Memories
Trauma
Disclaimer: What do you think?
If you want to use Tora, or any of my other characters, PM me.
The cloaked dancer picked up the girl and as they span, tossed her into the air and caught her once more. The girl danced around the cloaked figure and they moved slowly. And then the girl leapt again and as the cloaked figure caught her, something threw the cloak aside.
The angel girl span once more, holding the other dancer up as her wings were spread wide. She slowly lowered her down, bowed to the king then his guest and hurried off, towards a woman half-standing in shadows.
"Master."
"Etana."
"What message have you come to impart on me?"
"Tonight you will need to make a choice. It will shape your life forever."
"What choice?"
Tora shook her head.
"Go. You are needed at the table."
Etana glanced back and then hurried away. Tora turned away and walked into the shadows, the body she wore dissipating around her. After all, she was just shadows. Shadows and lies…
"Shadows and lies… No. She was light and truth."
"No. Phoenix was light. Griffin was balance. By definition, Dragon was shadow."
"But Knowledge is Truth."
"No. Once again, you are mistaking one for another. Truth is not Knowledge."
Etana was staring at her hands, as if they should be coated in blood. Her head darted up as she heard a sound. Her face relaxed as she saw the bird flutter into the room.
"Really? Why did you have to take that shape?"
The bird slowly changed until a glossy-furred cat sat staring up at Etana.
"And it's freaky when you do that."
A soft purr.
"I… I killed him…"
Silver eyes stared up at Etana.
"He… He was going to… When I went there… He… He tried…"
No change in expression.
"Did I choose right?"
No answer. Etana grabbed the cat by the scruff of the neck and shook it roughly.
"ANSWER ME! DID I CHOOSE RIGHT?!"
The cat blinked then water hit the floor, splattering Etana's feet.
"Was she trying to torture her!?"
"No. She was trying to create the Shadow."
The woman twisted as the blades flashed. The bronze armour glinted as the King's Hand tore through the rebels like a storm through a grove of saplings. Silver hair sparkled as the Angel carved a bloody path through the fleeing men and women. And then they were all dead. She heard a scuffling noise and whipped around.
The blade bounced off her chestplate and she was about to behead her opponent when she saw who it was. A child. A boy, aged twelve, his eyes filled with fear. And hiding behind him, a girl of eight.
Empty eyes staring at her. Achav's face, forever held in fear. And Mara's eternal pride. A child who had lost her entire world.
The stained-red blades fell to the ground as Etana's knees hit the floor. She looked up at the boy.
"What am I?"
He looked so scared.
"Please… Can you… Will you ever be able to forgive me…? How can I atone for this…?"
"By defending them."
The three heads snapped around to see the figure walking in the air, gleaming silver as the light refracted through the water.
"These children are your blood price. You must defend them. You must be their parents, as you slew theirs. You must guard them. You must, if need be, die for them. They are your responsibility from this day forth."
Etana looked up.
"Have I failed you?"
"No. You may make me sad at times but you will never fail me."
Her hands cupped Etana's face.
"Return. And never kill like this again."
Etana stared up as Tora slowly faded out. And then she allowed herself the small luxury of tears.
"The end of the beginning draws near. Soon, the King's Hand will be gone. Stripped away to create Justice's Shadow."
Laura screamed as she slammed her fists into the wall, watching blood smear along them and staring down at her apparently undamaged hands.
"Laura?"
She turned to see Finesse.
"What do you want?"
"She loved you. It took me time to see it, but she really cared about you."
Laura turned away.
"If she loved me, why did she let herself die?"
"I think you already know."
Laura looked over her shoulder.
"I know. I just do not understand why."
"I don't understand either. But from what I have heard others saying…at times, it is better to die than live a monster. She made the choice she felt was the best. It was not the choice either of us would have made. But I believe she would have her own path of logic to that conclusion and maybe if we can realise what that was…"
"She didn't want to live anymore."
"Pardon?"
"She wanted to die when she traded her life for Ken's and the others. When Logan gave some of his in exchange for hers, she was so mad at him. She's wanted to die for a while now. You have to know her well but you could see it in the way she fought. There was no defence anymore. She just threw herself right in, without strategy, hoping to be hurt."
Finesse looked confused.
"Why do that?"
"Because she… It is complicated. I think only her and Xixswalstar truly understood its workings. But it was like… They tore something out of her when Hope came back and she has been trying to retrieve it ever since. Retrieve it or follow it."
Finesse looked round.
"Do you think we should be conducting this conversation in an open area?"
Laura looked around then shook her head.
"I know somewhere."
And the two girls who weren't quite sure if they were friends walked off together to logically think through the thoughts of a woman who was never quite sane.
"Oh, just hug and make up already! I want to see the-"
"Spoilers, Death, spoilers. Remember Phoenix was unusually lax when it came to keeping track of this period."
"I was not!"
Logan pulled the chair up and straddled it, resting his arms of the back and leaning forward.
"Hey."
The low buzz of scanners was his only reply.
"Meggan sent you flowers. Lots of people sent you get well cards. You want me to read some?"
No answer. He sighed.
"Yeah. What's the point? You'll read them yourself when you're better."
He closed his eyes.
"Because you will get better. Understand? You are going to pull through. You can't afford not to. I won't let you."
He sighed.
"I've lost so much. I'm not losing you as well. Not again. Not after all we've been through. Not now. Not after… Not after Tora died. There, I said it! Has anyone told you? You probably already know. You'd have felt it. In here."
Logan touched his chest.
"She was lost without you. It was like… It was like there was no one there. She wanted after you but couldn't follow."
He closed his eyes.
"When Xix told me about it, I was so scared. And… And for a moment, I wondered. What was going on between you? And then I felt like filth! You'd never do that. She'd never do that. How can I have doubted you? How could I have doubted you? Will you ever be able to forgive me for that?"
Only the steady hiss of the ventilator responded. Logan looked down at his feet.
"Stupid question. You'd tell me not to be so stupid, that you forgave me as soon as I thought it. But I'm not like you. I can't forgive. Not easily. Not quickly. Not painlessly. I have to wade through blood and gore and revenge to get to forgiveness. You're ten times better than I am or ever will be."
He allowed himself the tiniest of chuckles.
"But I haven't forgiven you for the bleeding piano yet! You and your jokes! Were you up there, laughing your little furry blue 'Chosen' butt off?"
He smiled sadly.
"Yeah. I've missed you. I… I've gotta go now. School to run and all that."
He got up and put the chair back. Just as he reached the door, he paused.
"Hey… Wake up soon, Elf."
Behind him, Kurt Wagner lay silent in his coma, having not woken from the stupor he entered the exact moment that Tora had died.
"Then how did…?"
"Ah, ah, ah. All shall be revealed."
A.N. Following the advice of a reviewer (whose review you can see yourself if you want to) I am planning to split up Memories into separate sections. The first section will remain at this story code, albeit slightly renamed. The others will need to be reached either through my profile or in the main X-Men feed. The changes won't happen right away, but I think will be implimented before the end of September. If you have any questions about this, drop me a PM or something. Also, there may be a few new AU chapters added in with the changes. I'll give the chapter numbers when I change everything.
So, until then, hope you keep enjoying Memories, soon to be a 7-part-tale.