A/N: Part two of the last fic.
"Wait what? You're more of a DUMBASS than I thought, Kazuya."
Kazuya bared through hearing his friend's harsh and irritating reprimands, which, quite honestly he had heard before time and time again.
"I know he's an idiot but if you keep leading him on—"
"Hold up. I'm not leading him on. We've talked about this a ton of times and he keeps coming back."
Youichi stared at Kazuya in disbelief.
'Yeah and you keep screwing him in more ways than one.' Is what Youichi wanted to say, but held back and instead went with, "Alright, well ,what if he just decides to not come around anymore? How would you feel?"
"What?" Kazuya asked caught off guard.
"Kazuya, you're taking him for granted. As much of an annoying idiot that he could be, he doesn't deserve this. You're acting like some fucking kid who doesn't know what he wants but gets spoiled regardless because boohoo, poor me."
Kazuya furrowed his eyebrows in clear irritation because Youichi was definitely stepping into what definitely wasn't his business, "At least I'm not hopelessly chasing after some asshole who probably wouldn't give you the time of day."
Okay, so maybe that was uncalled for and curse Youichi, for provoking that stupid outburst from him. He wondered if he'd lost his touch.
"Excuse me, but which asshole are we exactly talking about?" A menacing voice spoke.
And at that moment, Miyuki Kazuya felt like a true asshole as a chill ran down his spine and a pink haired guy sat beside Youichi.
"Hey Ryo-san, you made it! This is the asshole I wanted to introduce you to."
"Hmmm? That's him? Youi-chan, are all your friends this lame?" The other said with a hint of malice as he smiled.
Okay, screw Youichi and this pink haired bastard insulting him. So, maybe he did start it, but he didn't even know the guy was right behind him, in his defense.
"Look, sorry about my comment just now. I know we started off on the wrong—"
"Save it." Ryousuke interrupted. "I don't need apologies. At least be honest and say what you meant. You thought I was like you, leading Youichi on and not giving him a chance?"
"Ryo-san…" Youichi said starting to feel a bit sorry for his own friend.
"Youichi, your friend, Kazuya was it? He needs to learn that any person has a limit. That Eijun guy sounds like a real idiot. Who would waste their time on someone who doesn't see a good thing right in front of them?"
###
As unpleasant as that meeting was with his so called close friend and new boyfriend whom Kazuya was still trying to get used to, it also opened his eyes to a lot of things he didn't really bother with. It wasn't just about his feelings. What about Eijun? Why didn't he pay closer attention? But he did pay close attention; he was just trying to avoid it all. He felt like a coward. He was scared but Eijun never gave him a reason to be scared. He was always so sure of his feelings, so confident, so bold in showing them. Kazuya did admire those traits.
He spoke of always being on his own, but Eijun became a part of his everyday life. It had already been some good months of being around one another. The mean act always seemed to work on other people who claimed they "loved" him but they honestly were no fun. They loved the part of him that everybody else saw, the past him. He knew if they saw all of his layers they would walk away, but Eijun stuck around and eventually caught on that Kazuya wasn't an actual mean person, he just liked to poke fun at people. He wasn't sure on how exactly that made him feel.
"You're a jerk and a bastard Miyuki Kazuya, but you're also… you're also a really cool guy. You look out for me in your own way. So no, I don't think you're cruel and I'll beat up anybody who says so!"
And Kazuya swore those were the words of a stupid person. It was really nice to have someone genuinely believe in you though. He believed in Eijun just as much. It reminded him of a past with promising futures and limitless potential, of warm and sunny baseball fields.
"What if he just decides to not come around anymore? How would you feel?"
'I would feel lost and confused because I wouldn't know how it feels like to be alone anymore. That stupid idiot would always be around when I needed someone to complain to, someone to just talk to.'
