KURT

Pinocchio was everything Ms July had promised and more. It was hard work, but rewarding, in more ways than one. Kurt got along very well with Pilcher and the cast, most of whom were children. Being closer to their age than the men playing Gepetto, Jiminy Cricket and Foulfellow, the kids naturally flocked to him as their confidant and playmate during rehearsal.

The Blue Fairy was played by a feisty, petite woman from Texas, who reminded him a lot of April Rhodes. She had an amazing voice- and a nose for talent. She overheard Kurt sing When You Wish Upon A Star to the children while they waited to be fitted for their costumes, and demanded they'd sing it together in the play. Pilcher was delighted, having found so much more in his replacement casting than he ever thought possible, and it became the show's highlight; along with Kurt's dance and song for I've Got No Strings.

The performances were packed (extra seating was added after preview praise from the dress rehearsal appeared on several theatre blogs) and a small piece even appeared on the NYADA student website. Pilcher graciously allowed Elliott to make a mobile phone bootleg "for Kurt's dad" after Kurt explained he had cancer and couldn't make it (twisting the truth a little- yeah, his dad did have cancer, but it was still in remission, he just couldn't make the shows because of work), and thus, Elliott was there filming all 3 performances so they could pick the best take. And while Burt would definitely get to see the video, Kurt now had something to show for his hard work too, even if he wasn't officially allowed to share it.

On the last matinée, Kurt took a snapshot of the audience to upload it to his facebook, and as an afterthought, sent it to Cassandra July's NYADA email address as well, with a thank-you note. When he checked his phone after the play, he had received a picture in return: a large, thin harlequin cat with bright blue eyes, sitting in a travel carrier on a bench in front of an animal shelter. The cat was looking like she couldn't care less, but Kurt was pretty positive she was just putting up a facade, like her new owner.

With the money in his bankaccount and the experience on his resumée, Kurt was now going into the holidays a lot better off than he was a few weeks ago. Still, the whole 'Christmas spirit' hadn't really caught yet. He'd never felt less like traveling back to Lima, knowing that it meant a week without seeing Elliott (and possibly running in to Blaine). He knew he ought to be glad as it would give him time to think about things and get some distance, but he also knew he'd probably just end up missing Elliott instead. At least at Christmas, no one noticed if you spiked your drink.

Kurt signed the final playbill for his small co-stars and hung up his Pinocchio hat. That was it. His vacation had officially begun. But before he left, he still had one annual tradition to fulfill.

"Okay, what is it?"

Kurt looked up from his icecream sundae at Mercedes, who somehow managed to smile and look stern at the same time.

"What?" he asked.

"I know you. Something's up. We've been Christmas shopping all morning and you haven't even gotten yourself anything. All you got was a new hat for your dad, a scarf for Carole, and some kind of cat toy. You don't even own a cat." She paused, then suddenly looked a little horrified. "Oh god, it's not a sex thing, is it?"

Kurt snorted, then shook his head. "No. It's really a cat toy. It's for someone at school. Well, for someone's cat, anyway." Then he nodded at the tall glass in front of him. "I got us ice cream? That counts."

Mercedes shook her head. "Nah. Something's going on. It's like you're not even really here. You're distracted. You didn't even see that shoe sale until you literally ran into the sign!"

Kurt prodded his frozen treat with his spoon. "Yeah, I know." After all this time, Mercedes still knew him well.

"Is it boys?" she asked. "This Tim guy from school?"

Kurt shook his head.

"Or what was his name? Nicholas?"

Kurt shook his head again, feeling a blush rise on his cheeks. He had told Mercedes about his recent adventures when it got too much to keep to himself, but he hadn't told her his reasons behind it.

Nicholas was another student from his stage combat class. Kurt had been paired up with him for his midterm, and they had continued their exercise in the NYADA showers. It had been crazy hot (and took several things off his bucket list in one go), but Kurt had avoided him afterwards when he realized Nicholas and Tim were friends and the situation felt too weird. He hoped it wouldn't be too awkward when classes started again.

"It's not Blaine, is it?" Mercedes sounded horrified. "Please tell me you didn't fall for all of those Christmas videos he's been posting on your wall…Sleepless in Seattle…Love, Actually. It's totally obvious what he's doing."

