WOAH Three chapters in ONE MONTH!?
Eh not too special, this is just set up for the final bit of the story as well next chapter XD
Disclaimer: Bill Watterson owns this stuff except the OC's
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One Hour Later
Calvin and Hobbes sat in their room, Calvin on the floor reading comic books and out of his school uniform and into his trademark outfit, and Hobbes on the bed, just sitting there, hissing a couple of times every so often due to the pain that was running through his body.
"When are you going to fix the Injury Go Away Ray again?" Hobbes asked as he rolled over onto his back, he grimaced as he did so in pain.
"It's still a bit buggy Hobbes, for some reason it kept turning me into a Cartoon character, my life is already one..or was."
Hobbes sighed to himself and rolled his eyes and he stretched out. "So we got attacked by P.O.O.P.Y…"
"Well not really P.O.O.P.Y, just their evil brainwashed cyborg leader, and her robot friend."
"No you got attacked by the head cyborg lady, I fought the robot!"
"It still counts as US!" Calvin shot back.
"Okay whatever, so what do we do now?" Hobbes asked as he looked at his friend. "To be honest I'd rather not charge the enemy base and get shot again after an epic battle."
"Well, the only person with intel; on the enemy base is Tracer, and he's still in la la the waffles are ucking the brains out of the Teen Titans and turning them into toddlers and unicycles will conquer the transportation industry land."
"And there's another reason why we shouldn't charge the enemy base." Hobbes said. 'I don't want to know any more about Tracer's la la land."
"Well, we can't do anything unless Tracer gets his act together!"
"Are we included in this?" A voice said and both looked up to see Sally, in her usual attire as well, and Altheia, Lobo stood behind them.
"Come on in, the rooms heated." Hobbes mumbled as all three walked in and Altheia sat down next to Hobbes.
"Aww did the big tiger get a booboo?" Altheia mocked. "Do you need a kiss to make it better?"
Hobbes head shot up and nodded eagerly, only to end up having a water balloon sent into his face.
"Make out with that stripes!" She said laughing and Hobbes sighed.
Altheia don't get Water everywhere!" Sally scolded, gently and Altheia rolled her eyes.
"Look who's talking rubber band machine gun."
"As much nice as this talking head scene is, shouldn't we be getting to the plot!?" Lobo asked holding up a script. "I haven't appeared in this fanfic for over a year and I actually want to do something!"
"Didn't you read the above sentences?" Calvin asked and pointed up the page. "Tracer's our only asset to get into the base and he's gone cuckoo!"
"What did they do him?" Sally asked cringing. "When we walked past he began yelling something about ghosts named Will Fun."
Hobbes ears perked up at that and he blinked.
"Whatever they did to him we can't happen to us." Calvin put.
"Thanks Captain." lobo said rolling his eyes. He then stood up. "Where's your mom at Calvin?"
"How should I know I came up here after we got home." He said flipping through his comic. "Why do you ask?"
"Well, I know a little..something...that could snap Tracer out of his rants."
Everyone looked up and stared at Lobo.
"What kind of something?" Altheia asked.
Lobo chuckled. "A Concoction so intense that it's guaranteed to snap a person who's been in a coma out of it and make them fully awake, Derrick calls it Nightmare Waker...I just call it mush."
"sounds dangerous." Sally said
"Let's do it!" Calvin said and threw his book down. "What do you need?"
"A Blender, Mustard, Five Skull Fire Sauce, some Eggplant casserole, Five cans of Mountain Dew, cayenne pepper, ten bottles of tabasco sauce, some onions, and a microwave."
Everyone stared at Lobo in shock.
"That...that sounds like suicide!" Sally said with a gasp.
"It will probably make a great Youtube video though!" Altheia said with a smirk and Calvin shook his head.
"My Mom doesn't' have us eat much of anything, the blender I can get you, Eggplant casserole, by the spades, and mustard, and the onions, oh and the Microwave I can't get you anything else."
"We've got the rest of that stuff at home!" Altheia said. "I'll go get it!"
"You just want to get your camera don't you?" Sally asked.
"Yes" Althea said bluntly, and then opened the window and hopped out of it. "Cya on the flipside!"
She slammed the window shut as she left and hobbes sighed wistfully.
"You're crazy about that girl." Lobo said with a laugh "and she's crazier!"
"Hey, I thought you wanted to do something "Significant" in this story." Calvin said.