"I can't believe I'm going to say this but, I bet you've never had sex with anyone else. Don't answer that, but you didn't even want anyone but this one guy, this one annoying, obnoxious, and persistent guy who came along. You somehow let him in. He wormed his way in and then I bet you guys screwed each other because you're a bastard. I don't want nor care for details but seriously man, what sort of guarded tight ass does that with someone? Regardless of what you say, why would you give someone you don't love that much closeness? Let them see you in a state that nobody else sees you in. Besides, weren't you the one who told me 'who cares about the what ifs, just go for it'. You going to take it back?"
"Does he make you happy?"
Kazuya truly thought about all these things and as much as it made his head hurt, things started coming together piece by piece. He eventually found his answer and he was terrified because this was the first time he even acknowledged that he was letting something good pass him by. He thought he would be completely fine being alone. And when he asked Eijun whether they should have gotten together or not during sex—he felt like an idiot. Of course Eijun wouldn't take him seriously. Kazuya needed to sound sure of himself, like how he usually sounded sure about everything else but his feelings. He wasn't good at admitting things on a deeper level. He was mostly terrified because Eijun hadn't answered any of his calls or texts throughout the day. It was quite dreadful to see the roles reversed in that sense and now he was freaking out.
###
A few weeks had passed and it had honestly been hell for Kazuya. He had been driving Youichi and Ryousuke insane with his rambling on how he screwed up and why did it take him so long to realize everything. He wondered on what he should do. Ryousuke gave him a smack here and there or kicks under the table when they'd be indoors but Ryousuke knew that wouldn't make things better. He still got a small delight out of his minor violent acts. So he would take out his frustrations on Youichi for caring so much but it wasn't like Ryousuke wanted to make Youichi stop caring. He was simply upset that seeing Kazuya like that was upsetting his partner. He knew that Youichi cared about Kazuya a great deal and just wanted his friend to go back to his usual self. Despite Ryousuke calling Kazuya a "nuisance" and "annoyance" he wanted to help him out, not only due to him being Youichi's good friend, but also because he had started getting to know him on a much more personal level as well, and who would have thought that the guy and him had similar ways of thinking.
Things between Ryousuke and Kazuya had been rocky from the start, but Ryousuke admitted he had started liking Kazuya a lot more when he was honest with his feelings, although he was getting a migraine from seeing his constant moping around. Whether he was good at hiding his feelings or not, it was still obvious to him. Kazuya eventually shut up about the whole thing because what the heck was happening to him? Since when did he go and yammer away about how he fucked something up? He also thought Youichi had the strangest taste in people. His friend must have been a masochist at heart, but he acknowledged Ryousuke as a good guy for him. They seemed to acknowledge and respect one another on a different level and that was wonderful.
Ryousuke bluntly stated that he felt irritated at Kazuya not talking about his feelings anymore. So the pair planned an evening out at a nearby café and invited their conflicted friend. Little did Kazuya know, they had other reasons to be there as well.
"Ehh, Ryo-san, you still follow your little brother around?" Youichi asked with his head leaned into his hand. He honestly thought his partner would have gotten over his brother complex but it was too much wishful thinking.
"Hmm? Yeah. Some idiot has been clinging onto him." An obvious frown appeared on him.
Now, what Ryousuke didn't know was that his little brother texted Youichi telling him to please distract his older brother as best as he could because it wasn't fair that his older brother got to go out whenever he wanted with his partner while he wasn't allowed the same. The things he got himself into. Youichi simply pretended to not see the text and looked over at Haruichi across the room sitting at the table with his raven haired companion giving an apologetic look. A good ten minutes passed since they were there and Ryousuke was becoming impatient.
"Kazu-chan's late."
"Yeah, he just texted me saying he'd be here in another minute."
"He won't get Eijun back like that."
Youichi didn't really know what to say to that because the topic of Eijun hadn't come around as often. Kazuya even got upset with them when they would bring it up so it was one of those "talk about it when he's not around" sort of things. He decided to change the subject when a door opened and there he was, Miyuki Kazuya.
