I own nothing.

000

Deeper Down this Path and Coming Back Around

It was still well before the heavy drinkers stumbled home, but long after the early risers had burrowed into their beds. Astrid shook the handle of the front door. With no lights and no sounds from within, Hiccup's house – no, their house – looked dead inside. Astrid fumbled for the key hanging from her belt. She slipped it into the lock and felt the click of the bolt release.

In the middle of the room, she saw Brie freeze like a caught thief.

"Ms. Hofferson, I was coming to let you-"

"Where is he?"

Astrid glanced over the sheer white nightgown worn by the girl, which showed off her tempting feminine curves. She also noticed Hiccups chain mail on the table. How long had he been unaccounted for? It seemed less than a half hour. What could have happened? Her stomach felt like someone sliced her open to let everything inside fall out.

"I tried to help him to bed, but he refused and the dragon wouldn't let me upstairs," Brie explained. "He looked bad when he came home. Upset. Drunk."

Toothless sat guarding the stairs, and Astrid sensed the girl told the truth.

Her lungs fill with air, and she felt like she was finally regaining control.

Astrid scowled at the smaller girl.

"From now on, you stay out of his room. If something is wrong, get me."

"It's late-"

"I don't care. He is my responsibility. I would have come." She asked herself if she would have, then dismissed her own questions. Of course she would have.

"Get proper clothes on and go to the well for water. And don't dress like that in my house."

"I was getting laundry ready for to-"

"Water." Astrid pointed to the door, like she was commanding a dog.

Toothless watched everything unfold. Astrid gave him a thankful pat.

"You can sleep now, Toothless."

The dragon nodded before covering his head with a wing.

Astrid tiptoed upstairs, each step in the creaky old hut betraying her presence. She opened the door to Hiccups room, where he slept sprawled out, half naked - half covered by his sheets.

She sat next to him on the bed. In the moonlight, his toned muscles curved and flexed in all the right ways. She'd grown to love him for who he was on the inside long ago – his mind, his heart - but she didn't always appreciate how objectively beautiful he became on the outside. And now it seemed other people had started to notice. Since he became chief, it felt like he wasn't her's anymore; like everyone else had pieces of him. And now the thought that other girls could take him... What if Ingrid was right? What if she couldn't hold onto him forever?

She wouldn't let that happen. Tonight, she could make him her's, the way he'd been asking. Why wait the extra few days? It would put any other girl out of his mind and it would ease her own mind. She moved a few strands of auburn hair from his face. Beneath her fingertips, his skin felt cold. Never before had his skin felt so cold when she touched him. Nor had he ever complained about the cold. But tonight, he felt like stones in winter – like something had snuffed out the fire inside. She moved her hands down his back, feeling the movement of his muscles as he breathed in and out.

He slowly pulled his head from the pillow and his mind from sleep.

"Astrid, whater you doin 'ere?" He mumbled as he fell back down.

"I came to see you, babe."

He rolled unto his back. "M'k…nice." His eyes closed again, drifting back off.

Astrid loosened the ties on her dress as she stood up, she shimmied it off her shoulders, then hips, then let it fall to the floor.

"Hiccup, wake up."

He moaned before opening his eyes. When he did, he widened them and he jerked straight up in his bed.

"Is this happening?" He gulped.

"Yes," she gave him a seductive smile.

"Holy gods…" He whispered, in the quiet darkness of the room she heard his breath hasten.

His hands shook as he reached out to her and pulled her to the bed. His skin felt like ice in the cold room.

He started kissing her, methodically, over her lips, her face. His freezing hands trying to steady themselves on her shoulders. She felt him shiver beneath her fingers as tiny mountains of goosebumps formed on his flesh.

His kisses slowed, he stopped his movement, rested his forehead against her chin.

"Why are we doing this? Why now?" he whispered.

"Because, I love you," She said flatly.

"This isn't right. Not now. I can't. Why tonight of all the nights?"

"I just said, I love you." Agitation crept into her voice. "Are we going to do this now or not?" She pulled her face back.

He looked at her with empty eyes.

"I want to. But I'm tired and drained." Something about his voice sounded cold and far away like he was talking to her across a snowstorm.

"You didn't seem tired and drained earlier, when you were with other people. Those other girls."

He shifted back and lifted his head to look meet her eyes. She could tell he wanted to fight that comment, rise-up, maybe go on a tirade, but he didn't. Instead he channeled his waning energy into kissing her mouth, neck, ears. He moved passionlessly, letting his teeth scrap against her skin, almost crossing the line from ecstasy to pain.