"Right Right, fine whatever." Lobo said. "Last one downstairs drinks whatever Tracer doesn't!"
And with that the wolf ran off, Calvin and Sally raced off as well. '
"Hey guys wait up!" Hobbes said and stood on his hands and knees, then with a *CRACK* from his arms he flopped back onto the bed. "Or I'll just stay here and wait for the rush to get back up here when Calvin's Mom gets back, that works too."
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Luckily for everyone Mom had gone out to take with Belle and Max so they had the place to themselves.
Calvin pulled out the blender and a blender cup, and Sally got out the Mustard and Eggplant casserole-"
"Which one am I grabbing?" Sally asked. "There's a lot in here!"
"There is?" Lobo asked and looked. 'Woah, kid are your parents health nuts?"
"My dad is, I don't know about my mom."
"Mind if I take all this then? Me and Derrick have great uses for it."
"I don't want to know what they are but sure take em, in fact take the ingredients too!"
"Look, can we get this over with? My eyes are beginning to water." Sally said, holding up the onion."
"Fine fine." Lobo said and grabbed three casseroles.
As they walked in, Calvin looked at Lobo. "So..what goes in first?"
Lobo just shrugged. "We just pile it all in and it usually works, they wake up either way." He then popped open the cap of the Mustard and poured it all into the blender, and then he threw in the Eggplant casseroles, and then just tossed in the onion.
"Aren't you going to peel it?" Sally asked her face already a grimace because of what she was seeing.
"Not it adds flavor." Lobo said and then turned on the blender. "The hot sauce comes last to give it a red coloring though."
"I can't decide if this is gross or awesome!" Calvin said.
"I can't decide if this is disgusting or gross" Sally said.
"Wimp" lobo said as Altheia threw open to door her arms full of the rest of the ingredients.
"I got the stuff guys!" She said happily and set them all onto the table with a grin. and then whipped out a video camera. "This is gonna be gold!"
Lobo then grabbed the mountain dew and poured it all in, followed by the cayenne pepper, and then blended all that in followed by the sauces and peppers and blended it all until it was a bright red mix. He then threw it into the microwave and set it at five minutes, once that was done he pulled it out.
"Alright, lets do this."
Sally cringed while Calvin was pumping his arms with excitement, Altheia grabbed her camcorder as they all went into the living room, where Tracer sat still ranting.
"The monkeys, THE MONKEYS, they see everything they see all!" Tracer exclaimed when he saw them. "WG when did you become short!?" He said looking at Sally.
Co: A/N: At least it wasn't Calvin he directed it toward.
"Hey Tracer, for doing such a good job we've got a present for you." Calvin said trying to hold back his laughter.
"The vault, the films, they need to get the reels to open the vault only then he will be free!" Tracer said. "Blackness will drip over the land like a BLOT, and one shall become him!, he who resides in the shadows shall step into the light, and the end of everything is near!"
Everyone stared at Tracer and then Sally's eye twitched.
"Just pour it in there before he just flat out reveals how Security Authors is going to end." Calvin said.
"WORLD OF NINJA!" Tracer screamed before Lobo shoved the glass into his mouth.
"Drink up buddy." he said with a chuckle.
Tracer downed the drink in less than a second, ehw as under the impression it was Guinness, and then Lobo pulled it away.
"Woah he drank it all...guess Hobbes doesn't have to drink any -"
Then suddenly Tracer shot up and began to twitch and spasm.
"What's happening to him!?" Sally Asked, taking a step back.
"Follow the girls example and step back, far away." Lobo said and then began to push everyone back. "When he goes off it's going to be huge."
"Huge!?" Sally asked nervously and Altheia laughed.
"This going to be gold!"
Calvin looked at Lobo. "What do mean by go off?"
"A scream loud enough to shake the heavens."
"Like my scream from the last story?"
"Worse"
"Hoo boy." Calvin said with a grin.
Tracers face then turned red, blood red, veins and everything as his head began to inflate, his eyes bulge out like a bigs eyes and his mouth opened a bit, letting out a whistle like the one of a train.
"Yeah I added too much eggplant." Lobo said.
Then Tracers mouth opened in a-
"AUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Hs scream BEGAN and the group found themselves being blown back, altheia put her camcorder between her teeth and extended her claws and then dug them into the carpet, while Lobo did the same, and Clavin and Sally gripped onto both of them
!
The house began to shake as Tracer's scream echoed throughout it, Hobbes reached out his arms and grabbed the bed.