Kazuya took a seat at the table his two friends were sitting at. While he wouldn't call Ryousuke his friend just yet, he came with the package of Youichi.
"What's up guys? Why'd you call me here?" Kazuya took his scarf and placed it over his chair.
"We can't hang out with you anymore?" Youichi sounded offended as he took a sip out of his drink.
Kazuya raised an eyebrow, "Well, no, it's not that… it's just sort of weird. You guys have your own lives—"
"Kazu-chan, is it so hard to accept the fact that we might actually care about you, even though we really shouldn't?" There it was, that same old ice cold truth.
"Hyahaha, Ryo-san's right. We're friends aren't we?"
'Friends….'
Kazuya stayed quiet for a few seconds processing what was just said to him. He smirked in retaliation.
"Oh? You consider me a friend? How sweet." He teased.
Youichi furrowed his eyebrows in annoyance, "Look here asshole—"
The door abruptly opened with a young man rushing into the café and going over to Haruichi and the raven haired guy's table. That completely interrupted what Youichi was going to say as all three of them stared at the young man who had his back facing them. All they could see was someone's moppy short brown hair wearing a big puffy jacket and blue jeans.
Kazuya blinked a few times because he recognized that familiar form and his eyes widened at the sight. Youichi and Ryousuke lost interest once that person started flailing their arms around with loud obnoxious enthusiasm. They figured it was just some idiotic friend of Haruichi's. As they both brought back their focus to Kazuya, they noticed he was still intensely focused on the table across from them.
"Oi, Kazuya." Youichi said trying to get a reaction from his friend as it all made sense to him now, and he recognized that voice, but of course how could he not? "You don't think—"
Kazuya immediately got up from his seat and walked on over to the young man who was still standing up flailing his arms around and talking to Haruichi and the other guy who definitely looked like he was ready to doze off. Kazuya simply stood a few feet away from him amused while his lips curled into a smile. He felt some comfort hearing that all familiar enthusiasm.
Haruichi and his companion both stopped focusing on Eijun and turned their attention to Kazuya.
"So then the guy tells me he won't give me a discount for one STUPID rice ball! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? They aren't even that good!" The young man said.
"Uh… Eijun-kun?"
"Yeah? Hm, you and Satoru look pretty funny." Eijun laughed. "What's up guys? I mean it's okay. I went to another shop to get more rice balls."
Satoru sighed as he put his cup down. "Turn around, idiot. Some stranger has been snickering behind you like some creep."
Kazuya flinched at being called out like that all of sudden and creep? Harsh. When Eijun turned around, he saw the one person he honestly hadn't expected to see.
"AHH! MIYUKI KAZUYAAAAA!" Eijun yelled at the top of his lungs as a bunch of shushes were immediately heard in response.
Yes, Sawamura Eijun was known as that one friend who would get kicked out for being too disruptive to others.
"Shut it, you idiot!" Kazuya scolded.
Eijun rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times trying to make sure it really was Kazuya himself.
"What are you doing here?!"
"It's a public café. Why the heck wouldn't I be here?"
"Oh. True." Eijun said sheepishly.
Kazuya chuckled and, this felt nice, familiar, and he missed this. "Hey… so… could I talk to you, maybe at another table?" He said looking over at an empty table.
"Uh…" Eijun looked over at Haruichi and Satoru, waiting for any type of sign.
"Eijun-kun just go." Haruichi reassured.
"Alright." Eijun grinned.
Ryousuke and Youichi were simply observing from across the room.
"I'm assuming that's the guy Kazu-chan was moping about?"
"Yeah, that's him. I actually didn't recognize him when he stormed into the café. I should have though."
Ryousuke mused at how different the vibe of the whole room instantly changed when he had arrived. Not that it was gloomy or anything, but the café was much quieter and peaceful before Eijun barged in. Things seemed much more, livelier, for lack of a better term. He smirked and figured an honest and energetic idiot like that would do well for Kazuya.
"I can see why Kazu-chan likes him."
