I own nothing, literally. (except the OC, Burned Out Star, Beth, and a few robots)
Wherever Girl owns Derek, Lobo, Lou, Althea and Sally.
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It was a bright August day in Unnamedville, which was literally the name of the town. On these bright days it made people happy to be alive, and with the ones they loved.
"GAAAH!"
Okay scratch that. ALMOST everyone.
Calvin growled as he sat in the backseat of the car, his eyes casting a straight forward glare to everyone around him- the boy was not happy to be here, and he showed it… and boy did he show it. "I hate you all, I hate being here, I wish everyone was dead…" He was silently grumbling under his breath.
"Calvin stop that. You knew that this day was coming, and you had plenty of time to prepare for it." Mom stated from the front of the van, as she quickly pushed in a CD, with a gleeful look on her face, happy to finally have such technology. (No matter HOW much Dad complained about it- really, he complained more about advanced technology than Calvin does about nothing good being on TV! That is a LOT of complaining!)
"Yeah well, may I remind you that this day is in fact Armageddon for me? The mere FACT that you even CONSIDER today to be a good day appalls me, and it makes me ashamed to be your son!" He said with a clear growl in his voice.
"Well trust me I have the same feeling about me being your mother." Mom retorted, despite him and her both knowing that it was a joke, but there were times when it actually was the truth, as heartless as it may sound. "Besides it happens every year and you need to take it in stride."
" I don't see why we need to waste money every stinking year on this stuff, I mean my old stuff is perfectly fine!"
"No it isn't." A voice next to Calvin said.
Calvin whirled around. "OH YEAH WILL WHO ASKED YOU!?"
He shrugged. "You did, when you invited me along."
"OH YEAH WELL YOU COULD HAVE SAID NO!"
"YEAH BUT YOU BOTH NEEDED TO BE REMINDED THAT I NEED TUNA!"
"YOU NEED TUNA ABOUT AS MUCH AS I NEED THIS STUFF!"
"OF COURSE YOU DO YOU USED YOUR BINDERS TO TRY AND MAKE A BOAT!"
"HEY IT FLOATED DIDN'T IT?"
"Yeah, and if I remember correctly it took no less than FIVE SECONDS FOR IT TO SINK!"
"Well that's because I had extra weight."
"Extra weight?"
"Yeah Althea's been looking larger recently."
"Yeah well i tell her to keep cutting down on cookies."
'Yeah she really needs too."
"And the audience is lost."
"Wow really it didn't take him that long did it?"
"Nope, now let's get back to the script before he pulls out the mallet again, or worse he'll sick HER on us again."
They looked out the window, where a car driven by the Co-Author and Author rode next to them, the author holding up a mallet while the co-author gave a menacing look.
Calvin paled a bit. "Yeah let's NOT go there."
Next to Calvin was his best friend in the world, Hobbes the tiger who had formerly been only able to be seen by Calvin, and thanks to events earlier in the summer, had now been able to be seen by everyone. This however caused some .issues with Animal Control, but they mostly ignored him nowadays, and he is in fact REAL good friends with the Police chief, and the members of the SWAT Team, and every cop in the county, AND the police chiefs in the other 6 towns in the county, and all the Military Forces.
Yeah people are paranoid. What do you expect?
Today however Hobbes was tagging along on this little venture to make sure that Mom got tuna, and to keep Calvin out of trouble... mostly the tuna thing. Not having tuna would be like an apocalypse for the tiger, not to mention the lack of it caused him to have dreams of eating Calvin- and it didn't help that he prowled in his sleep either, which was why Calvin has been sleeping in his parents room with a baseball bat for protection.
"We're here." Mom said with a sigh of relief as they pulled into the Mall parking lot, which was full to the brim as giant banners, signs, flags, posters, inflatables, Cheerleaders, mascots shaped like School Supplies, a roller coaster and a ROCK CONCERT,and even the wall was painted to say: BACK TO SCHOOL SALE!
"Okay now this is just to much hype." Calvin muttered.
"No not yet." Hobbes said as he looked up, than Five big planes trailing banners saying 'Back to School Sale' and giving the Malls Address followed by a blimp doing the same thing with an electronic board on it flew past.
"Okay NOW it is too much hype." Hobbes said as Mom looked up.
"Huh the planes are new."
Then a loud crash was heard followed by a big boom, and a guy parachuted in the parking lot.
"Make that WERE new." Mom deadpanned while Calvin looked out the window.
"SWEET, SOMEBODY GET ME A ROCK AND A SLINGSHOT!" He cheered happily.
"How DOES one crash a plane like that?" Hobbes asked. "I mean really who on earth would try to fly upside down and backwards with a banner trailing from the Propeller like that?"
"I don't know maybe they hired Launchpad or something."
Mom meanwhile was less thrilled with the plane goings on as Calvin was and was currently trying to find a parking spot. "Well this is JUST GREAT!" She said with a groan. 'It never fails- I wake up at 4:00 AM, wake Calvin up at 4:30, and leave the house by 5:00 and get here at 6:30...AND THERE ARE STILL NO PARKING SPACES!"
"It's like Black Friday for moms." Hobbes said. "And Susie."
"LOOK AT THAT!" Mon screeched jerking to a stop. "There is some guy there just sitting in a parking space sticking his tongue at at everyone!" True enough there was a man in his Pajamas in the parking space, he already had shopping bags full of stuff but he was just sitting there laughing and pointing and sticking his tongue out at everyone.
