For four hours Callen talked, he had never done this in his life, and he had no idea why he was doing it now. He had done the exit counseling, he had done the dance before and walked out his secrets intact on the other side. Now he had started opening up, he could not stop and he was furious with himself.

Callen paced around, shooting glances towards the other room where he knew that Marco and Gibbs were waiting for Carter to call them back in, but he could not stop talking.

All the while, however, Carter sat there, nodding where needed, not judging, just listening. Callen cringed at what he was revealing; he sounded in his own ears like he was whining. He stopped pacing and sat exhausted on the couch.

"Thank you." Carter said softly, as Callen breathed heavily with his head in his hands.

"What?" Callen looked Carter right in the eyes in surprise.

"It must have taken a lot to tell me all of that. I will admit some of it I knew from the information I was given by Ms. Lange on you, but you filled in a lot of her blanks too."

A cold dread filled Callen as he took in Carter's words.

"Hetty knew?" He sighed and gave a short resigned laugh, "Of course she knew; she knows everything."

"Not everything. However, the information on the training camps in the Calling that you divulged and their methods will need to be reported so that if we find other children we can help them. The information you shared on your upbringing, that can remain confidential… But…?"

Callen shook his head sharply. "NO!" he shouted.

"At least let me report him to the police, to check he isn't still fostering." Carter pleaded.

"He's not… not fostering anyway." Callen said, not meeting his eye. He had checked into Rowan and made sure the man was unable to do anything to anyone.

Well, that was another box he would never open, except to allow a few moments of self satisfaction as he remembered Rowan's screams when he had gotten his revenge. The man would live, but never would he be intimate with anyone again.

"What that man did to you was evil… no wonder you ran from him and fell into The Callings clutches, it must have seemed like heaven compared to that?" Carter continued, wondering at the slight smile that played on the corner of Callen's mouth.

"I hadn't meant to mention that, can we please just forget I said it... Please?" Callen breathed.

"You needed to talk about it Grisha. In my opinion, it is the reason you clung to your ideal of Alexei. What Pete Rowan did to you was wrong, and you were desperate to find someone who cared, without 'that'. I understand what you were looking for and Alexei gave you that."

Callen shuddered at the mention of his name.

Although the memories of Alexei were fresh, he had all but buried the memory of Pete and what he had been running from.

When Callen had first been placed in the home of Pete and his wife Carol, Pete had seemed slick and cool in Callen's eyes. Carol was a bubbly redhead who Callen had gotten along with instantly.

During the first few days, Carol had taken him shopping, treating him to new clothes and a Walkman personal stereo, something he had seen the kids in school own and never thought he would. This was the first thing he had ever owned that had been new and, he thought, with no strings attached.

Then Carol's sister had gotten sick, so she had gone to New York to visit, leaving Callen with her husband.

Pete had been charming; he had shown Callen his motorbike letting him help with the engine. Callen had loved the smell of the oil and the chance to fix things with his hands, not noticing when Pete had leaned over behind him, his hands brushing Callen's as he had pulled out the spark plugs to clean them. It was not until a few days after Carol had left, that Pete showed his true colors. Callen dealing with it the only way he knew how, by jumping out of the window and leaving that house and that man far behind him and burying the memory down deep, in a box in his mind marked, 'Do not ever open!'.

Unfortunately, during his meltdown, Callen had let out everything that had happened, explaining how much better Alexei had been to him in his mind. His comparison at that time had been what he had just escaped from. Alexei had earned the boy's respect in a way that few adults ever had, this had made his loss hit Callen harder than he had admitted to.

Carter had made a mental note to report Rowan to the police, even if Callen would not or could not co-operate. He would have to note it in his report to Hetty, but he would have to say that although Callen was shaken by the recounting of the memories, he was not compromised by them. This was the main reason that Callen had had a harder time adjusting than Marco had.