Youichi simply stared at his partner in confusion trying to figure out what Ryousuke meant.
"I… actually changed my number after the last time we saw each other." Eijun admitted bashfully.
"Was I that unbearable?" Kazuya suddenly felt worse about the situation. He had actually forgotten how crappy Eijun must have felt having to deal with so much uncertainty from his end.
'Of course I was.'
"No. I was." Eijun stated matter-of-factly.
Kazuya gave a look of disbelief. "How?! I'm the one who—"
"Listen to me. I felt like maybe me being around all the time was being too selfish. Harucchi actually suggested I just give you space. I didn't really expect to bump into you so soon." Eijun said as he sheepishly scratched his head.
"Space? You wanted to—you were considering me that much?"
If Kazuya could, he would cry, but he chose not to because that was inappropriate and there was so much more to say and crying would just delay things more. That was not what he had planned to do anyway if he ever ran into Eijun again. He felt so lucky to have been given a second chance like this. He stared into Eijun's golden honey colored eyes. They always did seem so radiant, so lively. It made him want to smile.
"Of course I was… You made me care about you. How dare you not care about yourself! " Eijun said feeling insulted at the question.
Kazuya went silent. He made him care? How? He didn't understand but decided to say what he had wanted to say.
"The things I felt that last time we made love, they were different. Eijun—"
What the heck was Kazuya saying? He was completely not keeping up with the conversation, but Eijun decided to keep listening because this was probably the first time they were actually sitting and actually talking about things instead of it being a one sided conversation—
"Wait, what? What do you mean different? And Kazuya you're embarrassing… Why the heck are we talking about this right now? How did it get to that?!"
"What? You always spout out the I love you crap!"
"IT'S NOT CRAP! WHAT THE HELL! AND THAT'S NOT EMBARRASSING. YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT SEX! THAT'S EMBARRASSING!" Eijun shouted feeling heat rushing to his cheeks as other people around them giggled and focused more of their attention at both of them.
It had been so long since they had their usual bickering back and forth without those strange boundaries holding them back. Eijun didn't feel like he was walking around broken glass anymore. When Eijun took a better look at Miyuki Kazuya, he looked, so different from usual. His eyes with their hint of dark amber radiance. They had a look of determination on them and Eijun wondered if he had anything to do with that look. Kazuya's eyes were really pretty, if Eijun were to say so himself. The Kazuya in front of him looked so natural and Eijun appreciated that.
Kazuya never realized how much he missed all of this until they both just laughed at how ridiculous the whole situation was. The laughing eventually came to an end as they both gasped for air and caught their breaths and Kazuya looked over at Eijun.
"I—I want to try. Like actually try with you." Kazuya said not breaking eye contact.
Eijun's eyes widened in slight shock at the sudden confession. "You mean you're asking me out?" He blurted out while blinking a few times to process what was said.
Kazuya, with narrowed eyes said, "Yes".
"Hmm, ask me properly! That sucked!"
Before he could shout at the idiot or possibly kick him in response, a sudden arm was casually put around his neck.
"He's right Kazuya. You're terrible at this. Hyahaha!" Youichi interrupted as he felt his friend's back getting smacked too.
"Youichi, you weren't any better. I had to kiss you to shut you up from your rambling." Ryousuke said.
Youichi pulled his arm off an annoyed looking Kazuya and scratched the back of his head in embarrassment at his partner's comment.
"Well, it was fun and all but we're leaving." Ryousuke said pulling Youichi along.
"Yeah, see you losers later!"
"LOSERS?!" Eijun shouted. "HEY!"
"Hm, we're going to have fun with him aren't we?" Ryousuke diabolically said to his partner as the other leered.
Eijun could have sworn he felt a huge chill run down his spine.
"Aniki?!" Haruichi said as he pulled Satoru, his partner, along to catch up to his older brother.
"Yes Haruichi, I'll leave you and your friend alone for now."
"Boyfriend." Haruichi responded stubbornly.
