Chapter 8: Finding Home
Dean wasn't sure how long he sat there on the beach with Fergus, crying into the hell hound but he was brought back to reality when something warm settled over him and he turned and curled into it. It was soft and feathery and almost burning warm. Taking a moment to compose himself he looked up to find Castiel standing over him, one of his large black wings draped over him like a blanket. The angel gave him a small smile and he managed to return it.
^You've been out here most of the morning. Are you alright Dean?^
"Yeah. I just...I felt like I was intruding so I came out here. I didn't want to be rude." Dean said softly, giving Fergus a good scratch. "I don't have anywhere else to go so I picked the beach. Seems safe enough to me."
^You didn't have to leave. You are family.^ Castiel said with a tilt of his head. ^We are supposed to take care of you too.^
Dean turned and half flopped over the hound, laying on him to better scratch his side. A sudden warm hand against the back of his neck startled him. He wasn't expecting the angel to touch him. The hand traced something on the back of his neck before pulling back. He turned to see Castiel looking at him funny.
"What's wrong?" Dean asked, a bit worried by the look he was being given.
^Dean are you aware of the mark on the back of your neck?^ Castiel asked, his voice shaking.
"You mean my claim mark?" Dean asked. "Dad said he put it there to keep me safe. That no demons would touch me as long as I had it."
^Claim marks are not done on the back of one's neck.^ Castiel said, his voice sharp. ^They are done near the junction of the neck and shoulder or over the heart. The back of the neck is used for sealing or binding.^
That had Dean sitting up a bit straighter. "Sealing or binding? Of what?"
^For example? It can be used to bind someone's memories so they can't access them. A seal can be used to close off a soul mate bond. Like ours.^ Castiel said softly. ^I can reach across to you but I can't feel you. You're there but not. It hurts. It hurts so bad.^
Green eyes went wide as Castiel suddenly collapsed, the angel's knees giving out. He managed to catch the angel and pulled him close to his chest. He was warmer then Gabriel; far too warm to be normal. Dean knew he couldn't carry the angel back to the house and Fergus couldn't carry them both. That left only one choice even thought he had never used his power to such an extent. Gripping the angel tightly to his chest he shimmered appearing in the living room of the house, his head pounding and something coming from his nose.
"GABRIEL! GABRIEL! HELP ME!"
Gabriel appeared suddenly and his gold eyes went wide at the sight of Dean clutching Castiel. He rushed forward and both hands went to grip the younger angel's face, cursing at the heat he felt there. Gabriel pushed his healing energy into Castiel, watching carefully as the flush slowly left his face and his breathing began to even out. Making sure that Castiel was fully stable Gabriel pulled away running is fingers through those ebony locks.
"I'm sorry Cassie." Gabriel whispered. "You just need to wait a little longer."
"For what?" Dean snapped, still holding the angel close. "What the hell happened to him?"
The blonde looked up at Dean, opening his mouth to say something but he closed it and stared at the hunter before reaching out to him and channeling his healing once more. "Your nose is bleeding. What happened?"
Dean pulled back, wiping his nose on the back of his hand. "Forget me! What the fuck happened to him? One second we were talking and the next he was collapsing!"
Gabriel looked back at Castiel, who was now in a light healing sleep curled up in Dean's arms. "He's felt nothing come through your soul mate bond in at least six months. His body is seeing it as the loss of a mate. It can be fatal in most cases but yours can be fixed."
"Then stop talking and fucking fix it!"
Sam came downstairs in a rush almost tripping. "Gabe! Cas, is he-"
"He's fine Sam. Just another fever. He collapsed this time." Gabriel said without turning to look as he was busy staring hard at the eldest Winchester. "Dean has him. We should take him upstairs."
"Want me to get him?" Sam asked coming closer.
Gabriel turned to look at his mate only to freeze as a silver angel blade blocked his vision. He dimly heard a worried noise from Sam as he turned back to find Dean glaring at him, his eyes black. Gold eyes flicked from the hunter, to the blade, and back. He could sense that Dean was both angry and confused. Angry at him for not listening and confused because he didn't know why he was so angry.
"Did you not hear me?!"
Gabriel nodded. "I heard you Dean. You told me to fix it."
"Then stop staring at me and fucking fix it you bastard!" Dean snapped, his blade moving closer to Gabriel's neck even as he pulled Castiel closer to is own body.
Sam made a noise and the archangel sent a wave of reassurance to him before answering the irate hunter. "I would love nothing more then to fix it Dean but in doing so I would need your permission because I need to go into your mind to undo the seal."
"You need to get into my head?" Dean asked skeptically.