"HEY MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!" Mom yelled out. The guy than preformed a very rude finger gesture. Mom let out a gasp.
"What does that mean?" Calvin asked. He didn't get an answer as Hobbes leaned out the window, the second the guy saw him he grinned and pulled out a can of tuna… and than smashed it onto the ground, then gave Hobbes the rude gesture and laughed.
Hobbes suddenly got out of the car and walked over to the car. "Wait what's he doing?" Mom asked.
Calvin just grinned. "Something I am sure that will get you a parking space, Mom."
In less than a second the guy was suddenly pulling out at the speed of light and drove off, Mom, while confused was happy, and pulled into the Parking space, Hobbes was standing right next to it...with the guy's sleeve in his mouth. He promptly spit it out.
"I gotta tell you," he said as Calvin and Mom got out of the car. "That guy does NOT get out that much. Those pajamas were RIPE! I need some mouth wash."
"Oh lighten up you didn't need to bite into sleeve just to scare him." Calvin scoffed as they walked toward the entrance.
"Who said anything about the sleeve?"
They walked into the store, where they saw that they weren't the ONLY ones who were dragged into shopping by their mom. Up an aisle, they saw their new friends, Sally and Althea- the she-tiger happened to be picking fabric out of her fangs. "Honestly, some people have no sense of hygiene," she was muttering.
"At least you helped Mom get the last bag of cookies," Sally said, then rubbed her chin. "By the way, don't you think you should cut down on them? You're starting to get a little large,"
"Watch it, Sal, otherwise I'll talk your mom out of making fried shrimp for dinner!"
Calvin grimaced. "Ew, you eat fried shrimp?" he asked Sally.
"Yeah, I happen to like seafood. I figured Althea would, too, being a tiger and all… but she prefers to eat cookies, pizza, or any other junk food, and is always making gross comments about dinner… sometimes thinking it's alive." Sally said.
Calvin scratched his head. Why did that sound familiar?
Hobbes rolled his eyes sightly.
"Hey, you eat junk food too!" Althea sneered at Sally.
"Yeah, but I'm not always trying to sneak off with a bunch of snacks. You eat them more than I do… and it's starting to show."
"Hey, watch what you say about my girlfriend, Sally. She happens to be quite petite," Hobbes scoffed, and Althea smiled at him.
"But in the car you were saying how big she was getting and had to go on a diet!" Calvin piped up.
Althea gave Hobbes a glare. "WHAT?!" she snapped, then began to brawl with him.
"Tiger Brawl, Aisle 9," An employee said over the speaker, though everyone passed by, ignoring the tigers.
Hobbes and Althea had quite an on/off relationship… mostly 'off' as they tended to get into brawls (Althea winning most of them- the rest being draws when Althea remembered one of her favorite TV shows was on), yet still Hobbes was in love with her…
"Hey, can we get back to the story before we lose the audience with the talk of romance?" Calvin demanded, referring to the previous paragraph. "Let alone before I vomit."
"Yeah, guys, stop flirting with each other. We've got a plot to get to," Sally added.
Althea pinned Hobbes, then whacked him unconscious with a random frying pan. "Coming," she said, following Sally down the aisle to catch up with her mom.
Calvin helped Hobbes up. "You have quite a way with women, don't you Casanova?" he quipped.
"But mommy, I don't wanna wear the pink dress…" Hobbes said, a bit dazed. ",I WANNA WEAR THE BALLERINA SUIT!"
Calvin shook his head. "Mom, get the aspirin. Althea beat Hobbes senseless again," he sighed… but didn't receive an answer. "Mom?" he looked around, looking into the next aisle, but didn't see her anywhere. "Oh, crud…"
They walked around the store, Hobbes slowly coming out of his daze. "Anyone get the number of that pan that hit me?" he asked, then looked around. "Hey, where's your mom?"
"That's what I want to know." Calvin looked around, even going as far as checking the School Supplies aisle, where he figured she would be, but didn't see her. They walked out of the store after having zero luck, and decided to look around the rest of the mall. "This is just like that time we got lost at the zoo."
"'We'? As I recall, YOU were the one who wandered off with another woman who you mistook for your mom, and went to the other tigers for help."
"Oh, shut up and keep looking! She's got to be around here someplace."
"Maybe we should go to the Lost and Found section, or ask a security guard for help."
"Do I LOOK like a sissy?"
Hobbes paused, rubbing his chin. "Well…."
"Never mind! Look, we'll just walk around a little more until we find her. What could go wrong?"
Hobbes tail got all bushy. "…do I really have to answer?"
"C'mon, we can go to the Comic Book shop. Mom's smart enough to know we prefer hanging out there rather than some crummy Back To School sale."
They walked to the comic shop, where they saw Derek and Burned Out Star working, the two teens keeping their distance from each other. Derek gave them both a nod, though Burned Out Star only ignored them. The two had gotten a job at the shop, and were as excited to go back to school as Calvin was. They had been caught by Police while out looking for One of Calvin's Monsters and were shipped back to their parents.
But they still have close Contact with Spiff and the fives Calvin's who they were GLAD to get away from.
"Hey, the new Captain Napalm issue is here!" Calvin pulled out the comic book, while Hobbes browsed along.
The tiger paused just then, tapping Calvin on the shoulder. "Uh, Calvin? Look."
"What is it?" Calvin looked over…
Then screamed bloody murder.
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CLIFFHANGER!
Read and Review and No Flames OR ELSE!