned for the safety of anyone who tried anything with them."

"Fine. I could use a drink anyway." Erza said irritably, pushing the chair back in and following the take over mage to the bar.

Natsu watched as they each ordered a plate of food and a beer. "So what are we waiting for?" He asked Mavis quietly.

Mavis just smiled. "You'll see," she said. "Just watch Erza and Mira closely. And don't drink that," she added, grabbing the orange juice he ordered and dumping it out on the floor.

"What was that for?" He asked, glaring at her. "I like orange juice."

Mavis sighed. "Natsu, do you know why we came to this town?"

"Because we're trying to capture some rogue mages?"

"Yes. We're trying to capture some rogue mages, and based on my research I've determined that this is the most likely place to get a lead on them. We know these mages are into things like rape, murder, and selling people into slavery. So we should be very careful. Especially since there's a huge market for child slaves in Bosco right now."

"What's that got to do with my orange juice?"

Mavis sighed, never looking away from Mirajane and Erza. "Possibly nothing, but drinks are one of the easiest things to slip drugs into. There are plenty of drugs that dissolve in liquids that would be all too noticeable on foods."

"Oh…" Natsu blinked, then started to get up.

"Where are you going?" Mavis asked.

Natsu stopped, confused. "I was going to warn Mira and Erza."

Mavis sighed. "That's exactly what I don't want you to do."

"Eh?" Natsu sat back down, even more confused now. "But they could be in danger."

"Exactly," Mavis said. "I'm sure you've noticed by now that there aren't any attractive women in this tavern. That means that two hotties like our Mirajane and Erza should attract lots of attention…"

"I don't see how this means we shouldn't warn them!" Natsu's confusion mounted. He didn't want to see Mira or Erza get hurt.

"We'll be right here watching," Mavis said. "And if anyone makes a move we'll see them. You get it now?"

"Oh… I get it. Then we kick their ass!" Natsu grinned.

"Yeah, something like that." Mavis said with a smile.

"Ok, I think I get it now." Natsu went back to watching the two women at the bar. Both of them were looking toward him frequently at first, but after a few minutes they got more involved in their conversation and less worried about the 12 year olds. After they finished eating, they both started sipping their beers.

Natsu knew they needed to watch the girls, but the lack of action was killing him. If he wasn't sleeping, or so sick that talking made him feel like throwing up, he needed something to fill the silence.

"So how will we know when they get here?"

"You'll know when the time comes," Mavis said. "And if I'm not mistaken, we should find out soon."

"But this is boring." Natsu complained. "I wanna' go kick some ass!"

"Keep it down," Mavis said, rolling her eyes at him. "You're like a little kid."

"I am a little kid," Natsu retorted, turning his attention back toward the bar.

"Perhaps your body is, but your mind should be more disciplined. Like mine."

Natsu was about to retort, but suddenly Mira slumped to the bar.

"Mira?" Erza looked at her, then looked toward Mavis and Natsu, her mouth opening as though she were about to say something, but whatever it was came out as a weak mumble as she slid to the floor.

Natsu tried to get up, only to have Mavis grab his shoulder and force him down. "Don't make it obvious that you're watching," she hissed in his ear.

Natsu wasn't sure he liked this business-minded Mavis. He preferred to face everything head on with his fists. He growled as two men in flashy, red and dark green clothing came in to the bar, picked up the two women, and headed out in front of everyone. People moved out of their way, giving them a wide berth no matter where they went. Even the bartender didn't say anything as the men took Mira and Erza out the door.

"Alright, let's go." Mavis spoke quietly, getting up and heading to the door. Natsu followed her, fuming. How could all those people just stand there while two women were clearly drugged and kidnapped in front of them? Why did Mavis just sit there?

"Mavis, why didn't we stop them?" He asked the blonde tween, still pissed that he just sat there and watched two of his best friends get drugged and kidnapped.

"Natsu, there are more than two mages in the rogue group," Mavis said, her tone slightly annoyed. "If we just attacked them right there, they'd know we were here to hunt them. Then what do you supposed would've happened?"

"I would've beat 'em till they told us where to find the rest."

Mavis sighed, not slowing as they trailed the two mages several meters behind. "I know a great game Natsu. It's called be quiet and follow the bad guys."

Natsu opened his mouth to say something, but somewhere along the line his brain kicked in and he realized that arguing might give their presence away. So he shut it again. Fine. He would work with her plan for now, but that didn't mean he had to be happy with it.

Alright, so I have a serious question here. You can let me know by PM or whatever, but how many of you would rather see me finish this story and how many would prefer to see the following story that I'm going to write at some point anyway:

Fairy Tail: Psychic Detectives (AU)

Mavis Vermillion is an absolute genius when it comes to knowledge and observation. She could probably do anything she wants. But there's a problem. She's lazy. She's 23 and still living at home. One day her mom, Jenny Realight Vermillion, throws her out of the house. To make money, Mavis decides to use her powers of observation to start a "Psychic Detective Agency" in Magnolia. Figuring she'll need some muscle, she talks Natsu Dragneel, a handsome, if a bit dense, pink-haired man who has a 10th degree black belt in 7 different schools of martial arts, into joining her psychic detective agency part time. When not helping in her agency (or practicing martial arts), Natsu is the top video game salesman for the Albasoft video game empire, and his brother, Zeref Dragneel and CEO (though he prefers to be called emperor) of Albasoft, isn't too happy about anything that occupies the time of his top salesman. Pairings will be Natsu x small harem (Mavis, Erza, and Mira at least. Max for the harem would be 5). (And yes, this is totally a rip off of Psych ^_^)