He started to move his hands over her, pawing at her like a mad animal, rough, hard. This was not him. Why was he off? Empty? Like a ghost made of flesh who hungered for nothing.

She put more energy into her kisses, making them harder, and wetter, moaning as she ran her hands over him.

He kept moving and kissing, but not toward anything, it was like he was going for a ride, not competing in a race.

"I love you." She whispered.

He stopped for a moment, breath audible, but uneven.

"Hiccup?"

He resumed his movements, this time grabbing her and holding her tighter. He would force himself to do this.

His hand moved up her back and around her breast bindings. When she pictured this part in her mind she always though he'd move slowly, fumble a bit with the bindings and unravel everything slowly. However, instead he pulled at her sliding his finger around till he found the knot that held the clothes together, quickly releasing it. Like he knew what he was doing. Maybe, like he'd done it before.

As the fabric fell away she moved back to allow him space to admire seeing her like this for the first time.

"So?" She asked expectantly.

His eyes widened and he looked up at her, softer than before. "You have the most beautiful chest I've ever seen."

"What do you mean 'ever seen'? Where have you 'seen' anyone else?" She sat further back.

His words all came out flat, lacking the energy of emotions, "Well, on most women, below the neck and above the stomach. Hard to miss if you're a guy."

Even in the candlelight she knew he could tell she wasn't amused and he didn't have the stamina for clever banter, so he relented, "Around, but not unfaithfully. I've, you know, seen other women without tops. Does it matter?"

"When were you planning on telling me?" She sat back and covered herself with her hands.

"Never, because I never wanted to think about it. I didn't do anything wrong. I didn't recall it till Gunnar got here and brought slaves with him. That's how out of my mind it was." Irritation finally seeped into his tone.

"Astrid, I never said anything because the guys and I had a pact not to talk about it. And before I say more, can I just say, this is great that you wanted to sneak into my house for this, after we both decided to wait and you stuck with that and said 'no' so many times. However, you've caught me off guard tonight. I'm so exhausted, I can't fight. And this might be the one time I would not be into this. The one time. So your timing – amazing."

He rolled over grabbing his shirt from the floor and tossing it to her. "Wear this and get under the covers. It's cold."

She put the shirt on, but moved away from the lifted blankets, seating herself on the far side of the bed.

He sat back against the headboard, "One day, when we were living at Dragon's Edge, BEFORE you and I were together, you and Ruffnut were on watch. Tuffnut and Fishlegs were riding Barf and Belch because Meatlug had some stomach thing. The two of them needed something at the market and Snotlout had to go with the rest of the guys. There is one town not too far out, quiet and near woods. Snotlout and Tuffnut didn't eat before we left, of course, so we decided to go to a tavern and get food. We found this place called the Owl's Perch. It was the sort of tavern where you could get women, and those women were 'on display'. We didn't know when we went in. Had we, I wouldn't have gone. I tried to turn around and walk out, but we didn't want to call attention to ourselves, because we already stood out and the Madam who ran the place, made us come in further. I don't like to remember it - it was not a good experience. I only talked to our waitress and honestly most of the time Fishlegs and I sat at a corner table and discussed dragons. But I'm not blind, so yes, I saw some women without coverings."

"And Tuffnut and Snotlout?"

"– they just talked to girls."

Astrid fixed her eyes on the floor, "This is exactly the sort of stuff I'm afraid you'll do after we get married."

"What? It was before 'us'. And I felt so uncomfortable, partially why I never mentioned it. It was actually – upsetting. If anything, I never want to go back to a place like that. I also never told you, because you're too good to know about it. You shouldn't have to think places like that exist."

"That makes no sense."

"And I'm sort of happy it doesn't to you." He took a deep breath. "Look, the girls there weren't like you. They were sad, used up, old - not just physically old but worn out. It's like they'd never been anywhere in their lives and they'd already seen too much of the world. And you're so beautiful and full of life with so much ahead of you - you should never be in a place like that, you shouldn't think about places like that. It's a world I don't want you to co-exist with. And I told my dad…he was not happy. He wanted us to not bring it up – ever. We swore we'd never talk about once it was over. He worried our going there would reflect badly on him and the guys. My dad hated the idea of slavery. It's why I can't just turn out that girl downstairs."

"I don't know what to say."

He turned out of bed and put on his prosthetic. He tossed her dress to her and grabbed a tunic for himself.