"Yes. Which is why I said that Castiel would have to wait. You don't trust us. We were going to wait until you were more comfortable around us before telling you about the seal and bind." Gabriel explained. "To us you are family Dean, but to you, we are just strangers. We'd wait forever for you to be comfortable if that's what it takes."
Dean pressed the blade hard against the archangel's neck, nicking the skin slightly and drawing forth blood and Grace and making Sam tense. "Does it fucking look he's got forever?! I can feel his Grace! It's turning sour! He's dying!"
"I am aware." Gabriel gritted out.
"He's your brother!"
"Again I am aware of this."
"THEN FIX IT!"
Gabriel's eyes went wide at the force of the power he tasted behind those angry words. Flickering behind Dean was a pair of translucent black wings that were trimmed in gold. As the hunter calmed they began to fade away. A wave of confusion and a questioning came across from Sam and he sent back his own matching emotions. The blade bit again and Gabriel forced himself to focus on the problem.
"If you want me to fix this then you have to trust me. I'm going to need to kiss you to let my Grace connect with your bond to Castiel. Is this acceptable?" The archangel asked softly.
"Will it fix him?" Dean asked taking a second to glance down at the sleeping angel who's face was currently buried in his chest.
"It won't fix the whole problem but it will help." Gabriel said softly once he was sure the hunter was looking at him again. "It won't be fixed until you have your memories back entirely. I can do this today and the bind tomorrow."
Dean pulled the blade away. "Then do it. Now."
The blonde turned to look at his mate who seemed quite relieved that he was out of danger. The youngest Winchester nodded, knowing that his mate was asking if it was okay to kiss his brother. If it saved both Cas and Dean then the angel could do the naked tango with them if that's what it took. Gabriel let out a chuckle and Sam realized that Gabriel had picked up on that thought and he flushed. Shaking his head the angel turned back to Dean, who was staring at Castiel with a worried look.
Gabriel leaned forward and carefully pressed his lips against Dean's and let his Grace slip in. To his shock Dean suddenly grabbed him and deepened the kiss. Gabriel tried not to let it distract him but instead focused on breaking down the seal. It took a bit longer then he would have liked because, let's face it, it's hard to focus when someone is trying to remove your tonsils with their tongue. With one final hit with his Grace the seal that Crowley had erected fell.
Dean pulled back so suddenly from their kiss that the archangel lost his balance and almost face planted. Getting up Gabriel's gold eyes sought Dean's only to find them locked on Castiel. The hunter was staring at Castiel with a look of wonder and awe. He reached up and his fingers gently ran along the angel's cheek before coming down to gently touch his lips. Dean looked up at Gabriel and Sam, who was now sitting behind the archangel.
"He...He loves me." Dean said, his voice soft and slightly confused. "He really loves me."
"He loves you so much that he became a slave to Crowley just to live and be able to see you." Sam said. "He's died for you twice and I'm sure he'd do it again if you asked."
Dean looked back down at his mate, smiling softly before it turned to a frown. "Take down the binding. Now. I have to know. I need to know."
"I can't right now." Gabriel said, leaning back against Sam. "As sloppy as it was the seal was still a strong one. I need to rest first. Just let me eat and take a quick nap. I will take it down then. I promise."
Dean nodded. "He'll be better now right?"
Gabriel nodded. "You'll have to let him know the bond is open. He might overwhelm you a bit at first but just be careful with him. He's waking up."
Dean turned to look only to find sleepy blue eyes looking at him. "Hey. You okay? No more scaring me like that. I almost had a heart attack when you collapsed."
Castiel shook his head. "I'm sorry. I wasn't expecting my fever to spike suddenly." The angel went to move then he seemed to realize his position. "You're holding me."
Dean nodded. ^Can you hear me? Am I doing this right?^
Castiel's eyes went wide and he stiffened in the hunter's embrace. ^Dean? Is this real?^
^Yeah. Gabriel said this could save you. He actually said that it would help.^ Dean admitted and he reached up ad cupped the angel's cheek. ^I can't believe that you love me. It feels wonderful.^
Castiel suddenly leaned up and kissed Dean hard, much to the hunter's shock, but soon Dean was kissing back just as fiercely. It was only when Dean began pulling at Castiel's clothes that either of them seemed to remember where they were, as they were startled by Sam's sudden cry of protest. Castiel flushed and hid his face at the sound while Dean smirked when he realized why they had stopped kissing. Gripping his angel tightly Dean lifted him into his arms as if he weighted nothing.
^Where is your room?^
^Upstairs. Second on the right.^ Castiel said softly, resting against his mate.
