I own Calvin and Hobbes as much as I own a car!...I own neither
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Trapped and alone.
Such is life it seems, in the life of a Private eye however, this is part of my daily routine.
On the trace of the organization with a really dumb Acronym, I was attacked by a goon with a sever case of IliketohitpeopleovertheheadItis. When he hit, I felt stars in my eyes and when I looked up, I indeed saw the stars, and then I passed out.
The name is bullet, Tracer Bullet, I'm a Private eye, and right now my eyes are telling me that I am in a Dark Room, tied up, with a couple a goons staring at me.
"Hey SHUT UP!" One of Tracer's guards said to him. "This isn't a film noir ya know, you don't have to talk like you're from the 1920's!"
Tracer stared at them and scowled. "You should know, that it is very very rude to interrupt a Man's Monologue like that."
The guard stomped over to him. "Man, you're more like a kid!"
"I've got a 40 year old lust for solving crimes trapped in the body of a Six year old with a very crazy imagination, being a kid is just a cover." Tracer stated matter of factly.
The Guard rolled his eyes and sniffed.. "Yeah sure, just a cover." he said chuckling.
"You do of course realize that I am one of the top Private eyes in the nation, and that I have access to classified information, which means that the Feds can and will probably be looking for me."
"That is one of the reason's we want you here." A feminine voice as Tracer saw a door open and the room filled with light. "GAH BRIGHT LIGHT!" he shouted as the light filled his eyes, and temporarily blinded him and everyone else in the room.
"MY EYES!"
"I CANNOT SEE!"
"MOMMY!"
"SOMEONE TELL ME WHY WE CHOSE SUCH BRIGHT LIGHTS!?"
After Several minutes everyone had regained their sight and Tracer finally saw who was running the whole operation, a young woman in her mid twenties who was wearing a Grey Business suit, and had a prosthetic arm, leg and a few of her right fingers were Prosthetic as well. Her hair was dark brown, and it hung down to her shoulder neatly.
"Oh great the Terminator." Tracer said as he glared at her. "So, you're the floozy who's holding me hostage, well listen up dame, I'm not spilling the beans ya hear?"
The lady glared at him and then smacked him across the face. "Don't you dare that up that sort of language with me young man!"
Tracer glared back at her hate in his eyes "What are you, you're definitely not my mother...in fact technically since I'm imagination brought to life I don't have one." He said as he looked at her. "So Dame your not my mother, stop acting like it!"
The Woman gave tracer and ugly scowl and then backhanded him with her Prosthetic hand knocking his sideways. Spit flew from Tracers mouth and he shot his head back to glare at her once more, now both had matching scowls. Tracer then took the time to look around the room, looking at everything seeing that he was in a white room, with only the chair he was in as the only thing in there. "Nice place you've got here, some padding on the walls and a few straight jackets and you guys would be at home." He said sarcastically, he then saw that the P.O.O.P.Y Agents behind her glaring though the guards were holding back laughter. Tracer, looked back up at his captor.
"Sorry I couldn't resist." He said with a dry chuckle. "So you want my classified info eh? Well I'm-"
"We are not interested in that!" The woman shouted, cutting him off before he could continue speaking. "We were going to kidnap you enemy but since you fell right into our hands it made things easier, but what we actually want is, your body for it's rank!" She said staring down at him.
Tracer stared up at her, his eyes wider than dinner rendered speechless by what she had just said to him. "I….I think you're a bit old for me lady." He said. "I'm flattered but still wow that came fast."
The won stared back him and arched an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?" She asked a bit stunned, until she thought it over and gasped, suddenly plunging her hand and wrapping it around Tracer's neck. The detective grunted, until he felt electricity shoot through his neck. Tracer, suddenly lurched up and stifled a loud and pained scream as the pain coursed into his body, he rose up in his seat as he felt the pains increase slightly as if she wanted him to scream but he refused to give her the satisfaction and clenched his teeth, and bit his tongue until at last she removed her hand and placed it on her hip, frowning in anger.
"Hmm I must need to get this thing retuned that setting usually has them begging…" She paused then whipped around and then grabbed one of the guards and shocked him as well, within Seconds the guard was screaming in agony and the woman held onto his neck for a bit before he finally was dropped to the ground a convulsing wreck. The woman sniffed and looked back at Tracer whom she now realized was slightly convulsing himself. a Dark chuckle escaped her lips as she strode back over to the captive detective.
"You are a resilient one aren't you?" She purred softly. "Unlike the person whom you spawned off of, you don't seem to give in, and neither do the other two."
Tracer's head snapped up in fear. "What have you done to Spiff and Stupendous Man?" He said, with a slight hint of fear in his voice. "And how do you know how the kid acts?" He demanded, the kid being Calvin.
Laughter is what came out of the woman's mouth next and Tracer stared her down once more. "Just like you we have out own PI'ss who have been looking into you guys for almost 3 months, and Calvin at least a few years."
Tracer scoffed and then narrowed his eyes at her. "So you're the gestapo." He said with a sneer.