"I swear to Thor, I might have gotten a good night's sleep….And now, I have to walk you home and hope your dad doesn't skin me alive."

"How did you know how to take off my bindings?"

"What?"

"How did you know? I mean, when I first started wearing them, getting them on was hard, and getting them off wouldn't be easy for a first timer. Strange you just knew how to work them."

"I'm done talking about this. I'm not stupid. I know about women's underwear – too much if you ask Tuffnut."

"How?"

He threw his hands up and started yelling, "I just told you - Tuffnut. Why do you think he keeps brining up an underwear fetish? It's an inside joke. It's a fun story if you took the time to ask him."

She stood up, "The way you are talking to me now – you will never talk like that to me, again. I will not be disrespected - EVER."

"This is my house till the end of the week. You've come in the middle of the night. A night when I'm missing my dad. And I just can't seem to move forward. And everyone keeps reminding me of who he was…And then Gunnar and the song - and I just-"

Sobs started choking him, "I just – I need you to go." He sat back on his bed, trying to pull himself together.

She put on her clothes, "I'm sorry." She moved toward him, he pulled away angry, but regaining control.

He didn't look at her when he finally said, "I'll walk you home. And I'll never talk to you like that - ever again."

She could feel his whole body shaking. She had to fix this now.

"I don't want us to be like this. We've never been like this? Why now?"

He took her hand and put it over his heart. She couldn't feel it beating underneath his shivers, "You once told me what I was looking for was in here. When I feel here – it just hurts."

The way he said it, crushed something in her heart, in both their hearts, it seemed more final that just yelling and screaming, like some connection might have been lost. Or maybe it had been lost for a while, and she just realized it.

She started to understand. So many people needed a part of him there wasn't much left.

"It wasn't your fault," she told him.

"I second guess everything and wonder what he would have done. Sometimes I think I won't ever move forward. I'm tired, but I never seem to sleep. I smile, but it feels like a lie."

"Is that why you didn't say you loved me back earlier?"

He nodded, "I know that I can't be without you. I need you so desperately. You are the other half of me, but I don't want to lie to you – some days I feel nothing for anything. There are so many times I said it and it was true. And I could say it some other time and it would be true, because when I do feel, that is how I feel."

They sat there quietly for a few moments. Finally, he said, "I want you to stay. Not like-"

"I know," She nodded.

"But, I have a responsibility to your family. Your parents shouldn't have to worry about us or me. That's too much for them right now," He signed, "Can I at least sneak you home?"

"We should stay 'til more folks have left the hall so no one will see us. And because I want to stay with you." And she did want to stay. He could have lost his temper and torn her apart and she would still have wanted to stay. But he would never do that.

He nodded and leaned over to put his head in her lap. The faint light in the room caught the tears on his face making them look like moonlit rivers.

She started to understand that not being allowed to be alone together and their constant societal requirements pulled them apart, and he needed to be with her to start getting back the pieces of himself he lost.

"I'm sorry, Astrid. Everything I said to you was true. Don't be angry. I never said anything because it also wasn't important to me. It was like getting one of Gothie's physicals – it's painful while you're there, you don't want to think about it, and you don't want to talk about it."

"So you're not OK with being naked in front of an older women. This is a relief, because I've been worried about you two." It felt better being able to joke again.

"There is no one you should worry about. I have to keep you. I'll crumble and everything will fall without you."

She combed his hair with her fingers. She did wrestle with the idea of what he had done, but she detected no lies in his words. In truth, he did what she feared he might do, and when confronted with it, it sickened him. In a way knowing that alleviated her paranoia.

She soothed him, "I won't lose you. It was before us. And I didn't want to know – not because I don't want to know what you do. You shouldn't have gone, but it is hard to think about those things and I'm sorry you had to."

Astrid called for Toothless and the dragon sauntered up the stairs. She patted the side of the large bed, beckoning for the dragon to cuddle next to them. She wondered if Toothless might have been sleeping in this bed with him like a loyal pet. The bed was Stoick and Valka's old one, so it was big. It surprised Astrid it survived so many dragon attacks, knowing the Haddock house had been partially burned down several times. This was the first time she saw it in this room, she hadn't been up here since they officially got together. She only knew it was there because Hiccup mentioned moving it after Stoick died.

Toothless yawned and took his three-fourths of the bed, Astrid pushed Hiccup next to him and wrapped her arms around him from the other side. His skin started to warm and his breath became rhythmic. She thought maybe he had fallen asleep, and the time had come for her to sneak home. But when she moved he suddenly awoke.