"No, no. God, no," Kurt said, rolling his shoulders back to suppress a shiver. "No, it's not Blaine." He let out a deep sigh. "I think I'm in love with Elliott." He gave his ice cream another prod. "Actually, I'm pretty sure I am."

"Why is that a bad thing? Elliott's a great guy!" Mecedes said supportively.

Kurt sighed. "Yes, he is. He's sweet, and caring, and mature…. And he's my best friend- best guy friend-" he corrected, giving Mercedes a pointed look. "He has never made me feel bad about being who I am, ever. He kept my band together when everything was falling apart. And I love hanging out with him. He helps me with stuff, I help him. Whenever something exciting happens, I call him first."

Mercedes smiled. She clearly understood that Elliott had filled a bit of the gap she had left when she went to LA, and bore him no ill will over it.

"He's also pretty hot," she added, "Right?" She nudged his shoulder and winked.

Kurt nodded. After so many years, she definitely knew his type. "Yes. But that's the problem. Now that I realized I am beginning to like him as more than a friend, it's becoming really hard to keep it together around him."

"But isn't Elliott…?" Mercedes asked, circling her finger at Kurt.

"He is," Kurt confirmed. "But he made it quite clear he just wants to be friends."

"How clear is quite clear? Because we both know a little about misreading people's cues…" Mercedes said.

"Clear as in he literally said so," Kurt replied miserably.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"So how long has this been going on?"

Kurt sighed again. "Pretty much since I broke up with Blaine. Maybe even before that, and I just didn't know it."

Mercedes put a hand on his arm and squeezed it softly. "Oh, honey. These things really suck."

"Yeah," Kurt replied. "I've tried to stop it, but it's not working."

Mercedes cocked her head. "So having sex with two other guys was you trying to get over your crush on Elliott?"

"Three," Kurt corrected, feeling guilty. While the first two didn't weigh on his conscience very much, the third, Walter, a single father with a ten year old son in the Pinocchio cast, did. He had deserved a lot more than someone as emotionally unavailable as Kurt.

Mercedes gasped. "Oh my. Why did you think that was a good idea?"

Kurt shrugged. "I don't know. I just thought if I could just get it out of my system…"

"Haven't we seen enough romantic movies to know that never works?" Mercedes said sternly. "If it's really love…"

"I know, I know." With all of the crappy Christmas stuff Blaine had been posting on his wall, he had actually given it a lot of thought already. Real love… that only made it worse.

"I'll be okay," he said, smiling sadly. "You know me. I bounce back, always."

Mercedes put on a smile too. "Just bounce safely, alright?"

"Yes, mom," Kurt teased, his smile genuine this time.

A few hours later, after Kurt was back at the loft with his sparse selection of presents, he got a text from Mercedes.

Thought about it some more. Tell him. He's your best friend. He'll understand. Don't be the guy who ends up busting a car window out of frustration ;-)

Kurt smiled at the bittersweet memory. But telling him? Was that really a good idea?

Maybe it was. A large part of what made their friendship great was their honesty, and now they didn't have that. If Kurt told Elliott how he felt, even if it lead to nothing, he wouldn't have to hide a part of his life any more. And after that, at least he could tell him about Walter. He was sure Elliott would know just what to say to make him feel better.

The prospect was daunting, and every time Kurt tried to imagine a scenario in which to tell him, his mind placed Elliott in a chair in the choir room of McKinley.

A serenade. That was really the only way Kurt knew how to tell him. But he couldn't possibly ship Elliott off to Lima to sing a song to him in front of a bunch of teenagers… Then, a thought struck him. The Winter Showcase. As an invité, Kurt had the opportunity to take a plus-one; what if he took Elliott and sang to him there? He was going to take his dad, but this was actually perfect. Surely there was a song he could pick that would hold up to NYADA's standards as well as convey his feelings- the best songs were all about love, after all. He'd get everything off his chest as well as give Madame Tibideaux the 'complexity and depth' she looked for in her students. If she wanted vulnerability, this was it.

It didn't take long for Kurt to decide on the song. He smiled at himself as the idea formed in his mind. Yes, Sondheim again. He'd have to start paying royalties to the man soon.

He sent Mercedes a thank you and a kissy face, and dialled Elliott's number to invite him to the Winter Showcase, feeling a little relieved already.