Marco had fallen into The Calling at four years old; he had been mentally twisted of course, but not hurt like Callen had. There was no resentment on Marco's part, just sadness and confusion. Maybe that was why Marco had adjusted better. Carter felt he still needed to get both Callen and Marco to talk together, for Marco more than Callen.

Marco was pacing in the small kitchen. Gibbs had assured him that Callen was being helped and that Carter was safe. He had not gone into the room at all, but Marco knew that if Gibbs said all was well, then it was. However, a small flicker of doubt remained, after all Callen's abrupt change in demeanor had surprised them all.

"What do you think is happening?" Marco asked for about the fifth time.

Gibbs smiled, "Callen's talking."

"You think he's gonna be ok?" Marco found himself surprised at the amount of worry he had for the younger man.

Gibbs suppressed a smile. "Sure, he's gonna be fine. So tell me how's work going?" He asked, deflecting his friends' attention.

Marco smiled and took the seat across from his former boss. "It's good, I play three nights a week and alternate Sundays. Got a regular crowd that comes in, there's this little old lady, you'd like her she's a redhead. She comes in, orders a pot of coffee, listens till I'm done then leaves.

"Maybe she likes you?" Gibbs joked.

Marco laughed, "Not my type boss." He stopped as he noticed the slip.

"I'm sorry Gibbs." he said at the sad look that crossed his ex-boss's face.

Gibbs shook his head, "I missed that," he admitted. "Whether you were Marco or DiNozzo I was still ya boss and ya friend. You can use it if ya want."

Marco smiled, "I'd like that… Boss."

They lapsed into an easy silence, Gibbs reading a newspaper that had been discarded on the table, and Marco finding a book that caught his interest. Every once in awhile, his eyes straying to the closed door to the room where he knew Callen was talking to Carter.

"I can't do this," Callen shook his head as he paced the room. "I just tried to kill him!"

Carter smiled, "I know you didn't mean it, you know that Marco didn't mean it."

"He's got the right to press charges," Callen argued. "I won't stop him."

Carter stood up, "Then we had better find out don't you think?"

Callen stood stock still as Carter walked towards the kitchenette. Carter opened the door, and said something Callen couldn't hear, to the men inside.

Gibbs came out first, sizing Callen up to make sure he was not a threat. Callen gulped, he had not felt this bad since… well since he was a teenager, and Hetty had taught him that trust went both ways. Callen had hated the fact that he had let her down back then, and hated the fact that Jethro was considering him a threat now.

Callen stepped back, worried that he had ruined his friendship with the man who had never said a word, Jethro stood there with his arms crossed scrutinizing him. Then he walked across the room and slapped him up the back of the head.

"Hey!" Callen snapped.

Jethro raised an eyebrow, "You think you don't deserve it?" He said, keeping his voice low.

Callen looked down guiltily, "I do," he agreed and turned away from the man who had been his friend, unable to look him in the eye anymore. He knew that he had ruined one of the best friendships ever.

"Nothing's ruined Callen, just a bit bent. Just needs some sanding, a bit of TLC and it'll be good again," Gibbs reassured him.

Callen could not hold back the smile at the woodworking metaphor.

"So…" Gibbs said as he sat down, "What the hell were you thinking?"

Callen sighed, "I wasn't. I haven't been thinking clearly since this all started," he admitted. "I just… I hadn't planned to kill Marco, I just saw red."

Gibbs waited for a moment, "So you didn't put on a fake persona as you climbed the stairs, you didn't put a knife in your pocket and planned to kill him the moment you knew he had tried to kill Alexei?"

Callen could not deny Gibbs was right in a way, but he was also wrong.

"I did, but I hadn't decided to kill Marco, not when he tried to kill Alexei, it was more when he had made it through all this. He was moving on with his life and I was still… stuck."

"You still stuck?" Gibbs asked a bit of incredulity laced his voice.

"No… but I was way out of line, I've never felt like this before Gibbs.

It's… not me." Callen sighed, clearly unnerved about his behavior.

