***Author's Note***

Sorry for the wait :( busy busy with grown up life :(

There are no warnings for this chapter that I can think of, just angsty thoughts and a little fluff :)

Let me know what you think, and thank you to the new followers!

Chapter 40 – Uneven

Marie sat in the shower, the scalding water running in fast rivulets down her sore back and leaving red river beds in their wake. The steam filled her lungs and clung to the back of her throat. She didn't mind the temperature or the steam, they soothed her in the orange glow of her bathroom light. Her hand brushed her head where wet tufts and bald skin made her feel less than herself, more a shadow in her skin or a cracked mirror. She always had had a personal love for her hair; it was vain she knew, but she did. Its deep brown waves that toppled over her shoulders and down her back, heavy bangs would frame her pixie like face and flutter as her eyelashes caught the strands when she blinked. It had always been soft and shiny, but now a mangled mess was left a mockery of its former glory, like a great empire that had fallen.

She frowned, Thane had always loved her hair, his fingers would take their time as he got rid of every knot and snag, twirling it around and around. He would hold the strands to his nose to enjoy the smell of her shampoo and he would bury his face in them when they slept, breathing deep. Would he love her less now that she was without it? She didn't think so, but the fear was still there.

She shook her head and washed herself, gently brushing over sores and bruises with a soft flannel before rinsing the soap off and stepping out onto the warm bathroom floor. She dried herself and wrapped the towel around her breasts so that it hung of her in an attempt at modesty in case she stepped out into the hallway and ran into Kolyat, scarring the young drell for life no doubt. Before that though, she wiped the mirror hanging above the sink of its condensation and looked at herself.

Black and yellow bruising shadowed her eyes, and a swollen split lip stopped her from smiling or talking too much. She looked at her hair or its remnants anyway, and shuddered. Angry tufts stood up in spikes and yelled at her, the glimpses of skin looked raw from where the omni-tool had grazed her. It was so uneven.

"This has to end," she whispered to herself, "No more."

She took her razor from the sink edge and soaped up her hair and scalp. Gently, she pulled the razor over her head, straight down the middle so she couldn't back out. She kept going and going, the hair plugged the sink like a dark net, and still she kept going. Feeling with her free hand for any spot that was missed by the blade, she rinsed her scalp and looked back into the mirror, scared of what she might see.

It looked better for certain, almost like a deliberate fashion statement (if it wasn't for the sore bits), she allowed herself to grin. This could be the chance to become something new. Harder, stronger, and faster. She looked harder; her bone structure seemed more defined her eyes bigger and bolder. Is this what Jack thought of herself? The shaven biotic was definitely strong and fast and cold. I should get some tattoos…

For the first time in a few weeks she felt better, she stepped out of the bathroom with a new view. As she turned from the closing door she collided with Thane.

"Siha, you…" His large black eyes looked her over, first her face and then her scalp, "You look better." He smiled down at her and gently placed a hand on her upper arm, his thumb making comforting circles. "A new hair style, I see?"

Marie blushed, the redness rising high in her cheeks, she hoped it would pass for a flush from the shower, "Yeah," She ran a hand over the smooth skin, "Do you like it?" Her good feeling balanced on the edge of a cliff, Thane's response would judge which way it fell, into despair or elation?

He thought for a moment his gaze scrutinised every aspect of her new look, his eyes narrowed as he bought a finger to his chin. A thoughtful chirruping came from his throat, "I do. It suits you." Marie let out a full smile, ignoring the sting from her split lip as she wrapped her arms around Thane's waist and buried her face in his chest. She felt one of his arms around her back and the other cupped the back of her head as he gently rested his cheek on it. They stood like that for a couple of minutes until Marie started to shiver from being naked and damp with nothing but a wet towel around her.

She and Thane padded down the hallway to their bedroom. On the bed were some fresh warm pajamas, she didn't hesitate in pulling them on, swiftly followed by some socks. She flopped down onto the bed and looked up at her partner. He was wringing his hands, the red of his throat was dark, and he kept looking everywhere but her.

"Thane?" His eyes snapped to her with a small from that twitched, "What's wrong?" His nerves were making her nervous.

"I apologise, Siha, I'm simply wondering about something I need to do." He let himself relax and met her gaze evenly.

"Oh?"

He paused for a minute. Two minutes. Three-

"Wait here. Do not move, and do not eavesdrop." He said it with all seriousness so she nodded and he quickly rushed from the room.

She sat on her own, thinking about what it could be. Was something wrong? Had she done something? Visions of Thane coming back with wigs were so ludicrous that they had her laughing to herself. Actually laughing! She lay down and rested her head onto the pillow, the soft cotton felt odd on her scalp but she could get used to it. Her hazel eyes began to drift shut and she dozed.

It had been well over an hour before Thane had everything exactly the way he wanted it. First, he had researched human romantic settings and took guidance from the pictures he saw. He lit many candles around their living room, scattered throw pillows and blankets everywhere, and had two glasses with a selection of wines and champagnes to choose from. He wasn't sure which she would like because he had only ever seen her drink beers and ciders when she indulged in alcohol. He wasn't even sure if she would want alcohol, but the information he had found that normally wine or champagne was at hand in these circumstances. He had food ranging from pizza to extravagant pasta dishes (Italian foods were key it seemed) and chocolates (again, this seemed to be a must have). He then added his own particular flair to the setting, he dressed in loose clothing that showed of his throat and sides, he set the windows to show and beach at sunset, and played light slow music. He hoped this was okay as he set the ornamental box containing the arm bracelet he had bought weeks ago onto a side table, turning it slightly so that the semi-precious stones glinted in the candle light. He then sat onto one of the throw pillows, legs crossed and relaxed before pinging her a message that she could come in now.