"Friend." Ryousuke said as he smiled.
Haruichi sighed while watching his older brother and Youichi leave. Satoru just stood there next to Haruichi acting indifferently towards the situation. Satoru was so used to that cold attitude from Ryousuke that he really stopped caring about acknowledgment, but he knew that Haruichi wouldn't let it go so easily. He demanded respect, and Satoru actually admired that.
Kazuya and Eijun then decided they'd talk things out at Kazuya's place.
###
"So you already knew Harucchi?"
"Ryousuke's younger brother? I met him once because Ryousuke has the tendency to 'look after' him a lot."
"I always thought that was super nice of onii-san!"
Kazuya gave a look of disbelief at the other. "Are you serious?"
"Yeah. It must be really nice having someone be that protective of you. It just means they really care about you." Eijun laughed softly.
Kazuya couldn't help but give a fond smile. How innocent, Kazuya thought. It was pretty ironic that their circle of friends were all somehow connected. Kazuya wasn't sure if that was a sign but he'd take it.
"So, you never asked me out properly." Eijun said grinning smugly.
"What? I did." Kazuya blinked a bit, feigning innocence.
"It sucked!"
"Alright. I'll try again then."
Apologizing wasn't really in Kazuya's book and it took a good amount of times for Eijun to catch on. He knew Kazuya was sorry about a lot of things. He knew Kazuya wanted to try. He knew that this was the hardest thing he had ever done. Eijun appreciated it, he really did, and he had waited for this moment as patiently as he could. So he was about to burst with giddiness.
They held each other, and this time it was Kazuya who initiated, the lips against Eijun's neck were pressing kisses that said a million sorries.
Eijun accepted all the kisses, and this was completely different from the other times, this one was special. Kazuya had so much to say in his actions. It was like a sea of emotion that was waiting for release. Eijun knew Miyuki Kazuya wasn't perfect but neither was he. He had wanted to show Kazuya how much he loved him, he wanted to teach him to love himself too. Their lips met this time around, their connection representing so many unspoken words. It was full of hope and warmth. It was full of promises to one another. Their bodies were closely pressed together, fitting with the other perfectly.
Kazuya could feel how much warmer Eijun had become as he caressed his cheek. Why was he so afraid of that closeness? Did he truly believe he didn't deserve it? Their lips still connected and their tongues still dancing around each other's mouths, their lack of oxygen becoming more apparent, their intensity growing, and they separated to breathe but only barely. Kazuya opened his own eyes and met Eijun's. Tears escaped and though it was dark in the room, golden and amber eyes were illuminating. Eijun reached out to wipe away a few tears from him.
"I love you, Kazuya." Eijun said with one of the brightest and most honest smiles Kazuya had ever seen. That smile that always taken his breath away, though he'd never tell Eijun that, it would get to his head. Okay, maybe someday, but it was too soon for that.
"I-I..." Kazuya hesitated. He was a bit embarrassed at the fact he let his tears fall, but he wanted to say this. He had waited for the moment he truly meant it and he finally did. "I love you too, Eijun."
Eijun's grin couldn't have been any wider than it was at that moment.
"So just go out with me already." Kazuya said with snicker.
Eijun gasped with widened eyes and he laughed.
"That was bad too, but okay if you insist!"
"Brat."
Kazuya smiled as his partner kissed off the remaining tears with his lips. Kazuya never felt so loved in his life and maybe he could get used to that intoxicating feeling from then on. As the other continued kissing his tears away, Kazuya whispered a thank you, because he really was thankful for having someone so persistent and enthusiastic and loving in his life. Eijun brought back his care for the simple everyday things.
That night they didn't have sex, but instead enjoyed the warmth of one another's embrace until they both fell asleep. One thing Kazuya did indeed learn about Eijun throughout the few times he awoke to a snoring idiot, was that Eijun moved way too much in his sleep. Having a knee stabbing your stomach when you woke up was not pleasant but he wouldn't ever want to trade his spot with anyone else.