Gibbs nodded, "It's not, but where Marco worked with the exit counselors to clear him of all his conditioning, you didn't did you?"

Callen shrugged, "Didn't think I was conditioned; I left as a teenager. I didn't need to be talked to death, I just wanted to get back to work."

"Well, now you know," Gibbs told him flatly, not letting him know how he felt just yet. "So what ya gonna do about it?"

Walking away from the window, Callen went and stood stiffly in front of his friend.

"Rule 45," Callen said. "I need to actually 'talk' to Marco. You were right, this isn't his fault. He did what he was trained to do, then I suppose, I'd better see Hetty. I assume you told her about what happened?"

Gibbs shook his head, "I never called her; figured I'd leave the decision to you."

Callen gave a small, half smile and chuckled, "She'll probably make me spend time with Nate. Great, more counseling. I don't want to tell her, but you can't keep anything from her, you know that."

"I'm gonna trust you Callen, I'm gonna stay out in the other room with Carter. Talk to Marco, he's not that bad a guy."

Gibbs got up, and as Callen turned back to the window, Gibbs nodded at Marco as he entered the kitchen, indicating to Carter that they wait until the two men had a chance to talk.

Noticing how the younger man's shoulders seemed squared as if to brace himself from an oncoming onslaught, Marco shut the door to the kitchenette and leaned against the wall, waiting.

After a few minutes he sighed, "I am not going to hurt you Callen."

Marco smiled softly at the slight relaxing of the shoulders, but noticing the younger man was still prepared, just in case.

"You should." Callen's voice was low and hard.

Moving, Marco sank into the chair, he was not going to respond to that.

"I was out of line." Callen sighed as he moved towards the couch opposite Marco and sat down.

Marco nodded in agreement, "You were, but I understand why you did it. If the roles had been reversed I would have done the same thing."

"You would?"

Marco smiled, "I had the same training you did Grisha. We both did wrong, we just need to move on from here."

Callen nodded, "I agree."

Callen stared at the older man for a moment, not sure what to say,

Finally, he spoke. "I need to thank you, those few weeks I had with Alexei… they were important to me. You were responsible for the peace I had for a while."

Marco nodded, unsure what to say, "I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. I don't want you to hate me."

Callen turned to him, there was an undercurrent of something in his eyes, but Marco did not know what it was. "I don't hate you Marco, but I can't be your friend, in fact, if I had my way I'd like to forget you ever existed."

"So go our separate ways?" Marco asked.

Callen nodded, "Hopefully our paths will never cross."

Marco nodded. "Fair enough, what do we tell Jethro?"

For a moment Callen did not know what to say. He knew Gibbs would be disappointed in him, after all Marco had managed to maintain his friendship with Gibbs despite all that had happened. However Callen could and would walk away from this part of his life with no regrets. His only worry would be that if by doing so he would lose Gibbs as a friend.

"Tell him we're ok?" Callen replied, turning his answer into a question.

"We could, but we could tell him the truth. That we've sorted our problem out and we are moving on."

Callen chuckled, "Yeah, 'coz he'll believe that."

"It isn't lying Callen. We may not be the best of friends, but we have sorted our problem and will be moving on. I promise I won't mention you to him when he comes out to visit." For a moment Marco stopped, thinking. "You'll be ok with me still seeing Gibbs won't you. I mean, yeah I lied to him for a long time, but apart from Senior I never had any family, what I had with Gibbs was important to me. He was kinda like the father I always wanted."

Callen smiled in spite of himself, "I know the feeling. You are right though, he feels the same way about you. You're the son he always wanted. It hurt him when he found out you were lying to him. But you tried to change and you did, it meant a lot to him. It means a lot to him that you're still in his life. Don't let him down ok?"

Marco nodded, "Never will. He gave me a second chance I won't waste it."

Callen nodded and looked towards the door.

"I need to go. I can't stay here now. Tell Jethro I'm sorry. I'll call him in a few days."

Marco nodded, "Thanks Callen."