STILL OWN NOTHING!

*Sobs*

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The next Day.

The next day was one of dreaded fear, for some anyway,

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"

For most on the street it was the wake up call.

Calvin charged down the stairs still clad in his pajama's, his mother after him as he tried to out run her. "REMBMER THAT PALCE IN TEXAS!" Calvin yelled as he dove under the coffee table.

Mom flipped it over with an angry grunt. "Calvin this isn't up for debate!"

"YES IT IS WATCH!" Calvin shouted as he ran once more.

"GET BACK HERE!" Mom shouted as she chased him into the kitchen, where Hobbes was getting a glass of orange juice. "And thus the 180 day ritual begins." He said with a grunt.

Calvin shot in between Hobbes's legs, as he ran, into his grip.

"HOBBES WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Calvin demanded. "LET ME GO DO YOU WANT MOM TO CATCGH ME!?"

"Yes." Hobbes said so plainly you could just FEEL the monotone.

"Well you're in a chipper mood." Calvin commented. "Why did you get up so early?"

Hobbes than got into his face. "Do you really want that answer Calvin, or do you want me to SHOW YOU why?"

Calvin gulped but put on a brave face. "Yes."

Hobbes than put Calvin in front of a mirror, and then pointed to him. Calvin blinked. "Why yes Hobbes I look handsome today thanks for noticing."

Hobbes faceplamed, splattering orange juice all over his face in the process.

"GGGAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY EYES, THEY BURN,THEY BURN!" Hobbes shouted as he stumbled back, tripped, fell on his back, got up smashed his head into a pot, got his HEAD stick in the pot, got his other hand stuck to the pot's handle, slipped, and feel out the window.

Calvin stared not even notching that his mom was dragging him upstairs.. "Well now THAT"S how every morning should start, orange juice with a nice big helping, of slapstick!"

"I hate you." Hobbes said as he climbed back through the window.

After a long period of yelling, biting, scratching, clawing, peeing, eating, playing, screaming, slapping, tom and jerry watching, bean filled whack bonk to the face, a cameo by the Nostalgia Critic, and trying to shred clothing, Calvin was in his uniform standing out by the bus for school.

"I don't believe this!" Calvin said.

"I know," Hobbes commented. ", that outfit really doesn't match you at all."

"THIS IS RIDCULOUS," Calvin shouted causing everything to shake. "I mean what have I done to deserve this, I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!"

Hobbes than pulled out some of his list. "4,546: Wrote the script for Les Miserable's , 245: Ate the last cookie and blamed me, 1.456: Is the Reason why Fangface yet to be released on DVD," , 123:,"

"HE'S WHAT!?" A Voice shouted causing both of them to jump,

Then, the Co author stormed over murder in her eyes as she grabbed Calvin. "WHAT DID YOU DO IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE IT NEVER GOT OUT ON DVD, BY GOLLY YOUR"RE GONNA UNDONE IT AND/OR TELL ME OR SO HELP ME GOD I AM GOING TO!

Before she could finish and take this story to an M rating, she was suddenly hit in the back with several thousand tranquilizer darts in the back.

"Gooooooooo…to…sllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppp pp….duhhhh pretty wainbows dipped in bonker's fur flavored pretzel filled cream puffs."

She slurred as she fell back into her boyfriend's arms and was dragged offset, as she left a thin trail of drool.

"Well okay that was weird." Calvin said Cleary terrified, "And I suddenly have to need to change pants."

Hobbes blanched. "Okay that was more terrifying than the psycho girl!"

"Never mind let's just get back to the plot before the Author kills us!" Calvin said, not knowing that the author was on ice…butt we are SO NOT TELLING HIM THAT!

Hobbes than looked back at his list. "123: 3 words: TRANSFORMERS KISS PLAYERS,"

"Okay, okay, you've made your point, but I swear if this is punishment there is only ONE way it could get worse!" Calvin said.

Then Susie came walking up the street, wearing her uniform. "Hi Hobbes,"

"Hey it got worse!" " Hobbes muttered.

Calvin suddenly got on his knees, and then pulled out his bull horn.

He turned it on andddd…. It exploded in his face.

"What the?" He asked as he looked and noticed a firecracker, stuffed in there by Hobbes.

"It was either a repeat of what happened ion Chapter 3 of the LAST fanfic…or something unexpected." Hobbes said.

Susie rolled her eyes. "Well nice to see you too Calvin, so are you ready for school, I'm so excited we are finally going to go to Second Grade, it feels like we have been in first grade for 27 years!"

She was so busy in talking about the joys of school…she didn't notice that Calvin looked ready to kill.

"hoo boy," Hobbes said praying that there was a way to shut up Susie before there was a massacre., thankfully he saw one walking toward them.

"SALLY, ALTHIEA!" HE shouted at the top of his lungs to get Calvin's attention. Calvin and Susie snapped up to see the duo walking toward them, neither looking pleased.

"That Uniform looks dumb." Althea said with a grunt. "Seriously , that person needs to be shot!"

"While I agree, to an extent," Sally said. "At least it's not as bad as the one I had to wear to *gulp* Fluffy Pillows academy!" She said.

"Oh yeah your pre School, with the Ball gown made out of Pillow cases, and EVERYTHING had to bed made out of pillows….even your diaper! "

"Yeah let's not go there." Sally said, as they got there as the bus pulled up.

Calvin looked at Hobbes. "Later Hobbes." He said, as he hugged him. "Bye Calvin I'll see you around Three….depending on traffic."

The two laughed as Calvin boarded the bus, Sally and Althea barley shared a wave, and then the Bus pulled away, until it was out of sight…

Hobbes sighed and looked at Althea. "So what was that about Pillow case diapers?"

