The biting chill of the outside wind didn't faze Jane. The only effect it had was making her pull a little tighter at the coat around her waist. She didn't care that the harsh breeze was whipping her hair around. All she could think of was Maura. Her lips still felt the pressure and desperation of that kiss. Where did all of that go in less than five minutes?

Angrily, Jane pushed passed faceless bodies in the beacon hill area. She walked for longer than she cared to calculate. It would be getting dark soon and she had to find a way home. Slipping into a small 50's themed diner, Jane found a secluded table. She pulled out her cellphone, remembering the conversation she had just had with her mother. Why did I lie for Maura when she did nothing but lie to me?

Tapping quickly on the touch screen she dialed Frosts's number. Maybe he would come get her.

The phone rang five times before a distracted voice came on.

"Jane?" Frosts's voice was distant, drowning in the sounds of a party going on in the background.

"Frost! Hey, I need to ask you something." Jane replied.

The sound of air and tapping could be heard for a few seconds before everything got pretty silent. "Okay. Sorry about that, I'm in the bathroom now so I can hear you."

"Okay, I have a favor to ask."

"What is it?"

"Could you come pick me up from the Ponsmere?" Jane asked, nervous that this friendship had also perhaps suffered because of her recently made choices.

"The Ponsmere? Jay, that's like half hour away. Why are you over in Beacon Hill?" Frost's's voice was clear and judgmental but somehow Jane still knew that he would come help her.

"It's a long story," Jane chuckled. "I promise to tell the whole thing when you get here."

frost laughed. "It better be a damn good story, Rizzoli."

…

Maura's fingers grazed the door as she listened to Jane's angry footsteps march down the drive way. She looked down, running an anxious hand through her hair. Then, she was pissed.

She was pissed at herself, pissed at Charlie, even pissed at Jane. It wasn't her fault that Jane didn't understand just how deep and dangerous the hole they dug was. And it wasn't her fault that she wasn't willing to risk her job again for her. And that is when Maura became angry with herself. Of course you're willing to risk this stupid fucking job for her. She's special Maura, and you know it.

Maura felt like talking to her old good friend Bee. They haven't seen each other a lot lately because Bee moved across the city to work at an accounting firm a few months ago. For one who was so good at numbers, Bee was never one for logic. Maura liked that though. She liked that Bee could over think what was supposed to be right and encourage her to follow her heart. Of course-this was also a treacherous mind set.

With her emotions ablaze, she called her old friend.

"Hello, Bee Williams, Freedmen Accounting." A warm voice answered not two rings later.

"Hi-hi." Maura wasn't prepared for how cracked her voice would sound. She forgot she had been crying. "It's Maura."

"Maura?! Oh my god! How have you been?"

"Do you want to get dinner and catch up?" Maura asked, trying to keep control of her quivering bottom lip. She knew she sounded desperate, quick.

Maura could hear the distinct sound of a keyboard's keys being typed. "Of course."

"Our normal place?"

"See you there at 7." Bee replied excitedly.

Maura let out a breath of relief. "Thanks, Bee."

Maura hung up the phone, her mind still racing. She wanted to call Jane, tell her that she would throw her on the bed right now if that would fix the things she said. But she knew that wouldn't be enough- and she knew she couldn't do that either.

…..

"Thank you so much, Frost." Jane said as she plopped into the passenger seat.

Frost looked at his friend. She looked disheveled and exhausted.

"What's happened to you?" Frost asked as she began to pull out of the parking lot of diner.

Jane huffed out a breath. She knew that she would have to tell Frost the story but she still didn't know how to start it. She just let her mouth begin to form words. "You know Ms. Isles?"

Frost gave her a curious look. "Yea, of course. Why?"

"I was here to see her."

"Why?" Frost asked. "There's such thing as email if you need to turn in a late assignment."

Jane bit her bottom lip anxiously. "This isn't about homework, frost."

"Then why did you come all the way out here to see her?"

"I'm going to tell you, Frost- but you can't tell anyone else."

….

The black dress Maura was wearing very well hid all the insecurities racking her insides. Her and Bee's "normal place" was a high classy Italian restaurant and Maura had completely forgotten this until about two minutes after she had ended the phone call. Because of this she was forced to dress to the nines when she felt like zero.

Bee had already arrived. She was dressed in a nice red dress- the one that was most envied by Maura. Maura had always said it went amazingly with Bee's dark black hair and piercing green eyes.

Maura approached the table that she was led to by a waiter. When Bee saw her, she stood up and gave Maura a tight hug.

They both sat down and ordered their respective wines.

"I can't believe how long it's been." Bee smiled as her eyes gazed the menu that she basically already knew by heart anyway.

Maura watched her as she took her own menu into her hands. "I know! I just really though that we needed to catch up."

"Oh, you know I don't believe that for a second." Bee winked. "I know the real reason you called me- you have a problem that needs fixing."

Maura rolled her eyes with a chuckle. "How did you know?"

"I know you." Bee replied quickly. "Alright then, get on with it."

"Can I order my wine first?" Maura joked nervously.

"Sure," Bee responded. "But I want to hear every detail of whatever is bothering you."

…

"That's real life shit, Jay." Frost responded when he finally stopped reeling from what his best friend had just told him.

"I know." Jane hid her face in her hands.

"You know how many guys at school want to be you right now?!"

"I know!" Jane shook her head, further sinking into her seat.

"Okay, well…" frost said calmly. "Do you love her?"

Jane looked out the window, observing the light snowfall. "I don't know."

"Well… does she love you?"

"No." Jane answered too quickly. "If she did, I would still be with her."

Frost glanced at his best friend. He could see how much this was tearing his friend apart. "I think she does. She wouldn't start this if it didn't mean anything to her."

Jane sat up in her seat. "That's just the problem! I don't know who really started this."

"Didn't you say she brought you to her house?"

"Yes, but…"

"And didn't you say that she kissed you first?" Frost continued.

"Yea, she did, but…"

"No buts!" Frost responded enthusiastically. "She wanted you. Probably still does."

Jane sighed. "But you don't understand- she blew up today. She said that she wasn't willing to risk her job. She basically told me that I wasn't worth it. And you know what? I don't disagree. She shouldn't risk her job for me. What can I offer her?"

…

"I mean," Maura said with a mouthful of pasta. "What can I offer her? She's going off to college next year, if that's even what she has in mind, she wants to be a police officer. She'll meet plenty of girls her own age and I will no longer be 'exciting' and 'experienced'," She put up air quotes. "I'll be old and tied down. I won't be what she wants in five months so what is the point?"

"I just want to know how you got into this position again." Bee said, accepting her second glass of wine from the waiter's silver plate. "I thought that the Charlie thing turned you off to any kind of forbidden love."

"It should have!" Maura responded. "It should have. I'm stupid. I'm a teacher, Bee. Why did I think for a second that kissing her would be okay?"

"You really like her, that's why." Bee replied matter-of-fact. "You really like her, just like you liked Charlie, and you're afraid."

"Of course, I am. I'm terrified." Maura said, resting her head in her hands.

"Did you tell her that?"

Maura looked up from her hands, a distant gaze in her eyes.

"I told her that she scares me." Maura said with the first real chuckle of the night.

Bee nodded her head. "That's a start…"

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