No answer and no appearance.

He frowned, a fluttering erupting in his chest as his previous nerves came to life again. Padding quietly to their room, he thought that he'd find her crying again or staring into the mirror with a face of horror. Understandable reactions to what had happened, but she had been getting slowly better. He took a breath and opened the door.

The room was dark but he could see the shape of Marie on the bed, breathing deeply and slow. Asleep. He smiled as he watched her chest rise and fall lazily, her face completely relaxed and without worry. Thane climbed into the bed behind her and circled his arm around her waist, burying his face into the crook of her neck and taking a deep breath.

Shepard sniffed as he sat in his quarters, his hair over his face hid him from view but anyone could see that he was tired. Tired and afraid and heart broken.

The mission on Tuchanka (or missions – it had been a very long couple of days) had been trying and that was after the fuss on Sur'Kesh.
The salarian Councillor had asked Shepard to sabotage the cure for the mass sterilisation; Shepard had declined and went ahead with the original plan. He couldn't do that to the krogans, to Wrex, Eve, and Grunt. The guilt would have drove him insane. Mordin was with them after coming back onto the Normandy at Sur'Kesh to keep Eve safe and use her genetic makeup to supply the cure.

A Reaper had stood in their way as Reaper forces had been poisoning the krogan atmosphere through the shroud. Him, Garrus, Liara, and Javik had ran half blind through underground catacombs, and then a giant thresher maw - Kalros: the mother of all threshers - had taken out a truck that Urdnot Wreav had been driving. Then, they had to run around the Reaper and its forces as they tried to murder him and his team to use maw hammers that would summon Kalros to the Reaper's position, she had jumped the Reaper and dragged it down underground in a stunning and timely fashion.
He told everyone to back down while he entered the Shroud and took the elevator to the top floor where a device was waiting for them to disperse the cure. The Shroud was falling to pieces, fires erupting over its surface, they would have to be quick. Mordin was already there, attempting to stabilise the Shroud, Eve was alive and safe after providing what she could to them.
The tower was overloading and they wouldn't have been able to disperse the cure and get out in time. Mordin opted to stay behind and complete the mission, letting Shepard get out safely. He died and Shepard hated it.

There was then a bomb to deal with but compared to what they had just faced, it was child's play.

His mind was constantly replaying the events, lingering on the death of Mordin. No doubt someone was already writing his name on the memorial wall, under Miranda Lawson and all the rest that had died in duty.

At least some good had come from these past few days and Shepard decided he deserved a drink and a very long sleep and, since they were returning to the Citadel after a quick visit to Grissom Academy due to a Cerberus signals, maybe a little shore leave could be had by everyone.

His omni-tool pinged and he opened the message:

Shepard:

Making babies again will be fun. Soon as this war is over, let's just say I'll do my part to build our numbers back up. You really came through for us. I'm proud to call you my friend.

Eve is in the Kelphic Valley, enlisting support from the other clans and spreading the word. She's going to be a great leader. Most of the males won't like me sharing power with her, but too bad. I run the show.

We're off to save the turians now, since apparently they forgot how to hold a gun.

Wrex

"Uh…Commander?" Joker sounded a little nervous over the comm.

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Oh good, you weren't asleep," He perked up a little, "Just letting you know that we'll be at the academy in a couple of hours."

"Roger that, Joker, thanks." The comm clicked out and Shepard opened a beer and tilted his head back, letting the bubble scratch his throat as they went down, "So much for a sleep…" He pouted and lay back on his bed to wait.

A small ding woke Marie and she smiled as she felt Thane's warmth at her back. She squirmed her way closer into it; his arms tightened around her and his breathing tickled her ear. She opened her omni-tool and frowned at the early hour, it wouldn't be long before she would get up and start the day. Two messages blinked at her, one from Thane which asked her to go into the living area, he had obviously given up on that and joined her in bed, and another from Garrus letting them know that the Normandy would be back at the Citadel in just under a week.

She hummed to herself as she sat up, pulling on a vest and shorts before padding into the living room. She gasped at the sight of it, pillows and soft lighting from the approaching day cycle, burnt out candles of all kinds of jewelled colours, an ornate looking box sat on a side table. It was a curious thing made from a material she didn't think she had seen yet, similar to mother of pearl but black with shimmering hues of greens and blues. Deciding Thane must've dug it out from somewhere, she walked to the kitchen and started making her morning coffee, measuring out the sugar and milk to exactly the way she likes it.

"Siha," She turned with the spoon hanging out of her mouth, Thane was stood in his loose pants and baggy shirt that was cut out along his sides and dipped low, revealing his chest. He was holding the curious box, "I have something I would like to ask you, I had meant to do it last night but I wasn't going to wake you."

Marie's heart pounded in her chest, she could hear it in her ears, her hands began to sweat, "Wh-what is it?" She mumbled. She knew what it was but she wanted him to say it.

Thane took a deep breath and paused for a few moments, wondering on the best way to get the words out.

"Will you-"

Alarms started blaring, amber lights shone through the windows and above their front door. Thane quickly placed the box down and ran to their weapons cupboard, Marie close behind him. They deftly got into more appropriate clothing and equipped themselves with weapons and their choice pieces of armour. Thane shrugged on his long leather coat.

The Citadel was under attack.

Let me know what you think :)