Althea grinned. "I've got pics." She said holding up the photo's.

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Meanwhile at the school Mrs. Wormwood pulled up into her parking space with a happy sigh. "Ah, a new day for a new school year, and even better with no Calvin, this year couldn't be better!"

She was all ready to sing and skip gleefully, thankfully someone cut her off.

"Morning Mrs. Wormwood." Mr. Spittle said as he walked over. "how was your summer?"

"Wonderful!' She said happily. "I can finally relax peacefully from here on out!"

Mr. Spittle chuckled. "So have you heard about Hobbes yet?"

Mrs. Wormwood blinked. "I would prefer it if Calvin's stuffed tiger wasn't brought up, or Calvin at all in fact." She said.

"Well you should because Hobbes is no longer stuffed, he's real." Mr. Spittle said. "Trust me I know they charged through my yard on a wagon and took out the Mrs."

"Mr. Spittle I highly doubt that it was probably just Calvin by himself and the STUFFED tiger."

"Well either way Mrs. Deanawehporical, saw him and then found out that Calvin was in her class…last I checked she just passed training to become a Navy SEAL."

"Wait..so she quit then, but who will teach the class?" She asked, inside she was going, "pleasedon'tbemepleasedon'tbe,pleaseDON'TBEME!"

"Well luckily we found an applicant just last week, and she has been hired, she is a bit younger, but I'm sure she can get the job done."

Right as he said that they heard loud Techno Music playing as they saw a Motor cycle sped toward them, as the cycle charged toward the second grade classroom, it waved as the rider slowed it down and then smashed it into a parking space, not damaging it at all, and the rider went sailing with a cry of "WA HOO!" into the classroom, with a CRASH!

"I'm okay!" a female voice called out.

Both Teacher and Principle stared in after her, and than she looked at Mr. Spittle.

"WHO ON EARTH WAS THAT!?". She shouted.

Mr. Spittle let out an exasperated sigh. "That was,"

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"Belle, Mchelle, or you can just call me Ms. Mchelle." Belle said, now dressed in a T-Shirt with Fangface on it, and jeans, as she wrote her name on the board.

"Welcome to 2nd Grade, I hope to have a great year!" She said happily, Cleary hiding sarcasm.

Calvin blinked, she had a VERY clear resemblance to the Co author, even acted like her in some aspects, he began looking around wondering if there was a look alike of the author in the room but he saw none so he looked back at his teacher.

Belle now sat on her desk as she grinned. "This is my first time teaching here and I am….not that all excited but it pays well so WHO CARES!"

Susie blinked and then raised her hand.

"Yes you the boring one who is REALLY close to my desk." Belle said as Susie gave her an annoyed look.

"I thought that teachers were severely underpaid?" Belle gave her a look that said, kid if this were not school I would so tie you up by your toes over a pool of Calvin's "Well yes but since this class is SOO special, I'm getting a TRUCK LOAD of cash!"

"What's so special about this class?" Ronald asked despite already guessing the answer.

"It has Calvin in it." Belle said not even flinching as she filed her fingernails.

"HEY I RESENT THAR REAMRK!" Calvin shouted as everyone rolled their eyes.

"oh yeah, prove it?' Belle said. "I've heard A LOT about you Calvin, from the salamanders in the underpants, to the noodles."

"NO ONE CAN PROVE HAT I WAS FRAMED!"

Belle rolled her eyes.

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Meanwhile Outside, school had only just begun so the doors were still unlocked. Two figures walked up to them and pushed them open.

They were dressed in trench coats, fedoras and sunglasses and were Cleary just Beth and Cal-R wearing Trench coats Fedoras and Sunglasses.

They walked around a corner and they saw Belle's room, where she and Calvin were having a….frank exchange of words.

"TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT FANGFACE!" They heard a shout cry.

"My scanners detect that Calvin is in that room, shall we proceed with Plan B?" Cal-R asked. "No,. you have no weapons installed yet, besides Plan A, has yet to fail." Beth said.

They walked down the hallways until they saw a door marked with the words. "COMPUTER LAB."

"There it is." Beth said grinning. She looked at Cal-R. "You know what to do."

Cal-R nodded and walked over to the door and promptly…ripped it off its hinges.

"You idiot, I thought that I told you not to get us caught!" Beth said.

"You said remove door and nothing else." Cal-R said. "Besides I did it as quietly as possible." It said as it than threw it aside and a loud crash was heard off screen.

Beth groaned. "Let's just get this over with."

The two walked in and saw rows upon rows of Laptops the school had recently purchased they were all made by apple, and had yet to be programmed.

Beth grabbed two and grinned. "It's like taking candy from a baby."

"HEY WHAT ARE YOU KDIS DOING!?" A gruff voice yelled. Beth jumped and Cal-R stood there motionless.

"RUN!" Beth shouted as she tied to look for an exit, but instead Cal-R grabbed her like a foot ball and charged right towards the wall burst out of it, into the hallway,. And ran through the next wall and outside.

There was a loud, cough and a wheeze and the old janitor cleared his throat and surveyed the damage. "Geez." He said. "What do they give that kid; he's as strong as a metal robot."

He stared at the door. , picked it up and set it back in place, and than put a note saying. "MOUTH OF MORDER! On it, and he quickly crossed out the M's and the H and walked off whistling.

Idiot.

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HOORAY I MADE SHORT FILLER :D

So wahy did Beth and Cal-R steal that computer.

What will happen next?

Will Belle beat the ever loving snot of Calvin, TUN IN FIVE WEEKS LATER!

No seriously that's when the next chapter starts.

No flames..or else I subject them to watching Les Miserable's MUHAHAHAH!