Memories

Lost Friends

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If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.

Matt sat in the darkness –it was midday in Central Park but to him, there was always darkness. He closed his eyes –no difference. He supposed he could go to the mansion but he couldn't. Since joining the New Avengers, he'd got to know her better. They'd met before but this was…closer. When the others watched a film, she would sit and play card games with him using textured cards. Or they'd just talk quietly. He'd heard she'd been doing some work with Misty and Heroes for Hire. In fact, he'd run into her at one point, when she'd been leaping over buildings. Something to do with Kick being back on the streets. They'd had a quick conversation, she'd handed over a Heroes for Hire comm. and they'd parted ways.

That had been the last time he'd seen her as he wanted to remem- No. It had been the last time he'd ever seen her alive. That cruel smile and manic laugh was not, could not be Tora.

He remembered the best time he'd ever ran into her.

It had been Christmas. He'd taken the children from the blind school out to the Catskills. The bus had crashed, the snow was falling thick and fast, and they were lost. They trudged –or in Matt's case, limped- through the snow. Lost and afraid, the kids were slowly freezing to death. Matt caught his leg on a branch and tumbled right over. He screamed in pain as his injured leg ripped further. And then he heard a voice –a wonderfully familiar voice.

"Matthew Murdock, what on earth are you doing out here!?"

He recognised the heartbeat in an instant.

"Tora…? Tora Logan?"

He felt her slightly calloused hands on his face.

"I have a base camp not far from here. Fire, food, shelter. We were supposed to be taking the school kids camping –I came out ahead to set up –the weather meant we cancelled. I thought I might as well spend some time out in the wilderness. Come on. Kids! Over here! Who wants hot chocolate?!"

She managed to carry him and take the kids to her camp. She lead them into the small tent with the stove, made them all hot drinks, used her radio to call for help and gave them all a hot meal –venison he suspected she may have killed herself. When the rescue arrived, he remembered one of the girls quietly flinging her hands around Tora's waist and hugging. Tora had knelt down, placed her hands on the girl's face and smiled.

"You will always be welcome with our people."

And her fingers had brushed an X on the girl's forehead before she rose and walked away into the woods, leaving the camp behind.

Matt slowly got up and walked away. She had been a good friend.

"How well did the others cope?"

"Who do you want to see?"

"Your choice."

Steve sat on the end of his bed, head in his hands. Tora had left him a series of drawings of Etana she had obviously spent time on. But he couldn't take them. How could he? He had betrayed her. He hadn't trusted her and she had lost herself. How could he cope with that?

And Etana… How could that have happened? How could Tora give her back to him so easily –give them a whole life together –and then take it away just as swiftly? He had scarcely believed he had her back –in his arms in this very room –and then she was gone again, leaving no more than a few soft words and the feeling of her mind in his.

He slumped back on his bed, staring up at the plain ceiling. He thought of the girl at the Jean Grey Institute, the girl with Etana's face. Was she scared? Did she miss Etana? Was she like her? Did she smile in the same way? Did she laugh the same? Was her voice the same? Did she talk the same? He had barely heard her talk but it had the same infliction as Etana. The accent was that same one –initially sounded like English and then you caught the inflictions of an older, more foreign sounding language.

And Tora… Logan was crumbling. He wanted to suggest Logan take some time off. Just…take his kids and go away for a few months. Get his life sorted out. It hurt to see the formerly close-knit family be split apart by anger and secrets.

Steve pulled himself up. He needed to go and work this out of his system.

"More guilt. Is there anyone not feeling guilty about this?"

The masked woman shrugged.

"Not really. They had horrific hero complexes. It was kind of their thing."

Her eyes changed. Silver orbs stared out of an unscarred face. And she lunged…

He automatically brought his hands up to defend himself. And his claws went straight through her chest. He screamed as her eyes returned to normal and she reached out to touch his face.

"I…I'm sorry… Logan… Thank…you…"

And she was frowning and then something in her chest hummed violently against his claws before her torso was shattered by the blast. And she slumped into his arms.

He woke screaming. She had known! Damn her, she had known! She knew he'd raise his hands, knew the claws would pierce her chest! And she still did it anyway! She faked changing to scare him into killing her!

He suddenly realised that he had thrown his arm out to try and find her automatically. He turned to her side of the bed and stared. It was too cold there. She should be lying there, arms and legs splayed out as she stole two-thirds of the bed, shifting slightly. If her feet were cold, he'd suddenly get what felt like two ice buckets on his legs in the middle of the night. And if she was still shaken –if the events of the day had been particularly scarring –then she'd move over and they'd quietly lie face to face in the centre of the bed, trying to find ways to say that things were going to be alright. Most of the time, they were. The nightmares passed, the guilt slowly faded. But sometimes it didn't. Sometimes they still saw in stark relief the faces they couldn't save. The families that were broken. The damage they caused. This was one of those times.

But there was no Tora there to try and comfort him.

"They always did go to pieces when they lost the other."

"Is that a hint?"

"Come on! She almost destroyed the entire universe when he died!"

"Not the entire universe. Just… you know…an itsty-bitsy little bit."

"It was six star systems!"

"She fixed it, didn't she?!"

A.N. I'm back! Also, very happy as I got my results today and I've done as well as I hoped I do and better than I thought I did. So, I'm spreading the happin... Errr... I'm giving chapter presents!