Dean nodded and carried him up to the bedroom. Laying the angel down Dean joined him on the bed, kissing him once more but making no moves to further their engagements. Instead the hunter laid next to him, their kisses gentle, and explored their bond. Castiel let him, resting beside him and hiding nothing, letting out his wings to cover them both. It was several hours before either of them spoke again.
^This is amazing.^ Dean whispered. ^You weren't lying. You really are my mate.^
^And you are mine. Thank you for doing this for me. You didn't have too.^ Castiel said.
^It felt right. Just like when I kissed you.^ Dean admitted. ^You make me feel good things. And I feel this pull to you. I felt it since I first saw you. It's what made me approach you in New Orleans.^
^I'm glad you did. I've missed you. I know you still aren't my Dean yet but you are here and that is all that matters to me.^ Castiel said softly, curling up to his mate.
^Tomorrow...Tomorrow I will be. Gabriel will undo the bind. For now you should rest. You still taste sour. I'll stay with you.^
Castiel nodded and curled up against his mate. Their bond was open and filled with warmth. It didn't feel the same as before but it was still Dean. Dean was with him again and that was all that mattered. Closing his eyes Castiel began to drift, comforted by the presence of his mate.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Sam stared at his brother, watching as Dean fidgeted nervously in the circle he was in before looking around the room. Gabriel was kneeling next to Dean, drawing out the lines need to undo the bind. Bobby was standing next to Castiel, who was sitting in a comfortable chair. The angel was feeling better but his worry for Dean had spiked his fever once more so his brother had told him in no uncertain terms that if he was going to be present then he was going to have to sit. Castiel had glared but given in not wanting to let Dean go through it alone. Sam eyes went back to watching his brother who was now holding his nose as the archangel poured something onto the floor.
"You alright Dean?" Sam asked.
"No. This shit stinks. The hell did it come from? A sewer full of dead skunks?" Dean asked.
"I don't smell anything that horrible. It actually smells nice." Sam said with a frown.
"Frankincense and myrrh oils." Gabriel said dumping more of it onto the circle. "It makes demons uneasy. Doesn't smell good to them but it works the best for this. I'll make it up to you with a fresh pie of your choice."
Dean stopped moving. "No joke? Fresh pie? Like home made?"
"Yup." Gabriel said stepping back to double check his work. "Okay. Everything is set. Now whatever you do, don't fight what you feel. Just go with it. If you fight it will hurt. Just stay calm and remember that we won't let anything happen to you okay?"
Dean nodded and his gaze drifted to Castiel. "Okay. I'm ready."
Gabriel nodded and began speaking in a language that not even Castiel could understand. As he did he threw a handful of something green down onto the lines. The oils began to spark and blue smoke rose up and began to curl around the hunter. Dean gagged a bit at the smell before everything began to slowly blur. Time seemed to slow down and Dean felt weightless until he started feeling hot and his memories crashed into him like a bug on a windshield.
^*"Dean! Take your brother and go!"*
*"Dad's been on a hunting trip for a few days and he hasn't been home."*
*"Come on Sammy!"*
*"Whatever Bitch.
"Jerk.*
*You can't die Sammy. Come on! Don't do this!*
*"I love you boys like you are my own flesh and blood. Even if you are idjits."*
*"Who are you?"
"My name is Castiel. I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.*
*"Maybe you've always been an angel."
"A what?!"
"You step out of the holy fire and we'll call it our mistake."*^
*"This isn't about some prized fight between your brothers or some destiny that can't be stopped! This about you being too afraid to stand up to your family!*^
Dean fell to his knees, the back of his neck burned like fire, his head was pounding, blood rushed from his nose and tears flowed from his eyes. Everything hurt. He remembered and now he felt sick to his stomach. He was going to throw up. It was too much. Just like before. He felt something get pushed under him just in time to catch the contents of his stomach.
Finally done throwing up he shoved whatever it was and someone, thankfully, took it away. He felt so ashamed. He left to protect them and they ended up having to save him because he was careless. Looking up he found them watching him with hope and worry. He hadn't mean to make them worry or put his mate through hell.
"Guys...Sammy, Cas, Bobby, Gabe. I...I'm sorry. I...I never should have left."
"None of that matters now Dean-o. Al that matters is that you're home." Gabriel said. "You're back with your family."
Dean reached out was quickly engulfed in by his brother and mate with his father figure and adopted father both placing a hand tightly on his shoulders. He knew nothing was okay yet. It probably wouldn't be okay for a while not with Crowley chasing him. At this moment nothing else mattered because he was home.