He held her arm. She saw the faint light of the room reflecting in the whites of his eyes, and she saw the folds of his brow. He was thinking about something, working through a problem. Finally, he rolled to face her and asked, "Astrid, what really made you come here?"

000

Fancy meeting you here

Heather and Fishlegs stayed silent in the lightless niche between the houses across the road, watching the figures move in the dark. The couple held their position for a few moments, until Heather pulled away.

"Wait!" Fishlegs whispered, trying to grab her hand.

Heather snuck over to the figures.

"I remember when I used to sneak into people's houses." She quipped.

"Oh, Heather! Oh gods!" Hiccup let out a string of swears. He seemed soberer, but still not fully himself.

Heather looked at her other friend, "Astrid, what are your intentions for the night?"

Hiccup's words stumbled out, "This is not what it looks like, I was walking Astrid home, from…uh…I got nothing…"

"Hiccup, you can't even make up a good lie?" Heather shook her head in mock disappointment. She put a hand on each one's shoulder, feeling the warm radiate from the skin beneath their clothes.

"No lies tonight…Yeah, I'll lay off the drinking…learned my lesson." He gave a self-deprecating laugh.

Having discovered there was no threat, Fishlegs came over.

"You guys better hope your parents don't find out about this. And really everyone else."

"Come on guys, we've done nothing wrong. Let this one slide. I'm begging as a friend, not ordering." Hiccup gave them a sad baby look.

Fishlegs and Heather exchanged parental glanced. Judging by their puffy eyes, the way Astrid kept sniffling, and the way the light reflected off dried tear trails on their faces, Heather figured they had not been doing anything out of line other than talking. Unless Hiccup was some sort of crazy emotional love maker, which she doubted… mostly.

Fishlegs took his teacherly stance, causing the other couple to exchange worried looks.

"Say anything about what? Oh – you mean how I found you wandering the streets drunk at night alone and walked you home? – I think I can keep that to myself."

"Fair. Do I need to keep this outing," Hiccup gestured to Fishlegs and Heather, "from Dagur?"

"Oh Hiccup, you've met my brother, this guy is way more respectable." Heather said wrapping her arms around Fishlegs.

"So, we've got nothing on you?"

"You'll just have to owe me another favor."

"We'll owe you both two favors - Heather, get Astrid inside safely. Fishlegs, I'll need you to walk me home. I'm not feeling so good."

"Do you need me to come up and cuddle with you?" Fishlegs mocked.

"The real reason I got drunk has been revealed," Hiccup smirked ironically. "I thought you'd never ask, but Toothless is already keeping the bed warm for me, you know, his three-fourths of it."

"I will make sure you get to that bed, sir."

Hiccup turned to Astrid and gave her a longing kiss good night, "We will talk again. I do love you." He forced himself to pull away, their hands holding till the last moment.

The guys helped the girls sneak into the window upstairs. Once inside, Heather looked out one last time and watched as they walked off, Hiccup not entirely in a straight line, but Fishlegs stood close enough to help him when he stumbled. They were both great guys. It might have been Fishlegs there tonight to help a stumbling friend - but Heather knew anyone in Berk, especially their chief, would be happy to help those who stumbled.

000

Before you send the hate reviews about the tavern, I want to explain – Hiccup really didn't want to go, and the boys thought it was a regular tavern. Once inside they couldn't leave. But it is important that he and the other guys were there - it will shape how they feel about the enslavement of people.

There is more to the story (nothing that makes the guys bad, and he is honest about not wanting to tell her about the horrible things he saw) and I'll come back to this. He never lied about it, his reasons for not talking about it are all in the text. None of the dragon riders did anything wrong. If they went after Hiccup started seeing Astrid it would be cheating, but this is a bad life lesson Stoick told him to move on from.

Why did I put this part in? Because, the oppression of people, particularly women, is important in this story and it can negatively effect men as well. Astrid's not knowing about it or about the oppressive situations other woman can be put in, is meant to revel a sometimes lack of understanding in inter-female relationships.

For those of you hating the tension between Hiccup and Astrid, this is the turning point where they start to rebuild, because she is starting to recognize he is suffering from grief.

As always, thanks to those who followed, favored, and reviewed.

To the guest who commented on liking chapter 1 – I hope to have more chapters like that with more banter, especially now that Hiccup and Astrid's relationship is on the mend.