The woman scowled at him once more. "We are not like the Nazi's at all." She said, placing a hand on her chest and gave off a prideful look. "We are helping parents raise their children to be correct and proper citizens of the country.
"I don't want to know the name of the british nuthouse that you escaped from do I lady, you sound like a british villain with the ability of hypnosis!" Tracer spat at her, "I've encountered people like that and they were better than you!"
he saw the woman's bro furrow in anger as she clenched her prosthetic fist once more and he heard the mechanical servo's whine in protest as she did so. Tracer snickered he had this all in the bag.
The Woman reared back her hand, ready to strike him and brought her hand down toward his neck,only for Tracer to move so she grabbed the ropes that were holding his body down. Electricity coursed through the ropes shocking Tracer a bit, but it was all to his plan as the cords began to blacken and turn charred and with that Tracer broke out his fist and sucker punched the woman right in her left eye.
She tumbled back in shock as Tracer leapt from the table and onto one of the lights that was hanging from the ceiling. The guards grabbed several tasers and aimed them up toward him and fired their plugs at him. Tracer aimed the light do that way it caught them and shattered the glass as the two agents with the woman, fired their own weapons toward Tracer who swung around with the light narrowly missing their shots, and then he jumped off and sailed down, nailing both of them in the head with separate kicks. As he landed on the ground, he turned toward the rushing guards.
"Ya know fella's I like you so here's my friend he's been aiming to meet you both!" Tracer exclaimed as he whipped out his gun much to the surprise of the two guards as the detective fired several shots in their direction causing both to dive for cover, which as the chair that Tracer had beens strapped to, as they did the Woman uncovered her now blackened eye and glared at Tracer who stood there reloading his gun.
The Detective looked up at her with a smirk. and then aimed his weapon at her. "I wouldn't move dame, you may be fast and have the gadgets but they won't do you any good when six rounds of lead are being pumped into what's left of your body."
The woman glared at him and clehced her fgist once again. "This is what my mission is, to stop people from making things like you." She said and then raced toward Tracer arm outstretched, ready to wrap it around his throat. But the Young detective lept to the side as she raced past, directly into the door. With a scream the woman smashed her face right into the door of the room that both her and Tracer were in. She stumbled back and held her nose and whirled back at the detective, right as he pointed his gun into the air and shot out the lights leaving the room pitch black.
The woman barely had anytime to adjust, when she heard Tracer running and then she felt someone kick her human leg out from under her, and then the sound of a gun firing shattered the knee of her prosthetic leg.
She fell to the floor as the door opened and light flooded in and she twisted her body, to see Tracer standing in the light grinning, a camera in his hands. "Here's lookin at you kid." He said mockingly as he clicked the camera several times and then ran off down the hallway, leaving her stirring in her own anger.
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Meanwhile a black SUV and van were making their way toward the P.O.O.P.Y base, inside the SUV the driver paid attention to the road ahead while in the backseat two agents sat, in between them was the unconscious and prone form of Beth, with a blindfold over her eyes for when she woke up. No one said anything was was protocol when dealing with unconscious prisoners as to make sure that they don't wake up. As they drove toward the base they went through the gate and into the parking lot where another group of agents were waiting for them.
I tell ya these guys make the Men in Black look like a bunch of cop rejects!
As the SUV pulled in the doors opened and the two agents came out, along with Beth slung over one of their shoulders. As they did this the van opened up and two more agents stepped out, followed by Cal-R, who came out with a glare of hatred in his eyes as the two agents escorted him out as he looked at the agents a glint of familiarity appeared on his face as he was lead over there.
"is this her?" The lead agent waiting asked as he strode over to where the two agents had Beth as they set her on the ground.
"Yes, this is the girl who there is a manhunt for, the one with the reward of 3,000 dollars." The agent who had slung her over the shoulder said with a noticeable smirk on his face. "Now maybe we can get some more funding."
The head agent smacked him. "Do not talk that way in front of the prisoners your moron!" he said angrily, his eyes looked over toward Cal-R. "especially HIM, why is he here?" He said walking toward Cal-R. "Your orders were to get the girl, not the boy!"
"The boy was with her sir, and it's not even that." The agent that had been with Cal-R said as he reached down and tapped on cal-R's head and the sound of "Clunk, Clunk, Clunk." could be heard. "It appears to be an andriod modified to take on the appearance of the main target, no doubt a leftover from the girl's real fathers attempt at world domination."
"Ah somy work is known even here." Cal-R/William suddenly spoke up, making everyone jump back. "I am pleased to hear that, it means that at least someone took notice of my genius." He said as he crossed his arms and glanced up at the head agent.
The head agent gaped and then coughed. "It appears that she has made this automation to reflect her father's doubt due to missing him dearly."
William gave him a scowl. "My daughter has done nothing to this body, i did this all on my own, after all this robot is possessed after all." William said as a smirk grew onto his lips.