"Can we have at least ONE story without a nuclear scream!?"
!
My gosh he's still going!
Everyone heard it, the P.O.O.P.Y vans heard it, Dad heard it, mom heard it, Max and Belle, who were on their way to the house heard it, BOS heard it, Beth heard it, even my Grandpa heard it and he's in heaven!
!
"HOW LONG IS HE GOING TO BE LIKE THIS!?" Sally screamed as they began to move backwards across the carpet.
"I don't know!" Calvin shouted.
"WHAT!?" Sally asked..or rather screamed.
"WHY ARE WE YELLING AT THE TOP OF OUR LUNGS AND USING THE CAPS LOCK!" Lobo screeched and he looked ahead. "I THINK I ADDED TOO MUCH EGGPLANT CASSEROLE!"
"THAT'S WHERE YOU THINK IT WENT WRONG!?" Sally exclaimed.
"CAN WE JUST END THIS SECTION IT'S GETTING ANNOYING!"
!
And Tracer was still yelling.
Yeah….
Then the door to the house swung open and Derrick walked in he stared at at the sight, or rather was slightly blown back by it.
With a sigh he walked over to Tracer, and then stomped on his foot, hard, they others thought they heard a crack!.
Then finally Tracer stopped yelling!
"What did I say about making Nightmare without me Lobo, you know I'm the only one who knows how to snap people out of it!"
"The only one?, all you did as step on his foot!" Calvin said however Derrick shot him a glare.
"It has to be hard enough to snap them out of it." He said turning toward Tracer and then slapping a hand onto his back. "How you feeling?"
"I feel like I just got hit by a Roller coaster and then got dragged along for the rise." Tracer said and then he saw himself in a mirror. "I look the part as well."
"Where's his usual monologues?" Sally asked Calvin who shrugged.
"The adrenaline is pumped into his brain, so he'll be like this for a while." Derrick said, it's at that point he noticed that Tracer was no longer slouching and had a giant grin on his face, and he was twitching.
"So Tracer, what data did you find out about P.O.O.P.Y?" Calvin asked and Tracer turned to face him.
"I found out many things their base is at least 3 hours away and it's guarded by stupid agents who sometimes get lucky and with electric fences, they don't have a lot of money so the place is a bit shabby in certain places especially the laundry chute which really chapped my butt, they also have an afro shop in the lower levels which is how I got out and then I used a store cart that some of the agents stole to rise around in and pretend that they are cool, most of the agents are idiots except their leader who is part cyborg-"
"I KNEW IT!" Calvin said, and then he got hit by a 2x4.
"-and they do have some smart agents but they are easily annoyed by their underlings sand I guess they have a few scientists, also they had Beth Ko'ed when I got there-"
"Wait wait wait, Beth?...as in the person who was supposed to be this fics villain Beth?" Sally asked.
"The Very same." Tracer completed. "She also had the Calvin Robot with her….and then it turned out to be possessed by the ghost of ."
"Anterfun? You mean William?" Lobo asked. "That crazy guys back as well!?"
"As a ghost, possibly a robot."
"So he was the robot that attacked Hobbes!" Althea said her finger in the air, and then she paused. "We should probably have him down here as well."
"Why isn't he?" Derrick Asked. "unless he kicked the bucket-"
Calvin then punched Derrick in the arm, and Derrick found himself on the receiving end of Calvin's glare and he wisely shut up.
"He's just in a lot of pain-"Sally began and Derrick scoffed. "Is that all? I've got a drink just for that!"
"But the flowers we need are out of season!" Lobo interjected. "And there's no caribou around here!"
"We will improvise!" Derrick said as He led Lobo into the kitchen. Altheia followed with a grin.
"Wait!," Sally called after him. "Can we use the Camcorder to get what Tracer says?"
Altheia then threw the camcorder behind her and it hit Calvin in the head with a "BOINK"
Huzzah! More scientific progress!
"Anyway Tracer." Sally said picking it up, and hitting record. "as you were saying."
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And more randomness ensued.
NExt chapter maybe the plot will begin to move..and maybe not.
Maybe I'll begin using caps again, which BTW ALL Calvin and Hobbes strips were written in caps anyone else see that?
Anyway remember-
Hobbes: *Rushes past* BATHROOM! *he dives in and we hear gut wrenching sounds*
Derrick: Well...at least he's moving now.
*Eyeroll* Read and review people.