The agent rolled his eyes, only for them to bulge out as William, rose from Cal-R's body his form ethereal like and see thru, as he floated out, his legs were planted on the ground, as Cal-R's motionless body struck the ground as he stood before him, the other agents suddenly began pointing guns at/towards William who smirked as he looked around at them.
"Can we make this quick, I need to get back into my body before I am dragged off to the bad place."
The head agent waffled a little bit, and then regained composure. "Clearly a hologram, most likely made to fool us." He said with a sneer. "I suggest destroying the robot would be the best logical opti-ON!" he cried out, as William suddenly flew into his body. Then without warning, the head agent suddenly punched his own face. The other agents looked in surprise as their head agent suddenly smacked himself across the face.
"ummm Sir are you okay?" The tacky man asked stepping forward. "You seem to be getting crazy."
Before he could react the agent, suddenly grabbed the tacky man's belly. "And Leon's getting laaaarrrger!" he said as he shook the tacky agents belly.
"My name is rob dang it!" The tacky man said as William/the head agent looked him in the eye. "Are you out of line agent?" He demanded angrily. "Don't you know that it's better to use your official P.O.O.P.Y code name and that you are not allowed to use your real name….EVER!?"
Rob gu-
"And that goes for you two narrator!"
Sorry, I mean the tacky man gulped right as the head agent jumped back grabbed his pants and heaved up them really high and then bent over. With that William shot from the agent and into the body of Cal-R and he reawakened the robot. "Convinced?" He said, crossing his arms with a smirk on his face.
The Agent let out a loud wailing cry due to his wedgie.
Right then the head woman came out of the facility, being supported by the guards due to her leg having been shot.
"The Prisoner has escaped!" She called out to the other agents and they turned to her, and then she gawked as she saw her head agent screaming due to a very large wedgie and Cal_R/William approached her. She stared down and blinked and then looked up at heir with a smirk. "Oh nothing we just had a disagreement." He said with a chuckle and a dark smirk. The head woman stared down at him and then looked at the agents.
"I said capture the girl, NOT THE BOY, we are not ready for him yet!" She screamed at them in anger. "I cannot believe that none of you can follow a simple order like that!" She looked down at Cal-R who smirked at her once more.
"What are you so happy about?" SHe said angrily as she galred at him. She reached out her electrocuting hand, only for Cal-R to suddenly fall to the ground lifeless and William floated out once more, looking her in the eyes. "Well I haven't seen you in a long time." He sneered as he looked her over.
She stepped back and gaped. "William Anterfun!?" She stammered.
William chuckled. "Well you're more easy to convince than your friend here." he said thumbing toward the agent who was trying to get his wedgie down.
"I'm a bit more of a believer then some of my agents in the afterlife." The head woman said matter of factly.
"Yes I got that the last time we met." William said as he reentered Cal-R's body and grinned evilly. "So I suppose you are wondering why I am here, and in this body?"
The head woman nodded and Cal-R/William laughed. "We must have a uice long chat my dear, I have plans and you have plans and I will be very willing to tell you everything, if we can come to a deal on something."
The head woman arched an eyebrow. "A deal?, what kind of deal?" She asked and glared at him.
William/Cal-R let out a dark chuckle as they walked into the base. "You'll see when I explain it to you." and with that they entered the base and the doors slammed shut.
The other agents paused as they stared at the doors. "Well that happened." The tacky man said as he looked around. "now what?"
Right then, Tracer suddenly rode past in a shopping cart, looking beat up and covered in a mix of Cheese, tuna and other assorted food items his hat was gone, his hair was done up like a afro wig, and he was wearing a tutu.
"I have no idea what happened here folks, just roll with it." Tracer said, right as he crashed into the side of SUV and was thrown back into the agents, who quickly surrounded him.
Tracer inhaled through his teeth sharply. "I don't know what's worse, the fact that I'm surrounded or that I'm wearing a tutu while I'm surrounded without my gun….stupid monkeys."
The Black agent looked at the Tacky man. "I don't think we want to know do we?"
The tacky man shrugged. "On the plus side we recaptured the prisoner making it so we do uphold our record of stopping 1,000 escape attempts."
Another agent gasped. "1,00 escaped attempts stopped do you know what this means?"
"We're horrible people who kidnap children?"
"That and it means, PARTY TIME!"
At that the agents all let out a whopping cheer and began dancing several champaign bottle corks went flying as they danced around and singing old war songs. As they did this a DJ appeared that began playing music, fire works shot off into the air and soon everyone was drinking like there was no tomrrow.
No one noticed that Tracer had made it past the gate and he looked back towards them partying agents and sighed. "Just when I think I'm out off the comedy I'm dragged right back in." he sighed as he began making the long trek back to Calvin's neighborhood.
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Two updates in two days? WHAT IS GOING ON!? XD
So it appears that I finally have the plot ball rolling as the Grand poop bah is introduced!
What is Williams plan?
What will this mean for our heroes!?
Will I update again tomorrow!?
Tune in next time to find out!
And remember to review plz ^^